found a lump in my left breast again

dmdudra
dmdudra Member Posts: 50
edited June 2011 in Breast Cancer #1
Sorry I have not been on here for a while I was hoping all this was behind me. I found a lump in my left breast a month ago and was hoping for the best. Today I went and seen my oncologist, he tells me to not worry that we will do some test, CT scan, Bone scan and mammogram. Sorry but when I am told not to worry, I worry... so here we go again. I can not afford to do this all over again. I spent all of 2009 fighting breast cancer for what? so that a year and five months later I could go through this again. Sorry but does not seem worth it to me. My boyfriend is upset and said that this is not fair. Well I agree I have two more kids I want to watch grow up one will be 16yr this June and my daughter Beautiful daughter just turned 10yr in January. I do not what to lose my hair again. I guess I will hope for the best but expect the worst. Please tell me what your thoughts are on this subject.. is it worth fighting one year to get a year and five months... I really want to know..
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Comments

  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    Absolutely!
    You can't afford NOT to do this again....IF necessary...,!!!!!!!! Try to wait and see what the test results show...I had a terrible scare 1 year after my first diagnoses...thought the same thoughts..." here I go again"...turned out to be nothing.... it's normal to be terrified again...but again, wait for test results...I know, easy for me to say...

    You're children need you...reason enough to "do it again". If you have to...
    Please keep posting...we care..
    Wishing you the best.
    Hugs,
    Nancy
  • jessiesmom1
    jessiesmom1 Member Posts: 915 Member
    Not AGAIN?!
    I am SO sorry you have had a recurrence and are back on the Boards again. Only you can truly know what the treatment was like for you and whether you are willing to go through it again. I know that there are just some days where you want to give up. My daughter had just turned 17 and my son was 19 at the time of my diagnosis. Everything I went through was for them. I wanted to see my daughter graduate from high school - I did. I wanted to help her move into her 1st college dorm room - I did. I wanted to go to Parents Weekend - I did. I wanted to see the new house my son rented at college - I did. If I had given up and let those lymph nodes grow then I would have missed all those things. They would have missed another year of having a mom who loved them. Losing hair is definitely traumatic but it DOES grow back. Baldness is temporary - death is permanent. There are a number of Stage III and IV survivors on this Board. I hope they chime in with their experiences. Only you (and your doctors) can decide.

    Please keep in touch.

    IRENE
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    MAJW said:

    Absolutely!
    You can't afford NOT to do this again....IF necessary...,!!!!!!!! Try to wait and see what the test results show...I had a terrible scare 1 year after my first diagnoses...thought the same thoughts..." here I go again"...turned out to be nothing.... it's normal to be terrified again...but again, wait for test results...I know, easy for me to say...

    You're children need you...reason enough to "do it again". If you have to...
    Please keep posting...we care..
    Wishing you the best.
    Hugs,
    Nancy

    Ps...
    I just read your profile you had Bc in the left breast...since this is the same breast, it may just be scar tissue....I have that myself in the bc breast.
  • RozHopkins
    RozHopkins Member Posts: 578 Member
    Lump
    Of course you would worry. If it turns out to be nothing, wonderful. If not, we all understand the trauma. Like most ladies fear initial onset of bc, those who have conquered it once live in fear of recurrence. Yes, you can do it. Your children are young therefore guessing you are younger than me, therefore, lots of life, love, motherhood, everything to look forward to. If you can, please let us know how you get on. Good luck. Roz
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    MAJW said:

    Absolutely!
    You can't afford NOT to do this again....IF necessary...,!!!!!!!! Try to wait and see what the test results show...I had a terrible scare 1 year after my first diagnoses...thought the same thoughts..." here I go again"...turned out to be nothing.... it's normal to be terrified again...but again, wait for test results...I know, easy for me to say...

    You're children need you...reason enough to "do it again". If you have to...
    Please keep posting...we care..
    Wishing you the best.
    Hugs,
    Nancy

    Praying that it is NOT
    Praying that it is NOT cancer again. I know you are thinking the worst, we all would, but, try to stay positive.

    Good luck with your tests and let us know what your results are.


