1st Week post chemo

Radioactive34 Member Posts: 391 Member
The first days were a fog of steroids and exhaustion. I was tired, comatose, and twitchy at the same time. It was amazing the amount of energy that it took to justshift in bed.

Those first days were sheer terror, too. I was scared. The exhaustion was at a level I had not reached before and did not think was possible. Sigh, bodily functions were/are just painful. I try not to get an anxiety attack prior to bowel movements, but they just hurt.

They hurt deep inside my abdomen. The movements hurt prior to the surgery and discovery of cancer; I just thought there was a light at the end of the dysfunctional digestive system. I would lose weight, get healthy and the pain would stop.

The ramifications of actually dripping toxic chemo in my veins were constantly swirling through my head. Die, now or die later? Do I do this again, or is this just way too much?

I am much loved. The people in my life want to know about me and how things are going. They want to spend time with me. I cringe at the idea because I would rather just zone out on the bed or the couch. Just writing emails or keeping up on social sites, is exhausting. Yet, these past few weeks cancer has taught me time is fleeting.

Another family member just got diagnosed with cancer last week. This week is her surgery. I am sure she is thinking about our other cousin that just died of cancer, and of me. So while I may cringe at the energy it takes to write a quick email, I will do so. Should the unthinkable happen tomorrow, I want the friends and family to know I love them.

According to the doctor, this coming week is the rough week. So…let us see what happens…


  • lulu1010
    lulu1010 Member Posts: 367
    I have been there
    I reacted the same way after my first few chemos. I wouldnt even answer the phone. But it did get better. Initially I just knew I would be comatose for about 4-5 days and as I got more into treatment I tolerated them better. A week or so after the first chemo the blockages opened and the pain was amazingly less and the plumbing worked much better. I had been on liquids which was almost impossible to get down but by the time I went back for my second treatment 3 weeks later I was actually eating. It took 10 months of chemo but I am now in remission so it was all sooo worth it! Hang in there. Baby yourself and know that you deserve it! I am still babying myself and I might continue to for the rest of my life!

    Keep us posted!
  • jbeans888
    jbeans888 Member Posts: 313
    Hi Radioactive34,

    Hi Radioactive34,
    I just wanted to say keep your chin up even when its down. Chemo sucks, but it does have an end. At least thats what they tell me. I also get very exhausted even if its getting up to go to the bathroom and my joints/bones ache too. I can completely relate about not wanting to deal with people. I also have many people that love and care about me but I suck at calling people back. I even tell them sorry I just don't feel like it sometimes, when I finally do call them back. I think it is natural and cancer is a very scary word, but try not to let it ruin your day. It's okay to be frustrated but don't let it get you down. I hope you are feeling better.
  • Lea19
    Lea19 Member Posts: 29
    1st week

    You brought me back in time there with your post. I remember being in that hazy fog.

    My suggestion is to do only what you want and are capable of doing right now. Zone out. Do not feel guilty not answering the phone or emails. This time is about you! You need to use your energy to get your through this time. I promise that it does get better. I have been on/off chemo for 9 years now. I'm on again right now. But none of it was as hard as that first round following surgery. I remember watching TV was a chore. I couldn't focus to read a book. It is emotionally as well as physically exhausting. Please don't feel guilty if you aren't up for visitors etc. You will have good days ... and I celebrate each and every one!

    Good Luck!