Pity Party

Pity Pot
I'm sitting here thinking it's soooo good to find people here who know EXACTLY what's going on in our heads. Somedays I'm on top of the world, I don't give any of the past horror a thought (L nephrectomy 6-2-11) Other days I'm lower than low. I watch t.v. and get so angry/depressed with having to hear the word cancer mentioned so much. I swear before I was diagnosed I never paid much attention to how much that word is thrown into every magazine, newspaper and into t.v. And that new movie 50/50? I believe, infuriates the dickens out of me...That jerk shaves his head pretending to have cancer to attract women???!!!! Okay, off the soapbox for me..But I do feel as though my family wants to sweep this all under the rug and behave like cheerleaders, cheering that "they got it all Mom, why are you worried?" Well, I know they are in denial, and want to go on pretending like this never happened, but it did, and I'm still not over it....so yes, somedays when I'm all alone I throw myself a big Pity Party, and when It's over, I distract myself, get busy with something, anything, and go on. No one can truly understand what this is like unless they know first hand. It's scary, life altering and just plain horrible. I pray to God everyday, my faith I believe keeps me going. I also allow myself time for the blues along with "old me" happy, silly times. I'm told it takes time to heal both mentally as well as physically. Being an impatient person, it might make this process a little more difficult. So, anytime you want to vent, and have someone to lean on, I'm here, we all are...Have a GREAT day :-)