How Can I Cope?

mixleader
mixleader Member Posts: 267 Member
in Head and Neck Cancer #1
Still having lots of facial pain and now my throat feels sore and swollen as well. I had planned on getting back in to see my ENT this week, but last Sunday, my Mother died and my world is in turmoil. I am very nervous about coping with the funeral home and the funeral itself today and tomorrow. Sometimes, the pain in my ear makes me wince and cower and I sure hope that does not happen during one of these times. I will load up on the pain killers and maybe a little ativan and pray for strength to get me through.

Roger

Comments

  • ratface
    ratface Member Posts: 1,337 Member
    #2
    I'm so sorry Roger
    Shortly after treatment my nephew called screaming and crying that his father had passed away at work from a massive heart attack. My BIL and I were good friends and he had visited just recently because of my cancer. It was quite unnerving to be standing over his lifeless body several days later in shock and disbelief. I was the one with cancer and the one who should or would be laying there lifeless. The funeral was very difficult for me both physically and emotionally. I had a very hard time as a casket bearer because of my weak condition. The whole ordeal brings back unpleasant and horrific memories. You will get through. It will be a significantly crappy number of days for you. I am sorry for your loss at such a vulnerable time in your life. Do what you must to get through. Ask for as much help as your family can provide and please find a strong shoulder to lean on heavily.
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228
    #3
    ratface said:

    I'm so sorry Roger
    Shortly after treatment my nephew called screaming and crying that his father had passed away at work from a massive heart attack. My BIL and I were good friends and he had visited just recently because of my cancer. It was quite unnerving to be standing over his lifeless body several days later in shock and disbelief. I was the one with cancer and the one who should or would be laying there lifeless. The funeral was very difficult for me both physically and emotionally. I had a very hard time as a casket bearer because of my weak condition. The whole ordeal brings back unpleasant and horrific memories. You will get through. It will be a significantly crappy number of days for you. I am sorry for your loss at such a vulnerable time in your life. Do what you must to get through. Ask for as much help as your family can provide and please find a strong shoulder to lean on heavily.

    Roger, I am so sorry, sending my sympathy.
    Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. I will light a candle for your mother and I will pray for strength for you in the coming days.
  • bpell0402
    bpell0402 Member Posts: 61
    #4
    sweetblood22 said:

    Roger, I am so sorry, sending my sympathy.
    Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. I will light a candle for your mother and I will pray for strength for you in the coming days.

    you will find the strength
    you will find the strength to cope. its is there even if you dont realize it. i am very sorry for your loss. sending prayers your way.
  • palmyrafan
    palmyrafan Member Posts: 396
    #5
    Loss
    I am so very sorry for the loss of your mother. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.

    About 4 1/2 weeks after I had extensive brain surgery, my father-in-law passed away. We lived in Ohio and my in-laws lived in Los Angeles. I told my husband that I didn't think I could make the trip but after much discussion I went. My husband needed me to lean on those 4 days, but he understood when I needed to lie down and get some rest. I tired quite easily and couldn't attend every family function associated with the funeral, but no one in the family complained. They all understood.

    Do what you feel up to doing. When you feel the need to rest, do so. You know what your body needs better than anyone, don't let what others may or may not be thinking get to you. They haven't been through what you have. Decide what is important to you and stick with it. This is a time to take your family or friends up on their offers of help. Don't feel like driving? Let someone else drive. Need help with funeral arrangements? Call in the favors that are owed you. But take care of you.

    I hope you are able to find the strength, comfort and peace you are seeking to get you through the difficult times ahead.

    Peace.
    Teresa
  • Pumakitty
    Pumakitty Member Posts: 652
    #6
    So Sorry
    I am so sorry for the loss. I pray for extra strength for you in the coming days. Much love and prayers coming your way.

    Kathy
  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #7
    Very Sorry Roger
    So very sorry for your loss Roger.....

    Thoughts, Prayers & strength
    John
  • fisrpotpe
    fisrpotpe Member Posts: 1,349 Member
    #8
    Be Self
    Roger, sorry to hear your loss. Loosing anyone is hard but not feeling well makes it harder. Just be self, many will understand, many will not even notice. God is the only one that can Judge, he know and he is there for you. If there are some that don't know they should and understand what you have been thru, going thru and add on top the loss of your mother. Feel as you need too, do as you need too and celebrate the time you have had with your mother along with not worrying about what other think.

    Prayers being shouted out for you, your family and all attending the services over the next couple days.

    Don't forget to hydrate your self as the days go on.

    John
  • Pam M
    Pam M Member Posts: 2,196
    #9
    So Very Sorry
    Roger,
    How horrible for you. I'm sorry for your loss. I was feeling strong and healthy when my mother died (before my cancer diagnosis), and was devastated. Asking for strength for you.
  • mixleader
    mixleader Member Posts: 267 Member
    #10
    Coping
    As always, thanks to all for the support and advice. I managed to make it through my Mother's funeral. However, last night, I was hit with some ear pain that was severe enough to seriously consider a trip in to the hospital. I managed to bring it under control with some Trams and a hot pack, but it was miserable. In to the ENT doc on Monday to see if he can help me some more.

    Roger
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228
    #11
    mixleader said:

    Coping
    As always, thanks to all for the support and advice. I managed to make it through my Mother's funeral. However, last night, I was hit with some ear pain that was severe enough to seriously consider a trip in to the hospital. I managed to bring it under control with some Trams and a hot pack, but it was miserable. In to the ENT doc on Monday to see if he can help me some more.

    Roger

    Ear pain is so miserable.
    I am so hoping that they can get you feeling better on Monday.

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