31yo male with lung cancer (lymphoma) and upcoming Stem Cell Transplant looking for "friends"

Teletraan
Teletraan Member Posts: 3
in Gay Men Talk About Cancer #1
I know this may be a long shot, to look for friends on here, but I would love to exchange stories and get to know other gay men or women who have dealt with cancer, are currently dealing with it, or have helped a loved out.

I am very scared about my upcoming stem cell transplant (SCT) in a couple of months and my tougher chemo treatment (R-ICE) that begins on Monday... I have already undergone ABVD (for Hodgkin's Lymphoma) R-CHOP (ineffective for my Diffuse Large B-Cell Non Hodgkin's lymphoma, for which I am beginning R-ICE in prep. for a SCT).

I have been in treatment since September 2010... It is turning out to be a very, very long journey. And even though I feel blessed to have family, friends and a loving partner, I often feel lonely because I don't know any folks who have undergone or are undergoing a similar experience.

Feel free to contact me, and tell me more about you... Location, age, relation to cancer, and anything else you might feel like sharing.

Comments

  • tigerjack
    tigerjack Member Posts: 18
    #2
    kind of a stretch but...
    I was just recently diagnosed with liver cancer, can't say that we have much in the way of common experience, but where it is similar I also have lots of good friends and a wonderful partner, but feel a bit alone and lost. As I live in San Francisco it's easy to meet all kinds of gay people and have connected with a few who are dealing with other cancers. Looking forward to checking out a GBT men's support group on Thursday. I'm 56 and have HIV (tested poz in 1988) so practiced in facing life-threatening conditions, but to put it mildly this is really a kick in the pants!
  • sangora
    sangora Member Posts: 213
    #3
    tigerjack said:

    kind of a stretch but...
    I was just recently diagnosed with liver cancer, can't say that we have much in the way of common experience, but where it is similar I also have lots of good friends and a wonderful partner, but feel a bit alone and lost. As I live in San Francisco it's easy to meet all kinds of gay people and have connected with a few who are dealing with other cancers. Looking forward to checking out a GBT men's support group on Thursday. I'm 56 and have HIV (tested poz in 1988) so practiced in facing life-threatening conditions, but to put it mildly this is really a kick in the pants!

    sangora
    I have to say that you are up against a big load. Know however that you are not alone. I have Esophalgia Cancer, incurrable and I seem to live from one CT scan to the next. Right now they are 8 weeks apart so I tend not to plan much beyond the next scan. Hopefully, this little neurotic exercise will go away the longer I get clean scans. I have had radiation, a three drug chemo cocktail and now take an oral drug, Xeloda at home 7 days on and 7 days off. So far this is handling the problem but as I am often told it is only a limited measure. At 62 this is not how I and my 45 y/o partner thought we would be living life. But, life is full of twist and turns and we have to learn to take each day and relish it for what it is. As hard as it can be, you must maintain a positve attitude. This is a key to survival. Negativity is so not good for recovery. Sam
  • youngcsn
    youngcsn Member Posts: 2
    #4
    You are not alone
    I am a 31 years old gay male with stage IV nasopharyngeal cancer. I was diagnosed in September 2010, and just finished my treatments in March 2011. I am still going through lots of side effects. I know how you feel alone sometimes even with all the support, because only YOU know how you feel when you have cancer, and how bad it could get. I sometimes actually want to be left alone because I don't feel like anyone understands me or I can offer anyone anything right now with cancer. Read my about me page to share some of my thoughts about fighting cancer. I am in Las Vegas, and got my treatment in Houston. Feel free to share anything with me.
  • jhorton8
    jhorton8 Member Posts: 1
    #5
    Hey! I was diagnosed last
    Hey! I was diagnosed last May with anaplastic oligoastrocytoma (grade 3 type of brain cancer) at the age of 20. 10 days before my 21st birthday I had my temporal lobe removed and a few weeks later started the 6 full weeks of chemo and radiation. Lost my hair due to radiation (which typically in this case your hair doesnt grow back... mine thankfully did) My primary doctor is with the Tisch brain tumor center through Duke. Im still on chemo pills (temodar) for 5 straight days a month and I fully enjoy the rest... I have 6 months to go and then I should be cancer free and off chemo... even the weak can fight cancer ;) I have lost many relatives to a variety of cancers and met some great friends during my time in doctor visits, sad to attend some of their funerals but I honestly have a much more fun, laid back life now that I know how it feels to be very close to losing it all. I know how you feel, but dont feel lonely buddy! (easier said than done, right?)


    facebook.com/j.wade.horton
    Feel free to find me on facebook, Id love to chat more with you guys!
  • lucas_88
    lucas_88 Member Posts: 10
    #6
    jhorton8 said:

    Hey! I was diagnosed last
    Hey! I was diagnosed last May with anaplastic oligoastrocytoma (grade 3 type of brain cancer) at the age of 20. 10 days before my 21st birthday I had my temporal lobe removed and a few weeks later started the 6 full weeks of chemo and radiation. Lost my hair due to radiation (which typically in this case your hair doesnt grow back... mine thankfully did) My primary doctor is with the Tisch brain tumor center through Duke. Im still on chemo pills (temodar) for 5 straight days a month and I fully enjoy the rest... I have 6 months to go and then I should be cancer free and off chemo... even the weak can fight cancer ;) I have lost many relatives to a variety of cancers and met some great friends during my time in doctor visits, sad to attend some of their funerals but I honestly have a much more fun, laid back life now that I know how it feels to be very close to losing it all. I know how you feel, but dont feel lonely buddy! (easier said than done, right?)


    facebook.com/j.wade.horton
    Feel free to find me on facebook, Id love to chat more with you guys!

    From a caregiver ...
    As a caregiver with my partner (who has stage 4 bladder cancer with mets to prostate/liver/lungs), I have witnessed first hand how cancer patients at times just want to be left alone. Though I can never fully understand it, I respect my partner's experience and try not to take it personally [of course, everything should always be about me :-) ]. While I fully comprehend the situation, I still struggle sometimes to think that I can fix/control everything and make his cancer go away -- it's a shred of hope that I'm not willing to let go quite yet.

    Even in my limited capacity to make everything okay, I think that the best I can do is to always show him that I am here for him to care, listen, love and respect. If nothing else, the cancer has made me grateful for having him and our relationship, and I treasure every day with him that I am given.

    Know that I am hoping the best for all of you and your loved ones, and I wish that I can provide something more "concrete", as I know that I do not know exactly what a cancer patient goes through. Thanks for listening ... guess I just needed to vent.

    ((hugs to all))
  • tigerjack
    tigerjack Member Posts: 18
    #7
    lucas_88 said:

    From a caregiver ...
    As a caregiver with my partner (who has stage 4 bladder cancer with mets to prostate/liver/lungs), I have witnessed first hand how cancer patients at times just want to be left alone. Though I can never fully understand it, I respect my partner's experience and try not to take it personally [of course, everything should always be about me :-) ]. While I fully comprehend the situation, I still struggle sometimes to think that I can fix/control everything and make his cancer go away -- it's a shred of hope that I'm not willing to let go quite yet.

    Even in my limited capacity to make everything okay, I think that the best I can do is to always show him that I am here for him to care, listen, love and respect. If nothing else, the cancer has made me grateful for having him and our relationship, and I treasure every day with him that I am given.

    Know that I am hoping the best for all of you and your loved ones, and I wish that I can provide something more "concrete", as I know that I do not know exactly what a cancer patient goes through. Thanks for listening ... guess I just needed to vent.

    ((hugs to all))

    Lucas --
    Sorry about your
    Lucas --

    Sorry about your partner. Cancer -- like AIDS back in the 80's and 90's -- is a real rude reminder that we can't always fix everything and sometimes there's nothing you can do to make it all right. Still doing what you can, being there for him is important. Wanting to be alone or not is an individual way of dealing with stress, and not particular to our situation.

    I've been meeting people who have been living for years with stage 4 cancer, and varieties of mets so there's always hope.
  • Teletraan
    Teletraan Member Posts: 3
    #8
    Thanks
    I am very pleased by the responses. Thanks. Learning about different experiences always makes me re-evaluate and reconsider my own. I wish there was a support group for gay men with cancer in Los Angeles, but so far, I have been unable to find one.

    I have just finished my second chemo treatment in prep. for the transplant and all things considered, I am doing OK. I am just feeling tired, physically and mentally, since I was diagnosed back in August 2010 and I'm still dealing with pretty hardcore chemo regimens to this date.

    If you'd like to get in touch with me, send me a private message on here and we can go from there. I will keep checking this post and I hope to read more replies...
  • Teletraan
    Teletraan Member Posts: 3
    #9
    Facebook & Twitter
    Feel free to find me on:
    facebook.com/jaimenasser
    twitter.com/jaimenasser
  • ftled
    ftled Member Posts: 3
    #10
    tigerjack said:

    kind of a stretch but...
    I was just recently diagnosed with liver cancer, can't say that we have much in the way of common experience, but where it is similar I also have lots of good friends and a wonderful partner, but feel a bit alone and lost. As I live in San Francisco it's easy to meet all kinds of gay people and have connected with a few who are dealing with other cancers. Looking forward to checking out a GBT men's support group on Thursday. I'm 56 and have HIV (tested poz in 1988) so practiced in facing life-threatening conditions, but to put it mildly this is really a kick in the pants!

    liver cancer
    hey friend!!!! im ed, I have stage 4 melanoma, also now have stage 4 liver cancer, multiple tumors, they gave me 3 to 9 months to live, its been 10 months and I feel better then ever!!!!! so whats up with that???? just goes to show you that drs are not always right, every day is a blessing!!!!! and I have stumped all medical rules and medical journals on the rules of liver cancer. so I do the best I can, one day at a time, I hope this finds u in good spirits!!!!!! im 52 poz, and love meeting new friends with cancer. take care
  • ftled
    ftled Member Posts: 3
    #11
    youngcsn said:

    You are not alone
    I am a 31 years old gay male with stage IV nasopharyngeal cancer. I was diagnosed in September 2010, and just finished my treatments in March 2011. I am still going through lots of side effects. I know how you feel alone sometimes even with all the support, because only YOU know how you feel when you have cancer, and how bad it could get. I sometimes actually want to be left alone because I don't feel like anyone understands me or I can offer anyone anything right now with cancer. Read my about me page to share some of my thoughts about fighting cancer. I am in Las Vegas, and got my treatment in Houston. Feel free to share anything with me.

    cancer
    hang in there bud, one day at a time!!!!!!! I have stage 4 melanoma, and liver cancer, multiple tumors, its a scary thing, but every day brings new challenges!!! I hope you have some friends locally and remember drs are not always right, always get a 2nd opinion, and manage your own health, I learned that the hard way!!!!!! ed ftled@msn.com
  • i_am_tatin
    i_am_tatin Member Posts: 5
    #12
    POSSIBILITY OF HAVING CANCER.. BUT HIDING..
    I'm just scared and confused. My cousin died earlier this year of lung cancer and I'm afraid I'm having symptoms of the same cancer. I've been having very painful back pains recently that wakes me up very early hours in the morning and couldn't sleep again, even if I tried to. Not just that, I've done some research of the symptoms and it seems I've experienced more than 3 symptoms of the said cancer. I just don't want to end up like my cousin, who spent his last days in the hospital. I just figured, if I die atleast I was able to do what I want to do and just be happy as I can. I don't mean to offend anyone of what I said about dying in the hospital. I'm just scared and confused. I just love my mom so much, I don't want to drag her in my painful situation.

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