giving it up

2

Comments

  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    melbas2 said:

    not giving up
    No, my surgery was just over a year ago, and I've never taken pain meds. I went to both my appts today, and my onc wanted to wait a couple more weeks till my platelets come back up, I'm tired of waiting. So my next appt was with my doc who did the hemmy surgery back in May of 2010, and I told him I can't do this anymore. After my exam, he agreed that the waiting game didn't seem to be helping, physically or mentally, so he called my onc and they decided to do the port on Wed. He said the way my plates fluctuate, they may never get high enough. So I go in on Tues for plates and lab and then Wed i go in fir the port surgery. Then it's gonna be back to the hosp for anothre 6 nighter for the Atgam treatments. No guarentees that the results will be any different than in May, but at least we're gonna DO something. It's the waiting and not knowing that discourages me most. So please, prayers for early next week and hope that this time we find some answers. Again...couldn't have come this far without y'all. Happy 4th, stay safe, I eill post after the surgery and let y'all know what...if any...progress we're making. God bless. Melodie

    Hang in there!
    Hang in there, Melodie. You asked for prayers and you've got them! Please let us know how it goes.
  • patacz
    patacz Member Posts: 64
    melbas2 said:

    giving up
    I know...it was a self pity moment.I have so much to live for, sometimes I just wonder why it's so hard. I am now having to go back to the hemmy surgeon, I have diarehha constantly. I use the wipes, the desitin, the pads, the lidocan, and I've already thrown away 4 pairs of underwear in the past hour and 1/2. I can't go too far if I don't know where the restroom is.It's demeaning and embarrassing. Will I need more surgery? Wouldn't it be better knowing that sitting here daily shitting all over my self? Absolutely...it's just getting up the couage to find out. So I'm making my appt first thing in the am. I did have Merry Maids start today, and the stress relief of knowing my my house is clean was well worth. So prayers for the surgeon...My grandaughter will b 2 in 2 weeks and I will be there. Thanks, Melodie

    Thank God you were just venting....
    I was so concerned when I read your first mail, then I got to this and found out you've decided to keep fighting, what a relief, thank you. Yes, it is hard, and you are not alone, you should see my appt schedule, it seems like doctors offices, tests, etc. are my life now. But I am still grateful to be alive. Don’t despair, keep the faith and God will give you strength? I am sending you best wishes for good results on your appt. Happy 4th!
  • sissy310
    sissy310 Member Posts: 300
    melbas2 said:

    not giving up
    No, my surgery was just over a year ago, and I've never taken pain meds. I went to both my appts today, and my onc wanted to wait a couple more weeks till my platelets come back up, I'm tired of waiting. So my next appt was with my doc who did the hemmy surgery back in May of 2010, and I told him I can't do this anymore. After my exam, he agreed that the waiting game didn't seem to be helping, physically or mentally, so he called my onc and they decided to do the port on Wed. He said the way my plates fluctuate, they may never get high enough. So I go in on Tues for plates and lab and then Wed i go in fir the port surgery. Then it's gonna be back to the hosp for anothre 6 nighter for the Atgam treatments. No guarentees that the results will be any different than in May, but at least we're gonna DO something. It's the waiting and not knowing that discourages me most. So please, prayers for early next week and hope that this time we find some answers. Again...couldn't have come this far without y'all. Happy 4th, stay safe, I eill post after the surgery and let y'all know what...if any...progress we're making. God bless. Melodie

    Hi Melodie...My heart breaks
    Hi Melodie...My heart breaks hearing how much you have to go through with all this and I know how tiring it is to see doctors and have tests done and be poked and prodded. When you feel discouraged or down or want to stop and give up, come in here and vent. If nothing else, you will have many who will pick you up and listen and help you get the strength you need to push forward. Keep us posted on the surgery and blood work. Hugs, Marilyne
  • sandysp
    sandysp Member Posts: 868 Member
    melbas2 said:

    not giving up
    No, my surgery was just over a year ago, and I've never taken pain meds. I went to both my appts today, and my onc wanted to wait a couple more weeks till my platelets come back up, I'm tired of waiting. So my next appt was with my doc who did the hemmy surgery back in May of 2010, and I told him I can't do this anymore. After my exam, he agreed that the waiting game didn't seem to be helping, physically or mentally, so he called my onc and they decided to do the port on Wed. He said the way my plates fluctuate, they may never get high enough. So I go in on Tues for plates and lab and then Wed i go in fir the port surgery. Then it's gonna be back to the hosp for anothre 6 nighter for the Atgam treatments. No guarentees that the results will be any different than in May, but at least we're gonna DO something. It's the waiting and not knowing that discourages me most. So please, prayers for early next week and hope that this time we find some answers. Again...couldn't have come this far without y'all. Happy 4th, stay safe, I eill post after the surgery and let y'all know what...if any...progress we're making. God bless. Melodie

    platelets
    Do they tell you why your platelets are low?
  • melbas2
    melbas2 Member Posts: 108
    patacz said:

