Difficult times

forme
forme Member Posts: 1,161 Member
in Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin) #1
Hi All,

Well, I thought being home was and would be the greatest thing. But I find myself feeling afraid and somewhat lost. I know it has to due with the change of venue and change of time and probably even the change in the weather. I am trying to be strong for myself and everyone. It's hard. I am very tired, but not sleeping that well. Not hungry, so not eating to well.
I am happy to be home where it is peaceful and quiet. My bed feels so good! But I just feel scared and adrift.
I think I am rambling now. Just wanted to share with you all. You all are great support.
Thanks.

L

Comments

  • vinny59
    vinny59 Member Posts: 1,036 Member
    #2
    home is the best!
    Don't be scared, being home is like nothing else, just give yourself time to adjust........ Positive thought's your way! Vinny
  • forme
    forme Member Posts: 1,161 Member
    #3
    vinny59 said:

    home is the best!
    Don't be scared, being home is like nothing else, just give yourself time to adjust........ Positive thought's your way! Vinny

    Thanks
    Hi Vinny,

    Thanks for the positive words. I agree, Home is best.

    Hope you are doing great..

    Lisha
  • allmost60
    allmost60 Member Posts: 3,178 Member
    #4
    Sorry...
    Hi Lisha,
    You have had such a long hard year! I think what your feeling is normal, especially having to "again" do the watchful waiting after finishing the radiation. I've never had radiation treatments, but what I've read sounds like it can be difficult to adjust afterwards. Tired and sore throat seems to come with it, so maybe you just need a little more time to heal before it starts to get better. I hope you have enough energy to relax in your beautiful garden a little bit each day. You did such a lovely job on it. I'll keep good positive thoughts for you to get better with each passing day. Keeping you in my prayers, friend.
    Much love...Sue (FNHL-2-3A-6/10)
  • COBRA666
    COBRA666 Member Posts: 2,401 Member
    #5
    No place like home
    Lisha,
    Remember what Dorothy said, "Theres no place like home". Oh crap I forgot you don't live in Kansas do you? Seriously though I would guess you are feeling down and scared because you are home and feel as though nothing was accomplished. Now you are feeling all alone. But stuff was accomplished. You are so used to being proded and probed and made to feel sick. This time that did not happen and it seems out of place. You are now at home with the feeling that nothing was done. I can understand how you feel though. Just try and rest and it will all come together for you. We are always here to talk too. John
  • JoanieP
    JoanieP Member Posts: 573
    #6
    dear lisha
    I am so sorry that you are feeling out of sorts. I think like others said that when you were at the hospital you felt like they were working on the NHL. Now you have to wait for the results of what they did. You know how important it is to sleep so if you have to take something, ask your Dr to prescribe. I took something because I needed a time to just not think about my illness. I am praying for your "peaceful healing" Find something stupid funny to laugh about on TV like Siefelt or Raymond. Hugs to you
  • jimwins
    jimwins Member Posts: 2,107
    #7
    forMEOW :)
    Maybe Lola can take lessons?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DinASQRRFA

    Yes, I'm silly. Hope it makes you smile.
  • jimwins
    jimwins Member Posts: 2,107
    #8
    jimwins said:

    forMEOW :)
    Maybe Lola can take lessons?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DinASQRRFA

    Yes, I'm silly. Hope it makes you smile.

    Lola is a dog - sorry
    Chemo brain and not wearing my glasses when I looked at
    the picture earlier :). I later enlarged and saw she was
    a dog. Hope it made you smile anyway :).
  • forme
    forme Member Posts: 1,161 Member
    #9
    jimwins said:

    Lola is a dog - sorry
    Chemo brain and not wearing my glasses when I looked at
    the picture earlier :). I later enlarged and saw she was
    a dog. Hope it made you smile anyway :).

    Big Smile
    Hi Jim,

    Thanks for the big smile. I love kitties too. Our last cat, lived till she was 23 years old. She helped to raise our big dog Lola. Thanks again for the much needed smile.

    Lisha
  • dixiegirl
    dixiegirl Member Posts: 1,043 Member
    #10
    forme said:

    Big Smile
    Hi Jim,

    Thanks for the big smile. I love kitties too. Our last cat, lived till she was 23 years old. She helped to raise our big dog Lola. Thanks again for the much needed smile.

    Lisha

    I understand
    Lisha I wish I could say that I cannot relate to anything you've said, but unfortunately every single word you've said is like it's coming direct from my mouth. I don't know if it has something to do with being away from home for an extended period of time and the return to our lives which is not the same? We may be home but our bodies and emotions are trapped in some sort of twilight zone.

    I think with time it will get better, at least that's what I am hoping for. I wish you the best rest a girl can have, but if you need help with sleeping ask your doc or nurse for sleep-aids.

    I meant to tell you what a beautiful garden you have! I am so jealous I am drooling :)

    You are never far in my thoughts sweet lady! I know I don't post as much as I used to which I do think is partially due to this weird state of flux I seem to be caught in.

    Take care,
    Beth

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