pop quiz....

Daisylin
Daisylin Member Posts: 365
in Esophageal Cancer #1
Well, my friends, I'm gonna post a pop quiz today......

Here in Canada, this weekend is Thanksgiving weekend. I know most of you are in the states, and have a bit of time left before you celebrate your turkey weekend.

What I want to know is, what are you thankful for? I've always had such an easy time answering this question, but this year, I'm struggling to find much of anything.

My list:

1. I am so thankful to have met Lee, and to have shared 7 wonderful years with him. We both realized early on that what we had was amazing, and we've enjoyed so many good times and laughs along the way.

2. I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends. Lately, my favorite friends are found right here. You all have made me a better person, and I have loved sharing in your lives, and opening my life up to you. Also, my parents, who love Lee and I so much, and try so hard to do everything in their power to help us. My friends of the real world, who send me funny cards in the mail, who call, just to see how I'm doing, who offer to bring food, come clean my house or run errands. I am surrounded by so much love, it makes me cry just thinking about it.

3. I am thankful that I have a job that I love. I work in a high school, with special needs children. My 'boys' are all developmentally delayed, and highly aggressive. My class is a specialized room for teaching communication through words and other coping mechanisms, not fists. These boys are the ones that no other school can manage, these boys have sent countless people to hospital with injury and even their parents are terrified of them. Many live in group homes, and the ones living with parents are often not given the love and basic rights of life they deserve. I love seeing the small changes that I can make, by simply being kind, listening, and rewarding their 'good' behaviour. My co-workers are fabulous, and they have all been so understanding and loving. I am encouraged to take as much time off as I need for myself and of course for Lee.

4. I am thankful for my dog, Daisy. She has always been a source of enjoyment for us. Some days she's the only thing that can bring a smile to Lee's face. She's a goofy, snuggly wonderful little Beagle, and I just love her to bits.

5. I am thankful that Lee has finally gotten a palliative care doctor and nurse practitioner. They are so wonderful and caring. We finally feel that someone out there actually cares.

6. I am thankful that I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, hot and cold running water, heat and air conditioning, and money enough to pay the bills at the end of every month.

7. I am thankful that Lee is still here with me.

ok, now it's your turn.......

Comments

  • LeeinLondon
    LeeinLondon Member Posts: 103
    #2
    thanksgiving
    I am thankful for 48 healthy years, and that I got spend them enjoying myself. I've eaten good food, read good books, and have been surrounded with people that Love me, both family and friends, my entire life.

    I give thanks that I never had to sell out or hurt anyone to get ahead, and at the very least people will remember me as a "nice guy". People have told me I'm an inspiration, and so be it. At the very least I hope my journey has taught some to take stock of what is important in their lives, and to simply love one another, because nothing lasts forever, and love never dies.

    I give thanks for unbelievable wife Chantal, who jumped into action when cancer knocked, and has been a tireless caregiver to me for over a year. It took me 42 years to find my true love, and perhaps that's just the way it has to be... life isn't the movies. She has taught me so much about love and kindness. If I had to choose a longer life over ever meeting my sweetheart, I think I would choose her. I'm thankful that Chantal is young enough to have lots of living left in her, and that over time she will find love in her life again. I regret that I will never touch her gray hair, nor will I ever retire with her. I'm thankful that Chantal will be financially secure when I'm gone. To this day she greets each day with strength and humour. I love you, my cotton candy girl.

    I too am thankful for Daisy the Beagle. We do not have children, and Daisy fills that role well. During the most emotional moments, Daisy's big stupid face will jump in between us with a "hey what about me? " attitude. She brought silliness and fun into our lives.

