my mother is giving up

lb
lb Member Posts: 6
in Ovarian Cancer #1
my mother was diagnosed nearly 2 years ago.she is 54. at the begging she was broken but after she had surgery her courage grove up and she believed she is going to be fine .we been true a lot of bad days and good days. chemo is working very good but in past few days she started to feel worse and we are going to see doctor 2moro..she is giving up .crying and in bad mood and i dont know how to make her feel better

Comments

  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    #2
    jb
    watching your Mom suffer must be horrible for you and you must feel helpless..but you are not. Your Mom needs you so much. Is the chemo making her feel worse?? Maybe an antidepressant would be a good idea for her in a low dose. I am on one and it helped me a lot. Give your Mom a big hug for me, I hope the dr can help her...val
  • carolenk
    carolenk Member Posts: 907 Member
    #3
    poopergirl14052 said:

    jb
    watching your Mom suffer must be horrible for you and you must feel helpless..but you are not. Your Mom needs you so much. Is the chemo making her feel worse?? Maybe an antidepressant would be a good idea for her in a low dose. I am on one and it helped me a lot. Give your Mom a big hug for me, I hope the dr can help her...val

    YES! An antidepressant is definitely needed!
    I totally agree with Val. Especially because I know that chemo depletes the neurotransmitter "serotonin" in the brain which causes depression. I am normally a really upbeat person and I would walk around the house crying for no reason at all for about a week after chemo. I am sure it was because my serotonin level had been depleted by the chemo. I was lucky enough to be able to bounce back on my own but many women need help.

    Don't let your mom suffer like this, when someone is in a depression, they cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel...take her to the doctor yourself if you have to. So many other survivors here have been helped by taking an antidepressant, I feel that it is worth a try for your mom.

    Unfortunately, it takes 2-3 weeks for the medicine to kick in so be patient and remind your mom that whatever she is going thru is only temporary. It will get better.

    (((hugs to both of you)))

    Carolen
  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    #4
    CHEMO IS CUMULATIVE
    So it's not unusual to feel progressively worse as treatments continue. It builds up in your body over time. Do they tell your Mom to drink lots of water after chemo to flush it through her system? As you can see by all the posts here, we've all experienced some kind of 'lows' throughout treatment and sometimes beyond. For me, it was always more difficult to stay 100% upbeat and positive when I was feeling yucky. So, anything you think will help your Mom to get through those 'moments' may give her some encouragement and strength. During the times that she's able (physically), have her stay occupied with uplifting things - does she have any hobbies? Does she like to read? How about exercise - even if she can't do much, a stroll around the block in the sunshine does wonders. In fact, if she has a patio, garden, or can even just sit outside for a while, soaking in some rays is very beneficial to our mood, not to mention producing Vitamin D for our immunities.

    I hope this all helps. Tell your mom to visit us here and maybe chatting with others going through the same thing will help her.

    (((HUGS))) & PRayers
    Monika
  • Cafewoman53
    Cafewoman53 Member Posts: 735 Member
    #5
    Sorry
    I'm sorry your Mom seems to be giving up but it may just be a temporary mood . This is a long battle and the cards are stacked against us but life is what we are fighting for so she might need an antidepressant for some help. Good luck
    Colleen
  • lb
    lb Member Posts: 6
    #6
    thanks to all..
    today we
    thanks to all..
    today we went to hospital to see doctor ...she got some fluids in her belly which needs to be drained and also a bit anaemic..dont understand why?chemo was working very well ,where the fluids came from ?
  • Tethys41
    Tethys41 Member Posts: 1,382 Member
    #7
    lb said:

    thanks to all..
    today we
    thanks to all..
    today we went to hospital to see doctor ...she got some fluids in her belly which needs to be drained and also a bit anaemic..dont understand why?chemo was working very well ,where the fluids came from ?

