How long were you out of work

Dav1965
Dav1965 Member Posts: 132
I have been out of work since July 2010. I get ssi short term dissability. It pays all my bills with my wife working. She pays half the bills and i pay half. My problem is i am sitting home getting more and more depressed. I went from working 60 to 80 hours a week to nothing. I dont feel like i am able to go to work yet. I have an operation planned for August and now i have the socket that holds my jaw in place deteriated. They will have to operate on that i think. I am in more pain now than when i had cancer with my jaw and ear pain. I am going crazy sitting at home. I asked my doctor when i could probaly go back to work he said maybe October. I am just tired of not being able to do anything for more than 2 hours. After 2 hours i am just wore out. Any ideas. David

Comments

  • ratface
    ratface Member Posts: 1,337 Member
    About 8 months
    from diagnosis to physically being able to be at work. I say physically because mentally I never returned. I think if you are asking permission to stay home and can pay your bills you will recuperate much better at home. Certainly you are still in treatment. Cancer is a chronic condition for which we are always seeking treatment for some side effect condition. Your current condition is serious and warrants you taking it easy for as long as you are financially able. This is a very sloooowwwwwwwwwwwww recovery process and you are not yet done with the big stuff.
  • Dav1965
    Dav1965 Member Posts: 132
    Going crazy
    My doctor says i am doing excellent and i am thinking if this is good what are the other people doing. I plan on going to work as soon as possible. I am totaly miserable sitting at home.
  • RushFan
    RushFan Member Posts: 224
    I'm a bit different...
    David, sorry to read of your frustration and pain.

    I had surgery first...then radiation and chemo. First surgery: one lymph node removed, then a second surgery for biopsies, scopes, dental work.

    I was back to work part-time roughly eight weeks after treatment. Back to full time (50 hours per week) at about the 12-14 week mark.
    I certainly had to build up my stamina. The first few weeks back I might make it an hour or two at most, then drive back home and rest/sleep.

    I was also sick of laying on the couch. The fatigue was brutal.

    Best to you in recovery and all here,
    Chuck.
  • palmyrafan
    palmyrafan Member Posts: 396
    ratface said:

    About 8 months
    from diagnosis to physically being able to be at work. I say physically because mentally I never returned. I think if you are asking permission to stay home and can pay your bills you will recuperate much better at home. Certainly you are still in treatment. Cancer is a chronic condition for which we are always seeking treatment for some side effect condition. Your current condition is serious and warrants you taking it easy for as long as you are financially able. This is a very sloooowwwwwwwwwwwww recovery process and you are not yet done with the big stuff.

    Out of Work
    I stopped working in 1993 and the doctors said I would probably never be able to work again. I was heartbroken. I actually loved the work I did, Administrative Assistant. I worked the Legal, Medical, and General Office avenues and I loved all of them. So telling that to someone like me was hard to get used to.

    I am on Social Security Disability; started on that in 1996 when you had to do the waiting period, psychiatric exam, etc. They said that due to the cognitive issues I have, that working was not an option for me.

    As for you? You need this down time to build up your energy reserves for any upcoming surgery you may have scheduled. September and October is also the start of cold season and you need to be in the best possible physical and emotional health you can be in.

    I would take this time to pamper yourself. Start that book you've been wanting to read. Finish or start a project you have put off (honey-do list), help your wife around the house more, go to a gym and work out. Whatever will help occupy your time. I taught myself how to zoom around the internet and became quite good at researching my tumors, conditions and medications (which has helped when the doctors are stumped). I also started genealogy on my family and my husband's family. I found new authors I love to read.

    But take this time to do some research in ways to help you. You're worth it.

    Good luck.

    Teresa
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228
    RushFan said:

    I'm a bit different...
    David, sorry to read of your frustration and pain.

    I had surgery first...then radiation and chemo. First surgery: one lymph node removed, then a second surgery for biopsies, scopes, dental work.

    I was back to work part-time roughly eight weeks after treatment. Back to full time (50 hours per week) at about the 12-14 week mark.
    I certainly had to build up my stamina. The first few weeks back I might make it an hour or two at most, then drive back home and rest/sleep.

