Reeling from remarks of a surgeon

buzz99
buzz99 Member Posts: 404
in Head and Neck Cancer #1
Buzz was hospitalized for a week with an abcess in the side of his neck in addition to the return of his cancer. While there, a head/neck surgeon came in to see him. She is actually the one who did Buzz's right radical neck operation 10 years ago. She did an incision and drainage of the abcess by using a scapel then twisting it! Buzz just about came off the bed as she did not numb the area or give him pain medication. To add to his distress, she flatly told us that this cancer is slow growing and that Buzz would eventually need a tracheotomy and that the cancer would invade his jaw and he would live with pain for up to 3 years!!!!! Buzz said "I might as well kill myself now". I can't believe how cruel she was. Is there anyone out there who has had a similar experience and has anyone had pain from the cancer in the jaw? For now, Buzz is ineligible for a clinical trial because of the infection. So we cannot proceed with treatment until the infection is cleared up. Oh, and because of the swelling in his throat, he failed the swallow evaluation and so is back on 100% tube feedings. Back to square one. Karen

Comments

  • arndog64
    arndog64 Member Posts: 537
    #2
    Karen, that is a lot to take
    Karen, that is a lot to take in at one time. Sounds like she needs Bed Side Manner 101.
    I will praying for you both. Take care my friend.. Sending hugs your way.
  • ratface
    ratface Member Posts: 1,337 Member
    #3
    arndog64 said:

    Karen, that is a lot to take
    Karen, that is a lot to take in at one time. Sounds like she needs Bed Side Manner 101.
    I will praying for you both. Take care my friend.. Sending hugs your way.

    A group member
    of my local SPHONC is on her second titanium jaw reconstruction as she broke her first one and I'm guessing it was her pitbull tenacity that broke it. Wishing you and Buzz the best with that infection and a speedy trip home from the hospital.
  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #4
    first things first
    No anesthetic was used? That is barbaric. There was no reason for this to happen. Was there another hospital staff member in the room?

    A surgeon is a surgeon - this was not an oncologist, right? I believe you should wait and talk to your oncologist and definitely don't use this surgeon for anything Buzz needs.

    Please report this doctor to the hospital board.

    Aaack. I hate this for y'all.
  • Goalie
    Goalie Member Posts: 184
    #5
    Noellesmom said:

    first things first
    No anesthetic was used? That is barbaric. There was no reason for this to happen. Was there another hospital staff member in the room?

    A surgeon is a surgeon - this was not an oncologist, right? I believe you should wait and talk to your oncologist and definitely don't use this surgeon for anything Buzz needs.

    Please report this doctor to the hospital board.

    Aaack. I hate this for y'all.

    If only...
    she had let you have the scalpel, you would have known what to do with it at that point...

    But yes, this was unconscionable.
  • nwasen
    nwasen Member Posts: 235 Member
    #6
    outraged
    Karen
    I do not know you nor Buzz and this has made my blood pressure rise. I would call the head of the hospital today and also write him or her about this outrage.
    This surgeon had better hope they never have to endure such treatment.
    My thoughts go to you both for a better outcome than what was presented to Buzz.
    warmly
    Nancy aka toughcookie
  • Pumakitty
    Pumakitty Member Posts: 652
    #7
    I am so sorry
    This is horrible. My dad also is going through pain from the cancer in his tongue and node in his neck. The ENT we went to told him there was nothing they could do and dad needed to go home and the cancer will kill him in a year. I would call the talk to someone about this person.

    I hope Buzz's gets some relief soon, please tell him to keep fighting.


    Kathy
  • Dav1965
    Dav1965 Member Posts: 132
    #8
    Pumakitty said:

    I am so sorry
    This is horrible. My dad also is going through pain from the cancer in his tongue and node in his neck. The ENT we went to told him there was nothing they could do and dad needed to go home and the cancer will kill him in a year. I would call the talk to someone about this person.

    I hope Buzz's gets some relief soon, please tell him to keep fighting.


