Leaps of Faith

Tethys41
Tethys41 Member Posts: 1,382 Member
edited June 2011 in Ovarian Cancer #1
I know everyone is feeling sad right now with all the bad news being posted on this board, and rightfully so. But Linda brought up an interesting point under another topic. We all make leaps of faith, everyday. We do things or plan things from which we won't reap the benefits for a day, for a week, for a year, that we at least partially believe we will be here to see played out.

So, I'd like to know what any of you have done or planned, with the belief or the hope that you will see it come to fruition. For example, I know an OC survivor who loves to fish and she bought a new pair of waders last fall, hoping to be able to use them this summer. She already is. Last September, I got a new puppy, with the hope that I will be around to see her grow old.

What have you done?

Comments

  • Christine B.
    Christine B. Member Posts: 137
    #2
    What a beautiful idea!
    I have a few things in mind that I'd like to do but haven't acted on them yet:

    A trip to France to see "Monet's Garden."

    A trip to Santa Fe, New Mexico, in the fall. I love Native American culture and the Southwest.

    A trip up the Central Coast of California to Moro Bay and some wine tasting.

    But ya know.....
    My son turns 21 December 27th this year, I want to see him celebrate that. He wants to go to Las Vegas, and I told him he should be getting reservations now since it's the holiday season. So maybe I'll go ahead and get reservations for all of us and a couple of his friends to be there for New Year's Eve!

    Thanks for getting me thinking, Kate!
  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    #3
    my future
    I am Buying new clothes this summer, something I haven't done in a while. I want to dress up and feel good about myself no matter what. I have no hair right now so I bought a straw hat for very hot days. I am going to go on vacation soon and then start early xmas shopping. I am still afraif of my illness but I want to live my life my way. Good post Tethy..val
  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    #4
    my future
    I am Buying new clothes this summer, something I haven't done in a while. I want to dress up and feel good about myself no matter what. I have no hair right now so I bought a straw hat for very hot days. I am going to go on vacation soon and then start early xmas shopping. I am still afraif of my illness but I want to live my life my way. Good post Tethy..val
  • LaundryQueen
    LaundryQueen Member Posts: 676
    #5
    poopergirl14052 said:

    my future
    I am Buying new clothes this summer, something I haven't done in a while. I want to dress up and feel good about myself no matter what. I have no hair right now so I bought a straw hat for very hot days. I am going to go on vacation soon and then start early xmas shopping. I am still afraif of my illness but I want to live my life my way. Good post Tethy..val

    Ugh, too tired to do much leaping
    Good topic...I wish I had more energy to plant a tree or even deal with a new pet. I feel like I'm doing well to clean the fish tank and the litter boxes & water the plants on a regular basis...when my sister was staying with me during my post-op recovery, she commented that there was a lot more to keeping up my household than her household. I probably have too many pets and plants. My dog has been "on vacation" this week and I now realize how high maintenance she is...of course, I used to be able to keep up with her.

    I had a complete blood count done that let me know that I can't blame anemia for my fatigue anymore. I should have asked to have my thyroid checked, too. My bone marrow indicator (ANC--absolute neutrophil count) is just now showing that it FINALLY got into the normal range. I wonder if that makes a difference...oh well...maybe next week I'll be leaping around...but this is a good topic nevertheless.

    LQ
  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338
    #6
    Love your thread!
    You made me stop and think and let's see I..... bought new clothes and shoes, planted annuals AND perrenials (sp?) in my garden, getting my guest bath painted, getting t-shirts made up for the Teal There's a Cure run/walk coming up July 4th, planning a big barb-be-gue ay MY house afterward and planning to take a trip to Maryland in Aug. to see my five year granddaughter get onto her first school bus. I can't really plan big vacations right now for I'm still getting infusions and have little time that I could be away.

    I love that you got a puppy. I have an eleven year old golden that still looks and acts like a puppy. Even on those chemo days, we walk, play and he stays right by my side.
    ((((HUGS)))) Maria
  • beth1465
    beth1465 Member Posts: 63 Member
    #7
    I'm planning to live to be 100!
    I always used to say that, and I still am. Only God knows how long I have, so I'm just moving on, doing all the things I used to do, and planning to be around for a LONG time! I went through a time where I was always thinking "well, I might not be here when that happens", or telling my husband what he could do with my life insurance money. But then I thought, if I see myself gone in the near future, I will be. So, I choose to see myself living to be 100, and until I know for certain this is not going to happen, I will continue on that path.