    I was also sick of laying on the couch. The fatigue was brutal.

    Best to you in recovery and all here,
    Chuck.

    I think I am finally, mostly
    I think I am finally, mostly ok with the fact that I am just not going to be the same workaholic I used to be. I can understand what you mean. All I did was work. I never had kids, and I worked 48 - 65 hrs a week. I didn't even go to the doctor right away (which was stupid) because I couldn't leave work. When I found out I had cancer I just kept saying, "can I work?" "when can I go back to work?" "wait- what do you mean I could lose mobility in my left arm??? What about work????"

    Then it really didn't help to have people asking why I wasn't back to work. I have had people say to me when they hear I'm not working, "Don't you want to be a productive person?" IMO helping HNC patients navigate through this nightmare, and finding my new friends I have made because of cancer is way more rewarding than working 48 hrs a week busting my keister running shoes into the store and selling stilettos and Nike to people who could care less you are trying to provide them with good service because you are a good employee with a good work ethic. And really, neither did my company care that I was a loyal, hardworking, ethical and trustworthy employee. If I didn't post for two weeks you guys would wonder where I'm at. My boss, didn't call me once during my ordeal except to find out when I was going to work again.

    I just had to send in another evaluation form from my doctor to my disability company. Hoping they don't give me a hard time or say I can work. I have all I can handle trying to do minimal cleaning, cooking and trying to eat.

    I was upset in the beginning that I could not work, but I have since decided that I am no longer a manager and that I need to just understand I'm not the one in control, and I just pray that I am always the best person I can be, and pray that I am able submit to a higher authority. It is what it is and I try hard to adjust to this new normal. Throughout these stressful years I have had, I find that when I (try to) let it go and remember that for me, it's "Thy will be done, and not my will be done" things seem to run more smoothly.

    I am hoping that what ever happens, if you go back to work or not you will be ok with it. In the meantime, is there any way you could do some volunteer work that might be meaningful to you? I have fatigue too, and it's hard, but I have managed to do a few things for my church and other things like support other HNC patients.
  • KareGiver
    KareGiver Member Posts: 301 Member

    I think I am finally, mostly
    I think I am finally, mostly ok with the fact that I am just not going to be the same workaholic I used to be. I can understand what you mean. All I did was work. I never had kids, and I worked 48 - 65 hrs a week. I didn't even go to the doctor right away (which was stupid) because I couldn't leave work. When I found out I had cancer I just kept saying, "can I work?" "when can I go back to work?" "wait- what do you mean I could lose mobility in my left arm??? What about work????"

    Then it really didn't help to have people asking why I wasn't back to work. I have had people say to me when they hear I'm not working, "Don't you want to be a productive person?" IMO helping HNC patients navigate through this nightmare, and finding my new friends I have made because of cancer is way more rewarding than working 48 hrs a week busting my keister running shoes into the store and selling stilettos and Nike to people who could care less you are trying to provide them with good service because you are a good employee with a good work ethic. And really, neither did my company care that I was a loyal, hardworking, ethical and trustworthy employee. If I didn't post for two weeks you guys would wonder where I'm at. My boss, didn't call me once during my ordeal except to find out when I was going to work again.

    I just had to send in another evaluation form from my doctor to my disability company. Hoping they don't give me a hard time or say I can work. I have all I can handle trying to do minimal cleaning, cooking and trying to eat.

    I was upset in the beginning that I could not work, but I have since decided that I am no longer a manager and that I need to just understand I'm not the one in control, and I just pray that I am always the best person I can be, and pray that I am able submit to a higher authority. It is what it is and I try hard to adjust to this new normal. Throughout these stressful years I have had, I find that when I (try to) let it go and remember that for me, it's "Thy will be done, and not my will be done" things seem to run more smoothly.

    I am hoping that what ever happens, if you go back to work or not you will be ok with it. In the meantime, is there any way you could do some volunteer work that might be meaningful to you? I have fatigue too, and it's hard, but I have managed to do a few things for my church and other things like support other HNC patients.

