My most frequently asked question.....
Just got it yesterday again at the bank (celebrating my birthday and 5 years post any treatment on both cancers this July)....
My response: "Well, I can tell you that it doesn't hurt. I am very blessed that for a whole bunch of reasons (including luck...heredity gave me a VERY strong immune system so that I didn't miss a single treatment from white cell count) I survived. But, with a positive attitude (as much as possible...there were my awful days, too!), I was able to gather people closer to me that were then invested in trying their best, doing their best, to give me the best possible chance of survival! So, in that way, remembering my 'please and thank you's (I told my gastric surgeon that I thought he was VERY handsome, just before being put under for my bowel resection...*smile*), I got the best treatment I could. The rest, well..."
What do YOU say when someone asks you?
Hugs, Kathi
Comments
-
KM
That it helps, especially over the long haul with as many years as I've been going against it. If my spirits were not up more than not, then who knows.
We all know it is a combination of factors when in a cancer fight - and not just one single thing. If it were only about attitude, then we would not have lost so many of our friends here. They had attitude and they had things to live for.
It's about attitude to a large degree but, it's also about having your brain wrapped around the realities of the disease, it's about patience, persistence, and tenancity. It's about the body being strong enough to take the pounding and it's about the mind being strong enough to step up and take the pounding and not giving in.
And it's about a good medical team: surgical, radiation oncologist, and surgical oncologist. And being nice to your medical team, does not hurt either:)
When you mix all of these ingredients together, then you give yourself a fighting chance - and in the end, that's all that any of us want - a chance.
Nice to see you, Kathi:)
-Craig0 -
I am still here, my dear!Sundanceh said:KM
That it helps, especially over the long haul with as many years as I've been going against it. If my spirits were not up more than not, then who knows.
We all know it is a combination of factors when in a cancer fight - and not just one single thing. If it were only about attitude, then we would not have lost so many of our friends here. They had attitude and they had things to live for.
It's about attitude to a large degree but, it's also about having your brain wrapped around the realities of the disease, it's about patience, persistence, and tenancity. It's about the body being strong enough to take the pounding and it's about the mind being strong enough to step up and take the pounding and not giving in.
And it's about a good medical team: surgical, radiation oncologist, and surgical oncologist. And being nice to your medical team, does not hurt either:)
When you mix all of these ingredients together, then you give yourself a fighting chance - and in the end, that's all that any of us want - a chance.
Nice to see you, Kathi:)
-Craig
Just not posting as much....checking in daily to make sure you all are ok....busy with my mom's passing...sigh...
I agree, if it were only attitude, there would be many that I wouldn't have had to say 'goodbye' to....but, even in those last moments...they were inspirations!
You have a point about reality as well. I never once took cancer for granted...I fought the fight knowing that my opponent (cancer) would fight dirty, and so I needed the best team I could find...with me and my body fully on board as part of the team!
Special hugs to you, my southern gentleman cowboy!!!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
Kathi!! you should post more frequently you see we miss you!KathiM said:I am still here, my dear!
Just not posting as much....checking in daily to make sure you all are ok....busy with my mom's passing...sigh...
I agree, if it were only attitude, there would be many that I wouldn't have had to say 'goodbye' to....but, even in those last moments...they were inspirations!
You have a point about reality as well. I never once took cancer for granted...I fought the fight knowing that my opponent (cancer) would fight dirty, and so I needed the best team I could find...with me and my body fully on board as part of the team!
Special hugs to you, my southern gentleman cowboy!!!
Hugs, Kathi
Concerning attitude, I don't thing it cures by it self , but it allows you to continue alive!.
Good Weekend my dear Dutch !0 -
Aw, thank you, dear heart!pepebcn said:Kathi!! you should post more frequently you see we miss you!
Concerning attitude, I don't thing it cures by it self , but it allows you to continue alive!.
Good Weekend my dear Dutch !
I agree with you!