    Fluids
    lb,
    She can be producing fluids in her abdomen if her albumen protien level is too low. If the albumen gets low enough the tissues can no longer hold fluids and the fluids accumulate in the abdomen. This happened to me during my treatment, and I had to have 2 liters of fluid removed every three days for two months. Check her lab results for her albumen level. If it is too low, she needs to increase her protein intake either orally or by IV via TPN.
  • jbeans888
    jbeans888 Member Posts: 313
    #8
    Keep up the spirit
    I am sorry your mother is going thru a rough patch. Tell her she has to try do keep her chin up even when its down. I know its harder than it sounds but mental stability is very important. I am also on anti-depressants and they do help. The fluid could be ascites. I know that many women get it and it needs to be drained. Just wanted to say hi and welcome.
  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338
    #9
    Have you spoken with her ONC?
    I literally cried like a baby on my poor ONC's shoulder one appt. and he put me on a anti-depressant ASAP. I'm usually an optomistic person, but we can only take so much. My ONC is very concerned about his patient's attitude and is convinced that it helps with healing. I would speak to the chemo nurses also for I find they have a world of knowledge. Let us know how it's going.
    ((((HUGS)))) Maria
  • lb
    lb Member Posts: 6
    #10
    her fluids are finally
    her fluids are finally drained (7L) a lot, blood transfusion is done ,hopefully she can go home 2moro .she doesn't feel good in hospital because she cant speak good English.some nurses are not nice .few days ago i came to visit her and she was crying. 2 nurses were passing her and one was saying something to her and the other said Don't talk to her she doesn't understand English and they both started to laugh.its maid her really upset because she understand more than she can say and those girls dint realise that.her blood pressure is high and she is taking some medicine every morning.it took them 3 days to sort it out ,even i gave them old prescription from doctor because they were asking for name and dosage and still 3 days.
  • AnneBehymer
    AnneBehymer Member Posts: 738 Member
    #11
    lb said:

    her fluids are finally
    her fluids are finally drained (7L) a lot, blood transfusion is done ,hopefully she can go home 2moro .she doesn't feel good in hospital because she cant speak good English.some nurses are not nice .few days ago i came to visit her and she was crying. 2 nurses were passing her and one was saying something to her and the other said Don't talk to her she doesn't understand English and they both started to laugh.its maid her really upset because she understand more than she can say and those girls dint realise that.her blood pressure is high and she is taking some medicine every morning.it took them 3 days to sort it out ,even i gave them old prescription from doctor because they were asking for name and dosage and still 3 days.

    that is so not right
    those nurses should lose their job that is just not right even if she does not speak english well she still is their patient and should receive respect while under their care I am so sorry your mom is going through this did you report the nurses

    Anne
  • lb
    lb Member Posts: 6
    #12
    AnneBehymer said:

    that is so not right
    those nurses should lose their job that is just not right even if she does not speak english well she still is their patient and should receive respect while under their care I am so sorry your mom is going through this did you report the nurses

    Anne

    i haven't report it cos she
    i haven't report it cos she didnt want me to do so.
  • AnneBehymer
    AnneBehymer Member Posts: 738 Member
    #13
    lb said:

    i haven't report it cos she
    i haven't report it cos she didnt want me to do so.

    Your mom may not want you
    Your mom may not want you to report it because she is afraid they may be meaner to her if you do. If that is the case I would wait until she is released and then report it they should be held accountable for their actions if they are treat her that way who else are they doing it to I will be praying for you and your mom this is a hard battle and things like that make it worst
  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338
    #14
    AnneBehymer said:

    Your mom may not want you
    Your mom may not want you to report it because she is afraid they may be meaner to her if you do. If that is the case I would wait until she is released and then report it they should be held accountable for their actions if they are treat her that way who else are they doing it to I will be praying for you and your mom this is a hard battle and things like that make it worst

    so sorry
    that your Mom is being treated this way. The nurses at the hospital where I go are so very professional and caring. I would report this treatment to her doctor and let he or she take care of this for your Mom. Best of luck to both of you.
    (((HUGS))) Maria
  • lb
    lb Member Posts: 6
    #15
    R.I.P
    Unfortunately she passed away 16/11/11...she had bad headaches for 2 weeks even Morphine didn't take pain away.
  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338
    #16
    lb said:

