Forever and ever...

luz del lago
luz del lago Member Posts: 449
in Surviving Caregivers #1
Since the passing of my beloved husband, I have had many reflective moments, as I am sure many of you have also had. One reflection has been how he always signed notes, letters and cards to me, "yours forever and ever". Weeks after he passed, I was very confused as to how this "life" and "death" thing works. And I suppose I was bitter in my grief. My thoughts were, "a lot of good it did for him to sign that way" or "there is no forever and ever".

A few days ago, it occurred to me that he will love me forever and ever. Forever is not a "physical" word, but more a "spiritual" word. When we said our vows, we vowed to love until death do us part. But who dwells on that on that most joyous of days? Who dwells on that while they are beginning a life together, home and family?

You know how many folks will tell you things like, "you will always carry him/her in your heart, they will always be with you"? And yes, that is a lovely sentiment, but when you are hurting so deeply, those words just don't really have meaning. What I thought back in those early days,"I don't want him in my proverbial heart, I want him by my side"!

Two days ago, marked the six month of his passing into his eternal life. Yes, eternal, as in "forever". So, I was hit with the revelation that, yes indeed, he will love me forever and ever!

I pray and hope that you are all healing and beginning your new journeys in peace and courage!

Lucy

Comments

  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #2
    Time
    Time does help us gain perspective. I'm at 20 months now. My grief has mellowed. It still hits me hard at times, but those times don't come as often. Thanks for your wise words. Fay
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #3
    Thank You
    Dear Lucy
    Thank you so much for posting. You make all of us other surviving survivors see the light. Many hugs to you. May God continue to give us all the strength and peace we all need.
    Tina in Va
  • karenbeth
    karenbeth Member Posts: 194
    #4
    spirit
    On Saturday it will be 2 months since Frank died. Frank often used to use the expression "I'll be with you in spirit"--if he was taking the day off from work and I wasn't, for example, or if I was going somewhere with out him, etc...Since he died that phrase has been repeating itself in my mind. Of course I want to be together in our physical nature--I want him by my side. But it is comforting to think that we are together in spirit, still and always.

    Peace,
    Karen
  • Rwasunshine
    Rwasunshine Member Posts: 2
    #5
    It's been only a month for
    It's been only a month for me and it is so hard. I feel like a part of me is missing. My dear sweet husband wrote me a letter before his death. It's intention was to help me with my grief. In the letter he reflected back on our life together and said how much he loved me and regretted that cancer was going to shorten our time together. I read it often and it really helps me to get through the days without him.

    God Bless,
    Robin
  • ButterflyLake
    ButterflyLake Member Posts: 44
    #6
    You lifted my heart!
    I am so happy you posted this. You lifted my heart on day it has not felt peaceful.

    I still hurt, I'll still grieve, but I do believe forever and ever exists. What a loving and sweet husband you had the blessing to have in your time here. : )

    Thank you, Lucy!
  • ButterflyLake
    ButterflyLake Member Posts: 44
    #7
    You lifted my heart!
    I am so happy you posted this. You lifted my heart on day it has not felt peaceful.

    I still hurt, I'll still grieve, but I do believe forever and ever exists. What a loving and sweet husband you had the blessing to have in your time here. : )

    Thank you, Lucy!
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    #8
    "Forever"
    Lucy,
    Wow, can't believe it's 6 months already since you lost your hubby. But then again, it's been 14 months since I lost mine. But it seems like so long ago that I held him in my arms that somedays I can hardly remember his voice. We just have our memories and if yours are as happy as mine, we'll survive. Our lives have changed, but our husbands will forever be the loves of our lives. There will never be anyone like them again.
    Take care Lucy & keep in touch! Carole

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