    I wish
    There was a place to "like" comments because this would definitely be one, Sweet!
  • timreichhart
    timreichhart Member Posts: 194

    I think I am finally, mostly
    I think I am finally, mostly ok with the fact that I am just not going to be the same workaholic I used to be. I can understand what you mean. All I did was work. I never had kids, and I worked 48 - 65 hrs a week. I didn't even go to the doctor right away (which was stupid) because I couldn't leave work. When I found out I had cancer I just kept saying, "can I work?" "when can I go back to work?" "wait- what do you mean I could lose mobility in my left arm??? What about work????"

    Then it really didn't help to have people asking why I wasn't back to work. I have had people say to me when they hear I'm not working, "Don't you want to be a productive person?" IMO helping HNC patients navigate through this nightmare, and finding my new friends I have made because of cancer is way more rewarding than working 48 hrs a week busting my keister running shoes into the store and selling stilettos and Nike to people who could care less you are trying to provide them with good service because you are a good employee with a good work ethic. And really, neither did my company care that I was a loyal, hardworking, ethical and trustworthy employee. If I didn't post for two weeks you guys would wonder where I'm at. My boss, didn't call me once during my ordeal except to find out when I was going to work again.

    I just had to send in another evaluation form from my doctor to my disability company. Hoping they don't give me a hard time or say I can work. I have all I can handle trying to do minimal cleaning, cooking and trying to eat.

    I was upset in the beginning that I could not work, but I have since decided that I am no longer a manager and that I need to just understand I'm not the one in control, and I just pray that I am always the best person I can be, and pray that I am able submit to a higher authority. It is what it is and I try hard to adjust to this new normal. Throughout these stressful years I have had, I find that when I (try to) let it go and remember that for me, it's "Thy will be done, and not my will be done" things seem to run more smoothly.

    I am hoping that what ever happens, if you go back to work or not you will be ok with it. In the meantime, is there any way you could do some volunteer work that might be meaningful to you? I have fatigue too, and it's hard, but I have managed to do a few things for my church and other things like support other HNC patients.

    hey sweetblood2
    hey sweetblood2 are you still on disability? because if you are I got a question to ask you because my evaluation is soon to come in dec to see if I am still disabled. My question is if I am dealing with neck and shoulder problems along with TMJD and hearing loss this all started after cancer treatments would that still being disabled or not? Does the doctors have to write this down? because I told my chemo and radiation doctor and they just said its all muscle problem but didnt bother write down the issue what I am having.
  • Scambuster
    Scambuster Member Posts: 973

    hey sweetblood2
    hey sweetblood2 are you still on disability? because if you are I got a question to ask you because my evaluation is soon to come in dec to see if I am still disabled. My question is if I am dealing with neck and shoulder problems along with TMJD and hearing loss this all started after cancer treatments would that still being disabled or not? Does the doctors have to write this down? because I told my chemo and radiation doctor and they just said its all muscle problem but didnt bother write down the issue what I am having.

    6 -7 months
    I had to be hospitalized through most of my btreatemnt and then again after.

    No way in hell I could have worked. It was 6-7 months before I could start work and even then it was a slow start. I gradually built up to full steam over several months but I do take it easier now and leave work at a reasonable hour (usually).

    Scam
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member

    6 -7 months
    I had to be hospitalized through most of my btreatemnt and then again after.

    No way in hell I could have worked. It was 6-7 months before I could start work and even then it was a slow start. I gradually built up to full steam over several months but I do take it easier now and leave work at a reasonable hour (usually).

    Scam

    Hi David

    This is one of the biggest problems with treatment and that is the need or want to do something and can’t. But try not to let it get you down healing take some time and soon you will be able to have the get up and go again.

    Take care
    Hondo
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228

    hey sweetblood2
    hey sweetblood2 are you still on disability? because if you are I got a question to ask you because my evaluation is soon to come in dec to see if I am still disabled. My question is if I am dealing with neck and shoulder problems along with TMJD and hearing loss this all started after cancer treatments would that still being disabled or not? Does the doctors have to write this down? because I told my chemo and radiation doctor and they just said its all muscle problem but didnt bother write down the issue what I am having.

