Just could not go to radation today

hey rarph
Do you have anyone checking on you, a spouse or SO or any type of caregiver? It's an awful lot to handle alone, I worry when I read your posts.

no rads
My chemo delivery was a bit different than anyone else's, as I carried a Cisplatin pump at the same time as the FU-5 in weeks #1 and #4. I was too sick to make it to any of the rads in week #5, and I started out #6 in the hospital for what turned into 4 mights. When I made the calls in #5 it was like the rad Techs half-expeced I would be too sick, SO, it must not be all that unusual to skip some rads due to current conditions. Important thing- get back to doing the rads just as soon as you are physically able.

kcass

Treatment is Tough
I was pretty much ok through two weeks of treatment. Radiation five days a week and chemo once a week. Then to put it literally all hell broke loose. No sugar coating, this treatment is very tough but I had no choice if I wanted to live. Take all the advice you can get on here because a lot of us on here have rode out the storm. I was diagnosed in December of 2006 and completed treatment in February of 2007 so in February 2012 it will now be five years post treatment. Thank God I am still vertical although I would like to be normal again I have to live with the "new normal". Fight hard, get a good support system and most of all if you are a person of faith, rely on it. May God bless you through this difficult time in your life.

Lelia said:

hey rarph
Do you have anyone checking on you, a spouse or SO or any type of caregiver? It's an awful lot to handle alone, I worry when I read your posts.

I am too worried. Keep up
I am too worried. Keep up the fight and come to the board daily for help and encouragement. We are here for you.. Hugs

One day at a time
Many of us lived by this - you can't think about how tough it will get, just think about getting through the next day, hour, minute or second. You can't know what will come - it is likely to get harder, but the last few weeks are often paradoxically easier for some (and some spend them on their backs in the hospital - either way, worrying about it won't help).

It sounds like you might need some assistance getting to radiation - if you don't have someone driving you, call your local ACS chapter about getting a volunteer to drive you.

Talk to your doctor about the best time to take medications in relation to radiation - I tried to time Doug's short-term pain pill to kick in about 30 minutes after radiation. He would usually try to eat something (usually a Boost Plus) on the way home (I was driving him at that point) and then sleep for 3-4 hours after treatment (it was a 40-minute drive). For a few weeks, it was just that - wake, Boost, drive to hospital, pain pill, radiation, drive home/Boost, nap, Boost, nap, Boost, bed (water and other pills in between). Wake up the next day and repeat. A few months later, he was playing hockey again (that's to give you hope - you don't have to play hockey if you don't want to, though).

Give yourself over to this - don't try to do anything else and don't try to do it alone. You will get through this and you will get better.

Keep us posted.

It STINKS!
Hey there!

It's HELL.....but you gotta get it done as prescribed. Massive pain killers (i.e. Fentanyl patches) WILL be required.

My first 3 weeks of Rads and Chemo were a breeze....But then...(eek!)

My last week of treatment I had to be in-patient.

And NO...it only gets worse - get those Fentanyl patches.

Use any method and any crutch you can to get through the treatment.

I'm 8 months post treatment, and although my life is still not back to "normal" I must say that NO MATTER HOW HORRIBLE IT IS I WOULD DO IT AGAIN!
Because it does get better.

~Cheers

paaatriot101 said:

Please Hang In there
Rarph< Been there done that< been a while since I checked boards here< I am a stage IVB throat cancer survivor, and YES radiation treatments suck big time< BUT> KEEP GOING< Talk to your doctors, let them know what you think, feel, need, beef up your support group< do what you need to do, but do not miss the radiation appointments< I know it's hard, and will no doubt get harder, but you can do it< just do not let yourself slip in to the mind set that it's ok to skip> it is not, it does not help< I had days my support team literally pulled me from bed and MADE me go:) Quite a story there lol< the battle used more effort and energy than just going lol< but I went< BTW< my first week chemo... it was the worst< and as far as PEG tube suggestion, it may be too late to have this done if all ready in treatment< if so a naso tube may help< HANG IN THERE< On the last day of treatment< even though so sick and weak as a newborn< it felt like celebration time:) and clean scans in the following months, and now full year and a half are further cause for joy<</p>

peg tube
fyi...not too late to get a peg tube. My husband got his after 4th week of radiation. If you lose 10% of your body weight where he was being treated, getting the peg tube is not up for discussion...it is absolutely done.
I agree with all suggestions for you...Do whatever it takes to get your treatment done. Your cancer is considered CURABLE!!!

Hi Rarph
It does get worse before it will get better, but we are all here for people like you who are just starting up the road. You will make it and all this will someday be only a memory.

Take care
Hondo

rarph123 said:

panic attact
Not a good speller but thank you all for posting your support. When they put that mask on me I went side ways--somthing to do with the war--anyways I was too scared to go to the next treatment of radation.Last Sat.to Tuesday Had nothing to eat and very little water.wife rushed me to E.R and spent several days in the hosp--close to the end. They put a tube in me and I'm now getting fluids and supplements. What a support team that got me going again. Today went for rads for B.O.T and lung tratment--tomorrow is 2nd for chemo.--I wonder at times if this is worth it--kids flew down from Okla to wash. just to prey for me and offer support--wife is hanging on so I gotta do my part and fight. Read so many of your post that I would like to say thank you

Xanax
Might I suggest you advise your rad team that you are with us on the ACS site, and have been advised that a Xanax prescription for taking before the rad session is not unusual?
Yes, I may suggest that, and tell you that my regular Dr/PCP prescribed Xanax for me, and I took a 1/2-tab before most every session after the first week, and it did help me with anxiety. My sessions lasted some 20-25 minutes under the mask, and the saliva/swallowing thing used to get to me. Did help a lot, and I know a few others have used Xanax to help.
IT IS THEIR JOB TO HELP YOU GET THRU IT, AND SUCH A MED AS XANAX IS ENTIRELY WITHIN THE REALM OF DOABLE. Call it panic, or anxiety- it is their job to give you something to help you with it so that you can get thru what is truly necessary- the rads.

kcass

DrMary said:

Worth it
I think it's worth it, but then I only had to watch. Our chemo guy put it best - H&NC treatment challenges life itself. Not just making you sick, but making it hard to eat, breath, talk. To top it off, they immobilize you while they do the radiation that you know will day after day make your life harder. And they inject you with poisons. How do you fight that?

You don't of course. I think you are reacting to your treatment because you see "fighting cancer" as some kind of action. You don't act against cancer - you hold still while the surgeon cuts it out of you, or while the radiation folks zap it, or while the chemo folks inject stuff. The way you fight is to stop looking at the big picture and see the small picture: your assignment is to do the things those others can't do for you, such as eating when you don't feel like it, showing up for appointments you don't want to make and getting through each day knowing that it's one step closer to the end of treatment.

Accept any help that comes along - Xanax or any of the valium cousins are not to be scorned and I hope your doctor considers them.

It sounds like you have your priorities straight - you do owe it to the kids and wife (and you) to hang in there and fight. Keep reading - there are many inspirational stories on this board. Keep posting - someone will always offer support.

Wow
That was very well written, and stated in a way that I've been saying to myself since all this started. You're correct. This entire scenerio is a show of love and devotion to yourself, and those that mean so much to you. You can't just let yourself or them down.......so you keep pushing every day.

Larry