    I'm thankful that we had time together..and still do! I could have been hit by a bus and Chantal's heart left in tatters. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"

    May you all have love in your life, and may it comfort you during this terrible time.
  • jojoshort
    jojoshort Member Posts: 230 Member
    #3
    Last letter to our friends and family
    Here's Steve's last words, written by himself in June of this year, to his friends and family. It's quite thankful, and it fits in well with the topic of gratitude Lee and Chantal posted:

    After roughly a 1-year struggle with esophageal cancer, my body finally succumbed to the disease on August 12 of this year.
    I reluctantly leave my wife, Jo-Ann, who was my loving companion in marriage for 32 years, our two wonderful adult children T___.and K___., and my kind hearted sister K___. I know they will greatly miss my departed conscious entity--once the essence of my being--now dissolved across the universe. This, of course, brings me great sorrow as I write this. There is so much that I, in turn, will miss as well. The golden years of my life with Jo-Ann, the fulfillment of my children's education and careers and the eventual birth of grandchildren are amount the milestones I'll not witness.
    Yet, I have much to be thankful for as a result of the five and a half decades I lived. I was born physically and mentally healthy to loving parents. I grew up never having to participate in the horrors of war. I witnessed the historic moon landings and space explorations whose technical achievements led to the many medical and communication devices we all enjoy today. Political regimes rose and fell before my eyes, and thanks to television and the internet, I viewed many historical events of the last half-century.
    I was fortunate to be born with a natural ability to sketch and draw that developed into a deep appreciation of the arts. Eventually I became a draftsman and later a computer animator and videographer--my career and niche in life. This interest in art also led me to relationships with people, one in particular, who had a great influence on my life. He was a good friend through the years as well as helping me through the recent dark times of the last days. Thank you, S____. One is never too old to meet new friends, and I have had the great good fortune to meet such a true and loyal friend during the middle years of my life. Thank you, P___. There are many others, too numerous to mention, that I wish I had space to acknowledge. From friendships developed in my formative teenage years to various co-workers to fellow sailors that enjoy the sport of sailing at the Massabesic Yacht Club, all have influenced my life. If I mention a few I leave out dozens. You know who you are.
    It's been said that in life, a man who has friends is a success. I believe this is true and that I have died a very rich man.
  • mrsbotch
    mrsbotch Member Posts: 349
    #4
    LeeinLondon said:

    thanksgiving
    I am thankful for 48 healthy years, and that I got spend them enjoying myself. I've eaten good food, read good books, and have been surrounded with people that Love me, both family and friends, my entire life.

    I give thanks that I never had to sell out or hurt anyone to get ahead, and at the very least people will remember me as a "nice guy". People have told me I'm an inspiration, and so be it. At the very least I hope my journey has taught some to take stock of what is important in their lives, and to simply love one another, because nothing lasts forever, and love never dies.

    I give thanks for unbelievable wife Chantal, who jumped into action when cancer knocked, and has been a tireless caregiver to me for over a year. It took me 42 years to find my true love, and perhaps that's just the way it has to be... life isn't the movies. She has taught me so much about love and kindness. If I had to choose a longer life over ever meeting my sweetheart, I think I would choose her. I'm thankful that Chantal is young enough to have lots of living left in her, and that over time she will find love in her life again. I regret that I will never touch her gray hair, nor will I ever retire with her. I'm thankful that Chantal will be financially secure when I'm gone. To this day she greets each day with strength and humour. I love you, my cotton candy girl.

    I too am thankful for Daisy the Beagle. We do not have children, and Daisy fills that role well. During the most emotional moments, Daisy's big stupid face will jump in between us with a "hey what about me? " attitude. She brought silliness and fun into our lives.

    I'm thankful that we had time together..and still do! I could have been hit by a bus and Chantal's heart left in tatters. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"

    May you all have love in your life, and may it comfort you during this terrible time.

    I too am Thankful
    As I read both of your posts Chantel and Lee it made me realize what a wonderful site this is. Look at all of the heartache we have endured BUT look at the lives we have all touched and made a difference in.

    I am thankful that I had Vince for almost 33 years. We met in 1978 and I think I fell in love with him that day.Not many people can say they had a terrific marriage BUT I can so I am truly thankful for that. He was and always will be the love of my life.

    I am thankful that I still have my mom who is 91 years old.

    I am thankful for some of my friends who have been wonderful to me, some have not but that is a different story.

