comments

kit kat
kit kat Member Posts: 56
in Breast Cancer #1
Can you beleive the comments of some people about this ordeal. I finished chemo Sept 29, and finally feel a little good about removing my wig at work. Everyone loved my new thick curly hair. Then one of my customers said " Wow it almost makes you want to have chemo to get thick hair" What a jerk. If only they knew.

Comments

  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #2
    No comment
    Just eyes ROLLING
  • butterflylvr
    butterflylvr Member Posts: 944
    #3
    aysemari said:

    No comment
    Just eyes ROLLING

    Me too... I am beyond words.
    Me too... I am beyond words. It's a good thing going through this process made us tough gals. Why don't people think before they speak?
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #4
    wow...terrible
    people just dont' think....sorry such a stupid comment....
  • sunshine0406
    sunshine0406 Member Posts: 65
    #5
    Try to understand where they are coming from
    I think that people don't know what to say and just want to relate to you in some way. I know that before I had kids I said some dumb things like I would never let my kids do____, or My kids would never act like that! Then I had kids and I see that I was so wrong about what kids do and how I would handle things. I also had a lot of pre-conceived notions about cancer...like I thought if it happened to me I would never do chemo or do rads, etc. But I did those things and more. I think if they have never gone through it they just don't know. I think they are just trying to be kind. I try to put myself in there shoes (pre cancer) and wonder what I might have said not knowing how hard it is to face this trial in my life. Also if they are just being mean you can't let it get to you, it just gets you down at a time when you need positive thoughts. I try to focus on the good people and things in my life and feel bad that they have to put me down to feel good about themselves. Remember you are strong and have people on here and (I am sure) in your life that care about you and can relate to how you are feeling! Have a happy positive day!
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #6
    I did not have chemo
    But my daughter's friend said to her "I Can't wait until you mom loses her hair"...little did he know ONLY radiation...it really hurt my daughter (at the time 16 yrs old) IT took her a long time to tell me..I just told her HE was/ is ignorant! IT does't bother me dont' let it bother her!

    Denise
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #7
    butterflylvr said:

    Me too... I am beyond words.
    Me too... I am beyond words. It's a good thing going through this process made us tough gals. Why don't people think before they speak?

    Kit Kat ...
    Many Warriors here on our site .. know me well enough to know without a doubt, I would of had some sort of comeback - nice or otherwise. Breast cancer has thought me to defend myself, my journey, my recovery and so on.


    My reply:
    Yes, it was my intention to face death, in exchange for curly hair .. You, should try it!


    My license plate reads in Bold Pink lettering .. I fight like a Girl! Bottom half: Breast Cancer Survivor.

    Strength and Courage,

    Vicki Sam
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #8
    sunshine0406 said:

    Try to understand where they are coming from
    I think that people don't know what to say and just want to relate to you in some way. I know that before I had kids I said some dumb things like I would never let my kids do____, or My kids would never act like that! Then I had kids and I see that I was so wrong about what kids do and how I would handle things. I also had a lot of pre-conceived notions about cancer...like I thought if it happened to me I would never do chemo or do rads, etc. But I did those things and more. I think if they have never gone through it they just don't know. I think they are just trying to be kind. I try to put myself in there shoes (pre cancer) and wonder what I might have said not knowing how hard it is to face this trial in my life. Also if they are just being mean you can't let it get to you, it just gets you down at a time when you need positive thoughts. I try to focus on the good people and things in my life and feel bad that they have to put me down to feel good about themselves. Remember you are strong and have people on here and (I am sure) in your life that care about you and can relate to how you are feeling! Have a happy positive day!

    @sunshine
    I totally agree with you 110%....so true...you never know until you are put in that spot...
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #9
    Extremely insensitive!
    Obviously the person who said that has no clue what anyone with cancer goes through. I stopped wearing my hat last week. I went to the pharmacy to pick up a script and the pharmacist did a double take as she realized I was "topless". She remarked that my hair was coming in very nicely and it really made me feel good. People should keep their mouths shut if they don't have something positive to say, eh!
    {{hugs}} Char
  • GayleMc
    GayleMc Member Posts: 311 Member
    #10
    cahjah75 said:

    Extremely insensitive!
    Obviously the person who said that has no clue what anyone with cancer goes through. I stopped wearing my hat last week. I went to the pharmacy to pick up a script and the pharmacist did a double take as she realized I was "topless". She remarked that my hair was coming in very nicely and it really made me feel good. People should keep their mouths shut if they don't have something positive to say, eh!
    {{hugs}} Char

    Hi. I work with the public,
    Hi. I work with the public, ( in a pharmacy ) and wore a wig through my treatment until I had just enough hair to cover my head. One guy said that I was a brave woman to be willing to be seen like that. (very short hair). He was speechless when one of my other customers told him I was braver than he knew, that I had just finished chemo. Only a few people knew as my wig was a good match for my pre chemo hair. In all fairness, he didn't know, but he's stilla jerk!!! I have heard him say ignorant things to others also. Sometimes you have to consider the source. Congrats on being able to go topless. It's a great feeling.
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #11
    cahjah75 said:

    Extremely insensitive!
    Obviously the person who said that has no clue what anyone with cancer goes through. I stopped wearing my hat last week. I went to the pharmacy to pick up a script and the pharmacist did a double take as she realized I was "topless". She remarked that my hair was coming in very nicely and it really made me feel good. People should keep their mouths shut if they don't have something positive to say, eh!
    {{hugs}} Char

    I understand...
    That people are thoughtless...but after two years of hearing stupid, thoughtless remarks from people I have just about had my fill ! From "gee, you don't look sick"..."so, are you throwing up a lot?"...."are you totally bald?"...."my aunt's next door neighbor's cousin had bc and she died."...."oh, this is just a bump in the road".....I think I would have responded to the person who said it might be worth chemo to get curly hair, my response might have been...."Well, I weighed getting a perm verses chemo and decided on chemo!".....Or, " Careful what you wish for!"

    I know we should just ignore these thoughtless remarks but sometimes one just has had enough! I actually had a "so called friend" ask me after chemo, when I was starting rads, "Who's driving you?"....I said "I'm driving myself"...she said "you can't do that?". When I asked "why?" she said..." You're going to end up in a wheelchair"...... so and so was in a wheelchair, couldn't walk"...I just looked at her dumbfounded...the so and so she was talking about was undergoing rads to the brain...for terminal brain cancer and had some paralysis....

    As you can tell, my patience has worn thin of stupid things people say....I try to let it go, but sometimes I can't help a snappy retort!

    Hugs,
    Nancy
  • GayleMc
    GayleMc Member Posts: 311 Member
    #12
    MAJW said:

    I understand...
    That people are thoughtless...but after two years of hearing stupid, thoughtless remarks from people I have just about had my fill ! From "gee, you don't look sick"..."so, are you throwing up a lot?"...."are you totally bald?"...."my aunt's next door neighbor's cousin had bc and she died."...."oh, this is just a bump in the road".....I think I would have responded to the person who said it might be worth chemo to get curly hair, my response might have been...."Well, I weighed getting a perm verses chemo and decided on chemo!".....Or, " Careful what you wish for!"

    I know we should just ignore these thoughtless remarks but sometimes one just has had enough! I actually had a "so called friend" ask me after chemo, when I was starting rads, "Who's driving you?"....I said "I'm driving myself"...she said "you can't do that?". When I asked "why?" she said..." You're going to end up in a wheelchair"...... so and so was in a wheelchair, couldn't walk"...I just looked at her dumbfounded...the so and so she was talking about was undergoing rads to the brain...for terminal brain cancer and had some paralysis....

    As you can tell, my patience has worn thin of stupid things people say....I try to let it go, but sometimes I can't help a snappy retort!

