Support tips for my partner undergoing reconstruction?

ChristopherJ
ChristopherJ Member Posts: 1
in Breast Cancer #1
Hi everyone,

My girlfriend is going in for nipple reconstruction in three weeks. We met after her previous surgery, so this is all new to me, and I'm wondering if anyone can offer some advice on being a good support for her, physically and emotionally.

She is a very strong woman and doesn't like to ask for help, so that's one thing I'm not sure how to handle.

Also, any insight about the surgery itself and how the recovery generally goes would be great.

Her doctor has provided some basic information, but it's very clinical and vague.

Any help will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance,

-Chris

Comments

  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    #2
    Welcome, Chris
    Chris, I just wanted to welcome you and bump up this thread so that those ladies who have had reconstruction will see it.

    I had lumpectomies, so don't have any words of experience to offer you, but we have many ladies here who've done all phases of reconstruction, and they're really good at offering their own experiences to add to the "clinical and vague" information you're talking about (I think we've ALL heard that kind of information from our doctors at one time or another!).

    Traci
  • csr771
    csr771 Member Posts: 117
    #3
    Welcome
    Welcome. As a woman, it is nice to see a man this interested in helping his partner. Unfortunately, I had reconstructive surgery in January, but am currently nippleless--that will come next year some time as I cannot stand even the thought of more surgery. It is hard for a woman having her breast or breasts removed to whatever degree. I wish that I had been fortunate enough to have a significant other when I had my mastectomy and reconstruction. Make her feel beautiful. Make her feel desired and wanted. Take an interest in her pre and post-operative care and be wiling to participate. Just let her know that you are there.
  • ladyg
    ladyg Member Posts: 1,577
    #4
    Hi Chris
    Welcome to the board. I am also one of those strong women who think they can do it all. I found out differently and was really glad my husband was there to help. I suggest you try to do little things that will be helpful and don't wait to be asked. I know I appreciated everything that was done without my asking.

    Hugs,
    Georgia
  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    #5
    Hey Chris
    Glad to hear such support! I've had the nipple reconstruction. It was a quick surgery and I came out of it fine. Had bandages covering each one and it's minor care until the stitches come off. I then had the tatoos done about 2 months later.

    There are a lot of "strong" women out there including your girlfriend so I suggest you treat her the same as if she didn't have all this going on. I know for me, personally, I just wanted to gravitate to the "normal" and not feel singled out. I welcomed the words of comfort and support, don't get me wrong. But you just want to get on with life.

    I wish you both the best!

    Sylvia
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    #6
    just had nipple reconstruction 2 weeks ago
    Hi Chris - I'm actually still recovering from my nipple reconstruction which was done 2 weeks ago. It was really a breeze - im sure it will be the same for your girlfriend as well -compared to the mastectomy surgery, and reconstruction process & surgeries -and the fact that nipple reconstruction pretty much is the end of the process of reconstruction - it is a piece of cake. The area is still pretty much numb from my previous surgeries. Now -if her plastic surgeon is removing skin from another part of her body & grafting that onto her breasts to make the nipples -then she'll probably have some pain from the donor site. But if her surgeon is doing a procedure similar to mine, where they just cut a flap on the breast, pull up the skin & sort of twist it around itself, and stitch it all together, it really is not painful at all. My surgeon used a local anesthetic to make sure it was numb all around, I was fully awake & it was done in the procedure room right in my plastic surgeon's office. It took about 35-40 minutes. I had to go back 10 days later to have my stitches removed. One thing that's kinda gross about it - a black scab will form over the top of the newly formed nipple after a few days, this is completely normal & is expected. It will eventually fall off (kinda like a newborn baby's umbilical cord -gross, i know). After about 4-5 weeks of healing, i can have my areolas tattooed on and then i will be completely finished with reconstruction.
    Best of luck to your girlfriend, if there are any specific questions your girlfriend has please feel free to have her send me a private message on here if she'd like, im always more than happy to share my experiences regarding my reconstruction.
    *hugs*
    Heather
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #7
    TraciInLA said:

    Welcome, Chris
    Chris, I just wanted to welcome you and bump up this thread so that those ladies who have had reconstruction will see it.

    I had lumpectomies, so don't have any words of experience to offer you, but we have many ladies here who've done all phases of reconstruction, and they're really good at offering their own experiences to add to the "clinical and vague" information you're talking about (I think we've ALL heard that kind of information from our doctors at one time or another!).

    Traci

    Just welcoming you too
    Just welcoming you too Chris. I had a lumpectomy, so, I can't offer any advice.

    Others that have had reconstruction will post for you.


    Hugs, Leeza
  • Clementine_P
    Clementine_P Member Posts: 518 Member
    #8
    Hi Chris,

    I had nipple reconstruction in February. My surgery was pretty much as Heatherbelle described and I too found it to be a breeze. The only difference was that I was in the hosptial for the reconstruction but awake the entire time and under local anestetic. After the surgery I only needed a couple of Tylenol. The nipples were covered for about a week with little plastic protectors (sort of noticeable under a sweater or blouse, so I wore suits to work that week) and then a week after that, I got my stitches removed. I will be getting my tattoos next month. All things considered, I think they look pretty convincing and I am pleased with everything. It is so thoughtful of you to try to get information for your girlfriend. You are most definitely a great boyfriend.

    If you have any specific questions, don't hesitate to ask.

    Good luck to you and your girlfriend.

    Clementine
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #9
    just being there
    even if not talking...just holding her hand...listen if she wants to talk...even buy thoughtful card...!

    When we are strong, you are right..hard to ask for help or even let our emtions show..I have my breakdowns in my car when alone...!

    Denise
  • jendrey
    jendrey Member Posts: 377
    #10
    disneyfan2008 said:

    just being there
    even if not talking...just holding her hand...listen if she wants to talk...even buy thoughtful card...!

    When we are strong, you are right..hard to ask for help or even let our emtions show..I have my breakdowns in my car when alone...!

    Denise

    ...
    OMG - Christopher you're truly a gem! I haven't had nipple reconstruction yet so can't say about that.

    As for a good support and yet comfortable bra, Target has a vast selection of styles and so, so, many colors of sports/activity bras this season @ about $16.99 each.

    Kudos to you! =)

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