My partner has breast cancer -- it's all pretty overwhelming

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Comments

  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
    #22
    Andie3 said:

    bad taste
    Sybil,

    Thanks so much for your comment...especially since you had the same drugs as she is. I've told her what you said, and she, too, was grateful. Question for you: how are you doing now? You look really good, and I just hope you're on the other side of all this. I'm so grateful to you (and all of you) for taking the time to be so supportive.

    What is surprising Pam the most, she said, is the overall aching she feels, and the soreness she's feeling in her mouth, especially in the back. I went to the store and got her some tom's toothpaste and passed along the baking soda/water rinse idea.

    I've also suggested that she set up a page on Caring Bridge--thanks again for that suggestion!--to keep people posted. I've got to go to work tomorrow, and I'm a little concerned. I've got people coming by several times during the day, and I've already made supper for tomorrow, since my commute is an hour, and I'm late coming here. I'm not sure how people manage if they're on their own. I know these boards must be even more of a support for them.

    Thank you all!

    Andie

    Hello again Andie: I forgot
    Hello again Andie: I forgot to mention, while your wife is getting her infusion, please ask her to chew on ice. It helped me very much - never got a sore. Also, she should use biotene toothpaste and mouth wash, only. She can't use anything with alcohol, because it would irritate her mouth. Also, she should bruth her teeth after every meal (and before bed time) with biotene. It helped me.

    Good luck.
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #23
    Hi Andie3 - thank you for being there for her
    I had the same drugs but my major complaints were my rubbery legs
    and my head. The legs just killed me. Since I liked to be active but even
    after a minute walk they looked liked elephant feet, swell up and just
    really hurt. And the rushing in my head, ears and the brain fog were
    horrible. I couldn't say words, I could picture them in my head know
    what they looked like but simply could not get myself to say them.

    What really helped me with my legs was acupuncture. I walked away
    feeling much better after each session. Also I did some gentle yoga
    to help me with the anxiety and stress of it all. For my nausea I drank
    ginger tea, really worked well for me. I had diarrhea and got dehydrated
    so try to have her drink lots of electrolytes for prevention. Coconut water
    is a great natural drink with electrolytes.

    And another thing be open with her and take off some of her burden.
    Because I am sure on top of worrying about herself, she must be hating
    what this is doing to you. It's tough for everyone involved. Open communication
    is key.

    I hope you will weather this together too!

    Hugs,
    Ayse
  • CAchick
    CAchick Member Posts: 277
    #24
    Andie3 said:

    bad taste
    Sybil,

    Thanks so much for your comment...especially since you had the same drugs as she is. I've told her what you said, and she, too, was grateful. Question for you: how are you doing now? You look really good, and I just hope you're on the other side of all this. I'm so grateful to you (and all of you) for taking the time to be so supportive.

    What is surprising Pam the most, she said, is the overall aching she feels, and the soreness she's feeling in her mouth, especially in the back. I went to the store and got her some tom's toothpaste and passed along the baking soda/water rinse idea.

    I've also suggested that she set up a page on Caring Bridge--thanks again for that suggestion!--to keep people posted. I've got to go to work tomorrow, and I'm a little concerned. I've got people coming by several times during the day, and I've already made supper for tomorrow, since my commute is an hour, and I'm late coming here. I'm not sure how people manage if they're on their own. I know these boards must be even more of a support for them.

    Thank you all!

    Andie

    Chemo in Fall of 2009
    Hi, Glad I could help...My chemo was in Fall 2009 and then I had 35 radiation treatments in Spring 2010. During my chemo, I had four infusions three weeks apart. I still worked. I had my infusion on Thursday afternoon, took off Friday, and was back to work on Monday. I stayed by myself during the day, and was fine. (That is me, but everyone is a little different.) Hubby would call and check on me, but I mostly just wanted to sleep/rest. I did have some aches and pains during the chemo. Hair grew back to a short pixie by April 2010, and I stopped wigs/hats. It took about three months after rads before I was not exhausted. But, now I am doing OK. My cancer is ER+ so I have to take Femara. It causes some side effects, but the neuropathy from chemo, the bad taste and all of that were gone by the time my hair grew back...
    Best wishes to you both!
    Sybil
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #25
    sea60 said:

    Hey Andie!
    Glad to meet you. I wish it was under better circumstances.

    Yeah, day 1 is okay, day 2...meh...day 3, ugh!

    Is she taking an Emend pill before Chemo, it really helps with the stomach sickness. Also, I took Glucosamine a few days prior to Chemo. These helped a bit to combat some of the side effects.

    But the bone pain is bad. Just tell her to rest. I used to feel like by back was broken. Try as much as possible to have her drink PLENTY of fluids. Eat cooked or organic fresh veggies & fruits. And on the days she feels good, walk for at least 20-30 minutes.