    Beth
  • azgrandma
    azgrandma Member Posts: 609 Member
    #8
    beth1465 said:

    I'm planning to live to be 100!
    I always used to say that, and I still am. Only God knows how long I have, so I'm just moving on, doing all the things I used to do, and planning to be around for a LONG time! I went through a time where I was always thinking "well, I might not be here when that happens", or telling my husband what he could do with my life insurance money. But then I thought, if I see myself gone in the near future, I will be. So, I choose to see myself living to be 100, and until I know for certain this is not going to happen, I will continue on that path.

    Beth

    I am saying I will be around
    I am planning to gp back to my home town of Picher, Oklahoma as soon as i get all my strength back.

    I also want to take my granddaughte rto disneyland in the fall.

    I have no thoughts right now of passing from this disease right away.

    I have high hopes and my faith is high and with God all things are possible. I am hoping to live at least 20 more years or more

    Hugs Lynda
  • beth1465
    beth1465 Member Posts: 63 Member
    #9
    azgrandma said:

    I am saying I will be around
    I am planning to gp back to my home town of Picher, Oklahoma as soon as i get all my strength back.

    I also want to take my granddaughte rto disneyland in the fall.

    I have no thoughts right now of passing from this disease right away.

    I have high hopes and my faith is high and with God all things are possible. I am hoping to live at least 20 more years or more

    Hugs Lynda

    Picher??
    My husband's family is from there. But, it is basically shut down. The EPA is clearing it out because of contamination from zinc mines. They are doing the same to Treece, KS. And the tornado a few yrs ago did alot of damage too. I bet you knew all that. My father-in-law and several other family members are buried at Greenlawn Cemetery near Treece, so we go down there occasionally. The last time we were there about the only thriving business in town was Paul Thomas Funeral Home. Wow, small world! And I'm with ya...we're gonna be here a long time!

    Beth
  • Tethys41
    Tethys41 Member Posts: 1,382 Member
    #10
    Mwee said:

    Love your thread!
    You made me stop and think and let's see I..... bought new clothes and shoes, planted annuals AND perrenials (sp?) in my garden, getting my guest bath painted, getting t-shirts made up for the Teal There's a Cure run/walk coming up July 4th, planning a big barb-be-gue ay MY house afterward and planning to take a trip to Maryland in Aug. to see my five year granddaughter get onto her first school bus. I can't really plan big vacations right now for I'm still getting infusions and have little time that I could be away.

    I love that you got a puppy. I have an eleven year old golden that still looks and acts like a puppy. Even on those chemo days, we walk, play and he stays right by my side.
    ((((HUGS)))) Maria

    Aren't dogs a blessing?
    Maria, I know how wonderful it is to have a dog around, especially when you're not well. I wrote this poem about my whippet (pictured at the left) after I finished my treatment and was found to be NED:

    Ode to My Whippet

    Dogs are a blessing.
    Connecting with us, in ways no one else can.
    With so many of which I am fond,
    My favorite is my whippet.

    My whippet has deep, soulful, Cleopatra eyes.
    She loves me,
    Though there are those who would say
    Dogs are incapable of love.

    My whippet runs, fast as a thought.
    Undulating like a dolphin,
    In her double suspended gallop.
    Streaking gracefully across the landscape.

    My whippet’s bat-ears come to attention whenever she believes
    I am considering something for us to do.
    Other than me,
    food is her passion,
    And she waits hopefully, bat-ears erect,
    For hours before feeding time.

    My whippet’s black and fawn, brindled coat is topped with
    A series of chevrons running along her spine.
    Her feet are narrow and dainty,
    And hold the scent of things across which they have recently danced.

    My whippet shows up in any room, to which I have moved,
    a couple of minutes after my arrival.
    Keeping track,
    Making sure she misses nothing.

    When I was sick with cancer and rarely left the couch,
    My whippet stayed with me,
    Even when the other dogs left for a walk.
    She stayed
    Risking missing out on some great adventure.