    I am Thankful that I have all of you and you have made me a better person just by being here for all of us when we needed you and still do.

    I am thankful for the Website the Mourning Dawns. It is only for EC widows and these brave wonderful ladies have made such a difference in my healing. THEY all "GET IT" as we say. They have all walked this terrible road and are helping others as we try to move ahead ever so slowly.


    I am thankful for the Esophageal cancer educational foundation headed by Bart Frazzitta. Bart is an 11 year survivor of EC and he has spent all of that time helping others with this dreaded cancer.

    I am thankful for hospice and my grief counselor , Suzanne Repp, who has gotten me out of my deep dark hole and among the living again.


    And I am thankful for God that he is keeping MY Vince safe in Heaven and free of pain now.

    Barbara
  • jax568
    jax568 Member Posts: 57
    #5
    jojoshort said:

    Last letter to our friends and family
    Here's Steve's last words, written by himself in June of this year, to his friends and family. It's quite thankful, and it fits in well with the topic of gratitude Lee and Chantal posted:

    After roughly a 1-year struggle with esophageal cancer, my body finally succumbed to the disease on August 12 of this year.
    I reluctantly leave my wife, Jo-Ann, who was my loving companion in marriage for 32 years, our two wonderful adult children T___.and K___., and my kind hearted sister K___. I know they will greatly miss my departed conscious entity--once the essence of my being--now dissolved across the universe. This, of course, brings me great sorrow as I write this. There is so much that I, in turn, will miss as well. The golden years of my life with Jo-Ann, the fulfillment of my children's education and careers and the eventual birth of grandchildren are amount the milestones I'll not witness.
    Yet, I have much to be thankful for as a result of the five and a half decades I lived. I was born physically and mentally healthy to loving parents. I grew up never having to participate in the horrors of war. I witnessed the historic moon landings and space explorations whose technical achievements led to the many medical and communication devices we all enjoy today. Political regimes rose and fell before my eyes, and thanks to television and the internet, I viewed many historical events of the last half-century.
    I was fortunate to be born with a natural ability to sketch and draw that developed into a deep appreciation of the arts. Eventually I became a draftsman and later a computer animator and videographer--my career and niche in life. This interest in art also led me to relationships with people, one in particular, who had a great influence on my life. He was a good friend through the years as well as helping me through the recent dark times of the last days. Thank you, S____. One is never too old to meet new friends, and I have had the great good fortune to meet such a true and loyal friend during the middle years of my life. Thank you, P___. There are many others, too numerous to mention, that I wish I had space to acknowledge. From friendships developed in my formative teenage years to various co-workers to fellow sailors that enjoy the sport of sailing at the Massabesic Yacht Club, all have influenced my life. If I mention a few I leave out dozens. You know who you are.
    It's been said that in life, a man who has friends is a success. I believe this is true and that I have died a very rich man.

    Thank you for sharing
    The posts above have made me cry and laugh. I don't think I will ever forget these posts.

    I am thankful to have loved the same man for 18 plus years, to have our wonderful girls who we struggled to have and waited for them to come into our lives.

    I am thankful for parents, siblings and close friends.

    I am thankful my own cancer is gone and has stayed away for 4 years. I am thankful for the health of my girls.

    I am thankful my husband has led a illness free life until now.

    I am thankful to the internet and this board, for the knowledge and human kindness I have found on here.

    I am most thankful to be able to laugh and love with all the people above.

    Thank you Chantal for starting this post. Wishing you and Lee a most Happy Thanksgiving.

    Love and strength to all.

