Dumb things people say

buckeye2
buckeye2 Member Posts: 428 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1
Most of you have probably experienced that people don't know what to say to you. In their nervousness to say the right thing, they often times say the wrong thing. During these times I think of smart a-- replies in my head. Here are a few of those stupid comment:

"You guys situation makes me and my wife realize how lucky we are."

Answer: well I am certainly happy that our life threatening illness has improved your life.

"I know you have a full plate. My is full too. My wife's aunt died"

Answer: I am not sure your wife's 70 year old aunt qualifies under the "full plate" guidelines.

Anybody else have some others?
«1

Comments

  • AncientTiger
    AncientTiger Member Posts: 130
    #2
    Best one so far
    That I've had: "Now, aren't you sorry you smoked all those years"

    What I SHOULD have said: "No, since I had colon cancer and not lung cancer, I'm more sorry that I was a smoke EATER"
  • dorookie
    dorookie Member Posts: 1,731 Member
    #3
    AncientTiger said:

    Best one so far
    That I've had: "Now, aren't you sorry you smoked all those years"

    What I SHOULD have said: "No, since I had colon cancer and not lung cancer, I'm more sorry that I was a smoke EATER"

    Here too
    People would always say, see what smoking got you, or do you wish you hadnt smoked, My answer to them all was, I got colon cancer, I didnt smoke out of my ARSE....

    HUGS
    Beth
  • dorookie
    dorookie Member Posts: 1,731 Member
    #4
    AncientTiger said:

    Best one so far
    That I've had: "Now, aren't you sorry you smoked all those years"

    What I SHOULD have said: "No, since I had colon cancer and not lung cancer, I'm more sorry that I was a smoke EATER"

    Here too
    People would always say, see what smoking got you, or do you wish you hadnt smoked, My answer to them all was, I got colon cancer, I didnt smoke out of my ARSE....

    HUGS
    Beth
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
    #5
    How about.....
    1. "I have a friend that beat it! He was stage four last year and thought
    he was going to die, and now he's out playing golf again!"

    2. "You still got that? I thought you got rid of it?"

    3. "My brother's wife's friend said that her friend had that type
    of cancer six months ago and they gave her chemo that cured it.
    They are always coming out with new cures!"

    4. "Did they cancel your insurance when they found out you
    were going to die? They cancelled my sister's insurance when
    she had cancer. Everything - health, life, even her house insurance!"

    5. "My mom died of that, so did my uncle and his best friend.
    I wonder if it's contagious?"

    6. "Stop eating junk food. That's what causes it."
  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900 Member
    #6
    John23 said:

    How about.....
    1. "I have a friend that beat it! He was stage four last year and thought
    he was going to die, and now he's out playing golf again!"

    2. "You still got that? I thought you got rid of it?"

    3. "My brother's wife's friend said that her friend had that type
    of cancer six months ago and they gave her chemo that cured it.
    They are always coming out with new cures!"

    4. "Did they cancel your insurance when they found out you
    were going to die? They cancelled my sister's insurance when
    she had cancer. Everything - health, life, even her house insurance!"

    5. "My mom died of that, so did my uncle and his best friend.
    I wonder if it's contagious?"

    6. "Stop eating junk food. That's what causes it."

    number 6 is ok
    good list john
  • TrapperDan
    TrapperDan Member Posts: 4
    #7
    pete43lost_at_sea said:

    number 6 is ok
    good list john

    How about this one
    "Has the doctor told you how long you have to live?"

    The next time I hear that question, I am thinking of responding "The rest of my life"
  • dorookie
    dorookie Member Posts: 1,731 Member
    #8
    TrapperDan said:

    How about this one
    "Has the doctor told you how long you have to live?"

    The next time I hear that question, I am thinking of responding "The rest of my life"

    Good Answer
    I like that one.....

    HUGS
    Beth
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    #9
    dorookie said:

    Good Answer
    I like that one.....

    HUGS
    Beth

    No one knows I have cancer
    No one knows I have cancer but my close family and best friend. No one but my boss knew I work, even though I worked all through chemo. The only thing I heard was

    'Why you?
    'This hurts us as much as it hurts you....that was nice.

    No one brings it up in my family. They ask how I am feeling these days and that is it. When I had my cancer active, unless I was in the hospital, they never said anything, but they all treated me like I was a diamond in the ruff!


    No complaints.
  • here4lfe
    here4lfe Member Posts: 306 Member
    #10
    John23 said:

    How about.....
    1. "I have a friend that beat it! He was stage four last year and thought
    he was going to die, and now he's out playing golf again!"

    2. "You still got that? I thought you got rid of it?"

    3. "My brother's wife's friend said that her friend had that type
    of cancer six months ago and they gave her chemo that cured it.
    They are always coming out with new cures!"

    4. "Did they cancel your insurance when they found out you
    were going to die? They cancelled my sister's insurance when
    she had cancer. Everything - health, life, even her house insurance!"

    5. "My mom died of that, so did my uncle and his best friend.
    I wonder if it's contagious?"

    6. "Stop eating junk food. That's what causes it."

    I heard that one
    Number 2 is my favorite. It also infuriates me most.

    Best
  • merrysmom
    merrysmom Member Posts: 51
    #11
    here4lfe said:

    I heard that one
    Number 2 is my favorite. It also infuriates me most.

    Best

    here is one for you
    i spent most of my 20's and 30's in the hospital with a severe seizure disorder. I could not see, walk, or talk most of the time. people would come visit me and say" at least you don't have cancer". can you imagine what they would say to me now? People are really stupid at times.
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #12
    Looks
    Someone said to me, "you look better today, last time I saw you you didn't look very well." Well duh.

