Newly Diagnosed

shelfish
shelfish Member Posts: 18
in Ovarian Cancer #1
My mother-in-law was just diagnosed with stage IV ovarian cancer. What a roller coaster ride this has been. I am closer to her then my own mom. I can't imagine our lives without her. She is 70 years old and is very healthy otherwise. Her spirits are great, she is a strong Christian women who is not afraid of dying. Her mother died at 62 of ovarian cancer. My mother in-law waited way too long, has had severe symptoms for about a month but didn't tell anyone. She meets with the chemo counseler tomorrow. She has mentioned not even taking chemo. How can I tell her there is hope??

Comments

  • Tethys41
    Tethys41 Member Posts: 1,382 Member
    #2
    Hope
    There are endless examples of hope and survival on this board. But from your description, it isn't really clear where your mother-in-law is emotionally. From what you say, it sounds like she fears the treatment more than the disease itself. Her position about possibly not having chemo could be based on what she saw her mother go through. They have made improvements in handling the side effects from chemo since her mother received it, if she did. But, frankly, there are still side effects. Everyone is different, however, and the extent of the side effects can't be predicted. On the other hand, allowing this disease to go unchecked, from what I hear, is a pretty miserable option. If she fears the treatment, maybe the couselor can help reduce her concerns. I have seen many different women address cancer in many different ways. It truly is a personal thing and the ultimate choice is hers. You can help her with information, but in the end respecting her choice is the best support you can offer.
  • jbeans888
    jbeans888 Member Posts: 313
    #3
    Welcome to the board. I am
    Welcome to the board. I am sorry you and your family have to deal with this. I agree that you have to respect a person's wishes, but make sure there not from fear. Treatment can be rough but it can also put a person in remission. The first time I had chemo I cried so much because I was afraid, afraid of the unknown. But you have to take it as it comes. Show her she can be a teal warrior. We are all here to support.
  • lauripiper
    lauripiper Member Posts: 28
    #4
    jbeans888 said:

    Welcome to the board. I am
    Welcome to the board. I am sorry you and your family have to deal with this. I agree that you have to respect a person's wishes, but make sure there not from fear. Treatment can be rough but it can also put a person in remission. The first time I had chemo I cried so much because I was afraid, afraid of the unknown. But you have to take it as it comes. Show her she can be a teal warrior. We are all here to support.

    chemo
    There is so much fear around cancer and chemo. While it's not fun it is not the monster that we are all afraid of. They are drugs to help with the side effects and it is definitely worth doing. I have a friend whose mom is in her 70's and was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer 4 years ago. Her first dr. told her there was no hope and wanted to send her home. My friend refused to listen and took her mother to another dr. 4 years later she is still here and got to see her daughter get married and is waiting for her first grandchild to be born. She is not cured and has been in treatment for the last 4 years but she is still here and still fighting. Don't let your mother-in-law listen to the fear before she even begins to fight.
  • AnneBehymer
    AnneBehymer Member Posts: 738 Member
    #5
    There is hope
    As strong christians we know through anything there is hope. I am 45 I did not know the signs of ovarian cancer. I don't know when I got it but I believe it has been for a long while since I am now stage four. I was sick for three months and went to urgent care for times and my doctor oncer I was having trouble breathing and felt like crap. No one caught what was really going on they gave me medication and sent me home. One night I said screw it I am going to the ER that was on June 4th 2011. When I got to the ER they did a cat scan of my chest I had fluid on both of my lungs and it was not because of my lungs. They did catch part of my stomach in the catscan and found it full of tumors. My CA125 was 2000 I did not know what that ment or what normal range was (0-21). I was told two days later that I have ovarian cancer and needed to have surgery and start chemo ASAP. I started chemo on July 28th every 21 days. By treatment three I was/am in remissions. There is hope and will always be hope if we just believe and trust our heavenly father. Tell you mom not to give up, come to this site as much as you want to get support but incorage your mom to come to this site it will help her also. I felt alone and in the dark when I was told about the cancer. I do have my mom and dad who are walking the walk with me but they can only help so much because the also have never delt with cancer either. So this site brought light into my life again I have gotten infor and support that I thought I would never find anywhere. Please come back and get mom to come also. You and your family but mostly your mom are in my prays.