    After the 3rd day, it starts getting a little bit better.

    I'm praying for her and you for strength and endurance through this.

    God bless,

    Sylvia

    I will be praying for your
    I will be praying for your friend.


    Hugs, Lex
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    #26
    mamolady said:

    journal
    A journal is a great idea, some of the symptoms may not be related to chemo. That way she can sort through what really is chemo related. I did not keep notes but my husband paid better attention and reminded me that it was the same last round..... My oncologist gave me steroids and anti nausea drugs with the chemo to help with the side effects so I really didn't have too much trouble.
    If they haven't already, the doctors should be able to give her something for some of the side effects. I did know a gal that had a horrible time with the first round (she needed IV fluid and such) but did ok with the rest.
    Check the ACS website for foods that will help. They should have other tips too.

    Cindy

    Journaling is a great idea!
    Journaling is a great idea! I wish I had done it too. Praying for your friend and sending lots of hugs to you!
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #27
    fauxma said:

    So sorry you had to come to
    So sorry you had to come to the board but this is a great place for info, comfort and support. I did not have chemo so I cannot answer your questions but there will be lots of people with suggestions etc. Just know that we are all here for you. It is so good to have a partner that is supportive and caring and you certainly fill that bill. Prayers for you both.
    Stef

    I am so very sorry too that
    I am so very sorry too that you and your friend are going thru this. I pray all of the time that a cure will be found and this board will be shut down as a result.

    With that being said, welcome and please know that I will be praying for your friend.


    Hugs, Diane
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    #28
    mamolady said:

    journal
    A journal is a great idea, some of the symptoms may not be related to chemo. That way she can sort through what really is chemo related. I did not keep notes but my husband paid better attention and reminded me that it was the same last round..... My oncologist gave me steroids and anti nausea drugs with the chemo to help with the side effects so I really didn't have too much trouble.
    If they haven't already, the doctors should be able to give her something for some of the side effects. I did know a gal that had a horrible time with the first round (she needed IV fluid and such) but did ok with the rest.
    Check the ACS website for foods that will help. They should have other tips too.

    Cindy

    I am sending prayers for
    I am sending prayers for your friend. What a great friend you are to help her like this.


    Many hugs,


    Megan
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #29
    LoveBabyJesus said:

    Hello again Andie: I forgot
    Hello again Andie: I forgot to mention, while your wife is getting her infusion, please ask her to chew on ice. It helped me very much - never got a sore. Also, she should use biotene toothpaste and mouth wash, only. She can't use anything with alcohol, because it would irritate her mouth. Also, she should bruth her teeth after every meal (and before bed time) with biotene. It helped me.

    Good luck.

    I'm sorry Andie that this
    I'm sorry Andie that this happened. Please know that I will be praying for your partner.


    Hugs, Jan
  • Andie3
    Andie3 Member Posts: 39
    #30
    aysemari said:

    Hi Andie3 - thank you for being there for her
    I had the same drugs but my major complaints were my rubbery legs
    and my head. The legs just killed me. Since I liked to be active but even
    after a minute walk they looked liked elephant feet, swell up and just
    really hurt. And the rushing in my head, ears and the brain fog were
    horrible. I couldn't say words, I could picture them in my head know
    what they looked like but simply could not get myself to say them.

    What really helped me with my legs was acupuncture. I walked away
    feeling much better after each session. Also I did some gentle yoga
    to help me with the anxiety and stress of it all. For my nausea I drank
    ginger tea, really worked well for me. I had diarrhea and got dehydrated
    so try to have her drink lots of electrolytes for prevention. Coconut water
    is a great natural drink with electrolytes.

    And another thing be open with her and take off some of her burden.
    Because I am sure on top of worrying about herself, she must be hating
    what this is doing to you. It's tough for everyone involved. Open communication
    is key.

    I hope you will weather this together too!

    Hugs,
    Ayse

    Tough Day-- To Hospital -- Support here invaluable!
    First, I wanted to say that I've been reading through your comments on and off today whenever I had a break at work. They've been so helpful and so incredibly comforting. If I didn't (or haven't) singled you out by name, it doesn't mean I haven't appreciated what you've said. I'm taking all this in and feeling overwhelmed and incredibly sad when I see the sheer numbers of posts on this particular board.

    Pinkpalette, if you get this, how are you feeling today? Better than my partner, I hope. She had to go back to the hospital, because her symptoms were so bad. Thankfully, our neighbor was checking in on her and offered to drive her. I'm not sure she could have done that on her own. Turns out that, like you said, Suzanne, her white blood cell count had plummetted: they prescribed nulasta. Also, she got a rinse for these brutal mouth sores, as well as a short course of strong antibiotics. I guess it's hard to know when to call and get that extra help and when to just sort of hope it all runs its course. The white blood cell counts still concerns me; I hope that boost is enoughj.