    R.I.P
    Unfortunately she passed away 16/11/11...she had bad headaches for 2 weeks even Morphine didn't take pain away.

    so sorry for your loss
    it must have been so difficult to see your Mom in so much pain. Unfortunately, we have many daughters, mothers, sisters etc. who come to this board to discuss losing their loved ones to this terrible disease. Please know that you can come here for understanding and support.
    (((HUGS))) Maria
  • lb
    lb Member Posts: 6
    #17
    Mwee said:

    so sorry for your loss
    it must have been so difficult to see your Mom in so much pain. Unfortunately, we have many daughters, mothers, sisters etc. who come to this board to discuss losing their loved ones to this terrible disease. Please know that you can come here for understanding and support.
    (((HUGS))) Maria

    its terrible ...i still cant
    its terrible ...i still cant believe that she is not with me...thanks for support
  • Lisa13Q
    Lisa13Q Member Posts: 677
    #18
    lb said:

    its terrible ...i still cant
    its terrible ...i still cant believe that she is not with me...thanks for support

    Dear lb...so sorry for your loss
    Dear lb,

    I lost my Mom May 27th from this dreaded disease. It has been hard, but I am glad she is not suffering anymore. This is a very difficult disease. I am soo sorry you have to be going through this. The loss of a Mom is the most difficult thing. I thought I was tough until I went through this. Please take care of yourself during this time. I believe our mothers are watching us. Last night, a friend of mine told me "your mother would not want you to be unhappy". Although a million people have said that to me, it hit last night. I don't think your mother would want you to be unhappy either. I, too, had issues with the professionals taking care of my Mom. Her doctor didn't even call to send condolences. Death is hard to deal with for everyone. That doesn't excuse the nurses behavior, but it certainly may explain it a little bit. My deepest condolences to you and your family. Lisa
  • lovesanimals
    lovesanimals Member Posts: 1,366 Member
    #19
    Lisa13Q said:

    Dear lb...so sorry for your loss
    Dear lb,

    I lost my Mom May 27th from this dreaded disease. It has been hard, but I am glad she is not suffering anymore. This is a very difficult disease. I am soo sorry you have to be going through this. The loss of a Mom is the most difficult thing. I thought I was tough until I went through this. Please take care of yourself during this time. I believe our mothers are watching us. Last night, a friend of mine told me "your mother would not want you to be unhappy". Although a million people have said that to me, it hit last night. I don't think your mother would want you to be unhappy either. I, too, had issues with the professionals taking care of my Mom. Her doctor didn't even call to send condolences. Death is hard to deal with for everyone. That doesn't excuse the nurses behavior, but it certainly may explain it a little bit. My deepest condolences to you and your family. Lisa

    Dear Ib
    and Lisa, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved moms. May they rest in peace.

    Kelly
  • kellyh33
    kellyh33 Member Posts: 287
    #20
    lb said:

    its terrible ...i still cant
    its terrible ...i still cant believe that she is not with me...thanks for support

    I understand
    Hi,
    I also lost my mom to this damn disease August 17th, 2011. It hurts like hell and i suspect it always will. Although the grief is not as fresh as it was those first weeks I still have grief bursts. I look at her picture and i think how the heck did this happen to someone who always took such good care of herself? Sometimes i feel like she is staring back at me. It sounds crazy i know but i kiss her picture a lot and somehow it makes me feel marginally better for an instant.
    I wish i had could do or say something to make you feel better but I can't. Everyone grieves so differently and in a way that is best for them.
    I find i like to talk about my mom to anyone that will listen. I suppose i feel like i am keeping her memory alive. I feel sorry for people that did not get an opportunity to know her. She was an amazing human being.
    I am so sorry for your loss.
    Kelly

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