son

My son Brian had brain cancer in 1983.Oct it was determined he had stage 4,he lived 6 weeks,he had a treah no talking on his part.You must ask your family member questions if they cant talk to raise their hand or leg ,for instance he was acting like he was in pain.I said Brian if your in pain lift up your left hand,he did I said do you want somethingfor pain if you do lift up your left leg he did.When I called the nurse in his room an told her he needs something for pain she questioned me,how do you know? you see they dont always ask..How sad. I became an nurse aide 2 yrs later wish I'd of been one when the cancer was found in his brain. He was 19 yrs old.He ended up with an infection they could not find it,I'm sure it was from the removal of the skull bone to get a biopsy but no proving that.He had a stroke so he could not move the right side of his body to well.Also his bowels moved I had to call the nurse in to clean him up.You must stay with your family as much as you can during these times to make sure they are getting treated properly..How sad is that.I spent many nights with him,I had to travel 70 miles to the hospital he was in, I had no money for food an drank lots of water,an the parking garage charged to park so had to leave at midnight after it was closed as the gate man was gone at that time.Hospitals have social workers that can give you food vouchers parking vouchers I know this now.My pain in losing him will never go away never..Then this past dec 2010 my husband of 10 years died from neglect a diabetic the nurses did not turn him a bedsore developed there is a wound vac they used 5 mos later on this sore ,if they had of used it earlier hed be alive today,this hosp I am suing.All I can say stay with your loved one as much as you can I ended up living with my husb an turning an feeding him.Be there is all I can say, get power of attorney the day before surgery as I did you can then demand what you want.You can even tell the nurses certain Drs you dont want in their room as the wound dr told me let my husb die the first week after his fingers were amp.he already had both legs amputated 8 yrs earlier be their voice as long as they can talk an say yes I want to live you fight for them..I decided when to tell them to shut off his respirator that was when he was modeling death is certain,I just told nurses no one come in his room untill i said i got in bed with him till his last breath an held him an told him God wants him,an he took his last breath.Just keep your faith...judy