Need a Laugh?
lady, who had a mammogram today then was arrested for assaulting a
Mammogram Technician,
"Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating
circumstances."
The female Judge said, sarcastically,"I'd certainly like to
hear those extenuating circumstances.I did too so, I listened as the
lady told her story.
"Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually
kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to
ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'm Belinda!
All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip
to the waist, then slip on this gown.Everything clear?"
I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."
Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm.. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad
so we can get everything?" Fine, I answered.
I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off?
My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass)
when I heard and felt a zap!
Complete darkness, the power was off! Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is
working, bet they hit a snag." Then she headed for the door.
"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back."
Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly
how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire" found
me...half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the
other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting,
Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the
power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway."
"OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as
though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin.
Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch.. Are we upset?"
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...."
The judge could hardly contain her laughter
as she said
"Case Dismissed!
Comments
-
Oh, I can so relate
I needed this laugh.
When I was diagnosed my surgeon did a core needle biopsy in the office. As if that wasn't enough he scheduled a mammogram and ultrasound the next day. Okay, can you picture this? There's a hole in your breast from the biopsy, the tech squeezes you in between those plates, and then tells you not to breath. Who is she kidding? She had literally taken my breath away! I couldn't breathe if I wanted to! It hurt too bad. I wish I had thought to put her head in those plates!
Thanks for sharing this!!!!!!!!0 -
hahahaskipper54 said:Oh, I can so relate
I needed this laugh.
When I was diagnosed my surgeon did a core needle biopsy in the office. As if that wasn't enough he scheduled a mammogram and ultrasound the next day. Okay, can you picture this? There's a hole in your breast from the biopsy, the tech squeezes you in between those plates, and then tells you not to breath. Who is she kidding? She had literally taken my breath away! I couldn't breathe if I wanted to! It hurt too bad. I wish I had thought to put her head in those plates!
Thanks for sharing this!!!!!!!!
that was too funny...
Eva0 -
Ok, I have had patients that
Ok, I have had patients that have seen this joke and have been worried about the power going off. Just so you all know, there is a knob on the paddle that is the manual release. That way if the power goes out, even the patient can release the vise! I tell any of my patients that ask about it......
Cindy
aka Mamolady
PS - why is this post flagged?0 -
Cindy ... Thanks for assuring that there is ... a releasemamolady said:Ok, I have had patients that
Ok, I have had patients that have seen this joke and have been worried about the power going off. Just so you all know, there is a knob on the paddle that is the manual release. That way if the power goes out, even the patient can release the vise! I tell any of my patients that ask about it......
Cindy
aka Mamolady
PS - why is this post flagged?
knob that can be used in emergencies.
Post flagged -- hoping it was flagged in error.
Vicki Sam0 -
Thanks...loved it.
Thanks...loved it.0
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