Where did the time go?

kellyh33
kellyh33 Member Posts: 287
in Ovarian Cancer #1
I cannot believe tomorrow it will be one year since we first heard the big C word. I will never forget it. I was supposed to go away for the weekend with some friends and my nephew was going to take my mom/dad to the doctor. Dad is blind so he can't drive. Something told me to cancel my plans and go with them.
I remember the doctor telling mom she had fluid mass on her left ovary, another small one near her liver and lungs. She told my parents she was sending her to see a gyn/oncologist. My parents only heard gynecologist. I knew right then that mom had cancer and i didn't know how to tell them that she was seeing an oncologist. I never did, i knew Mom wouldn't have her appointment for eight days. I knew she would be devastated and upset, so i kept it to myself. I have never regretted this decision.
It amazes me that we have gotten through this last year. There has been a few highs but honestly mostly lows. I hope the next year can go by a little slower. Mom was told 12-18 months. I choose to believe they are wrong. Mom seems better now then she did when she was first diagnosed. At least now she can eat even though she never did put any of the 45 lbs lost back on. At least she has hair so she can feel a little better about herself.
I pray to God she has even just one really good summer so we can look back on it and smile.
I love you Mom, you are my hero.
Kelly

Comments

  • Mum2bellaandwilliam
    Mum2bellaandwilliam Member Posts: 412
    #2
    Your mums story is almost
    Your mums story is almost the same as my mums ,for one year we have had the big C hanging over our heads :( .it was in May mum found out.
    My mum has also been told 12 months, well actually the onc got me on my own and told me this, he felt one of the family needed to be 'prepared'.I have chosen not to tell mum this , I have no idea if she knows this, she doesn't go on the internet, and either my sister or I have been at every appointment with her.I am not going to tell her, she seems quite positive most of the time so I am not going to put her on a downer.
    My mum is fighter and I am sure to god she will prove him wrong! Go mums!!!
    Kelly you are so right about our mums being heroes, I treasure every moment with her, she is an amazing lady.

    Liz. x
  • Anita1216
    Anita1216 Member Posts: 58
    #3
    We have only been on this
    We have only been on this path since February, but time sure does seem to be moving very quickly =(

    Mom has lost alot of weight and looks so frail. She is constantly weak and I wonder how much time she really does have. Her last appointment was actually encouraging, the ascities has not come back, so we are continuing treatment. Sometimes the cure is much worse than the disease, its hard to fight.

    Cancer is such a huge monster, it never seems to go away and all you do is worry. We just hope for mom to be to be happy and comfortable in the time left to her. My sadness is profound and there are really no words to describe this awful feeling. Im sure both of you understand.

    We can never lose hope and faith. I know things look grim, but I refuse to ever stop waiting for moms miracle.
    Anita
  • kellyh33
    kellyh33 Member Posts: 287
    #4
    Mum2bellaandwilliam said:

    Your mums story is almost
    Your mums story is almost the same as my mums ,for one year we have had the big C hanging over our heads :( .it was in May mum found out.
    My mum has also been told 12 months, well actually the onc got me on my own and told me this, he felt one of the family needed to be 'prepared'.I have chosen not to tell mum this , I have no idea if she knows this, she doesn't go on the internet, and either my sister or I have been at every appointment with her.I am not going to tell her, she seems quite positive most of the time so I am not going to put her on a downer.
    My mum is fighter and I am sure to god she will prove him wrong! Go mums!!!
    Kelly you are so right about our mums being heroes, I treasure every moment with her, she is an amazing lady.

    Liz. x

    Thank you
    It is not an easy journeyt to see someone we love fight so hard and still not have things go in their favour.
    I am worried about my Mom because her left foot has been swelling over the last week. It is not swollen all the time but I am scared the doxil is damaging her heart. I hate this disease and what it does to the person and the family.
    I had an arguement with my Dad tonight and i am still seething....
    Kelly
  • kellyh33
    kellyh33 Member Posts: 287
    #5
    Anita1216 said:

    We have only been on this
    We have only been on this path since February, but time sure does seem to be moving very quickly =(

    Mom has lost alot of weight and looks so frail. She is constantly weak and I wonder how much time she really does have. Her last appointment was actually encouraging, the ascities has not come back, so we are continuing treatment. Sometimes the cure is much worse than the disease, its hard to fight.

    Cancer is such a huge monster, it never seems to go away and all you do is worry. We just hope for mom to be to be happy and comfortable in the time left to her. My sadness is profound and there are really no words to describe this awful feeling. Im sure both of you understand.

    We can never lose hope and faith. I know things look grim, but I refuse to ever stop waiting for moms miracle.
    Anita

    I am hoping too
    I have been waiting for a miracle for mom for a year now and I am getting impatient. She deserves her miracle. She was a good mom to five kids, a good wife and a great friend. She always ate right, never smoked, rarely drank and exercised way more then i ever have (5km daily on her treadmill, plus one hour walk with her dog and 2-3 hour bike ride everyday all year except in the winter).
    Mom lost 45 lbs and is now a frail 90 lbs. I took her out yesterday and she began to tremble and was utterly exhausted after 10 minutes. Like your mom the ascities has not come back since they attempted surgery September 4th. Everyday I feel differently, somedays i feel like her 3rd line treatment is starting to work and other days I don't. I am uncertain how I feel today.
    I just miss my Mom and the person she used to be, but what is worse I know she misses her too. Today she offered me her clothes that no longer fit. I will not take them. Some are things she never got the chance to wear. I feel like if i accept them they I am telling her that she will never wear them again. I don't want to believe it's true, it's too hard. I don't want her to give up. I feel like she is starting to accept things but i hate it.
    Thanks for letting me rage.
    Kelly
  • kellyh33
    kellyh33 Member Posts: 287
    #6
    Anita1216 said:

    We have only been on this
    We have only been on this path since February, but time sure does seem to be moving very quickly =(

    Mom has lost alot of weight and looks so frail. She is constantly weak and I wonder how much time she really does have. Her last appointment was actually encouraging, the ascities has not come back, so we are continuing treatment. Sometimes the cure is much worse than the disease, its hard to fight.

    Cancer is such a huge monster, it never seems to go away and all you do is worry. We just hope for mom to be to be happy and comfortable in the time left to her. My sadness is profound and there are really no words to describe this awful feeling. Im sure both of you understand.

    We can never lose hope and faith. I know things look grim, but I refuse to ever stop waiting for moms miracle.
    Anita

    I am hoping too
    I have been waiting for a miracle for mom for a year now and I am getting impatient. She deserves her miracle. She was a good mom to five kids, a good wife and a great friend. She always ate right, never smoked, rarely drank and exercised way more then i ever have (5km daily on her treadmill, plus one hour walk with her dog and 2-3 hour bike ride everyday all year except in the winter).
    Mom lost 45 lbs and is now a frail 90 lbs. I took her out yesterday and she began to tremble and was utterly exhausted after 10 minutes. Like your mom the ascities has not come back since they attempted surgery September 4th. Everyday I feel differently, somedays i feel like her 3rd line treatment is starting to work and other days I don't. I am uncertain how I feel today.
    I just miss my Mom and the person she used to be, but what is worse I know she misses her too. Today she offered me her clothes that no longer fit. I will not take them. Some are things she never got the chance to wear. I feel like if i accept them they I am telling her that she will never wear them again. I don't want to believe it's true, it's too hard. I don't want her to give up. I feel like she is starting to accept things but i hate it.
    Thanks for letting me rage.
    Kelly

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