Need to vent
Sorry, needed to vent, bad day ....
Comments
-
it sucks!
but I have noticed some people switch gears given time as they process what's going on. they certainly don't have the direct perspective you've got being on the frontline. it does help to think of even just a couple little things to ask them to do, to delegate some errands/ sitting/ etc so thy can get an idea of what it's like. if they don't want to help then so be it.0 -
yes, cancer & all it's bs sucksdearfoam said:it sucks!
but I have noticed some people switch gears given time as they process what's going on. they certainly don't have the direct perspective you've got being on the frontline. it does help to think of even just a couple little things to ask them to do, to delegate some errands/ sitting/ etc so thy can get an idea of what it's like. if they don't want to help then so be it.
thx for your reply ... it is a bad day, two year anniversary of my husband's dx. After 2 years, if some people don't get it, especially family members, I'm afraid they never will. Sometimes I think we are an unwanted distraction from the bubble that we all live in until tragedy strikes - you know, the "it happens to someone else" thing, and for some, I'm sorry to say I think it is self absorption of the worst kind. But I feel better already, just for having given voice the the nasty stuff in my head in a safe place - kind of released it, if you know what I mean. I've got some good people around me too - it's not always all bad, but it is an eye opener, and I guess a lesson in tolerance too. I know I have alot to be thankful for also - although my husband is Stage 4 colorectal, he is still here and relatively healthy, still working (that part sucks - wish he was rich and could do whatever his heart desired,but it's also probably good for his mind at times - even though his boss is one of the people I'm referring to), and he is hopefully still a candidate for surgery to remove the right lobe of his liver in September. He just had a portal vein embolization on Thursday, and now we have to wait four weeks to make sure the left side of his liver will grow to accomodate the removal of his right side. Just scared and a little sad too today. Thx again for responding.0 -
Family
Hang in there your husband knows who is sincere and is there for him. I had the exact opposite happen with all this love and attention pouring out for him after diagnoses from all these people who could give a s@#$ less before. He was just diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer in Nov of 2010. I was happy to hear that your husband was still working and feeling fair. My husband will have his 12th tx in June and then we have a month wait and see. Really scared but he feels pretty good most of the time. Kim0 -
Don't get it
I think it is true that some people just don't get it. Others don't know what to say or do, so they don't do anything. Still others think that he must be ok if he can still work. Even just a short time before I lost my husband, people would say, "He looks so good." What they didn't seem to realize was that they only saw him when he was feeling pretty good. I actually had some people tell me that they didn't really think he was going to die. Like we would make something like that up?! For the most part, I chose to think that most people meant well. I did find that when I asked people to do specific things for me, that they really did want to help. They just didn't know how. Some thanked me for giving them something to do. I guess unless they have walked a mile in our shoes, they can't understand how much a simple invitation to dinner or a hand with the yard can mean. Then again there are those who not only don't get it, but just don't care. Glad you came here to vent. We do get it, and we do care. Fay0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 121.7K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 446 Bladder Cancer
- 308 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.5K Breast Cancer
- 395 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 13K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.3K Kidney Cancer
- 670 Leukemia
- 792 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 236 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.1K Ovarian Cancer
- 59 Pancreatic Cancer
- 486 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.4K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 537 Sarcoma
- 727 Skin Cancer
- 652 Stomach Cancer
- 191 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.8K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards