Having trouble giving up independence--Follow up with Onco

camul said:

Hi everyone. I cant tell you all how much your understanding mea
ns to me!

I am trying to figure out if today was better. I had chemo and my mo appointment. He agrees that the chemo is affecting the lesions and the white matter. He is not concerned that it is cancer, as cancer would not clear up after 4 to 5 days. I talked to him about losing my independence and he says part of that is the progression of my disease, but he is hoping that most of it is from the chemo. I can drive when I have my good days, and he knows that I wont even drive with a migraine. Soooooo that part is settled from his end, I talked to my ex there, they are worried I will fall or get hurt. It is all with love.

Now to the next part. I will have no chemo next week. I lost another 4.6 pounds since last Wednesday, which puts me in the area of 25lb loss after taking me off tamoxifen and evista a month ago, but I have to start taking the Evista again next Wednesday, and if the swelling begins again, then I will go to another one.

I will finish out this round with 2 more chemo's then repeat the bone scan,MRI or CT scan on my lungs and liver, he is not convinced that this chemo is working but we won't know for 4-5 weeks, then I may have decisions to make.

Last big followup is that I will have my wheelchair shortly, they are working with my insurance for a new lightweight motorized scooter that will fit in the trunk, so I will not need a lift. Comes apart in 3-4 places so no heavy lifting. I am excited. I have used the motorized shopping carts 2x now and cant believe how much easier it is to get through the grocery store!

I feel much more balanced today as one of my sisters is here with my niece and great niece, and tomorrow I get my oldest sister and her husband for a full week. I got tickets for the rodeo for Tuesday, and 10 friends and family members are going together it is Tough guys wear pink with proceeds going to bc research, so that should be fun, followed by a trip to the Utah/Nevada state line Wednesday!! So I will have as much fun as is possible.

Thank you all for being so encouraging! It is so hard, and sometimes so unbearable when this disease just keeps on taking and taking..... if it were a friend I would have dropped it from facebook.

Love you all, and I will keep fighting and I am going to make an appointment to go to a counseling appointment with my sons as I am sure they have more questions.

Love and Prayers....
Carol

Got out alone this morning, said I was going to morning mass, and my ex said he thought that would be ok.... LOL Now I know the trick!

I will keep praying that
I will keep praying that your chemo works Carol! And, I am so happy that you are feeling more balanced now and more independent. You know we are all here for you always! Have a great time at the Rodeo!


Praying for your tests....please let us know your results.


Sue

LYaklin said:

You've nearly taken my thoughts from my mind
I am finding greater and greater limitations and it's breaking my heart. I too have always been very independent. Walking is becoming more and more difficult for me unless I am doped up on pain meds and even then I can only manage minimal jaunts. 2 weeks ago I had to stay behind on a family outing I planned months ago for my 14 yr old son and a friend because we all knew that having me along would be a hindrance to their fun. I have a 6 month old grandson I am afraid to pick up and carry on my own for fear of falling and hurting us both. They talk about quality of life, yet where is it if we are unable to enjoy the things we love best? But I'll keep plugging along because I want to live. I am not ready to be just a memory.

Big hugs to you!

I pray that your family will
I pray that your family will understand, and, I am sure that they will. They only smother you because they love you Carol. You are certainly blessed in that matter.

You take care of yourself and I will be praying for you.


Hugs, Diane

DebbyM said:

You know the trick now! lol
You know the trick now! lol You keep fighting Carol and we will all be praying!

How was your trip and the rodeo?


Hugs, Debby

How are you doing Carol and
How are you doing Carol and did you enjoy the rodeo?

Double Whammy said:

Time
Dear Carol -

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I missed your initial post or I would have sent my hugs and prayers sooner.

I hope the good days continue to be good for you and you're able to look forward to and enjoy those days.

Suzanne

You sound happier Carol and
You sound happier Carol and I pray that will continue for you!


Hugs, Diane

camul said:

Hi everyone. I cant tell you all how much your understanding mea
ns to me!

I am trying to figure out if today was better. I had chemo and my mo appointment. He agrees that the chemo is affecting the lesions and the white matter. He is not concerned that it is cancer, as cancer would not clear up after 4 to 5 days. I talked to him about losing my independence and he says part of that is the progression of my disease, but he is hoping that most of it is from the chemo. I can drive when I have my good days, and he knows that I wont even drive with a migraine. Soooooo that part is settled from his end, I talked to my ex there, they are worried I will fall or get hurt. It is all with love.

