end of the school year luncheon---interesting experience

lizzie17
lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
in Breast Cancer #1
I had the opportunity to hold a ten-day old baby of one of my young co-workers today.
She put her in my arms and I held her close, she is beautiful.

And then....the tears started rolling down my face and I am not even sure why.

Is it because I am ready for grandchildren, and do not have any yet?
Is it because I wonder if I will live to hold my grandchildren. That little sweetie let me hold her a long time. She never cried or flinched or squirmed. My other colleagues didn't have the same response. I wonder if this little baby could sense my love for her, and the love for a future baby in my life.

The circle of life.

Comments

  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
    #2
    Oh, Lizzie!
    I know what you mean. I'm so glad you got to cuddle with the little sweetie.

    Sue
  • grams2jc
    grams2jc Member Posts: 756
    #3
    Understand
    I find when I should be laughing and enjoying that I do, but I am also in tears because I am afraid I will never again see this holiday, or that birthday, or another grandchild.
    It seemed silly to me at first that I couldn't just enjoy things, but as I go on with this journey I find that it is perfectly ok .. but it sure does hit at some weird times.

    Cancer is a crazy ride,

    Jennifer
  • csr771
    csr771 Member Posts: 117
    #4
    Thoughts
    I think that we all hold so many feelings inside of us that sometimes they just release because there is no more room for them. Maybe holding the baby, smelling him and that wonderful baby smell, brought back memories..normalcy. Maybe it wasn't so much about what you may miss in the future, but maybe it triggered a wonderful memory from the past. I think that one of the most vicious things that cancer does is rip away at us as people. Cancer can be all consuming physically, mentally and emotionally...whether we are in tratement, dancing with NED or newly diagnosed.
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #5
    csr771 said:

    Thoughts
    I think that we all hold so many feelings inside of us that sometimes they just release because there is no more room for them. Maybe holding the baby, smelling him and that wonderful baby smell, brought back memories..normalcy. Maybe it wasn't so much about what you may miss in the future, but maybe it triggered a wonderful memory from the past. I think that one of the most vicious things that cancer does is rip away at us as people. Cancer can be all consuming physically, mentally and emotionally...whether we are in tratement, dancing with NED or newly diagnosed.

    Lizzie,
    Your post really
    Lizzie,
    Your post really touched me. I can see you holding that little infant and reflecting on the what ifs. I hope that you have many grandchildren because I can sense the love you felt for that little life and if you felt that for a co-workers baby just think how loved a grandchild of your own will be. You will make an incredible grandparent. I had a moment like that at my grandson's kindergarten promotion. All those beautiful fresh, young faces that will go out one day and change the world. I hope that I will be here for all his other graduations and great moments and for those of his little sister as well. But there is always that uncertainty in life and with cancer, we see our own mortality. We worry a little more about our futures. I think too, that we appreciate and enjoy the special moments more. We live a bit more intensely, care more deeply, love stronger, and savor each day more than we did before. And we should. Everyone should. Live didn't come with a guarantee, we are only promised today. I hope that we all have many, many tomorrows but just as you did with that small baby in your arms, you cherished the now, the present, and life. Thank you for sharing this moment. It was so special.
    Stef
  • lizzie17
    lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
    #6
    fauxma said:

    Lizzie,
    Your post really
    Lizzie,
    Your post really touched me. I can see you holding that little infant and reflecting on the what ifs. I hope that you have many grandchildren because I can sense the love you felt for that little life and if you felt that for a co-workers baby just think how loved a grandchild of your own will be. You will make an incredible grandparent. I had a moment like that at my grandson's kindergarten promotion. All those beautiful fresh, young faces that will go out one day and change the world. I hope that I will be here for all his other graduations and great moments and for those of his little sister as well. But there is always that uncertainty in life and with cancer, we see our own mortality. We worry a little more about our futures. I think too, that we appreciate and enjoy the special moments more. We live a bit more intensely, care more deeply, love stronger, and savor each day more than we did before. And we should. Everyone should. Live didn't come with a guarantee, we are only promised today. I hope that we all have many, many tomorrows but just as you did with that small baby in your arms, you cherished the now, the present, and life. Thank you for sharing this moment. It was so special.
    Stef

    thank you
    for your comments....life really is to be treasured each moment, and I agree we
    live them all, or respond--intensely now. And maybe it did bring back memories of my girls
    24 and 27 years ago.
  • Pinkpower
    Pinkpower Member Posts: 437
    #7
    Awww,I really think the same
    Awww,I really think the same thing is going to happen to me when I finally get to hold my new nephew who is now 2months old in a couple of weeks.

Discussion Boards