I need HELP - anxiety has taken over my life.

jasminsaba
jasminsaba Member Posts: 157 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi - my mom was recently (6/27/2011) diagnosed with colon cancer. She had a radical resection done on 6/29/2011 and has been recovering well from her surgery. She had 2 out of 15 lymph notives testing positive so we knew right away that she'd need chemo. TWO BIG SHOCKS in one week.

Since then, we have had to deal with lingering doubts about suspicious shadows/possible lesion on her liver ... she had a CT scan done a month before her diagnosis which identified an 8 mm possible hymangioma but they could not rule anything in or out based on the CT and MRI at the hospital. Her CEA was 3.5 at the time of her diagnosis ... she had a PET scan done this weekend and will be going in for a liver biopsy tomorrow ... three shadows all in all, 2 under 5 mm, and one that's 17 mm.

I am TERRIFIED ... terrified. I have an anxiety attack every time I think about what has been happening the past few weeks and for some reason, I just can't shake it.

I work in clinical research, we manage oncology trials - I should be better equipped but alas this is very personal.

Anyway, I just wanted to write a little note here and let you you all know that you've been a wonderful support system for me. Even though we don't know each other, I am inspired by each and every one of you and reading your stories of survival have provided me much needed hope and strength.

Please pray for me and my mom during this challenging time in our lives ... I'll continue to keep all of you in my prayers.

Comments

  • daBeachBum
    daBeachBum Member Posts: 164
    #2
    Fear and Anxiety
    I'm sorry that you have found yourself needing to be here, but welcome you to the board. These folks are a great bunch and are very supportive and informative.

    I think that in a lot of ways that caregivers and family can have it harder than patients! Its just as important that you take care of you as it is for you to take care of your mom. She will need you to be strong for her and will want you to be as OK as possible under the circumstances.

    Perhaps you may want to look into speaking with a counselor associated with your mom's hospital or your mother's doctor about the way you are feeling. It could be helpful to get this out there, or perhaps get a prescription for some low dose anti-anxiety medication for a spell. I also highly recommend that you take a look at the Caregivers Forum on CSN. There will be a lot of people there that are in the same boat as you.

    I hope that the chemo regimen they will put your mom on knocks this down quickly and that she has minimal side effects. I also hope that things calm down for you...

    All the best :-)

    Ray
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331 Member
    #3
    I don't have very clear wether she got some mets or not
    jasmine, beside that are you having any pill for anxiety ? .
    Praying for both of you Jasmine!
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #4
    Hi Jasmin
    I'm sorry to hear of your Mom's diagnosis (dx). There are a lot of people on here with different stages of cancer. Myself, I'm stage IV colon cancer since Feb of 2004. One of the first things I did was to speak with a counselor and to take an anti-anxiety medication. I take a low dose but it keeps my head on straight(er) so I can think and not just react to what's going on. I would seriously consider looking into that for yourself judging from what you're telling us here.
    From what you say about her numbers (CEA and tumor size) things look pretty good to me. I hope that she is getting the best possible medical care that she can get, it makes such a difference how things are done and where they are done from my experience.
    -phil
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #5
    Sorry
    I'm sorry you're having such a problem with anxiety, but it's understandable. Many have had to deal with that. Hope you're getting some good counseling.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • thxmiker
    thxmiker Member Posts: 1,278 Member
    #6
    First, Our thoughts and
    First, Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your mother! We are sending good thoughts and vibes to both of you.

    Anxiety is normal, your mother's health is now in the unknown territory. Many people have faced the battle before and many here can give support and advice on how to deal with the issues if cancer.

    This is the new normal for a while in both of your lives! Once we had that in our minds the cancer issues became easier to deal with. We were going to travel every other Thursday to go to Chemo. We were going to have a late lunch at a place on the way home. (If I was feeling well enough. Else we would phone in an order and pick up lunch to go. There are soooo many wonderful restaurants in Los Angeles, we would pick a couple and then how I felt was what we did on the way home.)

    Keep Positive, your mother needs you!
    Keep positive people around both of you, you do not need negative at all.
    Read and listen! Read about the issues and the type of cancer. Then ask a lot of questions before and during treatment. This will help you follow what is going on and when problems start vs problems get out of control.

    Best Always, mike
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    #7
    thxmiker said:

    First, Our thoughts and
    First, Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your mother! We are sending good thoughts and vibes to both of you.

    Anxiety is normal, your mother's health is now in the unknown territory. Many people have faced the battle before and many here can give support and advice on how to deal with the issues if cancer.

    This is the new normal for a while in both of your lives! Once we had that in our minds the cancer issues became easier to deal with. We were going to travel every other Thursday to go to Chemo. We were going to have a late lunch at a place on the way home. (If I was feeling well enough. Else we would phone in an order and pick up lunch to go. There are soooo many wonderful restaurants in Los Angeles, we would pick a couple and then how I felt was what we did on the way home.)

    Keep Positive, your mother needs you!
    Keep positive people around both of you, you do not need negative at all.
    Read and listen! Read about the issues and the type of cancer. Then ask a lot of questions before and during treatment. This will help you follow what is going on and when problems start vs problems get out of control.

    Best Always, mike

    Anxiety is natural. One day
    Anxiety is natural. One day at a time, one step in front of the other. Keep the hope. Help Mom take care of her body and mind! You too! Big hug! Stage 4, NED for over 2 years. A blessing, and a miracle!
  • jasminsaba
    jasminsaba Member Posts: 157 Member
    #8
    Thank you ...
    I'd like to thank each of you for taking time to post your supportive comments - they've been most helpful and heart warming.

    My mother's diagnosis has left me still in shock ... she's only 52, otherwise healthy - how could this happen? But I guess it serves to purpose to ask WHY. Nobody should ever have to go through the burden of this disease but you have all provided me much hope and encouragement to forge on.

    As an only child, I have enjoyed a particularly warm and close relationship with both my parents ... my other is my best friend, my ROCK and gives my joy to my life. I know I'll have to be strong for her now - and I'll do my best to do that.

    I have started looking into getting some counseling to help moderate my thoughts ... I have an overly analytical mind that's doing me no good at this time.

    Thank you again for your warmth and my best wishes to all of you for a full recovery.
  • relaxoutdoors08
    relaxoutdoors08 Member Posts: 521 Member
    #9
    jasminsaba said:

    Thank you ...
    I'd like to thank each of you for taking time to post your supportive comments - they've been most helpful and heart warming.

    My mother's diagnosis has left me still in shock ... she's only 52, otherwise healthy - how could this happen? But I guess it serves to purpose to ask WHY. Nobody should ever have to go through the burden of this disease but you have all provided me much hope and encouragement to forge on.

    As an only child, I have enjoyed a particularly warm and close relationship with both my parents ... my other is my best friend, my ROCK and gives my joy to my life. I know I'll have to be strong for her now - and I'll do my best to do that.

    I have started looking into getting some counseling to help moderate my thoughts ... I have an overly analytical mind that's doing me no good at this time.

    Thank you again for your warmth and my best wishes to all of you for a full recovery.

    Breathe, Take it one step at a Time
    The fear and anxiety will get better once there is a plan and you and your Mom get started with the plan one step at a time. I use Tai Chi for exercise and to help me stay in the moment, concentrating on one chemo session at a time. Use the good week between treatments to enjoy your time with your Mom. You could help her by keeping track of her blood levels as she does treatment. These lab results determine if she would be able to do the scheduled treatment.

    Prayers for you and your Mom,
    NB

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