aaaaahhhh!

yes...
My mother has been battling for almost 2 years now and she is terribly depressed at this time because she is not doing well...I think depression is normal, BUT...you are correct, it is horrible to watch. Once we tried to get her to take an anti-depressant but she wouldn't..yesterday, her doctor finally convinced her to take remeron....he says it will help increase her appetite as well....you may want to talk to your doctor about that as well....I'll keep you posted and let you know....But ultimately, yes, you have little control except to be there for her....if you need a break, take it.....it is exhausting....I also find that swimming helps me a lot....it seems to get rid of all the emotionally energy that builds up while we walk this walk with our mothers.....it is really hard.....you're a good daughter....keep us posted....

mom
BF,

I think the only thing you can do is to listen. Hopefully once she comes through this one she'll realize that she can in fact do it. My first one knocked me for a loop too, because you are thinking OMG I have to keep doing this over and over. I don't want you to make her feel even worse - but how does she respond if you ask her to please do it for you? That you do not want to lose her? I am sure you are scared. I'll say a prayer that in another day or two her bone pain will subside and she'll feel a little better about things. Hopefully when her strength returns you could do something fun outside? Being in the sunshine is my #1 mood lifter.

Take care,
Lea

Cafewoman53 said:

Call her dr
They can help with the pain and depression but you have to let them know what is going on. I agree that maybe when she gets thru the second treatment she may realize that she can handle this. Actually she may feel better in a few days I know for alot of people it was bad three days after chemo and then gets better a few days after that. Hang in there and let her know it probably be better in a few days.
Colleen

I agree....
I agree...call her doc. I remember feeling like that at first. I didnt think I could do the chemo thing until it started working and the pain was less and I was hungry again,etc.
I cried at the drop of a hat the first week or so which was very out of character for me. I accepted a low dose anti-depressent and have been much better ever since. I dont have to take it forever but if it gets me thru these rough times I am grateful. I figure anything they can give us to make us feel better is worth a try. I also agree that getting out of the house and especially a little sunshine works wonders as well. Dont give up...it will get better.

carolenk said:

Feeling helpless
Best Friend

Bill Moyers did a series called "Healing and the Mind" on PBS many years ago and on one episode he featured some research that showed how simply feeling depressed did not suppress the immune system if the person could EXPRESS their feelings. It was feeling depressed and suppressing those feelings that was bad for the immune system.

So don't think that your mom has to be in a good mood to be strong. Her strength is in being authentic and real with you. That says a lot about the closeness of your relationship with your mother--she doesn't have to hide her feelings from you.

The fact that your mom CAN talk to you about how she feels IS VERY THERAPEUTIC. You don't have to say anything--just be there and listen...maybe hold her hand.

(((hugs))) for both of you,

Carolen

I agree that you should let the doctor
know what is going on, maybe she can get something to help her. I know that when I was chemo sick, nothing seemed to help. My son would try to reassure me by reminding me I would feel better in a few days. I know it bothered him and my mom to see me suffer but they wanted to talk me out of the suffering and that is not possible. Yes I knew I would feel better in a few days but when I was really sick that thought didn't help. I had people trying to get me to eat or get out of bed when I felt like I was dying. I would tell them, you know when I am well I don't stay in bed but right now that's all I can do. So, yes, just listen and try to roll with it. This horrible disease is hard on everyone.

Karen

Have you considered talking
Have you considered talking to her about anti-depressant tablets from the GP? I'm on them and they help a great deal. It is all a shock espeically the beginning bit. She will get used to what is happening to her but it takes time. I feel for you hang in there it is tough on all of you. Hugs Tina xx

Best Friend said:

don't know.
I guess i just have to get thru this one too. It just is horrible. It is Monday. She had it last Monday and she has absolutely no energy. She can barely go to another room without passing out. I just have to let it go. If it's gonna work than i will be happy. If she decides not to do it, it's not my decision.

BF
My mom felt terrible after her first chemo also. I think it really surprised her how awful she felt. She was not prepared to feel so badly. She freaked us out so much that we ended up taking her back to the hospital. She had gotten dehydrated, so on every subsequent tx, she did IV fluids at home. Anyway--sometime after the bad effects of her first tx wore off, she must have mentally made the decision to move forward. She was depressed and I did get her started on prozac. When she was feeling so bad, she just didn't realize that she would feel better again. What helped some was taking some notes regarding her reaction so that after the following tx we were ready for when the bad days would hit and when she would turn the corner. Focusing on the fact that she would turn the corner after each tx seemed to help. She had 6 carbo/taxol treatments and absolutely the first one was the worst for her.

Mwee said:

don't wait
I'm with my sisters here... call her doctors. Don't wait until she is even more down. Her mental state is something they wish to determine as well as her other symptoms!
(((HUGS))) Maria

Call the doctor
Best Friend: Sometimes the person is unfortunate and NOT able to clear certain chemo drugs from their body--that's a genetic issue. I think that I am one of those people because taxol almost killed me...thank GOD that I was given the low dose on a weekly basis rather than the higher amount that is given every 3 weeks. I agree that the doctor needs to be notified--don't take it for granted that your friend should feel as bad as she does.

LQ