Callaloo celebrates 18 months anniversary

18th months since they found this tumor, and I'm still going strong, clean CT and MRI's to boot. Woo hoo!

Thanks to Barb again for prompting me to post. I want my posts to be little rays of hope for those battling stage IV. But I have to admit the last few weeks have not felt very hopeful to me. I've been plagued for at least a month with pain throughout my abdomen and sometimes radiating all up and down my spine. Well they can find no specific cause of the pain, and with the recent CT and MRI of my spine, we've ruled out metastasis to the spine, so I've really had nothing but good news lately. We started a new pain management regimen last Friday that seems to be working out and, most importantly, getting me some much needed sleep.

It' a combination of Oxcycontin every 12 hours, and Oxcycodone for breakthrough pain, plus Atavan to help with sleep, nausea, and whatever else is bothering me at the moment. So I'm feeling pretty good this weekend. I didn't accompany my husband on his climb of Middle Sister, but I did go canoeing yesterday and had a great time.

So I feel I can shine a bright ray of hope out there today. And sorry I can't do it every day.

The doctors seem pretty confident that the clean scans are a result of the Xeloda. They feel it's working so they want me to keep taking it. I was really hoping to stop once I got a clean scan, but, unfortunately, my docs say they it''s been their experience that the tumors come back once the chemo stops. I'm really getting to resent having to take these pills, but I guess I'll continue for now. Aside from the back and stomach pain, which seem to be under control, I just have to contend with painful feet that feel like I'm walking on hot coals sometimes. No so bad, really.

I can't help but look back on September a year ago. I had recovered completely (or as near as possible) from the radiation and chemo, I felt great, I visited friends and relatives in 4 different states, I returned to work full time, I vacationed in the Caribbean. I want another 6 months like that --- maybe this winter. I WILL take that chemo break, just not yet.

I think about you all, all the time, most of whom are struggling more than I am. I've read several posts that I wanted to reply to -- Lee's struggle with eating, those nagging hiccups, because I have the same problems, I don't have a lot of answers, but I should share what I know--- I just haven't had the energy, but now with the new pain meds, I'll try to do better.