Church Member Faking terminal cancer

ChiefsGirl
ChiefsGirl Member Posts: 1
in Brain Cancer #1
Yes it's true. A lady I know has been faking cancer for the past two years. She has scammed her church, family and friends out of thousands upon thousands of dollars. Let me give you some background on me so you know I do not make such accusations lightly. I say these things with a very heavy heart and with intense anguish. My father died from colon cancer two years ago. He was very sick for two years prior to that. From the day he was diagnosed till the day he took his last breath i was at his side. He was an honorable and respected man that served his country proudly. He was a retired Chief Master Sergeant. It is memorial day weekend and I'm filled with thoughts of him and miss him immensely which brings me to my current dilemma. What to do about this lady that is faking terminal brain and stomach cancer. If my dad knew what this lady was doing and he couldn't do anything about it he would want me to do my best to make things right. I know for 110% certainty this woman is lying. This situation takes on an intense sense of urgency because she is about to go to Disney World in Florida for two months at the expense of her church. This is the second year in a row she has done this. Nobody knows her oncologist, primary care doctor, case worker or where she is receiving chemo treatments. She was recently admitted to the hospital for emergency gall bladder surgery. She told the attending doctor she did not have cancer. This shocked all her family and friends. When the doctor left she told everyone that her doctor was treating her with "experimental" cancer treatments not approved by the FDA and she couldn't tell the surgeon for fear that her doctor would get in trouble. Believe it or not her family and the pastors of her church believed her. I suppose no one wants to believe that someone they love is capable of committing such a heinous crime. However those of us that know the true signs and symptoms of cancer were on to her long before but had no proof. She was recently asked to produce a doctor's note to prove she is being treated for cancer. She told my friend this wasn't possible because her doctor was performing an experimental trial of chemo pills on her and didn't want to get him in trouble. This seems to be the excuse of the day for her. My friend, who by the way has not worked for two years because she has been this lady's primary caretaker FOR FREE, reported this to the church pastor and his wife and they said that they believe this lady and she would never do something like this. I'm in a very precarious position because I need to expose her fraud but don't know how or who to turn to. That's why I came here. To people that know how difficult this can be and are also knowledgeable and resourceful on how to conquer this large white elephant in the room. I know I'm going to be made the bad guy when this is exposed. I'm also afraid what this lady might do when I expose her. She might commit suicide and I really don't want that on my shoulders. She is obviously very mentally unstable. So I ask all of you out there please help me to do the right thing and handle this situation as tactful as possible. Any and all advice would help tremendously. I will try to respond to all those that help. And thank you for all your help. No doubt my father in the heavens above salutes all you brave survivors, current warriors, and all family and friends that suffer silently.

Comments

  • 4theloveofmysis
    4theloveofmysis Member Posts: 248
    #2
    wow
    Dont have any advise you you really, but would like to say something. I know people do this kind of thing for some sick kind of atention. But it makes me so angry. My sister has brain cancer the worst kind GBM 4. I would give anything if this wasnt true. My world was turned upside down three months ago. I cry everyday. I feel like I am in some kind of nightmare that I cant wake up from. I dont enjoy anything anymore. I hold on to every minute I spend with my sister not knowing how much time I will have left with her. I was suppose to grow old with her. Retire and take trips together. Love her grandkids like she loves mine. But she wont even get to have any now. I need my sister...
    I cant believe that anyone would play such a sick game with people
  • palmyrafan
    palmyrafan Member Posts: 396
    #3
    Fraud
    There is something you can do. She is committing Fraud which is illegal. She is knowingly taking people's money under false pretenses. What can you do? Report her to the police. Tell them your suspicions. Tell them what you know. This lady sounds like one that I have heard about on other cancer boards who is just taking everyone to the cleaners with no thought to what she is putting others through. We had s lady like that in the Philadelphia area a year or so ago and when she was discovered, she was prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

    You need to report this to either the police or go over your pastor's head to his boss and tell them your concerns. Your pastor and his wife sound like they are too close to the situation to be of any help. Perhaps they have counseled this woman and/or given her money as well and they don't want to look foolish. Regardless, the longer this woman is allowed to do this, the more people she will hurt. Some people think nothing of doing this for a living because it is easy to do.

