Still here

Radioactive34
Radioactive34 Member Posts: 391 Member
These last few days have been rough. This chemo round is kicking my butt. Sending my best wishes to all.

Comments

  • skeeter1002
    skeeter1002 Member Posts: 43
    Hello
    Sorry to hear your having a rough time. Hang in there!
  • carolenk
    carolenk Member Posts: 907 Member
    Just a reminder to drink a
    Just a reminder to drink a lot & eat small frequent meals. Whatever tastes good or whatever is least offensive. I ate a lot of applesauce. For some reason that went down pretty easily & I think it helps with the constipation.

    Make sure you poop every day. Milk of Magnesia worked for me. Hang in there, this phase is temporary.

    (((hugs)))

    Carolen
  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338
    butt kicking chemo
    so sorry that this has been so rough. Please make sure that you tell your Drs. before your next round about all your symptoms. My Dr. adjusted my dosage last time and it was much more tolerable. I hope today is better.
    (((HUGS))) Maria
  • Radioactive34
    Radioactive34 Member Posts: 391 Member
    Mwee said:

    butt kicking chemo
    so sorry that this has been so rough. Please make sure that you tell your Drs. before your next round about all your symptoms. My Dr. adjusted my dosage last time and it was much more tolerable. I hope today is better.
    (((HUGS))) Maria

    still kicking ****
    I am having very hard time with the nausea. I can keep the food down, but it just feels horrible. Exhaustion is just consuming. I get up eat, chat for a bit and then it is back to bed.

    I feel physically depressed and wasted. Like I have no umph. Each day I am awake a little more, but I am worried as I have not hit the "bad" week. To say I am weepy is to put it mildly.

    No matter what I do I can't seem to get to a comfortable temperature. I am flushed and just giving off heat. No fever... I have been checking.

    I have people staying with me to take care of me. They take their cues from me. I just want to be left alone to be miserable. I can feel them chomping at the bit wanting to go out and do things....like shop or the like. I encourage it but they feel the need to baby me. AGGHH...I am half way through these rounds.

    Yet all I can see is terror at having to hook up to the drips again. I am just freaking. I am besides myself. I think the big thing is that I do not have the space to be by myself. I am normally a quiet person. I live alone with my cats. The house is invaded with well wishers. I do not have space to just be sick and alone.

    I feel like I don't have space to just have a good crying spell. :( I am in a rough spot.
  • Radioactive34
    Radioactive34 Member Posts: 391 Member
    Mwee said:

    butt kicking chemo
    so sorry that this has been so rough. Please make sure that you tell your Drs. before your next round about all your symptoms. My Dr. adjusted my dosage last time and it was much more tolerable. I hope today is better.
    (((HUGS))) Maria

    still kicking ****
    I am having very hard time with the nausea. I can keep the food down, but it just feels horrible. Exhaustion is just consuming. I get up eat, chat for a bit and then it is back to bed.

    I feel physically depressed and wasted. Like I have no umph. Each day I am awake a little more, but I am worried as I have not hit the "bad" week. To say I am weepy is to put it mildly.

    No matter what I do I can't seem to get to a comfortable temperature. I am flushed and just giving off heat. No fever... I have been checking.

    I have people staying with me to take care of me. They take their cues from me. I just want to be left alone to be miserable. I can feel them chomping at the bit wanting to go out and do things....like shop or the like. I encourage it but they feel the need to baby me. AGGHH...I am half way through these rounds.

    Yet all I can see is terror at having to hook up to the drips again. I am just freaking. I am besides myself. I think the big thing is that I do not have the space to be by myself. I am normally a quiet person. I live alone with my cats. The house is invaded with well wishers. I do not have space to just be sick and alone.

    I feel like I don't have space to just have a good crying spell. :( I am in a rough spot.
  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member

    still kicking ****
    I am having very hard time with the nausea. I can keep the food down, but it just feels horrible. Exhaustion is just consuming. I get up eat, chat for a bit and then it is back to bed.

    I feel physically depressed and wasted. Like I have no umph. Each day I am awake a little more, but I am worried as I have not hit the "bad" week. To say I am weepy is to put it mildly.

    No matter what I do I can't seem to get to a comfortable temperature. I am flushed and just giving off heat. No fever... I have been checking.

    I have people staying with me to take care of me. They take their cues from me. I just want to be left alone to be miserable. I can feel them chomping at the bit wanting to go out and do things....like shop or the like. I encourage it but they feel the need to baby me. AGGHH...I am half way through these rounds.

    Yet all I can see is terror at having to hook up to the drips again. I am just freaking. I am besides myself. I think the big thing is that I do not have the space to be by myself. I am normally a quiet person. I live alone with my cats. The house is invaded with well wishers. I do not have space to just be sick and alone.

    I feel like I don't have space to just have a good crying spell. :( I am in a rough spot.