    Thank God you were just venting....
    I was so concerned when I read your first mail, then I got to this and found out you've decided to keep fighting, what a relief, thank you. Yes, it is hard, and you are not alone, you should see my appt schedule, it seems like doctors offices, tests, etc. are my life now. But I am still grateful to be alive. Don’t despair, keep the faith and God will give you strength? I am sending you best wishes for good results on your appt. Happy 4th!

    port surgery
    Hey Y'all. Finally some action going on. Since my platelets never get high enugh, I went in for an infusion yesterday, which was twice the normal time. Then I went in for the port today, they did lab, and my doc told me my plates were 108,000!! They never gotten higher than a 30 since I started all this. So the surgery was on. They did blow out another vein trying to get the IV in, but they finally got me hooked up. They had told told me they were going to put it in my left shoulder, apparently had problems so it's in my right. so far, no problem except for normal after surgery soreness, Then my surgeon took advantage of the fact that I was passed out and examined my bottom, too. He found a large hole inside mye that was collecting feces...yuck...that was preventing baths or creams to get that far inside to promote healing. So he cleaned it out, put a couple of stitches in and already my butt feels better that it has since before May 2010. So my hopes are lifted again, and my attitude is back to positive. Thanks for pulling me thru my funk. God bless, Melodie
  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    melbas2 said:

    port surgery
    Hey Y'all. Finally some action going on. Since my platelets never get high enugh, I went in for an infusion yesterday, which was twice the normal time. Then I went in for the port today, they did lab, and my doc told me my plates were 108,000!! They never gotten higher than a 30 since I started all this. So the surgery was on. They did blow out another vein trying to get the IV in, but they finally got me hooked up. They had told told me they were going to put it in my left shoulder, apparently had problems so it's in my right. so far, no problem except for normal after surgery soreness, Then my surgeon took advantage of the fact that I was passed out and examined my bottom, too. He found a large hole inside mye that was collecting feces...yuck...that was preventing baths or creams to get that far inside to promote healing. So he cleaned it out, put a couple of stitches in and already my butt feels better that it has since before May 2010. So my hopes are lifted again, and my attitude is back to positive. Thanks for pulling me thru my funk. God bless, Melodie

    Great news, Melodie!
    I'm so very glad to hear that all went well with your port placement! Also, I'm so glad your surgeon took a look at things down under and found the source of some of your problems. It's great that you are feeling better and I hope things will just get better and better for you! Please keep us posted and take care!
  • z
    z Member Posts: 1,414 Member
    melbas2 said:

    port surgery
    Hey Y'all. Finally some action going on. Since my platelets never get high enugh, I went in for an infusion yesterday, which was twice the normal time. Then I went in for the port today, they did lab, and my doc told me my plates were 108,000!! They never gotten higher than a 30 since I started all this. So the surgery was on. They did blow out another vein trying to get the IV in, but they finally got me hooked up. They had told told me they were going to put it in my left shoulder, apparently had problems so it's in my right. so far, no problem except for normal after surgery soreness, Then my surgeon took advantage of the fact that I was passed out and examined my bottom, too. He found a large hole inside mye that was collecting feces...yuck...that was preventing baths or creams to get that far inside to promote healing. So he cleaned it out, put a couple of stitches in and already my butt feels better that it has since before May 2010. So my hopes are lifted again, and my attitude is back to positive. Thanks for pulling me thru my funk. God bless, Melodie

    Melodie
    I am so glad you have your port, as I have a port also, now you won't be going through all that pain to reach a vein. Wow, it sounds like you had a fistula, an opening where you shouldn't have one. No wonder you have been in such pain, now maybe you will start healing. I hope this is the beginning to healing and wellness for you. One day at a time. I wish you well. Lori
  • Captain11
    Captain11 Member Posts: 88
    melbas2 said:

    port surgery
    Hey Y'all. Finally some action going on. Since my platelets never get high enugh, I went in for an infusion yesterday, which was twice the normal time. Then I went in for the port today, they did lab, and my doc told me my plates were 108,000!! They never gotten higher than a 30 since I started all this. So the surgery was on. They did blow out another vein trying to get the IV in, but they finally got me hooked up. They had told told me they were going to put it in my left shoulder, apparently had problems so it's in my right. so far, no problem except for normal after surgery soreness, Then my surgeon took advantage of the fact that I was passed out and examined my bottom, too. He found a large hole inside mye that was collecting feces...yuck...that was preventing baths or creams to get that far inside to promote healing. So he cleaned it out, put a couple of stitches in and already my butt feels better that it has since before May 2010. So my hopes are lifted again, and my attitude is back to positive. Thanks for pulling me thru my funk. God bless, Melodie

