My husband has just been diagnosed with lung cancer

Just Read Your Post
Your first sentence is what I think everyone of us felt and had pass through our mind when we initially registered here. With time I can now say I am so grateful to have found my spot here. The exchange of fears, wishes, loss, hope, tears, joys, sweet and sad memories any and all emotions, feelings and all else that goes hand and hand with a cancer diagnosis of ones self or loved one is made here without judgement but instead met with understanding, a willingness to listen, share and offer suggestions or just a place to vent with like minds. It is a place laced with grace and a willingness to be a shoulder to cry on when one may feel there is no where else to turn...turning here for me made me feel better and not alone...

Your husband and you sound like my honey and me when we first got the news...I always said I am staying on the sunny side of the street...I had too...I had to march forward head held high...I demanded it from all who came near me and my husband...I refused to let negativity enter any conversation...my husband needed positivity to face the road ahead...I guess it was all I was able to control at that point...We prayed together and alone... my husband was Catholic but I am Protestant...he was always applying holy water...why heck even I started dabbing myself with it...figured it couldn't hurt.

What helped me the most was buying two journals...one for the medical stuff...sometimes so much comes flying at you that by writing it down I had a reference later one as well as when the medical staff sees you writing stuff down it seems to be a little more serious with these two! The second journal was for me...everything I felt, wondered, questions, hoped for and feared...I recorded...I am so so thankful I did that...when I felt things were out of control, scary, good or whatever I wrote it down...when I couldn't say things to my Bob I wrote it down...then it was out of me even if for just that moment. My husband had a cough and did not want to go to the doctors...I had to call and make the appointment and remember telling him I would have been irresponsible if I turned my back...it would seem you had a similar experience with your hubby...guys never want to go to the doctors...good thing you are a take the bull by the horns kinda gal! That attitude will pay off as you go along!

BrendaRae, you and your husband have started on an unenviable journey...journeys take many twists, turns and side roads...finding this forum was a positive part of my journey...I could never imagine saying welcome - glad you are here...but I can say I believe your finding this place was meant to be...God led you here for a reason..so many folks here will listen...I for one am so grateful to have found CSN...I hope it offers you the same comfort it has me...Elizabeth

BrendaRae said:

Diane;
I do not know if it was the doctor who said he had a year. I have only spoken to my husband on the phone and things have been happening fast since I made him go for a checkup. The place where he is I believe has only did preliminary things maybe nothing more than an Xray. I have a feeling my husband is thinking the worst; I know him and somehow something tells me I must get ahold of myself and not jump to conclusions.

I have read up on this alot as you can imagine and have put it in God's hand. It was the Lord who persuaded me to send my husband in and when I did I had this feeling that it was for the right reason and not necessarily to present us with something horrible. That is coming from my heart. I also asked God to take control and promised Him I would put my needs aside for my husband and it gets tough but he is worth it.

Something that has gotten my attention and I cannot say it applies is something called actinomyosis. It can show up as masses in the lungs on Xrays and if often caused by poor dental hygiene and not to make fun but my husband's teeth are in horrible shape and need to removed. And for quite a while now I have caught my husband fiddling with his teeth constantly. For some reason it has caught my attention and now I feel that there could possibly be a connection. Like I said it is only something I found out by exploring.

I thank you Diane and everyone for your support. I am having a tough time but my heart says do not make rash assumptions and I am holding on to that.

Brendarae
Hello, Sorry you had to find us. Has your husband had the biopsy yet, as thats they only way to confirm cancer. There are many treatment options and the drs don't know how long we have. Please keep us posted. Lori

keep your stength
I am proud of you for your strength in such a hard time. I believe that with the love of his family around and the right treatment there is always HOPE. keep by his side and stress talking about what hes feeling. and you of course. the best way to be there for eachother is to understand eachothers fears. I applaud your positive words about who your husband is, you must let him know everyday that you feel this way for him. you and your husband will be in my prayers and i hope that god will not be ready for him to come. good luck
Samantha

BrendaRae said:

Update on my husband's condition-HELP
My husband had a biopsy today and the doctor called me and said his right lung was cancerous but the left lung is clear. He told me that there was no hope but we are not taking this lying down because we know people do without one lung. We feel this is a bureaucratic/system unwillingness to help and listen to how this doctor acted. He did not even bother to tell my husband at all-in fact he has still not told him and I feel he has no intention of telling him. He called me laid it in my lap and hung up abruptly. Something is smelly here-can any of you tell me how to get a second opinion or get steered towards a place who is more caring than a greedy town hospital establishment that may guide us in this matter. God tells me not to take this lying down. I came here for help and I am asking for it so please if any of you can help an uneducated person please do!