    Kim
  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    #13
    I was told
    by someone "my 85 year old father just had a recurrence. At least you're young and lucky" to which I replied, "your father has had a full life. I may be dead before I'm 60." Us younger folk get cancer and die from it, too!

    The same person also fixated on whether or not I'd lose my hair with chemo. Heck, I was more concerned about my life.
  • k1
    k1 Member Posts: 220 Member
    #14
    abrub said:

    I was told
    by someone "my 85 year old father just had a recurrence. At least you're young and lucky" to which I replied, "your father has had a full life. I may be dead before I'm 60." Us younger folk get cancer and die from it, too!

    The same person also fixated on whether or not I'd lose my hair with chemo. Heck, I was more concerned about my life.

    dumb things people say
    My mom lay dying in her bedroom, my dad was in the middle of chemo for breast cancer, and I came to help take care of them both after after my colon resection in the very small gossip-driven town in which they lived. I met the prospective new housekeeper recommended by a family friend.

    She walked in the house, and said the following upon initial meeting:

    "Hi, my name is _______. I heard you are sick too....so do you have a bag?"

    I told her it was none of her damn business and to not ever ask me or anyone else with cancer a question like that again.

    You just can't fix stupid!
  • khl8
    khl8 Member Posts: 807
    #15
    k1 said:

    dumb things people say
    My mom lay dying in her bedroom, my dad was in the middle of chemo for breast cancer, and I came to help take care of them both after after my colon resection in the very small gossip-driven town in which they lived. I met the prospective new housekeeper recommended by a family friend.

    She walked in the house, and said the following upon initial meeting:

    "Hi, my name is _______. I heard you are sick too....so do you have a bag?"

    I told her it was none of her damn business and to not ever ask me or anyone else with cancer a question like that again.

    You just can't fix stupid!

    Mine was " Really? must you
    Mine was " Really? must you be so cranky" mind you I was lying in a hospital bed recovering from surgery! If I could have risen from the bed, someone would have been slapped upside the head!
  • LivinginNH
    LivinginNH Member Posts: 1,456 Member
    #16
    How do you like these

    How do you like these statements from a few of our co-workers:

    Co-worker #1 after I told her that Rick had cancer: "Wow, you really know how to pick men!" (I met Rick, who I consider the love of my life, a year after my divorce.)
    -- Could this woman have been any more callous??

    Co-worker #2 after he saw Rick a few months after HIPEC surgery: "Hey, Rick looks really healthy now that he lost some weight - I guess getting cancer was good for him!"
    -- Are you SERIOUS!!

    Co-worker #3: "Oh, he only has colon cancer? That's completely curable, I've read the studies." -- Oh, really??
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #17
    LivinginNH said:

    How do you like these

    How do you like these statements from a few of our co-workers:

    Co-worker #1 after I told her that Rick had cancer: "Wow, you really know how to pick men!" (I met Rick, who I consider the love of my life, a year after my divorce.)
    -- Could this woman have been any more callous??

    Co-worker #2 after he saw Rick a few months after HIPEC surgery: "Hey, Rick looks really healthy now that he lost some weight - I guess getting cancer was good for him!"
    -- Are you SERIOUS!!

    Co-worker #3: "Oh, he only has colon cancer? That's completely curable, I've read the studies." -- Oh, really??

    Completely Curable? (CYN)
    I know we have to be so "correct" these days, especially at work in this economy, but maybe next time, you will still be able to send over a zinger that lets them know they "messed up" while still retaining your dignity.

    I love #3 - Completely curable.....tell that person that's why rectal cancer is the #2 killer of all cancers and is an equal opportunity destroyer for both men and women.

    If that does not work, introduce them to the word "recurrece" which we know is stage IV - tell them if they are keeping count, there is no Stage V.

    -Craig:)
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #18
    I'll Add One.....
    Me to Co-Worker:
    "I've got stage IV cancer with only a 7% chance at making it 5 years."


    His response back to me:
    "These allergies are whippin' my a$$."

    -C
  • LivinginNH
    LivinginNH Member Posts: 1,456 Member
    #19
    Sundanceh said:

    Completely Curable? (CYN)
    I know we have to be so "correct" these days, especially at work in this economy, but maybe next time, you will still be able to send over a zinger that lets them know they "messed up" while still retaining your dignity.

    I love #3 - Completely curable.....tell that person that's why rectal cancer is the #2 killer of all cancers and is an equal opportunity destroyer for both men and women.

    If that does not work, introduce them to the word "recurrece" which we know is stage IV - tell them if they are keeping count, there is no Stage V.

    -Craig:)

    Craig, you're absolutely
    Craig, you're absolutely right, I need to work on my zingers - usually I just look at them in stunned silence. Next time, I'll try out one of yours. :-)
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #20
    Sundanceh said:

    I'll Add One.....
    Me to Co-Worker:
    "I've got stage IV cancer with only a 7% chance at making it 5 years."


    His response back to me:
    "These allergies are whippin' my a$$."

    -C

    Good grief!
    Well, I hope you gave him the appropriate amount of sympathy for that! Which would be maybe a knuckle sandwich!

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • biz
    biz Member Posts: 60 Member
    #21
    Going through this
    Going through this experience has taught me what TO say. One friend said, "I hope you know how much you are loved. You are valuable to me." I want to be like that.
    -Biz

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