    Hugs, Megan
  • Lynn Smith
    Lynn Smith Member Posts: 1,264 Member

    Lump
    Of course you would worry. If it turns out to be nothing, wonderful. If not, we all understand the trauma. Like most ladies fear initial onset of bc, those who have conquered it once live in fear of recurrence. Yes, you can do it. Your children are young therefore guessing you are younger than me, therefore, lots of life, love, motherhood, everything to look forward to. If you can, please let us know how you get on. Good luck. Roz

    Worry
    Worry but remember it may not be anything serious.Yes it is worth fighting.Fight with all your might.You have reasons to.

    I was also dx in 2009(Aug) but my doctor put off telling the breast center to do a needle biopsy.It wasn't till 7 weeks later it was done.Malignant.Then as I was getting prepped for the surgery the radiology doctor found another tumor that needed to be marked.It turned out benign.I was upset but didn't want to get my gander up just going into surgery.

    At my 2 week check up my breast surgeon wanted to do a second surgery in just a few short weeks(check margins).Just 2 days before that surgery I did a self exam and found what I Thought was fluid.Doctor said wait and see.It was another benign tumor.I know so well what you are talking about and how you feel. It all happened to me in just a short time.

    So far now no problems.I will be a 2 year survivor soon and I pray for a good mammo.

    Lynn Smith
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    Dmdudra,
    You did not say what kind of bc you had earlier. One type that tends to recurr is Tripple Negative breast cancer. So if this is not the kind of breast cancer you had the first time around then your chances of it being something other than cancer is fairly good. It is worth it any day of the week in my opinion. The Lord is not done with me yet so I just keep fighting.
  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
    Any time is worth fighting for...
    this current fight has been on for almost 9 months and will continue for however long my body is able to stand it.
    It is scary and perfectly understandable that we all question if it is worth it going through chemo when there is the possibility of it coming back, but the alternative is much more permanent than the chemo. I just look around at my family and know I want to be here as long as I am functioning and not a burden.
    Good thing may be that if it is the beast visiting again, it is in the breast. Wishing you the best, praying that it is benign!
    ~Carol
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    camul said:

    Any time is worth fighting for...
    this current fight has been on for almost 9 months and will continue for however long my body is able to stand it.
    It is scary and perfectly understandable that we all question if it is worth it going through chemo when there is the possibility of it coming back, but the alternative is much more permanent than the chemo. I just look around at my family and know I want to be here as long as I am functioning and not a burden.
    Good thing may be that if it is the beast visiting again, it is in the breast. Wishing you the best, praying that it is benign!
    ~Carol

    Gentle Hugs .. and prayers coming
    your way. Yes, you can and will do whatever possible to get rid of any cancer from your body! Will it be difficult, yes .. is it doable -- yes. You have children whom love you, and a wonderful man in your life that adores you. All things are possible. Dare to DREAM big, ----life after breast cancer.

    Let's hope it does not come to this, and all your Oncologist finds is scar tissue --

    Strength, Courage and Hope.

    Vicki Sam
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    VickiSam said:

    Gentle Hugs .. and prayers coming
    your way. Yes, you can and will do whatever possible to get rid of any cancer from your body! Will it be difficult, yes .. is it doable -- yes. You have children whom love you, and a wonderful man in your life that adores you. All things are possible. Dare to DREAM big, ----life after breast cancer.

    Let's hope it does not come to this, and all your Oncologist finds is scar tissue --

    Strength, Courage and Hope.

    Vicki Sam

    Fight, fight, fight!
    My dear sweet sister--it is normal to feel the way you're feeling right now. This disease is so unfair and we shouldn't have to go through all this. But, life is good and your beautiful children who you described need you so much. You owe it to them to fight with all you've got and you owe it to yourself and the man in your life.

    And, don't forget--you don't even know if this is a false alarm yet. Put that positive thinking to work right now--in your mind, know that this is nothing. Or, if it isn't--know that you can beat this again if you have to. If you believe in a higher power--ask for the strength and courage you need and you will get it.

    You can do this--and you will.

    All my positive energy coming to you today.

    Hugs, Renee
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    VickiSam said:

    Gentle Hugs .. and prayers coming
    your way. Yes, you can and will do whatever possible to get rid of any cancer from your body! Will it be difficult, yes .. is it doable -- yes. You have children whom love you, and a wonderful man in your life that adores you. All things are possible. Dare to DREAM big, ----life after breast cancer.

    Let's hope it does not come to this, and all your Oncologist finds is scar tissue --

    Strength, Courage and Hope.

    Vicki Sam

    Praying that it is scar
    Praying that it is scar tissue or anything other than cancer. And, you have a lot to live for, so, if the beast rears its ugly head again, you fight as hard as you can!

    We are here to support you!


    Hugs, Angie
  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
    YES>FIGHT!
    As long as you can fight, you should fight. Because we should choose "LIFE" as God wants us too. And remember that you're not fighting alone: God is with you, your family is with you, we are here too. We fight with you. We understand how frustrating this may be, but at the same time, if we are given another chance to live, then we should take it. And always be grateful. Things will be OK. And I pray it's B9 and you don't have to go through this again.

    Good luck and let us know how everything goes.

    God loves you.
  • mwallace1325
    mwallace1325 Member Posts: 806
    Angie2U said:

    Praying that it is scar
    Praying that it is scar tissue or anything other than cancer. And, you have a lot to live for, so, if the beast rears its ugly head again, you fight as hard as you can!

    We are here to support you!


    Hugs, Angie

    So sorry
    So sorry you're going thru this again. It's probably all of our worst fear, so I won't even tell you not to worry, just keep breathing. Like others here, I'm praying that it's scar tissue.

    Anything we can do for you, just let us know.

    marge
  • csr771
    csr771 Member Posts: 117
    FIGHT
    I am praying, that the lump is not bc---but if it is---YOU FIGHT. You fight because you have children that need their mother. They need to see your courage. They need to know that you love them enough to do what is necessary and that even though we have obstacles in life, you can't give up. Praying for good results.
  • renee616
    renee616 Member Posts: 181
    csr771 said:

    FIGHT
    I am praying, that the lump is not bc---but if it is---YOU FIGHT. You fight because you have children that need their mother. They need to see your courage. They need to know that you love them enough to do what is necessary and that even though we have obstacles in life, you can't give up. Praying for good results.

    I agree with everyone else
    I agree with everyone else about the fight! Breast cancer has sort of taken over my life since November 2010......biggest issue with it is inconvenience, I get impatient and small things mostly annoy me, The heat right now, the wig, no eyebrows, watery eyes & make up not staying on! I quickly forget the other side effects. So Yes I personally would choose doing it over again, Not saying I wouldn't whine & complain at first! But just like the first time, for me there was only ONE choice....Living for myself, husband & kids, grand kids, parents, siblings! Like someone on an earlier post stated, I wanted to see My third child, my baby who's 17 graduate...that's happening Friday night! I went to her awards banquet. My Grandson graduated preschool, And My Son & DIL are expecting their first child, "A Girl" in Sept. I was afraid I might not see that....My Dad just had a triple bypass, so thankful I was able to help them through it. All the appointments are a royal pain sometimes....But so worth it. I have learned to never assume the worst, because it seldom is. Theres always hope! ALWAYS! I hope & pray that you have good results, but just in case, I hope & pray for you the strength, courage & grace to do what you need to do.
    Renee
  • creampuff91344
    creampuff91344 Member Posts: 988
    renee616 said:

    I agree with everyone else
    I agree with everyone else about the fight! Breast cancer has sort of taken over my life since November 2010......biggest issue with it is inconvenience, I get impatient and small things mostly annoy me, The heat right now, the wig, no eyebrows, watery eyes & make up not staying on! I quickly forget the other side effects. So Yes I personally would choose doing it over again, Not saying I wouldn't whine & complain at first! But just like the first time, for me there was only ONE choice....Living for myself, husband & kids, grand kids, parents, siblings! Like someone on an earlier post stated, I wanted to see My third child, my baby who's 17 graduate...that's happening Friday night! I went to her awards banquet. My Grandson graduated preschool, And My Son & DIL are expecting their first child, "A Girl" in Sept. I was afraid I might not see that....My Dad just had a triple bypass, so thankful I was able to help them through it. All the appointments are a royal pain sometimes....But so worth it. I have learned to never assume the worst, because it seldom is. Theres always hope! ALWAYS! I hope & pray that you have good results, but just in case, I hope & pray for you the strength, courage & grace to do what you need to do.
    Renee