    I too am appalled when I hear of people doing this. I fight my brain cancer every day and I am furious that there are some people out there who would use this as an excuse for a free ride.

    Please report her to someone.
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #4
    palmyrafan said:

    Fraud
    There is something you can do. She is committing Fraud which is illegal. She is knowingly taking people's money under false pretenses. What can you do? Report her to the police. Tell them your suspicions. Tell them what you know. This lady sounds like one that I have heard about on other cancer boards who is just taking everyone to the cleaners with no thought to what she is putting others through. We had s lady like that in the Philadelphia area a year or so ago and when she was discovered, she was prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

    You need to report this to either the police or go over your pastor's head to his boss and tell them your concerns. Your pastor and his wife sound like they are too close to the situation to be of any help. Perhaps they have counseled this woman and/or given her money as well and they don't want to look foolish. Regardless, the longer this woman is allowed to do this, the more people she will hurt. Some people think nothing of doing this for a living because it is easy to do.

    I too am appalled when I hear of people doing this. I fight my brain cancer every day and I am furious that there are some people out there who would use this as an excuse for a free ride.

    Please report her to someone.

    Great advice Palm!
    This woman is committing fraud! What she is doing is ILLEGAL! She needs to be reported to local law enforcement, and sooner rather than later....!!
    You can even do it anonymously...but do it! There was a case in Ohio several years back of a women pretending her child had terminal cancer..she even went so far as to shave the child's head to look as though the child was undergoing chemo.... SICK SICK SICK!

    These people hurt those truly in need of help...by making people " gun shy" next time they are asked to give...

    There are numerous people on these various boards who are lying...I am a breast cancer survivor and visit that board...in the two years posting there, at least 6 have been exposed...3 times it was the same person! Talk about sick! I guess they are that desperate for attention...some, even, have been sent money....sad but true that people take advantage of the kindness of strangers....how they lay their heads down at night is beyond me!

    I've worked in medicine for years and I can assure you what she is saying is bold faced lies...." doesn't want to get her doctor in trouble". That is pure BS! pardon my French!

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE report this woman...you're actually doing a GOOD THING,
    Let us know...
    Bless you for doing this....
  • 4theloveofmysis
    4theloveofmysis Member Posts: 248
    #5
    MAJW said:

    Great advice Palm!
    This woman is committing fraud! What she is doing is ILLEGAL! She needs to be reported to local law enforcement, and sooner rather than later....!!
    You can even do it anonymously...but do it! There was a case in Ohio several years back of a women pretending her child had terminal cancer..she even went so far as to shave the child's head to look as though the child was undergoing chemo.... SICK SICK SICK!

    These people hurt those truly in need of help...by making people " gun shy" next time they are asked to give...

    There are numerous people on these various boards who are lying...I am a breast cancer survivor and visit that board...in the two years posting there, at least 6 have been exposed...3 times it was the same person! Talk about sick! I guess they are that desperate for attention...some, even, have been sent money....sad but true that people take advantage of the kindness of strangers....how they lay their heads down at night is beyond me!

    I've worked in medicine for years and I can assure you what she is saying is bold faced lies...." doesn't want to get her doctor in trouble". That is pure BS! pardon my French!

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE report this woman...you're actually doing a GOOD THING,
    Let us know...
    Bless you for doing this....

    lying about cancer
    gosh I didnt even think about anyone lying about cancer on here. I coming on here because my heart is in so much pain. I dont even know anyone here and their stories hit me in the pit of my stomach. Im living this. I know that it isnt me that has the cancer, but my sister.The only sister I have.My very best friend in the world. I have never felt so low or helpless in my life. I live it every second of the day. I wake up in the morning just to relize that Im still living in this nightmare.Even writing this I am wiping away the tears so I can see the screen.
    Im a nurse and I go to work and help others. I even give chemo for people that have to be giving it over a period of days in the hospital.I have seen people and heard stories being in the field that I have questioned...My daughter knew someone that was telling everyone she had cancer,but everytime my daughter would tell me about it, it didnt add up. I know my chemo's, a lot of them anyway. Well after about 2 years of her battling her "cancer" on a chemo she didnt know that name of...never losing her hair or any weight.. she had a miracle that cancer was gone?????....Oh please. I couldnt believe it.
    I think that the women should be turned in but I dont know what the police will do about it. Can they forse someone to come up with their medical records?
    I think that you would have to have some kind way for her to give you more info. So what is it that makes you think she is a fake. Give us a list. The thing about getting the doctor in trouble is a dead give away.
    Well Ive got to go give my sister her IV med's now, because of this new world that I live in...The world of GBM 4.... :-( :-(
  • palmyrafan
    palmyrafan Member Posts: 396
    #6
    4theloveofmysis said:

    lying about cancer
    gosh I didnt even think about anyone lying about cancer on here. I coming on here because my heart is in so much pain. I dont even know anyone here and their stories hit me in the pit of my stomach. Im living this. I know that it isnt me that has the cancer, but my sister.The only sister I have.My very best friend in the world. I have never felt so low or helpless in my life. I live it every second of the day. I wake up in the morning just to relize that Im still living in this nightmare.Even writing this I am wiping away the tears so I can see the screen.
    Im a nurse and I go to work and help others. I even give chemo for people that have to be giving it over a period of days in the hospital.I have seen people and heard stories being in the field that I have questioned...My daughter knew someone that was telling everyone she had cancer,but everytime my daughter would tell me about it, it didnt add up. I know my chemo's, a lot of them anyway. Well after about 2 years of her battling her "cancer" on a chemo she didnt know that name of...never losing her hair or any weight.. she had a miracle that cancer was gone?????....Oh please. I couldnt believe it.
    I think that the women should be turned in but I dont know what the police will do about it. Can they forse someone to come up with their medical records?
    I think that you would have to have some kind way for her to give you more info. So what is it that makes you think she is a fake. Give us a list. The thing about getting the doctor in trouble is a dead give away.
    Well Ive got to go give my sister her IV med's now, because of this new world that I live in...The world of GBM 4.... :-( :-(

    Fraud
    I think that she should be reported to someone at the church as well who is in a position to listen and take action. Apparently the pastor and his wife don't want to believe it is true or they just don't want to believe that they have been fooled. Depending on the denomination of the church (Baptist, Methodist, Christian, Catholic, Lutheran, etc.) some have Deacons, Board Members, etc. who can do something about it. Most pastors (if not all) are appointed to their respective churches by someone. I wouldn't worry about not getting your pastor in trouble. If you can help him and his wife get rid of a fraud, they will thank you for it in the end. Do others in the church share your concern? If so, get them on board to report this woman as well. Compare what she has told you to others versions.

    As for not wanting to get her doctor in trouble? My stepmother has been fighting full-blown Crohn's disease for over 40 years. She can't have any more surgeries and her insurance won't cover her medications. She is divorced from my dad so she is on her own. But her doctors and the pharmaceutical companies have agreed to give her first option at the medicines and new clinical trials as they come along. They just have to keep very meticulous records as to who participates. She is basically their "guinea pig" and she knows it and accepts full responsibility holding the doctors and the pharmaceutical companies harmless.

    Regardless, this lady needs to be reported to the police. If not the police, notify the prosecutor in your area. If not the prosecutor, then send an anonymous letter or phone call to the mayor of your town or the newspaper in your town giving them a "heads-up" about what is going on. Trust me, you aren't the only one having doubts to the veracity of her story.

    Good luck!

    Teresa
  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,460 Member
    #7
    I would say she can have
    I would say she can have mine but that wouldn't be nice. Anyway for those of us who really do have cancer, she needs to be stopped immediately and the consequences will be what they will be. Cancer sucks. It's not a joke. The emotions take an incredible toll. Disney World is not something I am considering at the moment even if I had the money. I would tell the pastor she is lying and more than that, go to the police and tell them she is a fraud and is taking people's money. There was another woman in the paper who recently did the same thing. No one was angry at the person who told on her. Actually people were angry at her directly and I would suspect greatful to the person who stopped her from taking their money.
  • alutiiqmom
    alutiiqmom Member Posts: 256
    #8
    palmyrafan said:

    Fraud
    There is something you can do. She is committing Fraud which is illegal. She is knowingly taking people's money under false pretenses. What can you do? Report her to the police. Tell them your suspicions. Tell them what you know. This lady sounds like one that I have heard about on other cancer boards who is just taking everyone to the cleaners with no thought to what she is putting others through. We had s lady like that in the Philadelphia area a year or so ago and when she was discovered, she was prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

    You need to report this to either the police or go over your pastor's head to his boss and tell them your concerns. Your pastor and his wife sound like they are too close to the situation to be of any help. Perhaps they have counseled this woman and/or given her money as well and they don't want to look foolish. Regardless, the longer this woman is allowed to do this, the more people she will hurt. Some people think nothing of doing this for a living because it is easy to do.