    Hugs,
    Nancy

    Nancy, did your friend ever
    Nancy, did your friend ever offer to drive you to treatment? I was also told I shouldn't drive myself but these folks never offered to do so. Ironic. Anyway, I'm glad you are doing well and totally agree with the snappy retort, however, I usually think of them after the fact, lol. Best Wishes.
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    #13
    Comments
    A rather neutral comment that would educate would be. "Gee a perm does the same thing, and is much cheaper. The only problem with a perm is that it doesn't kill stray cancer cells" But if they were being a smart Alec then I would say. "You know if it weren't for the fact that I had cancer, having chemo would probably be considered cruel and unusual punishent. I Bet it would be outlawed by the Geneva convention if used for anything other than cancer".
  • BioAdoptMom
    BioAdoptMom Member Posts: 358
    #14
    (((HUGS)))! One of my
    (((HUGS)))! One of my co-workers told me she wished she had BC so she could get a boob job paid for by her insurance company! People can be so insensitive.

    Nancy
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #15
    BioAdoptMom said:

    (((HUGS)))! One of my
    (((HUGS)))! One of my co-workers told me she wished she had BC so she could get a boob job paid for by her insurance company! People can be so insensitive.

    Nancy

    IDIOTS!
    In a few short months .. it will be 2 years since I heard words that would change my life forever, and turn my world upside down.

    I've heard and seen so much .. TOO much, in my opinion. Some people, even women are, IDIOTS!


    Vicki Sam
  • jendrey
    jendrey Member Posts: 377
    #16
    VickiSam said:

    IDIOTS!
    In a few short months .. it will be 2 years since I heard words that would change my life forever, and turn my world upside down.

    I've heard and seen so much .. TOO much, in my opinion. Some people, even women are, IDIOTS!


    Vicki Sam

    ...
    This morning I was at the post office, I hadn't been there in a awhile and the clerk tells me that she just loved my new hairstyle. My usual response is hey, with a little chemotherapy you too, could have the very same hairstyle. But this clerk knows about my breast cancer and we conversed a bit more..I left in a good mood.

    For most people I tell this to, it is a great 'shut-me-up'!!! A lot of the time they are just speechless. And you know what? I couldn't care any less. =)
  • kit kat
    kit kat Member Posts: 56
    #17
    jendrey said:

    ...
    This morning I was at the post office, I hadn't been there in a awhile and the clerk tells me that she just loved my new hairstyle. My usual response is hey, with a little chemotherapy you too, could have the very same hairstyle. But this clerk knows about my breast cancer and we conversed a bit more..I left in a good mood.

    For most people I tell this to, it is a great 'shut-me-up'!!! A lot of the time they are just speechless. And you know what? I couldn't care any less. =)

    comments
    Thank you everyone for writing back.Had a breast mri mon, and found nodule left side.When will this end!!
  • kit kat
    kit kat Member Posts: 56
    #18
    jendrey said:

    ...
    This morning I was at the post office, I hadn't been there in a awhile and the clerk tells me that she just loved my new hairstyle. My usual response is hey, with a little chemotherapy you too, could have the very same hairstyle. But this clerk knows about my breast cancer and we conversed a bit more..I left in a good mood.

    For most people I tell this to, it is a great 'shut-me-up'!!! A lot of the time they are just speechless. And you know what? I couldn't care any less. =)

    comments
    Thank you everyone for writing back.Had a breast mri mon, and found nodule left side.When will this end!!
  • Lynn Smith
    Lynn Smith Member Posts: 1,264 Member
    #19
    kit kat said:

    comments
    Thank you everyone for writing back.Had a breast mri mon, and found nodule left side.When will this end!!

    I said
    I said if I have to have chemo I hope my hair comes in with some curl.That is "IF" I need it.But I sure wouldn't want it for just the curls.I agree that was off the wall.Gee let's get chemo for curly hair.NONSENSE.People don't think before they speak. Does this person really really understand what chemo is like.I didn't need it but I hear so much from my friends who got it and from this Board.It is serious stuff.Very serious.

    Lynn Smith
  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
    #20
    Tell him - sure, here's my
    Tell him - sure, here's my Onco's information. Call today!
  • deeb111
    deeb111 Member Posts: 141 Member
    #21
    yes i know i had a reduction
    yes i know i had a reduction with my lumpectomy to be simetrical on both sides and i was bigger than needed anyway but didnt want this disease to get it and people say to me well you wanted that done anyway and if they only had a clue what they just said but i only can say do i think they r mean spirited comments no i think there clueless ones and they dont understand how it affects the ones who dont have choices

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