    Dmdudra
    Just wanted you to know that you are on my mind today, and to offer a little bit of hope. Today I had my six month mammogram (this time on just my left breast), and before the mammo I asked the radiologist to do a physical exam. as I had found a lump near the place of my previous incision for a lumpectomy. After reviewing the film, the lump turned out to be scar tissue. Just know that sometimes we worry before we need to worry. However, if it turns out to be a recurrence, although it would be tough, there is no such thing as giving up. We are all here for you, and are willing to be here as long as needed. Chin up, and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers until this is resolved. In the meantime, take a deep breath, and go have some fun with the family.
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    csr771 said:

    FIGHT
    I am praying, that the lump is not bc---but if it is---YOU FIGHT. You fight because you have children that need their mother. They need to see your courage. They need to know that you love them enough to do what is necessary and that even though we have obstacles in life, you can't give up. Praying for good results.

    Praying that this lump will
    Praying that this lump will be benign and you won't have to worry about this anymore. I am so sorry that you even have to have this scare.


    Praying for you,


    Kylez
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member

    Lump
    Of course you would worry. If it turns out to be nothing, wonderful. If not, we all understand the trauma. Like most ladies fear initial onset of bc, those who have conquered it once live in fear of recurrence. Yes, you can do it. Your children are young therefore guessing you are younger than me, therefore, lots of life, love, motherhood, everything to look forward to. If you can, please let us know how you get on. Good luck. Roz

    Yes, let's all hope and pray
    Yes, let's all hope and pray for the best! You have so much to live for with those 2 young children that if, and I say if, it is cancer again, you will fight for yourself and for your children. But, I am praying that it is something else, scar tissue or a cyst or something.


    Keep updating us.
  • sinee
    sinee Member Posts: 196 Member
    keep fighting
    You found it~good job, not that any of us want to. But you found it, you did not pick this fight, this fight picked you. Don't jump to conclusions, it could be a lot of things. And do I think that a year and 5 months was worth everything you went through, yes I do. I think 5 months would of been worth it. If you don't think so, ask those children of yours. I know the love you have for them kept you going the first time, and if you have to go through it all again you will. My dear friend went through it 3 times and lived to be 70 so don't give up.
    I was diagnosed with stage 4 this winter, the tumor shrunk so much during chemo they are still talking about me at the hospital. I am now stage 3, and will be starting radiation. Every time I pick up my grandchild, or hug my grown children is another hug that they wouldn't of gotten if I had given up when they said stage 4. I will keep fighting no matter what the results are, there are new tests and new things coming out all the time....we actually had one young woman in my group who wouldn't keep fighting because she didn't want to loose her hair, she stopped going for chemo and cancer won. Don't let that happen to you~you are a fighter, I can see it in your photo..stay positive, stay upbeat and kick cancer's butt! ok, ok, granny sinee, signing off.
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member

    Not AGAIN?!
    I am SO sorry you have had a recurrence and are back on the Boards again. Only you can truly know what the treatment was like for you and whether you are willing to go through it again. I know that there are just some days where you want to give up. My daughter had just turned 17 and my son was 19 at the time of my diagnosis. Everything I went through was for them. I wanted to see my daughter graduate from high school - I did. I wanted to help her move into her 1st college dorm room - I did. I wanted to go to Parents Weekend - I did. I wanted to see the new house my son rented at college - I did. If I had given up and let those lymph nodes grow then I would have missed all those things. They would have missed another year of having a mom who loved them. Losing hair is definitely traumatic but it DOES grow back. Baldness is temporary - death is permanent. There are a number of Stage III and IV survivors on this Board. I hope they chime in with their experiences. Only you (and your doctors) can decide.

    Please keep in touch.

    IRENE

    Life is always worth
    Life is always worth fighting for! Praying that your test results will be clean!


    Try to be positive and we will all pray for you.


    Hugs, Leeza