    My whippet waited for me, while I healed.
    More confidently than the doctors who treated me,
    She knew that eventually, I would be well again,
    With the same certainty that she knows,
    before long it will be time for dinner.
  • pattysoo
    pattysoo Member Posts: 170
    #11
    travel
    We're making a move to the Northeast for awhile to travel and explore together. Leaving on Tuesday, so the house is currently in boxes and I'm feeling a little anxious. But it's good to push myself to fulfill some dreams.
  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member
    #12
    pattysoo said:

    travel
    We're making a move to the Northeast for awhile to travel and explore together. Leaving on Tuesday, so the house is currently in boxes and I'm feeling a little anxious. But it's good to push myself to fulfill some dreams.

    I bought tickets to see
    Alan Jackson in August. It is a bucket-list thing. I splurged and bought the very best tickets.

    Karen
  • carolenk
    carolenk Member Posts: 907 Member
    #13
    kikz said:

    I bought tickets to see
    Alan Jackson in August. It is a bucket-list thing. I splurged and bought the very best tickets.

    Karen

    Planting a garden
    Everyone sounds like they are planning such fun for their futures! My "leap of faith" is kind of something that I would be doing anyway: planting tomatoes and flowers in my garden...not very exciting...I'll have to come up with something more future oriented and FUN!

    Carolen
  • jbeans888
    jbeans888 Member Posts: 313
    #14
    Well I haven't done it yet
    Well I haven't done it yet but I am gonna get two tattoos, which is funny because I don't even have one. I never could commit to something on my body. But this disease and the fight is part of me. So the first one will be a heart with a ribbon look to it and half of it will be teal for ovarian cancer and the other half pink for breast cancer since my mom
    is a breast cancer survivor. The second tattoo will go on the underside of my left wrist and it will be a plain teal ribbon and under it will say teal warrior. I want them in places I can see them so if I get down I have to remember to keep up the fight. The funny thing is that I have been thru so much already and I am still afraid of getting a tattoo. It's on my bucket list so I have to suck it up. Lol.
  • anicca
    anicca Member Posts: 334 Member
    #15
    jbeans888 said:

    Well I haven't done it yet
    Well I haven't done it yet but I am gonna get two tattoos, which is funny because I don't even have one. I never could commit to something on my body. But this disease and the fight is part of me. So the first one will be a heart with a ribbon look to it and half of it will be teal for ovarian cancer and the other half pink for breast cancer since my mom
    is a breast cancer survivor. The second tattoo will go on the underside of my left wrist and it will be a plain teal ribbon and under it will say teal warrior. I want them in places I can see them so if I get down I have to remember to keep up the fight. The funny thing is that I have been thru so much already and I am still afraid of getting a tattoo. It's on my bucket list so I have to suck it up. Lol.

    I just went to an annual
    I just went to an annual conference, which I need to do to get enough education credits for the next three years. While there, I bought expensive new boots and blades, that I will have to break in and get used to. I've also taken 2 of the 3 required continuing ed courses for the coming year, and begun paying my memberships and insurance. I'm going for my 9 month checkup with CAT scan as soon as I get home on the 14th, and I'm pretty nervous about it, but if I didn't continue as if all were absolutely fine, I think I would just collapse. I think some kind of faith is a requirement for functioning!
  • RGW
    RGW Member Posts: 60
    #16
    anicca said:

    I just went to an annual
    I just went to an annual conference, which I need to do to get enough education credits for the next three years. While there, I bought expensive new boots and blades, that I will have to break in and get used to. I've also taken 2 of the 3 required continuing ed courses for the coming year, and begun paying my memberships and insurance. I'm going for my 9 month checkup with CAT scan as soon as I get home on the 14th, and I'm pretty nervous about it, but if I didn't continue as if all were absolutely fine, I think I would just collapse. I think some kind of faith is a requirement for functioning!

    After much soul-searching, I
    After much soul-searching, I bought a house a few weeks ago. I got divorced 4 days before my cancer surgery in March 2010, so this is the first thing I have ever bought (other than my car) that will be mine, all mine. I have only been NED for a few months, but decided that it would be better to be in my own place instead of worrying about renting in case I get sick again. I worry about dying and leaving my 23 year old son to have to sell a house, but I try to be positive.
  • Radioactive34
    Radioactive34 Member Posts: 391 Member
    #17
    My leap of faith
    I orginate out of Texas and live in the Northwest. I have missed the beaches of Texas. This year I promised myself I was going to go to a beach where I could actually get in the water without needing a wet suit. With the diagnosis my time is going to be spent doing other things.

