Frustration and starfish

aysemari
aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
edited July 2011 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi everyone,

we had so much bad news lately on this board and I can see
how that may get a little frustrating at times. And some feel
overwhelmed and feel they need to stay away. Here are two
things that help me get things back into perspective.

1) The way I was welcomed and guided through my journey
when I first stumbled on this board - scared out of mind and lost.

2) Starfish.. hahha makes you go HUNH? -doesn't it?

I have shared this story with some of you but I will repeat myself
and hope you won't mind.

The Old Man and the Starfish

Every day, an old man walked the beach with a pail, picking up starfish that had been
washed i by the tide, and throwing them back into the sea.

One day a young boy stopped the old man and asked, “Why do you throw the starfish back?
It doesn’t matter. They will only wash up on the shore again tomorrow.”

The old man picked a starfish out of his pail, threw it as far as he could into the sea,
and replied, “It mattered to that one.”

I once was stranded like that and you lovely ladies sure made a difference
in my life. And I hope to do the same for someone else.

Bunches of love,
Ayse

Comments

  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #2
    Unfortunately, bad news goes
    Unfortunately, bad news goes hand in hand a lot when you have or had bc. But, there is also always good news and that is what I choose to focus on.

    I can't change the bad, but, I can choose to live my life and not let anything or anyone drag me down.

    I know, a simple philosophy, but, hey it works for me.

    Love your Old Man and Starfish story Ayse!


    Hope you and your boyfriend are doing well.


    Hugs, Lex
  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
    #3
    Hi. ;)
    Hi Ayse -- Liked that story you just shared. Thank you.

    I've been feeling down from reading all the bad news - I can't deny. But sometimes that too is part of the process. That's right, process! Because it will be better for everyone here, eventually. I have faith in that, and I choose to believe it.
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
    #4
    LoveBabyJesus said:

    Hi. ;)
    Hi Ayse -- Liked that story you just shared. Thank you.

    I've been feeling down from reading all the bad news - I can't deny. But sometimes that too is part of the process. That's right, process! Because it will be better for everyone here, eventually. I have faith in that, and I choose to believe it.

    Oh Ayse that was beautiful.
    Oh Ayse that was beautiful. I have a special love for starfish and that just made it even better for me.
    Thanks for sharing and I needed to hear that today. Nervous about Onc. appointment tomorrw.
    Thanks again and love your posts.
    Hugs,
    Wanda
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #5
    Lighthouse_7 said:

    Oh Ayse that was beautiful.
    Oh Ayse that was beautiful. I have a special love for starfish and that just made it even better for me.
    Thanks for sharing and I needed to hear that today. Nervous about Onc. appointment tomorrw.
    Thanks again and love your posts.
    Hugs,
    Wanda

    GOOD LUCK!!!
    Wanda,

    good luck at your appointment today and I am hoping for great
    results for you. You come back and report to us, YOU HEAR?

    (;

    Love,
    Ayse
  • serenity92
    serenity92 Member Posts: 84
    #6
    aysemari said:

    GOOD LUCK!!!
    Wanda,

    good luck at your appointment today and I am hoping for great
    results for you. You come back and report to us, YOU HEAR?

    (;

    Love,
    Ayse

    Thank you, this newbie
    Thank you, this newbie appreciates that story and everyone that is here as I make the decisions the regular population cant help me with and the coming weeks and months of the unknown. Jayne
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
    #7
    serenity92 said:

    Thank you, this newbie
    Thank you, this newbie appreciates that story and everyone that is here as I make the decisions the regular population cant help me with and the coming weeks and months of the unknown. Jayne

    Thanks so much Ayse for the
    Thanks so much Ayse for the good luck, I will report back. Why do we get so nervous :) I know why, just wishing it wasn't so.
    Jayne (newbie) I love the way you spell your name. I spelled my daughter's middle name that way.
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    #8
    Lighthouse_7 said:

    Thanks so much Ayse for the
    Thanks so much Ayse for the good luck, I will report back. Why do we get so nervous :) I know why, just wishing it wasn't so.
    Jayne (newbie) I love the way you spell your name. I spelled my daughter's middle name that way.

    Love you Ayse, thank you for
    Love you Ayse, thank you for the beautiful starfish story, and Wanda keep your chin up for good news. Welcome Jayne, Newbie and may God bless all of us Pinks.
  • butterflylvr
    butterflylvr Member Posts: 944
    #9
    Lighthouse_7 said:

    Thanks so much Ayse for the
    Thanks so much Ayse for the good luck, I will report back. Why do we get so nervous :) I know why, just wishing it wasn't so.
    Jayne (newbie) I love the way you spell your name. I spelled my daughter's middle name that way.

    Unfortunately the bad news
    Unfortunately the bad news comes with the good. I only wished I'd have joined this board back in Oct. 2010 when I was first dx'd. I did finally find you ladies in April still healing up from my surgery. The overwhelming response to take me into the family is what keeps me still here today. I know what the newbies are going through, that wasn't me that long ago. I want to be here for them and heaven forbid if like some of our other strong Pink warrior sisters that are battling the beast again, I'd sure like to know you girls will always be there for me too. That is what sisterhood is all about.

    I'm here for the long haul and you can't get rid of me. Oh and Ayse I loved the starfish story... Thank you.

    Lorrie
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    #10
    butterflylvr said:

    Unfortunately the bad news
    Unfortunately the bad news comes with the good. I only wished I'd have joined this board back in Oct. 2010 when I was first dx'd. I did finally find you ladies in April still healing up from my surgery. The overwhelming response to take me into the family is what keeps me still here today. I know what the newbies are going through, that wasn't me that long ago. I want to be here for them and heaven forbid if like some of our other strong Pink warrior sisters that are battling the beast again, I'd sure like to know you girls will always be there for me too. That is what sisterhood is all about.

    I'm here for the long haul and you can't get rid of me. Oh and Ayse I loved the starfish story... Thank you.

    Lorrie

    Love the starfish story, Ayse
    I hate the bad news as well--but I love, love, love the good news even more. I'm going to a seminar on Saturday about "living in the moment" to try to enjoy each moment as it comes and not project so much into the future or obsess about things I cannot control. I'll report back.

    Hugs, Renee
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #11
    missrenee said:

    Love the starfish story, Ayse
    I hate the bad news as well--but I love, love, love the good news even more. I'm going to a seminar on Saturday about "living in the moment" to try to enjoy each moment as it comes and not project so much into the future or obsess about things I cannot control. I'll report back.

    Hugs, Renee

    Bad News...
    No one hates the "bad news" more than those of us on the receiving end of it! When we share the bad news, it's not intended to bring our much beloved pink sisters down...but to share, find comfort and support.... Loved the Starfish story....When I was first dx my main goal was " if I can help JUST ONE woman going through this nightmare"...well I've accomplished that goal, personally and on this board...now I'm back in the fight, again....and yet again seeking other's experiences and support....with no intention of bringing anyone down....

    Hugs, Nancy
  • butterflylvr
    butterflylvr Member Posts: 944
    #12
    MAJW said:

    Bad News...
    No one hates the "bad news" more than those of us on the receiving end of it! When we share the bad news, it's not intended to bring our much beloved pink sisters down...but to share, find comfort and support.... Loved the Starfish story....When I was first dx my main goal was " if I can help JUST ONE woman going through this nightmare"...well I've accomplished that goal, personally and on this board...now I'm back in the fight, again....and yet again seeking other's experiences and support....with no intention of bringing anyone down....

    Hugs, Nancy

    Nancy,
    I love your posts although I wish it were better news. Your personality, sense of humor and spunk are three of the things I hope to take with me in my own personal journey. Right now I've slayed the beast but it's through the hearts and spirits of you and the other Pink warriors that I know I am going to be alright should it rear it's ugly head again.

    You keep posting girl... you're putting up a Hell of a fight.

    Hugs,
    Lorrie
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    #13
    Ayse,
    What a beautiful
    Ayse,

    What a beautiful reminder that each of us matter, and that each moment matters.

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
    #14
    I find more good news on this board,
    but the bad news is a part of it. I was told by a counselor when looking for a bc support group here, after my rediagnosis, that it would be hard for me with stage IV because I am the groups worse nightmare, because the cancer has returned, and I was stage 1-2 (2 cm but no node involvement, one onco said stage 1, other stage 2).

    This made me feel so alone, then I found this board and was welcomed, even with stage IV. Unfortunately, life is not rosy all the time, and like someone else said, being diagnosed with advanced bc, is the last thing any of us wanted to hear. Sometimes just a visit to the onco and new bad news is more than I can handle, or losing more mobility when I had to accept the fact that at 53 I need a wheelchair, when less than a year ago, I was gutting a bathroom. Or now, facing the reality that even with this horrible chemo I am on, that the cancer may have spread to my liver.

    I agree with some, that the bad news is overwhelming at times, but that is when our pink sisters need us the most! And all the good news that I hear puts a really big smile on my face! I love to hear that others are dancing with NED!
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #15
    camul said:

    I find more good news on this board,
    but the bad news is a part of it. I was told by a counselor when looking for a bc support group here, after my rediagnosis, that it would be hard for me with stage IV because I am the groups worse nightmare, because the cancer has returned, and I was stage 1-2 (2 cm but no node involvement, one onco said stage 1, other stage 2).

    This made me feel so alone, then I found this board and was welcomed, even with stage IV. Unfortunately, life is not rosy all the time, and like someone else said, being diagnosed with advanced bc, is the last thing any of us wanted to hear. Sometimes just a visit to the onco and new bad news is more than I can handle, or losing more mobility when I had to accept the fact that at 53 I need a wheelchair, when less than a year ago, I was gutting a bathroom. Or now, facing the reality that even with this horrible chemo I am on, that the cancer may have spread to my liver.

    I agree with some, that the bad news is overwhelming at times, but that is when our pink sisters need us the most! And all the good news that I hear puts a really big smile on my face! I love to hear that others are dancing with NED!

    Amen!
    Well said...yes, it's a comfort to those of us with stage IV recurrence to have the support of others in the fight again or dancing with NED....
    I wish ALL of us better days...
    Hugs, Nancy
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    #16
    missrenee said:

    Love the starfish story, Ayse
    I hate the bad news as well--but I love, love, love the good news even more. I'm going to a seminar on Saturday about "living in the moment" to try to enjoy each moment as it comes and not project so much into the future or obsess about things I cannot control. I'll report back.

    Hugs, Renee

    I love this Ayse! Thanks!
    I love this Ayse! Thanks!

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