    Anne
  • shelfish
    shelfish Member Posts: 18
    #6
    Thanks for all the support.
    Thanks for all the support. At first we were shocked and held out hope that maybe it wasn't cancer. It took 4 days to diagnose (seeemed like FOREVER). Then we thought the worst, that we wouldn't even bring her home from the hospital. Now from what I read from everyone here, this is just the beginning of this new chapter in our lives. I told my husband last night that we are not giving up. It is her choice to go ahead with chemo but I really want to encourage her to fight. We live less than a mile apart so we will be there with her every step of the way.
  • Cafewoman53
    Cafewoman53 Member Posts: 735 Member
    #7
    shelfish said:

    Thanks for all the support.
    Thanks for all the support. At first we were shocked and held out hope that maybe it wasn't cancer. It took 4 days to diagnose (seeemed like FOREVER). Then we thought the worst, that we wouldn't even bring her home from the hospital. Now from what I read from everyone here, this is just the beginning of this new chapter in our lives. I told my husband last night that we are not giving up. It is her choice to go ahead with chemo but I really want to encourage her to fight. We live less than a mile apart so we will be there with her every step of the way.

    If she could come here
    If she could come here she will meet women at various stages with this disease. 70 is too young to give up. It is her decision but with your love and support she will do what is best for her. Welcome to this site but sorry you have the need to come here. Good luck
    Colleen
  • carolyn45
    carolyn45 Member Posts: 100
    #8
    No way is this the end.
    My mother had ovarian cancer in the early 1980's and went through a year of HORRID chemo, then radiation. She had a good year and a half but developed leukemia from the radiation and died of that. When I was diagnosed Stage 3 C, all I knew was that I had an abdomen full of cancer. I also am not afraid of dying and wasn't sure I would opt for chemo, given what my Mom went through. My oncologist was fabulous. He told me how in the last 5 years the treatment for this disease has been revolutionized. He also told me my good days were DONE unless I did the chemo and that it would for SURE put me into remission. He couldn't say for how long, but I would definitely have good weeks, months, even years. I responded extremely well to the chemo, and I'm SOOO glad I did it. Hopefully your dear mother-in-law will get the same counseling and go for it. I'll be praying for her--and you--as you begin this journey.
  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    #9
    carolyn45 said:

    No way is this the end.
    My mother had ovarian cancer in the early 1980's and went through a year of HORRID chemo, then radiation. She had a good year and a half but developed leukemia from the radiation and died of that. When I was diagnosed Stage 3 C, all I knew was that I had an abdomen full of cancer. I also am not afraid of dying and wasn't sure I would opt for chemo, given what my Mom went through. My oncologist was fabulous. He told me how in the last 5 years the treatment for this disease has been revolutionized. He also told me my good days were DONE unless I did the chemo and that it would for SURE put me into remission. He couldn't say for how long, but I would definitely have good weeks, months, even years. I responded extremely well to the chemo, and I'm SOOO glad I did it. Hopefully your dear mother-in-law will get the same counseling and go for it. I'll be praying for her--and you--as you begin this journey.

    Tell her to put on her big girl teal panties
    AND FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!.There is always hope. Bring her here to this page and let her read some posts. I think she will change her mind. Good luck...val
  • shelfish
    shelfish Member Posts: 18
    #10
    Great news!! My
    Great news!! My mother-in-law is getting her first round of chemo today! The chemo nurse came in and was just wonderful to talk to. She didn't sugar coat anything but said just what you all have said. She has no chance of any decent days with no chemo. Chemo will shrink this and she will feel better, even if just for a while. She is in stage 4 because they found cells beyond the abdomen, so they haven't mentioned remission. They told her she will lose her hair and she will be sick. She is very thin so they told her she has to eat or the chemo will eat her. I will definately tell her about this site. My heart goes out to each and every one of you. This is community that is unfortunate to be a part of but a blessing to have so much support. May God be with all of you in this journey.