Other test results
Cancer is diagnosed by biopsy. The pathologist and surgeons can look at the cells to see if they look like cancer cells. Cancer cells are regular cells that have gone crazy and they don't look quite the same shape as regular cells. After the doctors figure out that there is cancer, they have to figure out what Kind of cancer they are dealing with. There are many kinds of lung cancer and there are also many cancers of other organs that travel to the lung. Different treatments work on different cancers. They also have to do tests to see how far the cancer has spread. The doctors have to write up reports on all these tests. These reports belong to your husband, so he can get them if he asks. They are written up in medical language so they are sometimes hard for regular folks to understand, but that is where you will find out what you are dealing with.

One common test most folks with cancer have is a PET scan to see how far the cancer has traveled. The test takes about two hours but does not hurt any more than a CAT scan. Cancer cells grow quickly. Growing cells need energy to keep growing. Sugar solutions with some radioactive ingredients are given to the patient to drink. After a set amount of time, the patient is scanned. Spots of cancer light up on the films. That way the doctor can see if the cancer has traveled. If the cancer has moved out of the lung, then doctors do not operate. They will not remove a lung or part of one if the cancer has already left the lung. Lung operations will not stop the spread of cancer if it is already out of the lung and major surgery has its own side effects. Since the operation will not stop the cancer if it is already out of the lung, the operation will not be "worth" the risk of side effects.

Even though doctors will not operate if the cancer is out of the lung, they usually will talk about treatment with chemotherapy. Chemotherapy attacks the cancer throughout the body including the lung. Chemotherapy also has side effects, but if the patient is well enough to stand the side effects, it can sometimes reduce the size of the cancer and lengthen the life of the patient. Yes, there are many patients that have lived a long time with lung cancer that has spread. But there are also patients that were not helped by chemotherapy. Good doctors will try their best to do whatever the patient wants, but they do not have a cure, much to my dismay. If they do not believe the benefits of chemotherapy will be worth the side effects of chemotherapy, they will not recommend it. They still should provide some kind of treatment to increase quality of life and reduce pain, right up to the end.

If this doctor cannot communicate with you so that you understand what is going on, see if another medical person can get the reports and explain them to you. Your family doctor may be able to get copies if your husband will sign to share the details with him. Or possibly your local hospital has a medical social worker that could sit down and explain what tests have been done and what the outcome was.

Doctors cannot change the outcome of the tests. They can only report what they have found.But if they don't have a good bedside manner, can't communicate with you, or seem to have given up before you have started to fight, you should get a second opinion. Most insurance companies not only help with second opinions, they require them. Call your insurance company and see who they recommend. And get those reports to someone who can explain them to you.

Good luck!

BrendaRae said:

Update on my husband's condition-HELP
My husband had a biopsy today and the doctor called me and said his right lung was cancerous but the left lung is clear. He told me that there was no hope but we are not taking this lying down because we know people do without one lung. We feel this is a bureaucratic/system unwillingness to help and listen to how this doctor acted. He did not even bother to tell my husband at all-in fact he has still not told him and I feel he has no intention of telling him. He called me laid it in my lap and hung up abruptly. Something is smelly here-can any of you tell me how to get a second opinion or get steered towards a place who is more caring than a greedy town hospital establishment that may guide us in this matter. God tells me not to take this lying down. I came here for help and I am asking for it so please if any of you can help an uneducated person please do!

Second opinion..
If a doctor told me I only had one year to live before they had done a biopsy and then called and said there was no hope after doing the biopsy I would be seeing another doctor!!

Many people get a second opinion for their own piece of mind, in your case, I would seek a second opinion because this doctor doesn't sound like he is willing to do anything to try to help your husband.

Please keep us updated.

