My mom has passed...

yv1214
yv1214 Member Posts: 72
in Caregivers #1
My mom passed away Thursday May 26th at 3:30 pm. I haven't had a chance to log on and let you all know since it has been a little overwhelming with the entire family being here with me. The service and interment also took a few days since it was a long holiday weekend.

I am saddened and devastated for my loss, but no one lets me grieve or cry. They keep telling me that she's in a better place. I know that since her last few days she couldn't speak, eat or even take her medication. But I wake up every morning waiting to see my mother, help her with all the things that I took care of for her as well as around the house.

I thank you all for the support these past few months. I know I will come back here when I need a shoulder to lean on with the people who I know feel exactly like I do.

Yessy

Comments

  • Faithful_Angel
    Faithful_Angel Member Posts: 86
    #2
    My deepest condolences
    I can't imagine the heartache but i will soon face it myself. You need to cry It clenses your soul. You grieve the way you need to, your family will have to understand. Yes she's in a better place but emotionaly you aren't at the moment but will get there. I send virtual hugs. I can't say Im sorry as I know what it's like for me to hear that. It just doesn't even skim the surface of what you feel.. But know we are here for you day or night. Wonderful support this site has we have all been a source of strength for each other:) I hope for inner peace for you!!
  • karenbeth
    karenbeth Member Posts: 194
    #3
    condolences
    I'm sorry for your loss. Something someone here said a while back keeps resonating with me...that when it comes to grief, you can't go around it, you have to go through it. And it's not easy. Hugs to you.

    Karen
  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #4
    understand
    I lost my mom, yessy, April 25 so I do understand what you are saying.

    It takes time but you will realize these people mean you no harm and are not trying to keep you from grieving. You will find your own way to grieve, with or without them.

    Hugs.
  • DrMary
    DrMary Member Posts: 531 Member
    #5
    40 years ago
    I lost my father to cancer, and a year ago, my husband lost his father as well. They are both in a better place, as their quality of life had deteriorated, but we still grieve. I still, after 40 years, miss my father all the time; I would not have had him linger but I always regret that I can't have him with me.

    Folks who don't want you to grieve are just not comfortable with your sadness. I hope you find a way to work through your grief without them, as they just don't get it.

    We'll keep you and your mother in our thoughts tonight.
  • micgrace
    micgrace Member Posts: 131
    #6
    karenbeth said:

    condolences
    I'm sorry for your loss. Something someone here said a while back keeps resonating with me...that when it comes to grief, you can't go around it, you have to go through it. And it's not easy. Hugs to you.

    Karen

    my condolances
    I am deeply sorry for your loss. May mum be at peace now free of all pain and suffering.
  • mswijiknyc
    mswijiknyc Member Posts: 421
    #7
    Beidh sí leat i gcónaí, is breá léi riamh buan
    I'm so sorry she's gone, but not sorry she is out of pain. Those who say that do mean well, but I'm thinking the best thing they could do is sit with you while you cry and not say a word.

    We are all here for you anytime you need. Be good to yourself

    Loves,
    April
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    #8
    Sorry
    So sorry about your mom's passing. Please try and remember all the happy times you had with her & forget the days you saw her suffer. Hope you make it through these horrible days. Carole
  • Lelia
    Lelia Member Posts: 98
    #9
    I understand.
    You are so right and I love how you expressed it. Serving a loved one--especially a parent and for a daughter, especially your mother--as primary caregiver is all-consuming. Life doesn't just return to 'normal' after the funeral is over and visiting family leaves town.

    The life-giving and intimate things you did for your mom become second nature, or even first. Those experiences will sustain you as your life moves forward; you're different now, a better, stronger kind of different.

    I'm so glad you posted, remember we are here for you. I hope you'll write to me if I can be of service or provide a listening post -- prayers/good thoughts, Lelia
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #10
    Sorry
    I was gone for a week and didn't check these boards. I am very sorry for your loss. I got really tired of hearing that my husband was in a better place. Sure, I was glad he was no longer in pain, but I wanted him back. His place here with me was just fine, thank you. I make a point of never saying that to others. Yes, I believe that Doug is in a good place now. My faith tells me that, but it doesn't make me any less lonely. It doesn't mean that I don't miss him every day. It doesn't change the need to grieve or the deep sadness we feel when we lose someone we love. Take care of yourself now. Fay
  • mom_of_2
    mom_of_2 Member Posts: 30
    #11
    my sincere condolences
    Everyone grieves differently, I wish your family would understand that. Crying isn't a sign of weakness. My father passed away a month ago, and there are times I start crying for no good reason, just something popped in my head that made me think of him. I miss him everyday, and wish he was still here, just not sick anymore, but the person he used to be. I'm sure you feel the same way about your mother. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Chrissy
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #12
    mom_of_2 said:

    my sincere condolences
    Everyone grieves differently, I wish your family would understand that. Crying isn't a sign of weakness. My father passed away a month ago, and there are times I start crying for no good reason, just something popped in my head that made me think of him. I miss him everyday, and wish he was still here, just not sick anymore, but the person he used to be. I'm sure you feel the same way about your mother. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Chrissy

    So sorry
    My dad passed in April. I know he's in a better place, but I cry because I will never see his smiling face. Won't hear his voice. I cry for me. In time it gets better, but you will always miss your mom.
  • yv1214
    yv1214 Member Posts: 72
    #13
    ms.sunshine said:

    So sorry
    My dad passed in April. I know he's in a better place, but I cry because I will never see his smiling face. Won't hear his voice. I cry for me. In time it gets better, but you will always miss your mom.

    Thank you all...
    For these amazing posts that I hadn't had a chance to read until now. I've been in Dominican Republic for the past few weeks dealing with the properties and such that my mom owned there. Although there is internet at the house my laptop completely combusted while there and so I've been with out cyberspace to keep me company.

    Every day is a different day in the way I feel. Some better than others, but the truth today has been specially hard. Not for any particular reason it just has been. I am glad to know that you all know how I feel and that it's ok for it.

    Hugs to you all:)
  • ButterflyLake
    ButterflyLake Member Posts: 44
    #14
    yv1214 said:

    Thank you all...
    For these amazing posts that I hadn't had a chance to read until now. I've been in Dominican Republic for the past few weeks dealing with the properties and such that my mom owned there. Although there is internet at the house my laptop completely combusted while there and so I've been with out cyberspace to keep me company.

    Every day is a different day in the way I feel. Some better than others, but the truth today has been specially hard. Not for any particular reason it just has been. I am glad to know that you all know how I feel and that it's ok for it.

    Hugs to you all:)

    YV1214
    Sending love and blessings your way...

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