Dumb things people say

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  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428 Member
    #22
    biz said:

    Going through this
    Going through this experience has taught me what TO say. One friend said, "I hope you know how much you are loved. You are valuable to me." I want to be like that.
    -Biz

    Me too.

    Me too.
  • yoga
    yoga Member Posts: 87
    #23
    buckeye2 said:

    Me too.

    Me too.

    are they thinking?
    I am continually surprised when people ask, "Why are you still having chemo?", when they find I have had 24 and am continuing on with no known end. I would think that I still have cancer would occur to them without me having to say it. Do they think I am doing it for the novel experience?!?
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #24
    I've got the best one:
    Was told that "Well, at least George has the good cancer". Are you kidding me, didn't know there was a good and bad cancer. As someone said, you can't fix stupid.

    Take care all - Tina
  • Friendinpenn
    Friendinpenn Member Posts: 70
    #25
    WOW!!! This hits home....
    At a sportsmen club I belong to a friend asked me how I was doing now...I said "Fine" and that my cancer report was good...a guy down the way said "Not for long"..."Once that cancer gets in you it will kill you"....
  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428 Member
    #26
    Friendinpenn said:

    WOW!!! This hits home....
    At a sportsmen club I belong to a friend asked me how I was doing now...I said "Fine" and that my cancer report was good...a guy down the way said "Not for long"..."Once that cancer gets in you it will kill you"....

    I can't even think of a
    I can't even think of a response for that one. Lisa
  • dorookie
    dorookie Member Posts: 1,731 Member
    #27
    buckeye2 said:

    I can't even think of a
    I can't even think of a response for that one. Lisa

    WOW
    me either, I think I would have punched him or something..

    Beth
  • daBeachBum
    daBeachBum Member Posts: 164
    #28
    Friendinpenn said:

    WOW!!! This hits home....
    At a sportsmen club I belong to a friend asked me how I was doing now...I said "Fine" and that my cancer report was good...a guy down the way said "Not for long"..."Once that cancer gets in you it will kill you"....

    Yikes
    Man Law would have held you entirely blameless for activating that SOB's dental plan...
  • ade7682
    ade7682 Member Posts: 31
    #29
    abrub said:

    I was told
    by someone "my 85 year old father just had a recurrence. At least you're young and lucky" to which I replied, "your father has had a full life. I may be dead before I'm 60." Us younger folk get cancer and die from it, too!

    The same person also fixated on whether or not I'd lose my hair with chemo. Heck, I was more concerned about my life.

    husband is 30 with stage 4 colon cancer
    Haven't heard the "you're lucky you got it when you're young" comment yet, but I'm sure it's coming. Kenny just kept getting the "you're the young guy" remark when he was in the hospital. I would love to chat with others in our age group who are going through this.
  • Patti1
    Patti1 Member Posts: 109 Member
    #30
    Stupid Comment and People/Do Something Nice for Someone
    Almost 3 weeks ago I brought my husband home from the hospital and are with Hospice at home, its like I unplugged my phone. One girlfriend finally called and says I did not want to call you becuase I did not know what to say...duh just be a friend and say hello we do not have some type of contagious disease. I feel sometimes like a lepur..

    Here is a total act of kindness,I looked outside yesterday afternoon, we have a large piece of property and there was a strange man mowing my lawn. I thought to myself he must be driving up the road and forgot about it. Later in the day a strange man was walking up my driveway with my recycle bins. He commented that he mowed my lawn, gave me some movies to watch and had a large bag of grapes he just picked. I had never seen this man before and the ATT repair man told him about us, he lived up the road from us, I am totally taken back by the kind jesture that a stranger did for us. When I can not even get a friend to call.

    Do something today for someone, no matter how small it may be,just a act of kindness. It will lift your heart, just as the gentlemen yesterday lifted mine.

    Patti
  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428 Member
    #31
    Patti1 said:

    Stupid Comment and People/Do Something Nice for Someone
    Almost 3 weeks ago I brought my husband home from the hospital and are with Hospice at home, its like I unplugged my phone. One girlfriend finally called and says I did not want to call you becuase I did not know what to say...duh just be a friend and say hello we do not have some type of contagious disease. I feel sometimes like a lepur..

    Here is a total act of kindness,I looked outside yesterday afternoon, we have a large piece of property and there was a strange man mowing my lawn. I thought to myself he must be driving up the road and forgot about it. Later in the day a strange man was walking up my driveway with my recycle bins. He commented that he mowed my lawn, gave me some movies to watch and had a large bag of grapes he just picked. I had never seen this man before and the ATT repair man told him about us, he lived up the road from us, I am totally taken back by the kind jesture that a stranger did for us. When I can not even get a friend to call.

    Do something today for someone, no matter how small it may be,just a act of kindness. It will lift your heart, just as the gentlemen yesterday lifted mine.

    Patti

    I'm in. Why don't you post
    I'm in. Why don't you post this in it's own thread so that we can report on exactly what it was we did. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own problems, we forget to focus on others.
  • Vickilg
    Vickilg Member Posts: 281 Member
    #32
    buckeye2 said:

    I'm in. Why don't you post
    I'm in. Why don't you post this in it's own thread so that we can report on exactly what it was we did. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own problems, we forget to focus on others.

    Patti
    I loved what your neighbor did for you.

    Friends just don't realize what they say sometimes.

    1. All she was concerned about was getting me a wig even though I told her many, many times I wasn't going to lose my hair and to be honest was the least of my concerns. She meant well but...

    2. I have a stoma and everytime I would leave the house finally having a good day from chemo she would say oh you are so lucky loose shirts are in style now so you don't see the bag. I finally told her that she wrecked my confidence every time because I was not thinking of the bag that help saved my life but that if that was all she saw when she looked at me that we couldn't be friends. She felt horrible and we are still buddies today.