My best to you and your husband.
Glenna

cabbott said:

Other test results
Cancer is diagnosed by biopsy. The pathologist and surgeons can look at the cells to see if they look like cancer cells. Cancer cells are regular cells that have gone crazy and they don't look quite the same shape as regular cells. After the doctors figure out that there is cancer, they have to figure out what Kind of cancer they are dealing with. There are many kinds of lung cancer and there are also many cancers of other organs that travel to the lung. Different treatments work on different cancers. They also have to do tests to see how far the cancer has spread. The doctors have to write up reports on all these tests. These reports belong to your husband, so he can get them if he asks. They are written up in medical language so they are sometimes hard for regular folks to understand, but that is where you will find out what you are dealing with.

One common test most folks with cancer have is a PET scan to see how far the cancer has traveled. The test takes about two hours but does not hurt any more than a CAT scan. Cancer cells grow quickly. Growing cells need energy to keep growing. Sugar solutions with some radioactive ingredients are given to the patient to drink. After a set amount of time, the patient is scanned. Spots of cancer light up on the films. That way the doctor can see if the cancer has traveled. If the cancer has moved out of the lung, then doctors do not operate. They will not remove a lung or part of one if the cancer has already left the lung. Lung operations will not stop the spread of cancer if it is already out of the lung and major surgery has its own side effects. Since the operation will not stop the cancer if it is already out of the lung, the operation will not be "worth" the risk of side effects.

Even though doctors will not operate if the cancer is out of the lung, they usually will talk about treatment with chemotherapy. Chemotherapy attacks the cancer throughout the body including the lung. Chemotherapy also has side effects, but if the patient is well enough to stand the side effects, it can sometimes reduce the size of the cancer and lengthen the life of the patient. Yes, there are many patients that have lived a long time with lung cancer that has spread. But there are also patients that were not helped by chemotherapy. Good doctors will try their best to do whatever the patient wants, but they do not have a cure, much to my dismay. If they do not believe the benefits of chemotherapy will be worth the side effects of chemotherapy, they will not recommend it. They still should provide some kind of treatment to increase quality of life and reduce pain, right up to the end.

If this doctor cannot communicate with you so that you understand what is going on, see if another medical person can get the reports and explain them to you. Your family doctor may be able to get copies if your husband will sign to share the details with him. Or possibly your local hospital has a medical social worker that could sit down and explain what tests have been done and what the outcome was.

Doctors cannot change the outcome of the tests. They can only report what they have found.But if they don't have a good bedside manner, can't communicate with you, or seem to have given up before you have started to fight, you should get a second opinion. Most insurance companies not only help with second opinions, they require them. Call your insurance company and see who they recommend. And get those reports to someone who can explain them to you.

Good luck!

CABBOTT
I just wanted to say thanks. You have probably helped her who knew to contact your insurance company. Also i was wondering about something you said. You said that if the cancer has spread from the lung they wont opperate because its inneffective. But i was wondering, my mother in law has a 5cm mass in one lung and small bits in the other. I was wondering if its possible for chemo and radiation to shrink or get rid of the bits in the one lung so the other lung is opperable? Is it even possible for chemo or radiation to get rid of cancer cells or does it just shrink it? Im sorry im still trying to understand so much so fast.

Thanks Samantha

JUDYV5 said:

Samantha
I was told that for the cancer to totally disappear from the chemo is very rare. What happens (if the chemo is effective). It will shrink it. If it shrinks over 25% it is called partial remission. People can stay in partial remission for "months", however, they will grow back.

JUDYV5
Thanks so much for you input. its hard trying to take in all the information when you have so many questions. So if she has lung cancer now and they tell us that they cant operate then chances are she is going to have cancer in her lung for the rest of her life. does that mean she can live years still if her cancer goes into remission then comes back and she does the treatment again and it goes into remission again. is that possible, or is she going to get treatment now and if she goes into remission she'll be ok until it comes back? can you have chemo and radiation over and over for the same cancer if its working??????????
Samantha

Good advice
I am in agreement with the others here, that you definitely need to get a second opinion. This present Dr. needs a class in bedside manners, at the least. Most hospitals have a social worker or a patient advocate that you can call and get some one-on-one. Please do not hesitate to call! Time is of the essence. You and hubby need to know about his condition so don't be afraid to ask questions. There are no stupid questions when it comes to life and death decisions. God bless and keep us posted!