    Thank You, God
    Hi. Melodie... Thank God you are getting some relief, not just physically, but in the strength to keep fighting... Talk about the power of prayer!!!! I am so glad for you and your good news... This is good news... And I am glad about the port... you will find that not getting jabbed in the arm, etc all the time is a BIG help. Take care, rest easy. Keep up the good attitude. Try to laugh, it really does help... Keep us posted. God bless.
  • sissy310
    sissy310 Member Posts: 300
    melbas2 said:

    port surgery
    Hey Y'all. Finally some action going on. Since my platelets never get high enugh, I went in for an infusion yesterday, which was twice the normal time. Then I went in for the port today, they did lab, and my doc told me my plates were 108,000!! They never gotten higher than a 30 since I started all this. So the surgery was on. They did blow out another vein trying to get the IV in, but they finally got me hooked up. They had told told me they were going to put it in my left shoulder, apparently had problems so it's in my right. so far, no problem except for normal after surgery soreness, Then my surgeon took advantage of the fact that I was passed out and examined my bottom, too. He found a large hole inside mye that was collecting feces...yuck...that was preventing baths or creams to get that far inside to promote healing. So he cleaned it out, put a couple of stitches in and already my butt feels better that it has since before May 2010. So my hopes are lifted again, and my attitude is back to positive. Thanks for pulling me thru my funk. God bless, Melodie

    Wow. Fantastic news that he
    Wow. Fantastic news that he found that issue in your bottom. Maybe that was much of the problem you were having with pain and such. Thank God he found this. Maybe now you can heal there. I don't know what the normal is for platlets - what is the normal number? It seemed that you jumped markedly which is good correct? Was it because of the infusion or is your level starting to go up? Whatever the situation, hopefully all will get better. Keep up the positive attitude, that is half the battle. Hugs, Marilyne
  • suzynanny
    suzynanny Member Posts: 38 Member
    sissy310 said:

    Wow. Fantastic news that he
    Wow. Fantastic news that he found that issue in your bottom. Maybe that was much of the problem you were having with pain and such. Thank God he found this. Maybe now you can heal there. I don't know what the normal is for platlets - what is the normal number? It seemed that you jumped markedly which is good correct? Was it because of the infusion or is your level starting to go up? Whatever the situation, hopefully all will get better. Keep up the positive attitude, that is half the battle. Hugs, Marilyne

    melodie so glad you are
    melodie so glad you are getting some positive things now. Stay strong.
  • patacz
    patacz Member Posts: 64
    melbas2 said:

    port surgery
    Hey Y'all. Finally some action going on. Since my platelets never get high enugh, I went in for an infusion yesterday, which was twice the normal time. Then I went in for the port today, they did lab, and my doc told me my plates were 108,000!! They never gotten higher than a 30 since I started all this. So the surgery was on. They did blow out another vein trying to get the IV in, but they finally got me hooked up. They had told told me they were going to put it in my left shoulder, apparently had problems so it's in my right. so far, no problem except for normal after surgery soreness, Then my surgeon took advantage of the fact that I was passed out and examined my bottom, too. He found a large hole inside mye that was collecting feces...yuck...that was preventing baths or creams to get that far inside to promote healing. So he cleaned it out, put a couple of stitches in and already my butt feels better that it has since before May 2010. So my hopes are lifted again, and my attitude is back to positive. Thanks for pulling me thru my funk. God bless, Melodie

    Wonderful news about your
    Wonderful news about your surgery and port, you'll like it. They will no longer damage your veins. I love your new attitude of hope. Hugs!
  • sandysp
    sandysp Member Posts: 868 Member
    melbas2 said:

    not giving up
    No, my surgery was just over a year ago, and I've never taken pain meds. I went to both my appts today, and my onc wanted to wait a couple more weeks till my platelets come back up, I'm tired of waiting. So my next appt was with my doc who did the hemmy surgery back in May of 2010, and I told him I can't do this anymore. After my exam, he agreed that the waiting game didn't seem to be helping, physically or mentally, so he called my onc and they decided to do the port on Wed. He said the way my plates fluctuate, they may never get high enough. So I go in on Tues for plates and lab and then Wed i go in fir the port surgery. Then it's gonna be back to the hosp for anothre 6 nighter for the Atgam treatments. No guarentees that the results will be any different than in May, but at least we're gonna DO something. It's the waiting and not knowing that discourages me most. So please, prayers for early next week and hope that this time we find some answers. Again...couldn't have come this far without y'all. Happy 4th, stay safe, I eill post after the surgery and let y'all know what...if any...progress we're making. God bless. Melodie

