Just a needed vent here...

ddpekks Member Posts: 162
Guess I'm really feeling sorry for myself, so I need to say it out loud so I can build a bridge and get over it.

Dx 12/30/10, on June 23 was husband's surgery, colon resection, rectum removal. He is in the throws of second round of chemo and will be till December. For Labor Day weekend we had planned a short 1hr trip to friends that were so looking forward to being able to accomodate us and get us out of house for a couple of days. Don had been feeling good and we had gone for longer rides than that, so we were confident he was ready. On the morning we were to leave he got up w/pinched nerve in his hip (unrelated to anything). I knew we couldn't go and the dissappointment just about killed me. I was at the point where, if I didn't get out of that house, I would go dog mad. BUT, I sucked it up, moved on.

Fast forward to me making plans with D-I-L in GA to take a road trip 1st week in Oct. to see kids in NC that I haven't seen since 12/28/10 when daughter was diagnosed w/breast cancer. Son in GA was coming down to stay with Dad while we made the trip to NC. Wellll, seems that he is not far enough along in the healing process to be left my me. I'm still packing his rectum morning and night and this is something that son (or Dad, for that matter) is not comfortable in taking over. (Not to mention that I'm not comfortable in delegating that task).

So, yesterday the reality set in that plans had to be changed. I called NC and delivered the bad news (tears AND understanding by all). I then called GA and made arrangements for son & D-I-L to come for weekend, help w/some chores and repairs that are needed and D-I-L suggested we take a spa day, at least.

My heart aches because I have not seen my Julia since days after her diagnosis, but her pain is just as strong, because she has not been able to be here. We have supported each other w/phone calls 2-3 times a week and love letters through the mail, but some times you just need to physically touch each other. God has a plan for us, we are sure, but in the mean time, wow, it is hard!

So, that's my vent. I'm putting my big girl panties on and sucking it up as I write......

Thanks for listening!


  • jimwins
    jimwins Member Posts: 2,107
    Sorry the plans didn't work out.
    Just make sure the elastic on those panties is not too tight, D ;).
    Sorry the plans didn't work out.

    If you and NC both have computers and internet service, you could try webcam using
    skype, google voice or many other things out there. Googlevoice is still free
    but that will probably change in 2012. It's not the same as being in person
    but I've been using it with friends - particularly whem I'm in the hospital
    and it is closer to being in person - at least you get to see them,
    body language, expressions, etc. plus you can get others involved (kids) as well.
    Just an idea.

    Do the spa day with your D-I-L, you deserve it :).

  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    tears of frustration
    Oh, D, I know that feeling of frustration. On the one hand we know nobody can take our place, but on the other hand you gotta breathe free air sometimes. When my plans have fallen apart because of my caregiver duties, I cried tears of frustration -- aarrgghh!

    Yes, go to the spa! Take any chance for short-distance getaways. It will save your sanity. I'm three years in as caregiver to my mom, and when I get really strung out I splurge on a massage. Worth every penny.