Home from NC Again!

Hi all:

Basketcase checking in here! I got back home from NC on Thurs. Went up on the 10th so I could ride herd on Charlie's folks while my brother-in-law got settled in his new job and out of the world of unemployment. I had a great time and they let me bring both Rowdy and Sammy so I was glad of that especially with the weather like it was; tornadoes and all. I figured when it was so bad on Wed. night "Well I've got Rowdy and Sammy and I took Charlie and Blue too; so at least I've got what's really important to me with me! My mother in law still does not do too much and really doesn't do what she can do so I think that's pretty much how she's decided to be from now on. She doesn't get out to the stores because she's afraid she'll fall and will not take advantage of a wheelchair because she'd feel like a fool! I think I've told y'all she had a light heart attack, UTI and pneumonia Jan. of 2010 and was in rehab until April of last year so like her mother did she uses any and everything as an excuse to not do too much! Remember these are good old country people and she's 82. Now Charlie's dad who's 87 is out in his garden every chance he gets. He has a heart condition and was diagnosed with lymphoma about 14 years ago and does take preventative chemo treatment every three months. And he's really the outdoors type so if he can't put out a garden (and we're talking everything; I mean, beans, potatoes, cabbage, lettuce tomatoes, watermelons, etc.) we'd might as well bury him; so I've repeated what Charlie always told her, "Mama, if he drops dead in the garden he's gone happy!" She also has slight dementia and cannot remember anything for 5 minutes but of course can remember things from 40 years ago! But it's not so bad that she doesn't know people or anything at this point. It's more like she puts a load of clothes in the washer and may forget about them until two or three days later! I made her a list of everyday things and told her to just go over it everyday and maybe that'd help her. Also she sits in her recliner most of the day only up to eat, bathroom and check on him in the garden and then wonders why her back hurts which her doctors have told her it's from lack of excercise and sitting too long! She didn't like that!

Oh, wanted to ask prayer request for a friend of ours in Chatt. that has been diagnosed with H&N HPV. Had his tonsils out and is beginning chemo/rad. His doctor is very confident and has told him that this kind of cancer will not come back. I certainly hope so; but then Charlie's doc was very optimistic but didn't tell him it wouldn't come back; just that (during the first time around) he'd had patients with no reoccurance 10+ years and he fully expected that for him and if it did come back it would most likely be within the first 2 years and then of course y'all know the rest of the story. And Charlie's wasn't HPV either so don't know if that makes a difference. Remember our onc. is tops in his field but he doesn't sugarcoat anything either and did tell us that when his came back it had come back with avengence and in 1 1/2 years time. So, my thinking is I hope and pray Sonny's is totally gone and never comes back but I think you have to be on guard that it could come back. I mean this time last year Charlie was doing hunky dory and we know what happened. And along those lines my sister sent me an article written by Roy Exum for the Chatt. paper about some prominent people who had passed away and the papers noted that "they lost their battle with cancer"! He was outraged by that statement as he said that people he knew that had had cancer in his mind didn't lose the battle as they faced their disease with confidence and courage and therefore that was certainly not a loser in his book! Great article. I wholeheartedly agree. I consider Charlie a survivor for almost 2 years and he did face it both times with optimism and courage! So there to all those who think you "lose" the battle with cancer if you die from it!

It's been 8 months now since Charlie passed away and it still is very hard! I was at his Kmart yesterday as his manager had returned from maternity leave and I hadn't been by since she returned and I needed to get some flowers and tomato plants as Charlie always did that. This will be my first attempt at growing tomatos so pray for me as I so loved his "Charlie maters" as he called them! Anyway she asked me if was any easier for me and I told her "No, I don't think it ever gets any easier, you just go on!" She said she thought that too and went on about how she'd never seen anybody like him, so dedicated to the company; and so good with customers and how her parents were devastated when he passed away as they knew him and the fact that he'd kept that attitude even when they screwed him and so many long time employees over. And of course she was thrilled that everything had worked out ins. wise and all. I told her coming in there was the hardest thing I do. It is so hard to go in there and not see him working there as he loved it so! But they've been good to me and I love them and he loved them and after all Kmart was my bread and butter for 26 years and I don't like Walmart anyway! Anyway I enjoyed my visit and all. And I did get my flowers and tomato plants there as I needed to make sure the garden center was being run like it was supposed to be. Of course, it wasn't like he kept it, but looked pretty good.

Hope all is well with everyone. I'm home for a couple of weeks and then to Chatt. on the 14th for my great nephew's graduation. He's my brother's (Richard the one that passed away in Oct.) grandson and they were his legal guardians. He could have so easily gone the other way but turned himself around making good grades and wants to be a lawyer, not only does he want to be a lawyer, but he wants to be in politics and be in Washington so maybe he'll be the one to straighten everything out some day. And then I have a cousin's son's wedding that my sister and I will be attending on Memorial Day weekend in Lexington, KY. I'll drive to Chatt. and pick up my sister and we'll go from there. (Lord only knows what gas will be by then, at our Quick Trip near our house it was $3.83 for reg.) I was there getting lottery #'s for last night and tonight and when I got in my car to finish my errands, my car wouldn't start and I had to to have it towed in, but my ins. covered that and so now I'm waiting to hear from them as to what the problem is. Preliminary diagnosis is battery or starter. I hope and pray it's only one of those two. Another first for me to have to handle by myself but I did it and the tow guy was really nice he dropped me off at home and got all the plants and stuff I had in there out for me; so I've survived another first! Anyway I've rambled enough now so will sign off. Have a great weekend everyone and God Bless!

Jan (Basketcase)