Scans today....freaking out

stayingstrongfortoday · July 2011

I have to go in for a CT of my lungs/abdomen this afternoon as well as an Echo of my heart. It's all baseline testing for a clinical trial I am hoping to get into....I haven't had scans since March and I worry it has spread to my lungs or liver or both. My anxiety is through the roof. I keep telling myself this is for information and if it has spread then that is good to know to treat it. I am no different today from yesterday, just more informed. It's not working!! My leg has been hurting so bad for a couple weeks (I have bone mets) and pain pills aren't even touching the pain. My doc doesn't seem concerned, my hubby (an RN) thinks it's a pinched nerve. I just feel consumed by stress in every aspect of my life and I know that doesn't help anything. Think good thoughts please. I need some peace. I think I worry cause I am short of breath but also anemic and have had 4 transfusions since end of May. ugh!

Lighthouse_7 · July 2011

Oh Sweetie,
I'm so sorry
Oh Sweetie,
I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. I also worry about mets whenever I have any symptoms.
I'm sending a whole bunch of positive thoughts to you as well as my prayers that you feel better soon.
Anytime you need to vent, cry or just talk just come here because we are all here for you!
Hugs,
Wanda

LoveBabyJesus · July 2011

Hi - I am sorry you are
Hi - I am sorry you are nervous and feeling anxious. We will be there with you in spirit. Please know everything will be OK. Always keep the faith. Someone posted a beautiful note on another post a few days ago. It basically refers to Jesus taking all of our anxiety away. He doesn't need our help. When you feel like this, pray so that Jesus takes all of this away. No reason to stress and worry if he is with us. We are here for you too.

When I feel anxious, I read psalm 20.

The LORD hear thee in the day of trouble; the name of the God of Jacob defend thee;

Send thee help from the sanctuary, and strengthen thee out of Zion;

Remember all thy offerings, and accept thy burnt sacrifice; Selah.

Grant thee according to thine own heart, and fulfill all thy counsel.

We will rejoice in thy salvation, and in the name of our God we will set up our banners: the LORD fulfill all thy petitions.

Now know I that the LORD saveth his anointed; he will hear him from his holy heaven with the saving strength of his right hand.

Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God.

They are brought down and fallen: but we are risen, and stand upright.

Save, LORD: let the king hear us when we call.

Please believe all will be OK. I am sending you positive energy your way. But remember God is there to listen too.

Keep us posted.

mollieb · July 2011

Moral Support
You are doing all the right things, so take a deep breath and relax your body one part at a time, starting with your toes and working your way up. It's only been a few months since your last scans, so it's not likely there has been a big change. Plus, from my perspective, knowing is better than not knowing, even if the results are not ideal. Can you immerse yourself in a trashy novel? Escapism is a great calmer. I'm sorry about the pain. I have a pinched nerve that is gradually (over a period of months) getting better. Fortunately I still have physical therapy for mastectomy and car accident related issues, and I get my therapist to pull my leg once in a while --it helps! Maybe your husband can help you with massage or otherwise work on the pain. Please, keep in touch.

chenheart · July 2011

I believe the emotional toll
I believe the emotional toll and our active imaginations and wonderings can be more debilitating than the actual physical ravages of The Beast and treatment! What we know, coupled with what we fear, coupled with anything else floating in our minds~ YIKES!!!! You are surrounded by all of the Kindreds, you know...we hold your hand, we rub your shoulders, we tell you silly jokes while you are half-exposed on an examining table in a freezing room waiting for a stranger to begin some procedure...visualize us. We really are with you. None of us makes this journey alone once we join this amazing family of warrior/sisters. Breathe in, breathe out~ and difficult as it is, try and remind yourself that you are living and being treated in 2011~ not in 1911....we've come a long way, baby!

Wishing you courage, peace and, as my Reggie says, may you put the GRRRRRR in Girl-Power!!

We love you!

Hugs,
Chen♥

laurissa · July 2011

Stay strong
I wish you good reports on your tests. I'm in the same boat with you. The worry of the unknown is the worst thing.

VickiSam · July 2011

laurissa said:
Stay strong
I wish you good reports on your tests. I'm in the same boat with you. The worry of the unknown is the worst thing.

Thinking of you during this very anxious time ...
prayers and positive thoughts coming your way.

Strength, Courage and Hope.

Vicki Sam

poplolly · July 2011

God bless you--you have had
God bless you--you have had a tough path already. I'm scared to have any tests and scared not to. I don't have any really good answers on how to live with the fear and stress of this cancer. I do things like spend time with my grandkids, work crosswords, paint, and anything else that comes to mind to keep me occupied. All of that helps but it doesn't always stop that feeling that the cancer is somewhere in my body. A lot of people say it gets better with time and I hope that's the case. I would want someone to verify that you have a pinched nerve. There should be some help for that pain, and it could set your mind at ease to know it's not cancer.

My prayers will go with you and my positive thoughts.....

Judy

Scans today....freaking out

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