    I too am appalled when I hear of people doing this. I fight my brain cancer every day and I am furious that there are some people out there who would use this as an excuse for a free ride.

    Please report her to someone.

    good advice
    I think your advice is the best once. It is very sad that someone could do such a thing. I would tell the police and let them out her. Good luck to you.

    Edna
  • Bennette
    Bennette Member Posts: 65
    #9
    concern about the crook
    As an employer, I have seen my share of pathological liars and cons. Not as serious as lying about cancer, but you would be amazed at what people will lie about to get something they want and how sneaky they can be when stealing from others.

    Do not being worried about her mental state - these people are cons, suicidal people are not likely to put on an act like this, they are typically withdrawn. I would be more concerned about the people getting conned! These are the ones who are likely to be devasted especially if it continues to go on and they give more and more.

    Call the police and let the chips fall where they fall! You are not to blame for anything that happens, she is!

    Good luck!
  • FloridaBrat
    FloridaBrat Member Posts: 1
    #10
    Faking Cancer
    I know someone who is faking cancer but I don't know how to prove it. She is not collecting money, just sympathy and attention. The only proof I have is of her awfully shaved head. I would like to expose her but just not sure how. As crazy as faking cancer is, so is accusing someone of something like that when you do not have first hand proof other than some hair photographs.
  • ProvidingHelp
    ProvidingHelp Member Posts: 2
    #11
    FloridaBrat said:

    Faking Cancer
    I know someone who is faking cancer but I don't know how to prove it. She is not collecting money, just sympathy and attention. The only proof I have is of her awfully shaved head. I would like to expose her but just not sure how. As crazy as faking cancer is, so is accusing someone of something like that when you do not have first hand proof other than some hair photographs.

    Maybe I can help

    Hi FloridaBrat,

    I would like to speak with you more about the person you know who may be faking cancer. If she is indeed faking her illness, this may be a symptom of an actual diagnosis called Factitious Disorder. While it provides no excuse for faking a serious, life affecting illness, it does indicate that the person might need actual help. Would you be willing to speak with me a little bit more about her?

  • ProvidingHelp
    ProvidingHelp Member Posts: 2
    #12
    Maybe I can Help

    Hi Chief'sGirl,

    Perhaps the woman you speak of has already received help for this, but I'd like to know if this is still going on. It sounds like you are well aware that faking an illness like this is a sign of mental illness, in fact, it may be part of a larger diagnosis called Factitious Disorder, and is something that needs to be addressed by medical professionals. It is never ok for someone to fake an illness, especially one that takes lives and so tremendously affects friends and family, but it is important to know that this woman does need treatment, just not for cancer. Please let me know if this is still something she's doing. I'd love to speak with you.

    Thank you.

  • Weedee421
    Weedee421 Member Posts: 1
    #13
    Belive sister in law is faking breast cancer

    My sister in law we believe is faking breast cancer. She tells one person that it has spread to her lungs. Another person that it's stage 2 others stage 3 and some stage 4. She says she is doing chemo and that the doctors refuse to take her of her methadone because it will cause her body more harm. She now tells one sibling that the cancer in her lung is gone. She was hospitalized over night 2 weeks ago for severe pneumonia and strep throat. But at 2am was release and later when on a shopping spree and took her baby to the park to play. Both her sister and I believe that this is all one huge lie. Not only for the inconsistencies but my sister in law has overdoses for attention said she had been abuse when she really hadn't been. Said that she had cervical cancer and them all of a sudden gone. Our other concerns are that she drinks heavily, steals prescription mess and other things. If you have breast cancer that has spread to your lung and your getting treatment I would expect that you would not have hair as my aunt and cousin did, you would not have energy and that someone would defiantly have to be helping you with your one year old.

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