Now to the next part. I will have no chemo next week. I lost another 4.6 pounds since last Wednesday, which puts me in the area of 25lb loss after taking me off tamoxifen and evista a month ago, but I have to start taking the Evista again next Wednesday, and if the swelling begins again, then I will go to another one.

I will finish out this round with 2 more chemo's then repeat the bone scan,MRI or CT scan on my lungs and liver, he is not convinced that this chemo is working but we won't know for 4-5 weeks, then I may have decisions to make.

Last big followup is that I will have my wheelchair shortly, they are working with my insurance for a new lightweight motorized scooter that will fit in the trunk, so I will not need a lift. Comes apart in 3-4 places so no heavy lifting. I am excited. I have used the motorized shopping carts 2x now and cant believe how much easier it is to get through the grocery store!

I feel much more balanced today as one of my sisters is here with my niece and great niece, and tomorrow I get my oldest sister and her husband for a full week. I got tickets for the rodeo for Tuesday, and 10 friends and family members are going together it is Tough guys wear pink with proceeds going to bc research, so that should be fun, followed by a trip to the Utah/Nevada state line Wednesday!! So I will have as much fun as is possible.

Thank you all for being so encouraging! It is so hard, and sometimes so unbearable when this disease just keeps on taking and taking..... if it were a friend I would have dropped it from facebook.

Love you all, and I will keep fighting and I am going to make an appointment to go to a counseling appointment with my sons as I am sure they have more questions.

Love and Prayers....
Carol

Got out alone this morning, said I was going to morning mass, and my ex said he thought that would be ok.... LOL Now I know the trick!

It sounds like getting out
It sounds like getting out alone for a little bit lifted your spirits...you might have to go to mass more often...wink wink. I'm glad you've got some fun planned along with all the tests and scans, as Chen says 'we do what we have to so we can do what we want to'.

Big hugs for you,

Linda

So Sorry Carol
Your family is smothering you just a little bit (LOL).I have a friend who's husband is losing his battle with melanoma also your friends wouldn't happen to be in N.C.? that is really wonderful you have such a loving ex. i read a lot of post where some ladies don't get this attention enjoy it you must be a loving person to have your sons,ex's and sisters all taking time with you there paying you back now! really let them help I'm sure they don't mind if so they wouldn't be there. ~~HUGS~~TO~~YOU~~ Mollyz

survivorbc09 said:

You are so lucky to have so
You are so lucky to have so many loved ones wanting to take care of you, but, I do understand how you were feeling smothered. You might have to go to mass daily now, huh? LOL

You take good care of yourself and keep us updated.


Hugs, Jan

Carol ..
Giving up a part of ourselves to this 'damn' cancer -- is unimaginable, frustrating and debilitating.

Life as we once life, is no longer an option - whether we are facing chemo, rad's or surgery. Angry sets in when we realize we have no control of our health or living situation. My heart aches for you, our dear strong fierce WARRIOR, Sister in Pink.

Vent or cry away -- we are always here for you in sickness, and in health.

The love and devotion of your family shows us all how much you are loved and admired. I am overwhelmed by your support TEAM. You are truly cherished.

You are a 'never give in, or never give up' kinda of Gal -- I so admire you, and your spirit.

Continued prayers, love and support.

Vicki Sam

Oh Carol, I am so sorry you
Oh Carol, I am so sorry you have this to go through. I know what you mean about being smothered. I had a problem with that too. I learned to accept it. But I did have a talk with my loved ones. I just told them when I get up to do some thing let me do it unless I ask for help. Of course I then some times had to ask for help. And once they knew I would ask they didn't hover so much. And that made asking easier too.
I also had the Neulasta shot. I know it helps tremendously but boy does it make the bone pain worse WOW. And muscle cramps do you get them too I did. Independence is the hardest thing to give up I know. But thank god for loved ones that are willing and want to take care of us. I don't know what I would have done if it was not for my husband and sister. I thank God for them every day. Take care sweetheart I hope today is a good day.. Kay