    Jackie
  • jax568
    jax568 Member Posts: 57
    #6
    jojoshort said:

    Last letter to our friends and family
    Here's Steve's last words, written by himself in June of this year, to his friends and family. It's quite thankful, and it fits in well with the topic of gratitude Lee and Chantal posted:

    After roughly a 1-year struggle with esophageal cancer, my body finally succumbed to the disease on August 12 of this year.
    I reluctantly leave my wife, Jo-Ann, who was my loving companion in marriage for 32 years, our two wonderful adult children T___.and K___., and my kind hearted sister K___. I know they will greatly miss my departed conscious entity--once the essence of my being--now dissolved across the universe. This, of course, brings me great sorrow as I write this. There is so much that I, in turn, will miss as well. The golden years of my life with Jo-Ann, the fulfillment of my children's education and careers and the eventual birth of grandchildren are amount the milestones I'll not witness.
    Yet, I have much to be thankful for as a result of the five and a half decades I lived. I was born physically and mentally healthy to loving parents. I grew up never having to participate in the horrors of war. I witnessed the historic moon landings and space explorations whose technical achievements led to the many medical and communication devices we all enjoy today. Political regimes rose and fell before my eyes, and thanks to television and the internet, I viewed many historical events of the last half-century.
    I was fortunate to be born with a natural ability to sketch and draw that developed into a deep appreciation of the arts. Eventually I became a draftsman and later a computer animator and videographer--my career and niche in life. This interest in art also led me to relationships with people, one in particular, who had a great influence on my life. He was a good friend through the years as well as helping me through the recent dark times of the last days. Thank you, S____. One is never too old to meet new friends, and I have had the great good fortune to meet such a true and loyal friend during the middle years of my life. Thank you, P___. There are many others, too numerous to mention, that I wish I had space to acknowledge. From friendships developed in my formative teenage years to various co-workers to fellow sailors that enjoy the sport of sailing at the Massabesic Yacht Club, all have influenced my life. If I mention a few I leave out dozens. You know who you are.
    It's been said that in life, a man who has friends is a success. I believe this is true and that I have died a very rich man.

    Thank you for sharing
    The posts above have made me cry and laugh. I don't think I will ever forget these posts.

    I am thankful to have loved the same man for 18 plus years, to have our wonderful girls who we struggled to have and waited for them to come into our lives.

    I am thankful for parents, siblings and close friends.

    I am thankful my own cancer is gone and has stayed away for 4 years. I am thankful for the health of my girls.

    I am thankful my husband has led a illness free life until now.

    I am thankful to the internet and this board, for the knowledge and human kindness I have found on here.

    I am most thankful to be able to laugh and love with all the people above.

    Thank you Chantal for starting this post. Wishing you and Lee a most Happy Thanksgiving.

    Love and strength to all.

    Jackie
  • jax568
    jax568 Member Posts: 57
    #7
    jojoshort said:

    Last letter to our friends and family
    Here's Steve's last words, written by himself in June of this year, to his friends and family. It's quite thankful, and it fits in well with the topic of gratitude Lee and Chantal posted:

    After roughly a 1-year struggle with esophageal cancer, my body finally succumbed to the disease on August 12 of this year.
    I reluctantly leave my wife, Jo-Ann, who was my loving companion in marriage for 32 years, our two wonderful adult children T___.and K___., and my kind hearted sister K___. I know they will greatly miss my departed conscious entity--once the essence of my being--now dissolved across the universe. This, of course, brings me great sorrow as I write this. There is so much that I, in turn, will miss as well. The golden years of my life with Jo-Ann, the fulfillment of my children's education and careers and the eventual birth of grandchildren are amount the milestones I'll not witness.
    Yet, I have much to be thankful for as a result of the five and a half decades I lived. I was born physically and mentally healthy to loving parents. I grew up never having to participate in the horrors of war. I witnessed the historic moon landings and space explorations whose technical achievements led to the many medical and communication devices we all enjoy today. Political regimes rose and fell before my eyes, and thanks to television and the internet, I viewed many historical events of the last half-century.
    I was fortunate to be born with a natural ability to sketch and draw that developed into a deep appreciation of the arts. Eventually I became a draftsman and later a computer animator and videographer--my career and niche in life. This interest in art also led me to relationships with people, one in particular, who had a great influence on my life. He was a good friend through the years as well as helping me through the recent dark times of the last days. Thank you, S____. One is never too old to meet new friends, and I have had the great good fortune to meet such a true and loyal friend during the middle years of my life. Thank you, P___. There are many others, too numerous to mention, that I wish I had space to acknowledge. From friendships developed in my formative teenage years to various co-workers to fellow sailors that enjoy the sport of sailing at the Massabesic Yacht Club, all have influenced my life. If I mention a few I leave out dozens. You know who you are.
    It's been said that in life, a man who has friends is a success. I believe this is true and that I have died a very rich man.

