Saw doc today and felt even worse......

stayingstrongfortoday
stayingstrongfortoday Member Posts: 116
in Breast Cancer #1
I had chemo today and before saw my oncol. he didn't want to talk to me about my leg said we would "just see what happens" and then he asked me if about my relationship with in laws, parents, sibs, friends and I was like "um I get along with people" and he told me I need to a good support system and walked out of the room. WTH? I went from being happy to scared and wondering what he was talking about. He also said I've only had 5 Taxol's and he was glad of that we'll do more...but he was so distant and weird. I couldn't help but take it personally or do you think it was some residual of the patient before me? UGH like I don't have enough trouble making my tomorrows ruin my todays I don't need the person who is suppose to help me getting in my head and causing me mind games. I know I wouldn't want his job but still..................

Comments

  • butterflylvr
    butterflylvr Member Posts: 944
    #2
    Wow.. how insensitive. I'm
    Wow.. how insensitive. I'm not sure what to read into this as I am sure you either. Maybe it was just an accumulative effect from having a bad day, and his comment was meant more as a question to gauge how you are doing at home? I don't really know what to think of it but if it's bothering you too much maybe a phone call is in order to answer some of your questions and concerns. Try and stay positive maybe it's that whole man versus women thing, words don't always come across the way they should or the way we feel they should. But dog gone it, him being a doctor you'd think he should excel in the communication field.

    Hugs,
    Lorrie
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #3
    How unprofessional and unkind .. I would of jumped (okay, I
    realize that may be a bit much for you in your current condition) - maybe screamed for your Oncologist to come back into the examine room and insist that his comments be clarified -- plain and simple --

    On the other hand, perhaps your Oncologist sees many patients and this is some secret code of his -- and maybe another staff member was scheduled to come back to the room and explain things. Maybe he was being kind, encrypted or mean -- just plain weird.

    Personally, I would call your Oncologist and INSIST that you get a return call ... let him know how upset and confused you are by his comments -- see ask if he can explain himself.

    We all need a piece of mind -- be your own best health advocate.

    Please Please Please call now .... bother him at home, if necessary.

    Vicki Sam
  • stayingstrongfortoday
    stayingstrongfortoday Member Posts: 116
    #4
    butterflylvr said:

    Wow.. how insensitive. I'm
    Wow.. how insensitive. I'm not sure what to read into this as I am sure you either. Maybe it was just an accumulative effect from having a bad day, and his comment was meant more as a question to gauge how you are doing at home? I don't really know what to think of it but if it's bothering you too much maybe a phone call is in order to answer some of your questions and concerns. Try and stay positive maybe it's that whole man versus women thing, words don't always come across the way they should or the way we feel they should. But dog gone it, him being a doctor you'd think he should excel in the communication field.

    Hugs,
    Lorrie

    I think he worries
    about my spirits and asked me how I was doing. I said I felt great other than my leg and he said "oh that's good." I've had other times I have felt worse after seeing him and I have a friend who sees him and she says sometimes there is just a "vibe" in the air of too much heavy stuff. I know that dealing with cancer patients would be good and bad. I am going to let it go and continue on my journey. If he had something to say he's pretty blunt he would have said it, we'll go with he was just checking on how my head was in the game and if I had other "players" to help me :)
  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
    #5
    Doctors see a lot..
    Hi -- He could have been less aggressive and more compassionate. I am sorry your Dr. planted a seed of worry in your mind. Doctors see a lot everyday so they are not always consistent with their behavior. They also worry our state of mind because they see everything. And sometimes patients are emotionally unbalanced because of the diagnosis, treatments, etc. I believe it is your right as a patient to know everything that's going on with you. Doctors can't keep anything from you. So if he had something important to tell you, I think he would. Perhaps he knows since you're going through this again, you need the support, and more so than before. He can't guess what you're thinking, but after all, he sees everything. I also suggest you tell him how you feel. Just be open and ask questions.

    I hope you feel better.
  • Pam5
    Pam5 Member Posts: 232
    #6
    LoveBabyJesus said:

    Doctors see a lot..
    Hi -- He could have been less aggressive and more compassionate. I am sorry your Dr. planted a seed of worry in your mind. Doctors see a lot everyday so they are not always consistent with their behavior. They also worry our state of mind because they see everything. And sometimes patients are emotionally unbalanced because of the diagnosis, treatments, etc. I believe it is your right as a patient to know everything that's going on with you. Doctors can't keep anything from you. So if he had something important to tell you, I think he would. Perhaps he knows since you're going through this again, you need the support, and more so than before. He can't guess what you're thinking, but after all, he sees everything. I also suggest you tell him how you feel. Just be open and ask questions.

    I hope you feel better.

    Seriously? I can't believe
    Seriously? I can't believe he wasn't more forthcoming and didn't explain what he was driving at. I have to say I would call and ask to speak to him and ask him what he meant and why he wouldn't talk about my leg. But, I can understand why you might want to let it go to. Whatever you decide or if you decide to do nothing, please know I'm sending you prayers.

    Hugs,
    Pam
  • dbhadra
    dbhadra Member Posts: 344 Member
    #7
    Pam5 said:

    Seriously? I can't believe
    Seriously? I can't believe he wasn't more forthcoming and didn't explain what he was driving at. I have to say I would call and ask to speak to him and ask him what he meant and why he wouldn't talk about my leg. But, I can understand why you might want to let it go to. Whatever you decide or if you decide to do nothing, please know I'm sending you prayers.

    Hugs,
    Pam

    Sometimes I think it's not so much what they say
    as it is their body language. I know when I got back my pathology report from my surgeon he came in the room and did not even look at me or shake my hand. He was also, to my thinking, very dismissive about my report. Later I was told by many people that surgeons just don;t communicate well.

    Could be a doctor thing, could be a man/woman thing. I know what you mean though about the seed of doubt. Sometimes I feel like I am always trying to read the body language and other nuances to find out what they are not telling me.

    Sorry that you felt upset after seeing him, just going to see the oncologist is stressful enough and sorry that you felt even more stress on top of that.

    Thoughts and prayers coming your way,

    Laura

Discussion Boards