On Edge

arndog64
arndog64 Member Posts: 537
in Head and Neck Cancer #1
My husband is very tense these days. The littlest things are aggravating him. It started about 2-3 days after he got the all clear. I guess everything is finally catching up to him. I told him to go to his GP and see what they can give him. He is no fun right now.

Comments

  • luv4lacrosse
    luv4lacrosse Member Posts: 1,410 Member
    #2
    I CAN RELATE
    I can relate. It took me awhile to feel comfortable and to get back to living life as normal even with the several "all clears" I had received. I found that the busier i could stay, the better I felt, and the less I allowed cancer to be a part of my day.

    Now here I am with my latest worry, (swollen gum / tissue in the back of my mouth) allowing cancer to be the forefront of my day.

    Have him go see a Psyciatrist and even explore some meds to try to keep him even keel. To a certian extent, we all will be looking over our shoulders for the rest of our lives.The key is to try to keep it in perspective and try to control what you have control over, and the rest will take care of it's self.

    Best!!

    Mike
  • olybee
    olybee Member Posts: 85
    #3
    luv4lacrosse said:

    I CAN RELATE
    I can relate. It took me awhile to feel comfortable and to get back to living life as normal even with the several "all clears" I had received. I found that the busier i could stay, the better I felt, and the less I allowed cancer to be a part of my day.

    Now here I am with my latest worry, (swollen gum / tissue in the back of my mouth) allowing cancer to be the forefront of my day.

    Have him go see a Psyciatrist and even explore some meds to try to keep him even keel. To a certian extent, we all will be looking over our shoulders for the rest of our lives.The key is to try to keep it in perspective and try to control what you have control over, and the rest will take care of it's self.

    Best!!

    Mike

    I can relate too
    My husband has been the same way lately, and I just go along for the ride, I guess. I cannot imagine what it feels like to be the patient, though, so I respect every emotion they show us.
    As the spouse, I know you need to have away time too, though. I HATE to go to work and worry about leaving him, but I think it helps both of us for me to leave the house and let him be as normal as possible. Hopefully we can all get through this and live for a long time together, right?
    I just wanted to let you know, you're not in this alone, and neither is he. Take care - both of you!
  • arndog64
    arndog64 Member Posts: 537
    #4
    olybee said:

    I can relate too
    My husband has been the same way lately, and I just go along for the ride, I guess. I cannot imagine what it feels like to be the patient, though, so I respect every emotion they show us.
    As the spouse, I know you need to have away time too, though. I HATE to go to work and worry about leaving him, but I think it helps both of us for me to leave the house and let him be as normal as possible. Hopefully we can all get through this and live for a long time together, right?
    I just wanted to let you know, you're not in this alone, and neither is he. Take care - both of you!

    Thanks Olybee. He went to
    Thanks Olybee. He went to the doctor today and they gave him something.
  • Greend
    Greend Member Posts: 678
    #5
    luv4lacrosse said:

    I CAN RELATE
    I can relate. It took me awhile to feel comfortable and to get back to living life as normal even with the several "all clears" I had received. I found that the busier i could stay, the better I felt, and the less I allowed cancer to be a part of my day.

    Now here I am with my latest worry, (swollen gum / tissue in the back of my mouth) allowing cancer to be the forefront of my day.

    Have him go see a Psyciatrist and even explore some meds to try to keep him even keel. To a certian extent, we all will be looking over our shoulders for the rest of our lives.The key is to try to keep it in perspective and try to control what you have control over, and the rest will take care of it's self.

    Best!!

    Mike

    Time
    I guarantee that as time progresses with "all clears" the stress and constant worry will subside. I recall it seemed to happen sooner than I expected when life almost returned to normal. Yes I was a grouch, pissed off because I'd been hit with the "C" and didn't really know what to do about it. I guess being a single dad helped because I didn't have a spouse to take the brunt of my nastiness and two teen aged boys just ignored me anyway :>). I too took anti-depressants until one day I just decided I didn't need them.

    Now I'm a sexy, pleasant, handsome.... oh well. It will get better.
  • arndog64
    arndog64 Member Posts: 537
    #6
    Greend said:

    Time
    I guarantee that as time progresses with "all clears" the stress and constant worry will subside. I recall it seemed to happen sooner than I expected when life almost returned to normal. Yes I was a grouch, pissed off because I'd been hit with the "C" and didn't really know what to do about it. I guess being a single dad helped because I didn't have a spouse to take the brunt of my nastiness and two teen aged boys just ignored me anyway :>). I too took anti-depressants until one day I just decided I didn't need them.

    Now I'm a sexy, pleasant, handsome.... oh well. It will get better.

    He has decided to see a
    He has decided to see a psychologist to sort out all his thoughts.
  • jim and i
    jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
    #7
    arndog64 said:

    He has decided to see a
    He has decided to see a psychologist to sort out all his thoughts.

    Good decision
    The worse thing we can do is hold our anger and emotions in because it just comes out in physical and emotional ways any how. I too get upset and depressed when Jim gets aggrevated and angry. It is so hard to go through when they are not usually that way. I am so happy he has decided to go talk things out. I wish Jim would agree to some counseling. You also need time away and someone to talk to about your feelings. I know it is easier said than done. I depend on this site too much myself. We had to move at diagnosis and I do not know any in this area. I do have a sister in Ohio whose husband had lung cancer and I call her often. I guess what I am saying is get out with friends and take care of yourself. I am praying for you both.

    Debbie
  • buzz99
    buzz99 Member Posts: 404
    #8
    arndog64 said:

    He has decided to see a
    He has decided to see a psychologist to sort out all his thoughts.

    On edge
    I would assume that your hubby is on an antidepressant. The medication may take 3 weeks to start working. In the meantime, it is great that he is going to see a psychologist. Most guys are not good at expressing their feelings. Glad to hear you got the all clear.
    Karen
  • connieprice1
    connieprice1 Member Posts: 300 Member
    #9
    To Mrs. Arndog, I am glad
    To Mrs. Arndog, I am glad you brought this up, I thought I was the only one catching a lot of hell sometimes. I guess it is normal although I don't know "why". Connie seems to get agitated more than ever but I just take it with a grain of salt. I think everyone here can't help but miss the time before C. when we weren't looking over our shoulders all the time. I guess we should just be glad we still have our spouses and leave it at that. Wishing ya'll the best, Homer P.S. How about giving us a 1st name or nick name, I was trying to remember your name, then I snapped that you have never posted it.

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