    Thank you for sharing
    The posts above have made me cry and laugh. I don't think I will ever forget these posts.

    I am thankful to have loved the same man for 18 plus years, to have our wonderful girls who we struggled to have and waited for them to come into our lives.

    I am thankful for parents, siblings and close friends.

    I am thankful my own cancer is gone and has stayed away for 4 years. I am thankful for the health of my girls.

    I am thankful my husband has led a illness free life until now.

    I am thankful to the internet and this board, for the knowledge and human kindness I have found on here.

    I am most thankful to be able to laugh and love with all the people above.

    Thank you Chantal for starting this post. Wishing you and Lee a most Happy Thanksgiving.

    Love and strength to all.

    Jackie
  • sandy1943
    sandy1943 Member Posts: 824
    #8
    Hi, First I'm just thankful
    Hi, First I'm just thankful for life. Four years ago I didn't think I'd be around to see this day.
    I'm thankful for my faith. It's through God that My life has the most meaning.
    I praise Him for giving me my husband of almost 50 years.
    I'm thankful For our three healthy children , Son and daughters in laws.Eight grand children and two great grand children.
    I'm thankful for all my friends and family that have supported us and been there through our battle with the beast.
    Life has so much meaning to me now. Each day is beautiful. We never had any serious illnesses,but as you all know, in just a moment that can be taken away. Even so, i'm healthier now, than I was before I got EC.
    We are in the planning stage for a celebration party for our 50th anniverary ib Feb. This means so much to me--I'm not just celebrating the years but the fact that God is allowing me to remain here a little longer, to appreciate this life he has giving me. It is so good!
    I'm thankful to my Lord for loving me and holding my hand through this lifes journey and when the time comes, He will take me to spend eternity with Him.
    Sandra
  • chemosmoker
    chemosmoker Member Posts: 501
    #9
    Double Click!

    I love ALL of you.
  • chemosmoker
    chemosmoker Member Posts: 501
    #10
    Thanks Giving...
    First off, let me say a BIG heartfelt thank you to Chantal and Lee for starting such a priceless and wonderful post for the entire group, YOU two are two of the most giving, wonderful and gifted people have ever "met". I am MOST thankful for having met you both, Lee especially for me, here. I have gained a friend like one I never had and one that I strangely feel closer to than many I have known in person and been able to hug, hold and cry with in person for decades. Amazing site with amazing power.
    For this, I am truly grateful.

    I am grateful for my incredible, beautiful, intelligent, caring, wonderful, giving and selfless wife of 16 years.

    To Michelle:
    "A friend is someone who, upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer.” YOU have shown me this on a daily basis my love. My life would be an empty shell compared to what it has become were it not for having met you my love. I am thankful that my wife had the forethought and foresight to "SEE" that staying OUT of my decisions regarding treatment options and decisions was THE greatest gift that she could ever have given to me. I love you for this more every day. Thank you for teaching me things I thought I already knew. Thank you for teaching me the meaning of unconditional love and support, and a form of giving few human beings ever have the chance to feel and live.

    I am thankful for this site, with the many wonderful friends I have made here, for all the education I have gained here, for the strength all of you have given so freely to me again and again. The compliments are often undue as I am just another victim of this terrible disease. Here, we are ALL equals. Here, we are all together in this journey, just at different stages and places, but all feeling the same pain, joy, love, success and failure that EC has given us all.