    Kathy

    My doctors were great
    I cant come up with a bad thing about my doctor except he is in his late 30s. He can not look you in the eye and tell you that you are probaly going to die. When ever i ask my doctor something tough he looks down and awnsers it. He has a hard time dealing with bad news.

    If you are close to NC i would visit UNC Chapel Hill. I two had stage 4 tongue cancer with double neck dissection. Cancer in 8 nodes. They removed more. No cancer on right side. I had chemo and rads also. Cisplatin kicked my butt. Chemo ate my jaw bone and i have a cyst that they can not remove because my jaw is in such bad shape. They removed 95% of my tongue and replaced it with my thigh they were going to do several surgeries to shape my tongue so i could eat and talk better. After the first surgery my jaw hurt so bad thats when they discovered the bone deteriation. Now i eat soft foods and drink a gallon of milk a day.
  • lilwriter
    lilwriter Member Posts: 13
    #9
    OMG that is horrendous.
    OMG that is horrendous. Report them and even write a personal letter to the head of the hospital, speak from the heart because I don't believe the physician you saw should be able to get away with this kind of treatment.

    Prayers are with you.
  • jim and i
    jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
    #10
    outrage is too mild for what happened
    Karen,

    Please report this woman, how horrible. I am praying for the infection to clear quickly so that Buzz can start the trial. Talk to the oncologist about the pain and don't ever let that woman touch Buzz again. Sending you both a big hug.

    Debbie
  • palmyrafan
    palmyrafan Member Posts: 396
    #11
    Noellesmom said:

    first things first
    No anesthetic was used? That is barbaric. There was no reason for this to happen. Was there another hospital staff member in the room?

    A surgeon is a surgeon - this was not an oncologist, right? I believe you should wait and talk to your oncologist and definitely don't use this surgeon for anything Buzz needs.

    Please report this doctor to the hospital board.

    Aaack. I hate this for y'all.

    I agree that this "lady" (and I use the term loosely here) should be reported to the Medical Board, the Hospital/Clinic Board of Trustees where she practices (another term used loosely) and you may want to consider a lawsuit.

    She definitely needs Bedside 101 to remind her that she is NOT God and that she doesn't decide what to do about treatment; you and your husband do.

    I wish I could say that her actions were isolated, but unfortunately they are not. However, she is in the minority of inept doctors. She should be sanctioned and I would seriously consider hiring an attorney, if for nothing for than causing your beloved husband undue stress, pain, anguish and emotional trauma and I am someone who abhors suing anyone.

    Please dont' let her actions and words keep you and your husband from getting the treatment he needs.

    You both continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.


    Teresa
  • Jan Trinks
    Jan Trinks Member Posts: 477
    #12
    Insensitive
    Karen:

    I can't believe the surgeon was that rude and insensitive! Fortunately, we never dealt with any of that type of personality with Charlie's. So sorry y'all had to endure that!
    Prayers continuing! God Bless!

    Jan (Basketcase)
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #13
    Jan Trinks said:

    Insensitive
    Karen:

    I can't believe the surgeon was that rude and insensitive! Fortunately, we never dealt with any of that type of personality with Charlie's. So sorry y'all had to endure that!
    Prayers continuing! God Bless!

    Jan (Basketcase)

    Hi Karen

    It is sad but some doctor’s think because we have cancer we don’t have feeling; sorry you had to go through all of that pain. Next time bring a hammer with you and when the doctor ask what’s the hammer is for, tell them for anyone who gives me pain.

