A good laugh, at my expense

Little off topic, but I figure as the old saying goes, "Laughter is the best medicine", sooooo...Here's one at MY expense

I've found proof that electrical impulses in the body travel faster than the speed of sound. Here's my empirical evidence...


We've been having a HORRIBLE time with mice recently, and had purchased a bag of those good old fashioned mouse traps. You've seen them, they have the wood backing with a metal bar wound on a spring that holds about 5,000,000,000 ft/pounds of pressure? At least, that's what it feels like if you accidentally trigger the darned thing while sitting it out.

I don't know what everyone else uses, but we like to use peanut butter. Mice seem to notice the aroma very well and they seem to love the taste. We caught three of the little critters the first night, but there was one trap that made me scratch my head. The peanut butter was eaten right off the trigger, but it hadn't sprung??? Hmmmm.... okay, well... try again.

So the next night we caught a couple more, but AGAIN there was one trap that was devoid of bait. Holy COW batman! We've found a mouse that's evolved an IQ level higher than mine I guess!?!

So the third night, I was taking no prisoners. I got a fresh, new trap out. Before baiting it, I tested the firing trigger several times. Absolutely NOTHING wrong with sensitivity! So, I slathered it up with peanut butter, sit it where the others had been successful, and went to bed secure in the knowledge that no mouse could possibly outwit THAT trap.

The next morning... $@##*&^@%!!! The darned trigger was sparkling clean and the trap unsprung. This is three nights in a row the little varmit feasted away, defying the laws of physics, gobbling down my hard earned peanut butter!!! GRRRRRRRRR!!!

Now... I must warn you.. what comes next might be shocking. Let me preface it by saying that I'm an educated man. Not the typical redneck you hear about (y'know... "Here, hold my beer...WATCH THIS" type idiocy). So don't for a minute think that I hadn't, at least at the time, thought things through....

Sitting at the kitchen table, sipping my morning coffee, I'm totally at a loss as to how a little mouse could outwit me. How in the WORLD could it lick or nibble peanut butter off a metal bar without disturbing the bar and triggering the trap?!?!!? Is such a thing even POSSIBLE???

No one's home... momma is off to work, the kiddies are all in school. The only witnesses would be my dog and my cat... hmmmm.....

So, I get a fresh and clean trap out of the package, wash it off thoroughly, test the trigger several times. Just as sensitive as the other traps. Slater peanut butter on the trigger and set the trap. Very, VERY carefully I stick out my tongue and dab at the peanut butter...

Now, here's how I KNOW that electrical impulse travels faster than sound, because the pain impulse traveled from my tongue to the center of my brain and buzzed around in there for what seemed like SECONDS before I heard the snap of the trap.

I told Annie and the kids that I had bitten my tongue eating ice cream, which explained the slurred speech.

The swelling went down in a day or two.

Isn't physics fun?!?!