    3. The worse... you look tired. Said with concern but yeah I already know I am tired and look like it.

    Again they mean well and I love my friends. They are dealing with this too in their own way. Its not easy to have a friend go through something like this. If they are true friends you can be a bit direct with them so that the friendship doesn't crash... if it does then its okay you have more important things going on.
  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428 Member
    #33
    Patti1 said:

    Stupid Comment and People/Do Something Nice for Someone
    Almost 3 weeks ago I brought my husband home from the hospital and are with Hospice at home, its like I unplugged my phone. One girlfriend finally called and says I did not want to call you becuase I did not know what to say...duh just be a friend and say hello we do not have some type of contagious disease. I feel sometimes like a lepur..

    Here is a total act of kindness,I looked outside yesterday afternoon, we have a large piece of property and there was a strange man mowing my lawn. I thought to myself he must be driving up the road and forgot about it. Later in the day a strange man was walking up my driveway with my recycle bins. He commented that he mowed my lawn, gave me some movies to watch and had a large bag of grapes he just picked. I had never seen this man before and the ATT repair man told him about us, he lived up the road from us, I am totally taken back by the kind jesture that a stranger did for us. When I can not even get a friend to call.

    Do something today for someone, no matter how small it may be,just a act of kindness. It will lift your heart, just as the gentlemen yesterday lifted mine.

    Patti

    I held true to my word about
    I held true to my word about doing something for someone. I have the best secretary in the world. During all this illness, I have missed quite a few days and she has been "holding up the fort" without complaint. On top of this she has had to listen to all my trials and tribulations. Today I wrote her parents to tell them what a great daughter they raised and how valuable she was to both me and our organization. I think it will make both their day and hers because rarely do parents get a nice letter about their adult children. Lisa PS You were right. It did feel good to think of someone other than myself.
  • jjaj133
    jjaj133 Member Posts: 867 Member
    #34
    TrapperDan said:

    How about this one
    "Has the doctor told you how long you have to live?"

    The next time I hear that question, I am thinking of responding "The rest of my life"

    i think i would have to say,
    i think i would have to say, "yes talk fast, i have 20 minutes."
  • mlbeverly
    mlbeverly Member Posts: 1
    #35
    TrapperDan said:

    How about this one
    "Has the doctor told you how long you have to live?"

    The next time I hear that question, I am thinking of responding "The rest of my life"

    yep
    I heard that one, too, TrapperDan. I like the response on a tv ad: There's no expiration stamp on the back of my head.
  • pluckey
    pluckey Member Posts: 484 Member
    #36
    Former co-worker: "Wow,
    Former co-worker: "Wow, you look really good, like a model"

    I was a ghastly 90 lb cancery anorexic bag of death that could barley walk and she admired how skinny I got!

    I really really hated the various plays on "positive attitude" - like that's all it takes to beat ANY disease. UURGGHGHGHGHG
  • Kimo Sabe
    Kimo Sabe Member Posts: 64
    #37
    pluckey said:

    Former co-worker: "Wow,
    Former co-worker: "Wow, you look really good, like a model"

    I was a ghastly 90 lb cancery anorexic bag of death that could barley walk and she admired how skinny I got!

    I really really hated the various plays on "positive attitude" - like that's all it takes to beat ANY disease. UURGGHGHGHGHG

    People say the darndest things
    One I heard: "see what happens when you don't get your routine colonoscopy". I didn't bother to explain that my stage IIIB cancer was discovered this May between my August, 2008 and scheduled August 2011 colonoscopy.

    I must also confess that before I had cancer I was pretty clueless. While I don't think I ever said anything outrageous, I know I thought some things that I'm glad I never expressed. I think until you're in the boat with other cancer folks, you don't know.

    I would reiterate a couple of things that were said above. On the positive side, the outpouring of community support has been amazing. Several people have brought food, and people have helped with my yard and many other tasks. I feel very warm and positive about this support. One man drove 7 miles on a little Suzuki to bring me a soup he made because he heard I was having a hard time eating and was losing weight.
    I have received many cards of support, but one very special one was similar to above. The people said simply that they were sorry and they cared about me and they wanted me to know a lot of people loved me.
  • ninetoes
    ninetoes Member Posts: 81
    #38
    Dumb things co-workers say
    I had a co-worker say " I wish I had cancer so I could be off work ". I just looked at him and walked away.
  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428 Member
    #39
    ninetoes said:

    Dumb things co-workers say
    I had a co-worker say " I wish I had cancer so I could be off work ". I just looked at him and walked away.

    You showed great restraint.
    You showed great restraint. Lisa
  • Kimo Sabe
    Kimo Sabe Member Posts: 64
    #40
    buckeye2 said:

    You showed great restraint.
    You showed great restraint. Lisa

    ps Kimo Sabe is Norm
    I need to remember to sign my name.
    Norm
  • pascall5
    pascall5 Member Posts: 25
    #41
    Sundanceh said:

    Completely Curable? (CYN)
    I know we have to be so "correct" these days, especially at work in this economy, but maybe next time, you will still be able to send over a zinger that lets them know they "messed up" while still retaining your dignity.

    I love #3 - Completely curable.....tell that person that's why rectal cancer is the #2 killer of all cancers and is an equal opportunity destroyer for both men and women.

    If that does not work, introduce them to the word "recurrece" which we know is stage IV - tell them if they are keeping count, there is no Stage V.

    -Craig:)

    completely curable??
    Yep Sundanceh, I had an oncology nurse say to me, "Well, if your gonna get cancer, colon cancer is the one to get......what-the????

    Mary

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