    I am thankful for my parents, who gave me life, who raised me with integrity and thoughtfulness, caring, compassion and love. I was gifted with a great childhood and the support and love of a family not everyone has. I am grateful for a brother and sister who are willing to accept my choices, even if they are not in line with the ones that they wish I had made at times. The still supported and loved me through it all despite our differences, and as you all know with family and especially siblings, that is not always easy!

    I am thankful for the fact that I am STILL HERE, that Michelle and I are currently enjoying a VERY full and fulfilling life, day by day, sometimes minute by minute, and that we are making the very memories that will last a lifetime, even if it is not mine. I am thankful for the true love that Michelle has taught me how to receive. I wake up every day aware that I am so truly blessed to be here, to be alive, to be breathing and to still be able to walk, eat, talk, hug Michelle, cry, go to the bathroom without assistance (so far), make decisions for myself, live free of pain for the most part, and sit here typing on a netbook while I am free t think and share my own thoughts and feelings with a group as diverse and wonderful as all of you.

    I am thankful that I have been given the gift of 43 GLORIOUS years on the beautiful planet, filled with angry, loving, hateful, giving, special, ordinary, incredible and often confusing as hell human beings; many of which I am honored to call my friends. The beauty of the trees in fall colors, green in spring colors, deep green in the heat of summer, and white when covered in snow during the winter. We live on the most beautiful world imaginable, perhaps because we have known nothing else, but I believe it is the most beautiful thing God has even made.

    I would not change one single aspect or event in my life, given the chance to do so. I realize that it has taken every single mistake, experience, pain, hurt, joy, love, loss and all that goes with it to make me WHO I am today and to be where I am today. I would not want things any other way.

    While I wish more than anything else in life to be able to STAY here with all of you, and especially with MY LOVE, Michelle; to have the golden years we had planned together, to smell my Michelle, to hold her, to feel her in my arms, to make love, to know her so intimately that we need only look in to each others eyes and not even speak a word and know, really know, where we are and how much we love each other equally. The strength of my love cannot possibly be squelched by this cancer, by death, by anything; any force of nature. I know in my heart that my love for her, our love, is much much much more powerful than even death. This I KNOW. I feel this in the very core of my being so I have faith that our love WILL carry on long beyond either of us leaving our physical bodies.

    I am thankful for our children. The gift of bringing life in to this world, with someone I love so intensely is the single most beautiful, indescribable, powerful and moving experience I have ever had, second only to the love and connection between Michelle and I, that made them possible and gave them life in the first place.

    Every day brings the promise of new memories and a new day to hold the children, to hold Michelle, to make new memories and share past experiences and good times and old memories alike.

    We are both keenly aware that THIS it the time we have been given, a HUGE gift, this time together to wrap up loose ends, to do the things we can still do, to take the chances that others hesitate on out of fear.

    I am thankful that this horrible disease has completely removed FEAR from my vocabulary and the list of forces that has had control over my choices or decisions as it held in times past. It is truly a gift to realize that pride, fear, anger, and resentment are no longer powerful forces but are instead wastes of time, and I simply no longer have time for them. I do not miss them! They no longer have any power in my life, and for that, I AM truly thankful.

    I am thankful that WE have been given the gift of financial stability without either of us having to work, that we may spend every waking moment making the many memories I have spoken of already. To have TIME, when time has become the most precious of our commodities, and to be able to spend ALL of that time, doing what we have learned is truly important, together, with our children, our friends (on here especially), or families, and alone with each other. WE are truly blessed.

    I am sure I am leaving out so many things. I must wrap this up as it is also a joy to read others posts as i have learned that I have a lot to learn, and for that, I am truly thankful. This disease had made me VERY teachable. That is a gift.

    ALL OF YOU ARE MY TRUE FRIENDS:
    “A friend is a hand that is always holding yours, no matter how close or far apart you may be. A friend is someone who is always there and will always, always care. A friend is a feeling of forever in the heart.”

    For my friend Lee;
    "One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.”

    With ALL of my love and ALL of my heart (and ALL CAPS for LEE) I wish you the best Thanksgiving now, or in November should we each make it until then, God willing.
    God bless you all. I love you.

    -Eric

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