Caretaker Question

rmkbrad
rmkbrad Member Posts: 176
in Head and Neck Cancer #1
Hello to all the caretakers, this is my question. My poor wife is so stressed with me fighting cancer for nearly two years and she still working has really taken a toll on her. I am not in good enough condition yet to help around the house much, I have more bad days then good. I have been through chemo and radiation twice and since the second time recovery has been really slow and hard, on both of us. I need some way to show her how much I appreceate her and what she does for us. Help

Comments

  • robinleigh
    robinleigh Member Posts: 297
    #2
    So sweet
    Your sweet concern probably works wonders so maybe write it on a card that she will have forever. Sweet blood had fabulous ideas of course! That cleaning service sounds like a true godsend. I am my husband's caregiver and the most uplifting thing he can do for me is to assure me that he will keep on fighting. "I love you" does wonders!
    My best wishes for your health,
    Robinleigh
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228
    #3
    Well, I am not a caretaker,
    Well, I am not a caretaker, but I am a woman who has been plenty overwhelmed working 65 hour work weeks. Things that would have made me extremely happy would have been to come home to a good hot meal, that I had nothing to do with. I was married for 15 years and that never happened once. Maybe a little gift bag of Bath & Body products and a hot bath with a bottle of nice wine all for me to relax in. Maybe a spa day and massage? I've never had one, but I know lots of girls that love that.
    Maybe help at home? I have read about cleaning services that offer free cleaning for people with cancer. something like this:

    Simplifying lives

    I'm not sure what else. I'm sure other people have better ideas. I'm easy to please for sure. Just a small gesture goes a long way.
  • palmyrafan
    palmyrafan Member Posts: 396
    #4
    Rally the Troops
    I am a patient, not a caregiver, and I agree with what Sweet suggested.

    I would also add that this is the time to rally the troops. Anyone and everyone who has ever said, "if there is anything I can do, please don't hesitate to call me". Well.....take 'em up on their kind offer.

    You can also throw in a load of laundry. Don't worry about doing all of the laundry, but even a load would help. Can you run the vacuum or use the broom or mop? If so, give the main living area(s) a swirl. Know how to handle a toilet brush? If so, clean the toilet bowl. How about a simple, basic home-cooked meal? There are cookbooks out there that have recipes with 10 ingredients or less and the ingredients are quite basic. Make your wife a card telling her how much she means to you and how much you appreciate everything she has sacrificed to help you in your journey. You can also suggest she have a girl's day out (if she doesn't already) with one or 4 of her friends. She can see a matinee and have lunch or she can get her nails or hair done. Try encouraging her in a new hobby or an old one. Does she have a passion she would like to pursue? If so, encourage her to do it.

    Anything you do to remind her how very special she is and that she is not taken for granted will go a long way and she will appreciate it.

    Good luck!
    Teresa
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #5
    palmyrafan said:

    Rally the Troops
    I am a patient, not a caregiver, and I agree with what Sweet suggested.

    I would also add that this is the time to rally the troops. Anyone and everyone who has ever said, "if there is anything I can do, please don't hesitate to call me". Well.....take 'em up on their kind offer.

    You can also throw in a load of laundry. Don't worry about doing all of the laundry, but even a load would help. Can you run the vacuum or use the broom or mop? If so, give the main living area(s) a swirl. Know how to handle a toilet brush? If so, clean the toilet bowl. How about a simple, basic home-cooked meal? There are cookbooks out there that have recipes with 10 ingredients or less and the ingredients are quite basic. Make your wife a card telling her how much she means to you and how much you appreciate everything she has sacrificed to help you in your journey. You can also suggest she have a girl's day out (if she doesn't already) with one or 4 of her friends. She can see a matinee and have lunch or she can get her nails or hair done. Try encouraging her in a new hobby or an old one. Does she have a passion she would like to pursue? If so, encourage her to do it.

    Anything you do to remind her how very special she is and that she is not taken for granted will go a long way and she will appreciate it.

    Good luck!
    Teresa

    Great Idea Brad
    I tell my caregiver wife how much I love her for all she has done for me but like you would like to really show her how much I appreciate all she has done and still does. August 24th will make 37 years together, 9 of them taking care of me with C. I got to do something special for the woman she it worth gold....

    Hondo
  • jim and i
    jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
    #6
    I am a caregiver to my
    I am a caregiver to my husband and I can tell you that writting down your love and appreciation, even on notebook paper will be the single most precious item you can give her. I still am overwhelmed when I read the notes Jim wrote me expressing his love and appreciation, especially because they are rare.

    I do not know about your wife but I would be upset if Jim did housework or laundry because I want him to use all his energy for fighting the cancer and healing. The spa day or hiring a cleaning crew would be a nice addition but not necessary. The only other thing that really helps me is to lay beside Jim and have him hold me and comfort me. Caretakers need comfort too.

    God Bless you. Debbie

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