Good weekend for you, as well, my firey Spaniard!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
the biology of belief and the placebo effect and outward bound
Dear Kathy what a thought provoking post and then sundance such a complimentary reply.
Attitiude on its own is too broad for me. So i ask what is attitude and how deeply is it held ?
i firmly believe i will survive because I have FAITH the treatments, doctors, hospitals, my family and supplements and supports around and within me.
Real FAITH in my future survival really helps survival. ever thought about the placebo effect? why does giving someone a sugar help them ?
ever contemplated the nocebo effect ? someone is told they have 3 months left, they die in 3 months. at autopsy its found they did not have terminal cancer. they beleived they would die and did.
Or if your interested read about outward bound and survival below. i did this course when i was 18, its helped me through lifes challenges and to my greatest this cancer.
http://www.outwardbound.com.au/about-us/history/6-history-of-outward-bound.html
hugs,
pete0 -
Thank you, Pete!pete43lost_at_sea said:the biology of belief and the placebo effect and outward bound
Dear Kathy what a thought provoking post and then sundance such a complimentary reply.
Attitiude on its own is too broad for me. So i ask what is attitude and how deeply is it held ?
i firmly believe i will survive because I have FAITH the treatments, doctors, hospitals, my family and supplements and supports around and within me.
Real FAITH in my future survival really helps survival. ever thought about the placebo effect? why does giving someone a sugar help them ?
ever contemplated the nocebo effect ? someone is told they have 3 months left, they die in 3 months. at autopsy its found they did not have terminal cancer. they beleived they would die and did.
Or if your interested read about outward bound and survival below. i did this course when i was 18, its helped me through lifes challenges and to my greatest this cancer.
http://www.outwardbound.com.au/about-us/history/6-history-of-outward-bound.html
hugs,
pete
For the link!!!!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
Attitude Goes a Long WaySundanceh said:KM
That it helps, especially over the long haul with as many years as I've been going against it. If my spirits were not up more than not, then who knows.
We all know it is a combination of factors when in a cancer fight - and not just one single thing. If it were only about attitude, then we would not have lost so many of our friends here. They had attitude and they had things to live for.
It's about attitude to a large degree but, it's also about having your brain wrapped around the realities of the disease, it's about patience, persistence, and tenancity. It's about the body being strong enough to take the pounding and it's about the mind being strong enough to step up and take the pounding and not giving in.
And it's about a good medical team: surgical, radiation oncologist, and surgical oncologist. And being nice to your medical team, does not hurt either:)
When you mix all of these ingredients together, then you give yourself a fighting chance - and in the end, that's all that any of us want - a chance.
Nice to see you, Kathi:)
-Craig
Hi Craig, just noticed the shirt you are wearing...EVERLAST.
Great one!
I think you summed things up nicely. There are so many factors involved. I DO believe that attitude (a good one that is) can really help a person a lot. There are some among us who are just miserable as part of who they are and they may do well too but why be miserable?
I do agree too with being in it for the long haul. If we were complaining miserable people who would even want to be around us.
-phil0 -
Kathi
Actually, I never get asked, I get told. Just happened again a couple of days ago, they actually tell me, "You know, it's your attitude." I always pause before answering, "I guess it is." Because I don't believe it's my attitude. A lot of others had a way better attitude then I did that are no longer here. I certainly thought when they said I had six months, I had six months, heck I was busy sobbing, yelling (inside my head yelling, I wouldn't disturb anyone by actually yelling aloud)and feeling burned out. I do admit after a couple of months of self pity, you tend to get tired of it, and then decide your going to spend what time you have left enjoying the moments around you. Why am I still here? My oncologist, my surgeons. And yes, I guess maybe attitude has something to do with it, or maybe we just want to believe that attitude changes the circumstances. I don't know. But, somehow every time someone tells me I'm here, still on this earth, because of my attitude, it just give me a feeling of profound sadness, because of those before me, that had wonderful attitudes before they left us behind. Survivor guilt I suppose.
