Thank you and Endoscopy questions

Thank you, everyone, for your support. *note* if you don't want to read my rambling, just skip to the bottom where I have a question about the endoscopy.*

I came here really freaked out about all the "what-ifs". I won't lie, I still am, but least I know it's normal! My daughter is away at camp for the week, so it's just my son and I here to de-clutter the house. I've gotten a lot done since Friday, with a bit more to do. Busy work, that's what I need right now.

I don't know if it's a matter of ideal timing, or that I'm now hypersensitive to everything since the doctor felt the lump, but in the last 48 hours things have gotten worse. That feeling you get that your food is stuck? It's constant now. It used to be only during and lasting to shortly after I eat. And if I drank enough, and big enough gulps I can feel the food pass through the tight spot. (a trick I learned from my daughter who has cricopharyngeal achalasia. LOL ) But now it's just there all the time. Doesn't matter how much or how big of gulps I drink, the feeling doesn't go away. Sometimes it feels like if I cough hard enough I would be able to cough something out of there. Makes me feel kind of panicky, like...hmmm...not really sure how to explain it. Kind of almost claustrophobic feeling, or like I have to sometimes think about taking a big breath. (does that make any sense at all?)

On thing for sure, I have a new understanding of what my daughter has been going through her entire life. There are two differences 1) she doesn't know any different. She has ALWAYS felt this way. 2) She has an incredibly high pain threshhold, where I am apparently quite a baby! When she had her esophageal manometry done 18 months ago, the GI said she should be in "excruciating pain" the way solid foods were sitting right in front of her epiglottis. Instead she gives no indication of pain. She can tell us when she has food stuck, or starts retching when it's in front of her airway and takes giant drinks of whatever we can get her quickly. Then she's able to tell us "I got it out", when it's moved past the spot. This happens maybe 2-3 times per week. That's partly why we haven't gone the surgical route with her. I'm starting to re-think that decision, because this is an AWFUL feeling! S

The other new thing is that when I'm lying down, it feels like someone is squeezing my esophagus. It doesn't burn, or hurt in any way, it's just uncomfortable. That started Friday or Saturday night. I forget. Timing or being hypersensitive to everything? Hard to say!

I'm just praying that I'm going to wake up from the endoscopy and be told I have reflux. I can handle reflux. I know all about it thanks to my daughter the reflux queen. Maybe get a nissen done just like we did for her as an infant. Don't you like how I throw around the word "just" like it's such an easy procedure? LOL Seriously, my kids have caused my sense of what's serious and what's not to become quite warped!

ENDOSCOPY QUESTION:
My endoscopy is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. I've had a few unrelated procedures in the past couple of years that have required me to be under general anesthesia or at very least heavy sedation. I kind of look forward to the drug induced naps! (see? Warped!) But I'm having real anxiety issues about tomorrow. I get very claustrophobic with face masks, etc. My ENT has learned it's better to give me the silly juice as soon as possible after I walk in the door, if even just to shut me up! (my husband might agree.) Will I be as heavily sedated for the endoscopy? Just in case I have to do it again down the road, I don't want to remember A THING. I don't want to be aware later of what it was like trying to swallow that tube. Just the thought of that causes my blood pressure to start increasing. LOL

Tomorrow night I'm going to come back here and post that it's just reflux. Some drugs, change of diet mabye, and get on with life.

OH, one quick question: are there rules here about posting links? (I haven't take the time to read through the rules! I should do that! LOL) I'm an avid blogger will probably have my husband update there while I'm sleeping off my sedation. Let me know if I'm breaking a rule and I'll delete the link! http://gardenofeagan.blogspot.com/