    You have to tell people exactly what you need or don't need!
    I had people almost trying to force feed me but I understood that they were just concerned that I wasn't eating. My cousin kept trying to get me out of bed when I just wanted to lay there and be miserable like you said. I kept telling her, "you know when I feel good I don't stay in bed but right now I can't get up." I used to cry into my pillow because I didn't want to upset my mom or my son. It's a difficult time but you will feel better and then before you know it you will feel good. It's an unfortunate process we have to go through. So use us to vent or cry to or whatever you need to do. We are all here. Hope you feel better soon.

    Karen
  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338

    still kicking ****
    I am having very hard time with the nausea. I can keep the food down, but it just feels horrible. Exhaustion is just consuming. I get up eat, chat for a bit and then it is back to bed.

    I feel physically depressed and wasted. Like I have no umph. Each day I am awake a little more, but I am worried as I have not hit the "bad" week. To say I am weepy is to put it mildly.

    No matter what I do I can't seem to get to a comfortable temperature. I am flushed and just giving off heat. No fever... I have been checking.

    I have people staying with me to take care of me. They take their cues from me. I just want to be left alone to be miserable. I can feel them chomping at the bit wanting to go out and do things....like shop or the like. I encourage it but they feel the need to baby me. AGGHH...I am half way through these rounds.

    Yet all I can see is terror at having to hook up to the drips again. I am just freaking. I am besides myself. I think the big thing is that I do not have the space to be by myself. I am normally a quiet person. I live alone with my cats. The house is invaded with well wishers. I do not have space to just be sick and alone.

    I feel like I don't have space to just have a good crying spell. :( I am in a rough spot.

    I've been chemoing for quite awhile
    and been on several different combos and I can tell you that it (although my first week is very hard ) it doesn't have to be this bad. First of all, there are several very effective anti-nausea drugs. They are more effective if taken before you feel sick... your Drs or chemo nurses will help you out with this. The unbelieveable fatique is something that you just have to give into. I call it my "lost week". I slip in and out of sleep/watch TV and can't remember the plot/even my beloved coffee tastes awful/ and I sweat buckets.

    Please tell your Drs and chemo nurses how hard this treatment is hitting you. There are several things they can do. They may adjust your dosage and they put you on a mild anti-depressent or anti-anxiety med. They are miracle drugs!

    I, also, like being alone when I'm going through my bad chemo week. If I have someone around, I feel like I have to entertain them.... even the phone calls to check up on me (bless their hearts) are sometimes too much for me.

    AND... just when you're starting to feel like yourself again.... it's THAT time again! You are not alone and you CAN do this.
    (((HUGS))) Maria
  • Radioactive34
    Radioactive34 Member Posts: 391 Member
    Mwee said:

    I've been chemoing for quite awhile
    and been on several different combos and I can tell you that it (although my first week is very hard ) it doesn't have to be this bad. First of all, there are several very effective anti-nausea drugs. They are more effective if taken before you feel sick... your Drs or chemo nurses will help you out with this. The unbelieveable fatique is something that you just have to give into. I call it my "lost week". I slip in and out of sleep/watch TV and can't remember the plot/even my beloved coffee tastes awful/ and I sweat buckets.

    Please tell your Drs and chemo nurses how hard this treatment is hitting you. There are several things they can do. They may adjust your dosage and they put you on a mild anti-depressent or anti-anxiety med. They are miracle drugs!

    I, also, like being alone when I'm going through my bad chemo week. If I have someone around, I feel like I have to entertain them.... even the phone calls to check up on me (bless their hearts) are sometimes too much for me.

    AND... just when you're starting to feel like yourself again.... it's THAT time again! You are not alone and you CAN do this.
    (((HUGS))) Maria

    Thank you gals for your hugs
    Thank you gals for your hugs and well wishes. Your advice and comfort is appreciated.

    I got a grip. I think I am going to start a few of these with the "I got a grip." I decided to go on short term disability for work. I was so worried about it and really could not keep it up. Things will definitely be tighter financially but I can only do so much.

    I am already on anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds. I am on small doses but I am going to talk to my shrink and oncologist about upping the anti-anxiety doses. Right now, I do not have any problem getting medication.

    These next few weeks, I will only have one person living with me. It will help me feel "comfortably" sick. I won't feel the need to entertain.

    I am actually doing pretty good for being on chemo. My counts are good. It is just that the chemo side effects are overwhelming and all consuming. I am greatful that I am doing well but it scares me to think of when I might not physically handle it this well. Because this WELL is just......the sickest I have been.

    I have just started the treatments. We are doing a total of 6 before they scan me again. 3 treatments in and I feel like a superfund site. 3 treatments in and I wonder in what shape 9, 12, or more will leave me.

    I am fighting this as best as I can. I am thinking as positive as I can, but I am not sticking my head in the sand. The hard statistics are there. The studies are there to be read.

    Cancer is a cruel...but it has brought out the best in my family and friends. It has taught me what really matters.
  • Mercedes20870
    Mercedes20870 Member Posts: 24

    still kicking ****
    I am having very hard time with the nausea. I can keep the food down, but it just feels horrible. Exhaustion is just consuming. I get up eat, chat for a bit and then it is back to bed.

    I feel physically depressed and wasted. Like I have no umph. Each day I am awake a little more, but I am worried as I have not hit the "bad" week. To say I am weepy is to put it mildly.

    No matter what I do I can't seem to get to a comfortable temperature. I am flushed and just giving off heat. No fever... I have been checking.

    I have people staying with me to take care of me. They take their cues from me. I just want to be left alone to be miserable. I can feel them chomping at the bit wanting to go out and do things....like shop or the like. I encourage it but they feel the need to baby me. AGGHH...I am half way through these rounds.

    Yet all I can see is terror at having to hook up to the drips again. I am just freaking. I am besides myself. I think the big thing is that I do not have the space to be by myself. I am normally a quiet person. I live alone with my cats. The house is invaded with well wishers. I do not have space to just be sick and alone.

    I feel like I don't have space to just have a good crying spell. :( I am in a rough spot.

    You can do this, we all can ...
    I do really understand everything you just said, I had two rounds of 6 chemo each time I got sick in 2 years, now I just out of and Study with Avastin, because my CA-125 is 200, and tomorrow I will see my doctor, the nurse on charge of me has told me that he might put me in a pill, and in a couple months my CT scan my show the tumors growing back, could it be the third time I will fight against OC, reading you was like see myself in those times, you are right deeply, we want to be miserable alone, and cry and be mad alone, without to try to explain what is going on with us, nobody really knows what to do, we as a the ones in treatment and their as our caregivers, there is not the perfect formula, just do what you want, just said what you want to say, do not repress yourself, they will understand you, and when you feel better, because you will, let them know it is nothing personal, is just the ways the treatment make you feel and you need your freedom, ... When I got sick for first time my parents came from Peru to take care of me, my dad is 77 years old and my mom 74 years old, can you imagine how I felt?, and how they felt?, it was so painful in many ways, I make them understand me, at least that is what I think, and at the end of the day we make it!

    I'm also live alone, and the second time I got 6 rounds of chemo, most of the time I was left alone as I convinced everybody, (my parents could not came this time), I had some visitors of course, but most of the time I was alone, and something happened inside of me, I recent a little bit that nobody really insist to take care of me! ... my point is, we won't feel good with company and without company, but is something really bad happened to us, is better to have somebody really close to us, to help ...

    You will feel better, and when all this pass, and them you will be so strong that you would be able to control pain, any kind of pain, you are learning so much, you don't see it yet but you are, you will have a great peace inside of you, believe me, if you do, get excited, because you will feel like never before, I'm disapointed with my last CA-125 test, but I know I can handle what is coming, in the meanwhile I'm trying my best to do not think on that, I can not suffer in advance, so I won't even imagine that ...

    Try Guide Imaginery by Belleruth, it is amazing ... our mind is so powerful it is not just being positive, it is believe there is always a way to get the best of the worse situation, and live with dignity even when we are sick ...

    I'm sending you a lot of good energy, I really believe you will feel better, and will win this disease, just try to get the best of it ...

    Love,

    Mercedes
  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member

    Thank you gals for your hugs
    Thank you gals for your hugs and well wishes. Your advice and comfort is appreciated.

    I got a grip. I think I am going to start a few of these with the "I got a grip." I decided to go on short term disability for work. I was so worried about it and really could not keep it up. Things will definitely be tighter financially but I can only do so much.

    I am already on anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds. I am on small doses but I am going to talk to my shrink and oncologist about upping the anti-anxiety doses. Right now, I do not have any problem getting medication.

    These next few weeks, I will only have one person living with me. It will help me feel "comfortably" sick. I won't feel the need to entertain.

    I am actually doing pretty good for being on chemo. My counts are good. It is just that the chemo side effects are overwhelming and all consuming. I am greatful that I am doing well but it scares me to think of when I might not physically handle it this well. Because this WELL is just......the sickest I have been.

    I have just started the treatments. We are doing a total of 6 before they scan me again. 3 treatments in and I feel like a superfund site. 3 treatments in and I wonder in what shape 9, 12, or more will leave me.

    I am fighting this as best as I can. I am thinking as positive as I can, but I am not sticking my head in the sand. The hard statistics are there. The studies are there to be read.

    Cancer is a cruel...but it has brought out the best in my family and friends. It has taught me what really matters.

    Great
    You need to do what is best for you at this time and I too learned the lesson about what really matters. As I have said many times before, I live my life in three-month increments. Once I get a good result from the CA 125, I live life. My head is not in the sand either but I put cancer on the back burner. I am still amazed at times that I can do this because I have always been a worry wart. But the alternative is too curl up in a ball and wait for the other shoe to drop. I won't do that.

    Karen