Winter Marie0 -
gets me there
When I am feeling low, sometime I think: all I have to do is get one foot to cross the threshold of the hospital -- my wonderful nurses and doctors will take it from there.
Attitude is what gets me to the hospital door, time and time again....and into the hands of those who keep me alive.
Tara0 -
That is GREAT news!!!! (and about the weather, too!!!)PGLGreg said:Thanks for asking, Kathi.
Thanks for asking, Kathi. Couldn't be better (though I wish I were younger). No sign of more cancer. Beautiful weather on Oahu, as usual.
--Greg
And, yes, sadly, I think many of us (me, for one...*smile*) would LOVE to be younger...
Hugs, Kathi0 -
just thanks to the person who asked youKathiM said:Thank you, Pete!
For the link!!!!
Hugs, Kathi
i love these upbeat discussions, with a dash of hope.
to raise our awareness away from pain, death and treatments to the finer
things in life.0 -
My take
Hmmm...I know a good attitude can help a person deal with cancer or any other tough situation in life. And I think a good attitude can give you strength to keep trying to beat cancer. But I also think saying that attitude makes such a difference in a person's fight with cancer puts an unfair burden on the patient. As Winter said, there are many we have known here who had fabulous attitudes, and they still didn't make it. I feel sad thinking about someone who's on the verge of losing the battle thinking it's because they didn't have enough of a sunny disposition. Cancer just does what it does sometimes, you know...
*hugs*
Gail0 -
Good thoughts, Winter Marie!herdizziness said:Kathi
Actually, I never get asked, I get told. Just happened again a couple of days ago, they actually tell me, "You know, it's your attitude." I always pause before answering, "I guess it is." Because I don't believe it's my attitude. A lot of others had a way better attitude then I did that are no longer here. I certainly thought when they said I had six months, I had six months, heck I was busy sobbing, yelling (inside my head yelling, I wouldn't disturb anyone by actually yelling aloud)and feeling burned out. I do admit after a couple of months of self pity, you tend to get tired of it, and then decide your going to spend what time you have left enjoying the moments around you. Why am I still here? My oncologist, my surgeons. And yes, I guess maybe attitude has something to do with it, or maybe we just want to believe that attitude changes the circumstances. I don't know. But, somehow every time someone tells me I'm here, still on this earth, because of my attitude, it just give me a feeling of profound sadness, because of those before me, that had wonderful attitudes before they left us behind. Survivor guilt I suppose.
Winter Marie
I agree, attitude, in and of itself, is not a cureall...but, as I respond to the question, it DOES get the 'people in the know' vested in my treatment...and hopefully success.
Hugs, Kathi0 -
This is what I was trying to say, as well....taraHK said:gets me there
When I am feeling low, sometime I think: all I have to do is get one foot to cross the threshold of the hospital -- my wonderful nurses and doctors will take it from there.
Attitude is what gets me to the hospital door, time and time again....and into the hands of those who keep me alive.
Tara
Thank you, Tara! Sometimes I write a book when a beautiful sentence such as yours does even better to express!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
I agree, Gail!tootsie1 said:My take
Hmmm...I know a good attitude can help a person deal with cancer or any other tough situation in life. And I think a good attitude can give you strength to keep trying to beat cancer. But I also think saying that attitude makes such a difference in a person's fight with cancer puts an unfair burden on the patient. As Winter said, there are many we have known here who had fabulous attitudes, and they still didn't make it. I feel sad thinking about someone who's on the verge of losing the battle thinking it's because they didn't have enough of a sunny disposition. Cancer just does what it does sometimes, you know...
*hugs*
Gail
That is why it needs to be combined with many, many other things, don't you think?
I actually had a stage IV patient partner, after all else had been tried, share with me a stunning statement:
"Actually, my passing, and going on to the existence I know awaits me, is the final win for me in the battle with cancer". It took my breath away!
Hugs, Kathi0
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