    Praying for you, Melodie
    You have been an inspiration to me. We are all rooting for you so deeply. I am so glad you have a port. My doctor said that pain management is all part of healing management. If you don't take pain pills then your system is more stressed and it is harder for you to heal. Don't worry about getting addicted or anything right now. When your cancer is gone you are going to want to be rid of everything that reminds you of it. We are lucky to live in an age where we have access to pain medicine. You are in my prayers big time.
  • melbas2
    melbas2 Member Posts: 108
    sissy310 said:

    Wow. Fantastic news that he
    Wow. Fantastic news that he found that issue in your bottom. Maybe that was much of the problem you were having with pain and such. Thank God he found this. Maybe now you can heal there. I don't know what the normal is for platlets - what is the normal number? It seemed that you jumped markedly which is good correct? Was it because of the infusion or is your level starting to go up? Whatever the situation, hopefully all will get better. Keep up the positive attitude, that is half the battle. Hugs, Marilyne

    platelets
    Normal count is 150...mine would run 10 to 30. So whatever they did, it worked. Yesterday I couldn't move my arm at all, today a little better. But going to the bathroom without screaming...AWESOME. So my positive attitude is back. Thanks for all your support. Melodie
  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    melbas2 said:

    platelets
    Normal count is 150...mine would run 10 to 30. So whatever they did, it worked. Yesterday I couldn't move my arm at all, today a little better. But going to the bathroom without screaming...AWESOME. So my positive attitude is back. Thanks for all your support. Melodie

    Yay!
    I'm so glad to hear this Melodie!
  • nonichol
    nonichol Member Posts: 170
    melbas2 said:

    platelets
    Normal count is 150...mine would run 10 to 30. So whatever they did, it worked. Yesterday I couldn't move my arm at all, today a little better. But going to the bathroom without screaming...AWESOME. So my positive attitude is back. Thanks for all your support. Melodie

    melodie
    Melodie,
    I haven't been online for awhile. I am glad you have some of thse issues taken are of. Hang in there, sounds like things will finally be improving for you.
    Norma
  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    nonichol said:

    melodie
    Melodie,
    I haven't been online for awhile. I am glad you have some of thse issues taken are of. Hang in there, sounds like things will finally be improving for you.
    Norma

    Hi Norma!
    I just wanted to say hi and tell you it's good to see you on here. I hope all is well.
  • micki24
    micki24 Member Posts: 1
    HI
    you do not know me, but I

    HI
    you do not know me, but I will tell you to fight for your life, if you are NOT comfortable with the anwsers you get from anyone, then you keep looking until you find what you feel it right for you, only you can fight for your life, doctors will fight for you until they decide that your life is not worth saving... only you can fight to live. Get all your test results, get copies of all their findings, fight for your life, I am so sorry that your are going there this, I took care of my mom for over 19 years, and in the last three months of her life, her doctors gave up on her, I would of gave my life for my mom, but she taught me to be strong. Cancer sucks big time, but cancer is the biggest money maker for the companiies, the stockholders, the government and all the poltitics.

    Health care is ****, yes they will give you the basic tests but no test will be prescriped for you that costly
  • z
    z Member Posts: 1,414 Member
    micki24 said:

    HI
    you do not know me, but I

    HI
    you do not know me, but I will tell you to fight for your life, if you are NOT comfortable with the anwsers you get from anyone, then you keep looking until you find what you feel it right for you, only you can fight for your life, doctors will fight for you until they decide that your life is not worth saving... only you can fight to live. Get all your test results, get copies of all their findings, fight for your life, I am so sorry that your are going there this, I took care of my mom for over 19 years, and in the last three months of her life, her doctors gave up on her, I would of gave my life for my mom, but she taught me to be strong. Cancer sucks big time, but cancer is the biggest money maker for the companiies, the stockholders, the government and all the poltitics.

    Health care is ****, yes they will give you the basic tests but no test will be prescriped for you that costly

    Micki
    Hello Micki, I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. There are other discussion boards, such as emotional support, and care givers that other posters would probably like to discuss with you what you have gone through. I wish you well.
  • nonichol
    nonichol Member Posts: 170
    mp327 said:

    Hi Norma!
    I just wanted to say hi and tell you it's good to see you on here. I hope all is well.

    martha
    Martha,
    You are sweet. All is well with me.
    Norma
  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    nonichol said:

    martha
    Martha,
    You are sweet. All is well with me.
    Norma

    Hi Norma!
    Thanks and yay that you are doing well! Hugs!