    I do have a question, they mentioned chemo once a day every 21 days then hysterectomy surgery. I thought I saw where some of you had chemo everyday for a week. What is the standard?
  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338
    #11
    shelfish said:

    Great news!! My
    Great news!! My mother-in-law is getting her first round of chemo today! The chemo nurse came in and was just wonderful to talk to. She didn't sugar coat anything but said just what you all have said. She has no chance of any decent days with no chemo. Chemo will shrink this and she will feel better, even if just for a while. She is in stage 4 because they found cells beyond the abdomen, so they haven't mentioned remission. They told her she will lose her hair and she will be sick. She is very thin so they told her she has to eat or the chemo will eat her. I will definately tell her about this site. My heart goes out to each and every one of you. This is community that is unfortunate to be a part of but a blessing to have so much support. May God be with all of you in this journey.

    I do have a question, they mentioned chemo once a day every 21 days then hysterectomy surgery. I thought I saw where some of you had chemo everyday for a week. What is the standard?

    I'm so pleased!
    I think it's quite common for newly diagnosed patients to say that won't do chemo. It's a scary prospect and you're still reeling from the word "cancer". There are many different chemos and they are given at different time periods. We're here for you anytime you have questions and you'll find that those very chemo nurses will also be there for you both every step of the way.
    (((HUGS))) Maria
  • lulu1010
    lulu1010 Member Posts: 367
    #12
    Mwee said:

    I'm so pleased!
    I think it's quite common for newly diagnosed patients to say that won't do chemo. It's a scary prospect and you're still reeling from the word "cancer". There are many different chemos and they are given at different time periods. We're here for you anytime you have questions and you'll find that those very chemo nurses will also be there for you both every step of the way.
    (((HUGS))) Maria

    Never give up!
    It is a new day in medicine! I was sick for 14 months before I was diagnosed 3-C. I had the fast growing of the deadliest of GYN cancers and I was not a 4 but yet in late stages. I also had chemo every 21 days for 4 rounds and then surgery and then 6 rounds of carbo/taxol. I finished chemo 4 months ago. In the last few weeks I helped my daughter move from DC to Pittsburgh and then just this last two weeks made two 12 hour trips to SC to help my daughter move from Ohio. I worked yesterday standing all day for my job and plan to work tomorrow as well. When I look at myself now from what condition I was in one year ago I cant believe. Yes, I have been blessed and it may not last but it was sure worth the try! Yes, there were days with chemo I could hardly stand up but you should have seen me carrying boxes up the steps this year! Never never give up....the medical team and your teal sisters will get you thru this!
  • sarahb74
    sarahb74 Member Posts: 81 Member
    #13
    shelfish said:

    Great news!! My
    Great news!! My mother-in-law is getting her first round of chemo today! The chemo nurse came in and was just wonderful to talk to. She didn't sugar coat anything but said just what you all have said. She has no chance of any decent days with no chemo. Chemo will shrink this and she will feel better, even if just for a while. She is in stage 4 because they found cells beyond the abdomen, so they haven't mentioned remission. They told her she will lose her hair and she will be sick. She is very thin so they told her she has to eat or the chemo will eat her. I will definately tell her about this site. My heart goes out to each and every one of you. This is community that is unfortunate to be a part of but a blessing to have so much support. May God be with all of you in this journey.

    I do have a question, they mentioned chemo once a day every 21 days then hysterectomy surgery. I thought I saw where some of you had chemo everyday for a week. What is the standard?

    Stage 4
    I was dx stage 4 in May 2009 and after surgery and 7 infusions of chemo I went into remission for 12 wonderful months. Make sure she eats, she needs the strength to get her through the chemo. I lost a third of my body weight when I was first dx and my husband used to follow me about with milkshakes, ice cream, peanut butter, anything to fatten me up. If she gets too thin perhaps you can ask about supplemental protein food which you can get here (UK) on prescription. They gave me a sort of milkshake drink in bottles which didn't taste too good but has lots of calories.

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