    So, next year I am planning a trip either to Texas or...more than likely to some Mediterrean beach. I will go to a place where I can get into the warmer waters. Once NED and healthy I am just going to try to live as normal as possible.

    R34..Yoli
  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member
    #18
    RGW said:

    After much soul-searching, I
    After much soul-searching, I bought a house a few weeks ago. I got divorced 4 days before my cancer surgery in March 2010, so this is the first thing I have ever bought (other than my car) that will be mine, all mine. I have only been NED for a few months, but decided that it would be better to be in my own place instead of worrying about renting in case I get sick again. I worry about dying and leaving my 23 year old son to have to sell a house, but I try to be positive.

    I just love that you bought a house!
    A person's home is a refuge, a place where you can feel comfortable and make your own. I love to putter around my house. I decorate for each holiday and when it's not a holiday, I go back to my shabby chic decor. I always say I wish I had more rooms so I could decorate more. It might seem silly to some but I get a great deal of pleasure from my home. Good luck and may you have years of enjoyment in your new home.

    Karen
  • VickiReed
    VickiReed Member Posts: 66
    #19
    Love this thread
    I love this life and hate the thoughts of leaving it so I continue to plan and plant. My husband and I planted a mini orchard this past winter and would like to add to it this coming winter. I hope to eat some fruit from the trees in coming years, also pecans. I have a list of places I'd like to go and people I want to see and continue with that. I am meeting my BBF from high school out in CA later this month at Seal Beach ,(even though I can't get in the sun because of the chemo) and the following month I am going home to PA for a memorable family get together in the Poconos. Hopefully I will be feeling well and can enjoy it. I told them I will come no matter if I have to crawl. I was looking forward to all those good eats from back home but right now my throat is so sore so I will concentrate on just enjoying good company.
    Vicki
  • lindaprocopio
    lindaprocopio Member Posts: 1,980 Member
    #20
    VickiReed said:

    Love this thread
    I love this life and hate the thoughts of leaving it so I continue to plan and plant. My husband and I planted a mini orchard this past winter and would like to add to it this coming winter. I hope to eat some fruit from the trees in coming years, also pecans. I have a list of places I'd like to go and people I want to see and continue with that. I am meeting my BBF from high school out in CA later this month at Seal Beach ,(even though I can't get in the sun because of the chemo) and the following month I am going home to PA for a memorable family get together in the Poconos. Hopefully I will be feeling well and can enjoy it. I told them I will come no matter if I have to crawl. I was looking forward to all those good eats from back home but right now my throat is so sore so I will concentrate on just enjoying good company.
    Vicki

    ACT like you'll be here, and lay your plans that way.
    I moved passed my 'statistical' expected life expectancy expiration date last November. And my attitude has been, just LIVE ON and lay your plans as if you will CONTINUE To live on. I find myself hesitating on some things. Like I have new little broken capillaries near my nose on my cheeks that I would like to have zapped with a lazer, but is minor cosmetic surgery too silly now for a woman who has been bald 3 times? & when I had friends over for manicotti and had trouble lifting the crepes nicely from the large casserole dish, I hesitated about investing in individual personal casserole dishes for next time, for should I really keep accumulating STUFF?

    And yet, I bought 3 expensive new bathing suits for my trip to Punta Cana, fighting back the hesitation that this was MORE than a lifetime supply for me. And my husband and I installed a new heated inground pool this summer, a huge investment for us, but a statement of optimism that I just might get more than one summer's use of it.

    My garden is the constant leap-of-faith maker. Each fall I have to decide whether it's worth planting bulbs for next spring. Even setting out tomato plants assumes that I will be here in 3 months to eat the harvest. In a month it will be time to start collecting larkspur seed and Sweet William seed, and that annual process looks ahead to me being here to sow those seeds in next year's garden. Do I have another winter in me, (since I'm chemo-refractory and with a CA125 of 8500 and extensive liver mets)? Another spring? I've decided life expectancy can't determine how I ACT and the cyclical order of my life. I prepare as if I will be here. And I've been delighted more than once to BE HERE for things I truly thought I'd miss. LIVE!!!!

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