    Keeping you both in prayer
    Hondo
  • Pam M
    Pam M Member Posts: 2,196
    #14
    Wow
    I'm so sorry you two had to be exposed to that woman. To save work for the site's censor, I won't share with you what I called her here at home - but I will admit, it was VERY rude. I hope the infection clears up quickly, so Buzz can start the trial. Hopefully, once the infection is tackled, the swelling will ease, and he can eat again. Do well.
  • pattyanny
    pattyanny Member Posts: 544
    #15
    No words!
    I have no words to explain this persons actions and attitude. My God! She should not be in her profession! I am so sorry you and your husband had to be subjected to this barbaric treatment and surgery! I left my first Oncologist for less! Please don't let her words become a part of your beliefs. Find someone else, and believe that there are other options. Buzz does not have an expiration date, and I will pray his infection clears, and healing will begin. Love & Prayers, Patty
  • connieprice1
    connieprice1 Member Posts: 300 Member
    #16
    Karen, She should know that
    Karen, She should know that Buzz has been through enough already and encourage him any way she could to continue to fight with everything he's got. There had to be something positive she could have told Buzz. It does seem that some doctors consider patients that are older a waste of treatment and no one has a right to think that way. I hope and pray God will intervene and miracles do happen. May God Bless you both, Homer & Connie
  • tonyb
    tonyb Member Posts: 69
    #17
    Miss karen.....
    i know that surgion seemed really callious. That was terrible.
    Not to defend her, in any way. What she said should never be said that way.
    Though i think some of the better cancer surgeons may be like that. they have to become really indifferent in order to cope with what they see every day. But, To take that kind of attitude with a patient is just inexcusable. She has to know that she can't speak that kind of garbage to the patient. I don't know you or your husband, but i have some idea of the long tough ordeal you folks have been through, just by your postings here. You both deserve to be treated with respect, not like that. My heart goes out to you, I will pray for you and mister Buzz, and i will pray that the surgeon gets a clue, before someone tattoos one on her behind. Tony
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #18
    tonyb said:

    Miss karen.....
    i know that surgion seemed really callious. That was terrible.
    Not to defend her, in any way. What she said should never be said that way.
    Though i think some of the better cancer surgeons may be like that. they have to become really indifferent in order to cope with what they see every day. But, To take that kind of attitude with a patient is just inexcusable. She has to know that she can't speak that kind of garbage to the patient. I don't know you or your husband, but i have some idea of the long tough ordeal you folks have been through, just by your postings here. You both deserve to be treated with respect, not like that. My heart goes out to you, I will pray for you and mister Buzz, and i will pray that the surgeon gets a clue, before someone tattoos one on her behind. Tony

    Doctors
    I wish sometimes that our doctor's could feel and little of what we feel so when they are treating us they would remember that we are human and not ginny pigs.

    Hondo
  • Jan Trinks
    Jan Trinks Member Posts: 477
    #19
    Hondo said:

    Doctors
    I wish sometimes that our doctor's could feel and little of what we feel so when they are treating us they would remember that we are human and not ginny pigs.

    Hondo

    Just had to add this!
    Karen:

    I agree with Hondo and count my blessings as Charlie's onc. and rad onc. were so personable as well as their staffs. As a matter of fact, when I talked to his onc. after Charlie passed away, I told I didn't know how they did what they do. He told me he didn't know if rewarding was actually the word to use but than when people come to them they are looking for hope and that's what he tries to do give them hope and if they are successful then and give people hope then he said there was satisfaction in that. As a matter of fact when Charlie asked him how long and he said usually you're looking at weeks or months but then quickly said, neither did he think it was a situation where we throw our hands up and say forget it there's nothing else we can do, because there are things we can do. Well, those things they could do did kept Charlie's pain to a medium those last few weeks so he wasn't constantly in pain and there were some precious moments spent together. I for one am so thankful we were blessed with the personable caring doc and their staffs that we were. True, they see this day in and day out and they have to be able to cope with it well to do their jobs but that doesn't mean they can or should forget that cancer patients are human beings and not ginny pigs like Hondo said! So sorry you had to endure all that on top of everything else and maybe the surgeon felt like she had to say it but she certainly could have done it in a lot better way and I do hope you reported her; I think she needs to attend some sensitivity classes. Praying for you and Buzz! God Bless!

    Jan (Basketcase)

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