My Dad has not much time

Hello Family, I am a one year 49 yr old survivor of IIIB adenocarcinoma lung cancer, so I am doing well, NED at this time!....the issue is my dad.

Stage IV, Large B-cell NHL, was stable for 4yrs, then slowing gained steam to this point. He has gone through two rounds of chemo, last one was R-chop, 6 mo ago. It did not help. He gets Nutrigen? shot every two days, cancer is in his marrow now they suggest. White blood counts are around 500, yes 500--not 5000! His body will not produce white blood cells properly.
Large tumor in nasal cavity (rare location doc's say), large tumor in stomach area, some small spots in lungs.

He will be 80 this fall, Doc's say chemo is not a good option due to quaity of life, he is getting rads to the stomach tumer as it is pressing on other organs. If you saw him, you would say he is just old and would think he has much time left. My dad knows his time is limited, he "feels" things are wrong inside.

Doc's say he has 3-6 mo. This is becoming surreal, my mom and dad just celbrated their 58 yr wedding anniversity.

Anyway...just needed to talk ! ps., his dad did of lukemia, his mom of lymphoma.



  • allmost60
    allmost60 Member Posts: 3,178 Member
    So sorry
    Hi Dave,
    I'm so sorry to hear that your father has not improved since we last heard from you. I suppose we will all know when our bodies are not responding well to the medicines, at least I hope so. It's hard to see a parent slipping away from us..I've lost both of mine quite a few years back. Take time now to enjoy his company and share memories together. You and your family are in my prayers. Love...Sue (FNHL-2-3A-6/10)
  • Kathykat
    Kathykat Member Posts: 1
    Hi Dave,
    This sounds so familiar. My father in law is 79 and was dx in 2002 with NHL- Indolent Stage 4 and just followed up and did scans until last year when it changed to highly agressive.. In the past year he has gone through R-CHOP which did nothing- actually had a lesion grow on his scalp during the chemo.. Then had Bexxar that helped with scalp/head lesions but soon after treatment had a fast growing tumor on his chest wall-- he was hospitalized in Feb this year and had 3 treatments of RICE..The chest tumor shrunk to about nothing and we were all excited.. however there was still tumor evidence on PET so Radiation was started in April.. He started having really excrustiating pain in the hip radiating to the knee. Bone marrow aspiration was clean and PET scan in May only showed the area on the chest.. However, his platelets continue to fall, pain was horrible. To shorten this a bit- he had MRI/CT to evaluate pain in hip/knee and it showed widespread mets in the bone. Yesterday, the options given were going in the hospital- more chemo that would have to be supported by several transfusions and high risk of developing infection that would be hard to survive. The second option is Hospice. Doctor did double up the pain med and give Decadron and my father in law is at home and feeling really good. I think he has made the decision to stop any further treatment.. His father died of Leukemia as well.
    There have been a lot of tears and even though he is not biological father, he has always treated me like I was his own. I am married to his son and have raised his grandson. My husband is the only son and he has a sister as well but feels it is his place to step in and do what needs to be done- which is totally what he needs to do. Today, he took off work and went to his parents and they discussed a lot of what my father in law wants, including writing the obituary to setting up trust for the grandchildren, etc. I do think we are going to have Hospice called and provide whatever services they can to make his last few months (hopefully) if not longer- as pain free and comfortable for him and my mother in law. Glad that you posted and it is so surreal. When you said that your dad feels things inside are wrong- my father in law said the same thing yesterday...My father in law has always been so positive.. he said that he has always felt like his cup was half full.. but lately his cup had gotten a lot smaller..
    Take care