    The ice idea during the chemo treatments is fantastic, as are all the prayers and caring!!!!

    Ayse, I liked the whole thing with acupuncture. I saw an acupuncturist and chinese medicine dr during my entire Lyme mess, and her help was invaluable. And ginger tea for the nausea. Another great idea. I've also (someone suggested this) double-checked powers of attorney, and I've made sure her records show me as her partner. Legal stuff there can be tricky.

    Again, I can't thank you all enough. You help me feel like we're not alone, and while I'm so sorry there are so many people who experience this, I really appreciate the shared strength and hope.

    Andie
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #31
    I'm sorry for you and your partner
    I had bilateral mastectomy June 2010. In August I started 6 rounds of Taxotere/Cytoxan (every 3 weeks) with Neulasta shot the following day. Fortunately I had no side effects from the chemo but did want to eat a lot because of the Dex (steroid). I had my treatments on Wed and Neulasta on Thursday. By Friday night I slept most of the weekend. I lost my hair about 15 days after 1st treatment. I found using Biotene toothpaste and mouthwash helped keep my mouth moist. I also used plastic silverware so I never had a metal taste. I drank a lot of water. After chemo I had 28 radiation treatments. I will keep both of you in my thoughts and prayers.
    {{hugs}} Char
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #32
    Andie3 said:

    bad taste
    Sybil,

    Thanks so much for your comment...especially since you had the same drugs as she is. I've told her what you said, and she, too, was grateful. Question for you: how are you doing now? You look really good, and I just hope you're on the other side of all this. I'm so grateful to you (and all of you) for taking the time to be so supportive.

    What is surprising Pam the most, she said, is the overall aching she feels, and the soreness she's feeling in her mouth, especially in the back. I went to the store and got her some tom's toothpaste and passed along the baking soda/water rinse idea.

    I've also suggested that she set up a page on Caring Bridge--thanks again for that suggestion!--to keep people posted. I've got to go to work tomorrow, and I'm a little concerned. I've got people coming by several times during the day, and I've already made supper for tomorrow, since my commute is an hour, and I'm late coming here. I'm not sure how people manage if they're on their own. I know these boards must be even more of a support for them.

    Thank you all!

    Andie

    Caring bridge would be a
    Caring bridge would be a great place to write down how she is feeling and what she is going thru. Many use that site.

    Hugs!
  • Andie3
    Andie3 Member Posts: 39
    #33
    cahjah75 said:

    I'm sorry for you and your partner
    I had bilateral mastectomy June 2010. In August I started 6 rounds of Taxotere/Cytoxan (every 3 weeks) with Neulasta shot the following day. Fortunately I had no side effects from the chemo but did want to eat a lot because of the Dex (steroid). I had my treatments on Wed and Neulasta on Thursday. By Friday night I slept most of the weekend. I lost my hair about 15 days after 1st treatment. I found using Biotene toothpaste and mouthwash helped keep my mouth moist. I also used plastic silverware so I never had a metal taste. I drank a lot of water. After chemo I had 28 radiation treatments. I will keep both of you in my thoughts and prayers.
    {{hugs}} Char

    good suggestions!
    Hi, Char!

    I was really glad you talked about your experience (you look great, by the way!) I'll tell Pam about the biotene and will absolutely suggest the plastic silverware, if she starts having a metallic taste. At this point, I think everything is tasting "off" to her, except ice cream!

    I appreciate the prayers and will pass them along.

    andie
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    #34
    aysemari said:

    Hi Andie3 - thank you for being there for her
    I had the same drugs but my major complaints were my rubbery legs
    and my head. The legs just killed me. Since I liked to be active but even
    after a minute walk they looked liked elephant feet, swell up and just
    really hurt. And the rushing in my head, ears and the brain fog were
    horrible. I couldn't say words, I could picture them in my head know
    what they looked like but simply could not get myself to say them.

    What really helped me with my legs was acupuncture. I walked away
    feeling much better after each session. Also I did some gentle yoga
    to help me with the anxiety and stress of it all. For my nausea I drank
    ginger tea, really worked well for me. I had diarrhea and got dehydrated
    so try to have her drink lots of electrolytes for prevention. Coconut water
    is a great natural drink with electrolytes.

    And another thing be open with her and take off some of her burden.
    Because I am sure on top of worrying about herself, she must be hating
    what this is doing to you. It's tough for everyone involved. Open communication
    is key.

    I hope you will weather this together too!

    Hugs,
    Ayse

    Sending prayers and lots of
    Sending prayers and lots of positive thoughts!


    Hugs, Debby

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