    Tim
    I am still on disability. My insurance company sent a bunch of forms to fill out. Some for me and some for the doctor. I wrote down everything, every single side effect I have and gave it to my doctor. She filled out the forms, but of course not everything is on the form because they only ask certain questions and give limited space. There is a spot where they ask to rate how long you can sit, stand, how much weight you can lift, dexterity on left and right hand, neck or head mobility maybe. My doctor wrote on the form that she recommended life long disability. I know there will be know way I could ever do the job I used to do. I had a my semi annual physical scheduled with my regular doctor before I received the paper work, so I just had her fill it out. They also ask for all the doctors info that are treating you.

    I don't know what happens when social security reviews you. I would put down in writing every issue that you have and give it to your doctor. I did that because I thought it would be easier for her. She doesn't have the time to take to sit there while I tell her about the 20 or so issues I have. Plus i am terrible at trying to remember everything I need to cover with people if I don't write stuff down. I write everything down these days. I always have a note pad by my side. She said that was helpful and I left the paperwork with her over the weekend and she had it for me Monday to send out. She put down three or four of the main things and issues. Limited use of my left arm, dysphagia- very limited dietary intake, depression and anxiety (which I was being treated for even before cancer, since 2006), and memory imparment.

    I think I was told that social security reviews HNC patients again at three years if you still are not working, but I'm not sure.
  • timreichhart
    timreichhart Member Posts: 194

    Tim
    I am still on disability. My insurance company sent a bunch of forms to fill out. Some for me and some for the doctor. I wrote down everything, every single side effect I have and gave it to my doctor. She filled out the forms, but of course not everything is on the form because they only ask certain questions and give limited space. There is a spot where they ask to rate how long you can sit, stand, how much weight you can lift, dexterity on left and right hand, neck or head mobility maybe. My doctor wrote on the form that she recommended life long disability. I know there will be know way I could ever do the job I used to do. I had a my semi annual physical scheduled with my regular doctor before I received the paper work, so I just had her fill it out. They also ask for all the doctors info that are treating you.

    I don't know what happens when social security reviews you. I would put down in writing every issue that you have and give it to your doctor. I did that because I thought it would be easier for her. She doesn't have the time to take to sit there while I tell her about the 20 or so issues I have. Plus i am terrible at trying to remember everything I need to cover with people if I don't write stuff down. I write everything down these days. I always have a note pad by my side. She said that was helpful and I left the paperwork with her over the weekend and she had it for me Monday to send out. She put down three or four of the main things and issues. Limited use of my left arm, dysphagia- very limited dietary intake, depression and anxiety (which I was being treated for even before cancer, since 2006), and memory imparment.

    I think I was told that social security reviews HNC patients again at three years if you still are not working, but I'm not sure.

    sweetblood2
    Sweetblood thanks for that info and a other question I forgot to ask was does social security look at PET scan results because I remember my chemo doctor said that I would have PET scans every year for next 3 years to make sure the cancer dont come back. But like I was asking before about whole neck and shoulder problem because I can barely lift 5gal water bucket before my shoulder starts to fell like its on major fire and I never had this kind of pain before the removal of the lymph node and the cancer treatments.

    So I guess I will wait and see what they are going to review in dec.
  • luv4lacrosse
    luv4lacrosse Member Posts: 1,410 Member
    OUT OF WORK
    I had my surgeries the first week of August of 2010 and a month later underwent the 35 rads an 3 chemo. I could no longer go to work from end Sept. and returned full time near the end of December.

    Mike
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228

    sweetblood2
    Sweetblood thanks for that info and a other question I forgot to ask was does social security look at PET scan results because I remember my chemo doctor said that I would have PET scans every year for next 3 years to make sure the cancer dont come back. But like I was asking before about whole neck and shoulder problem because I can barely lift 5gal water bucket before my shoulder starts to fell like its on major fire and I never had this kind of pain before the removal of the lymph node and the cancer treatments.

    So I guess I will wait and see what they are going to review in dec.

    I really don't know, but I
    I really don't know, but I would imagine they would look at pet scans, as I think that they ask for all your doctors info and make you sign a release for all your medical records.

    That's the way my left arm is. I cannot lift much at all with it, and it's really hard for me to lift it up with any weight in it, like trying to put away dishes, or anything over my head. I'm always dropping stuff with that hand and arm.