My mom was laid to rest today

lenjam
lenjam Member Posts: 51
in Ovarian Cancer #1
only 10 months after being diagnosed with OVCA. Trying to be thankful that she's in a better place with no suffering and no more pain. I miss her already and can't imagine my life going on without her in it. To realize I can't pick up the phone and call her to tell her something funny that happened or to vent about something, etc. Having to tell my 4-year old daughter who loved her grandma with all her heart, that her grandma had to go to Heaven was almost unbearable. It's hard enough for me to process let alone a 4-year old.

I was reading a post from Kelly33 about talking to your mom and about what to say or not to say. Trust me when I say to tell everything and anything. I think my mom was afraid to let go because even though we tried to tell her that her kids would be "ok" she didn't want to leave us as much as we didn't want her to. We wanted the pain and suffering to leave her but we wanted her to stay. OVCA is such a horrible disease. My grandmother and now my mother have both been taken by this disease and it makes me so angry. Very angry that something more can't be done and that wonderful people like my mom have to suffer with it.

My mom always believed in her kids no matter what. She was a kind soul who would do anything for her children or grandchildren. Her family was her greatest joy. She always said she was meant to be a mother and was the best one ever.

I feel like I am rambling on and on and saying nothing. To all those fighting this horrific disease I wish you all the strength to get through it. To all the daughters out there who are watching their moms go through this hug your mom, kiss your mom, hold her hand, talk to her, let her talk to you - just be there!

Comments

  • Hissy_Fitz
    Hissy_Fitz Member Posts: 1,834
    #2
    I am speechless. I had no
    I am speechless. I had no idea your mom was so ill. I thought she was starting on another drug (Gemzar??) and doing fairly well.

    I am so sorry for your loss. I have a daughter, and it makes me sad beyond description to think of causing her this kind of grief.

    You have wonderful memories of your mom....I can tell that from your post. I always wanted to be a mom, too. It was my life's ambition when I was growing up. I even loved being pregnant. I never had morning sickness, and though I had long labors, I did not hesitate to do it over again.....and again, and again.

    Please take care of yourself, for your own daughter's sake. Have your CA125 monitored and don't ignore any of the symptoms. They are so quiet. It is such a hideously secretive disease.

    Carlene
  • BrittanyC
    BrittanyC Member Posts: 100
    #3
    I'm so sorry lenjam.. so
    I'm so sorry lenjam.. so sorry :(

    My mom lived only 7 months after diagnosis.. and she was holding onto dear life, not wanting to leave me. As she took her last words, my grandma told my mom that I would be very well taken care of and to not worry about me.

    I am sending you hugs and vibes

    -Brittany
  • kellyh33
    kellyh33 Member Posts: 287
    #4
    I am so sorry for your loss.
    I am so sorry for your loss. This makes me so sad and also so angry too. You are right people should not have to die from this dreadful disease.
    Please make sure you have a transvaginal ultrasound done as part of your yearly physical.
    When you are ready make sure you check in with us to let us know how you are doing.
    Sending hugs your way,
    Kelly
  • Cafewoman53
    Cafewoman53 Member Posts: 735 Member
    #5
    I am so sorry for your loss
    Those words do not convey enough of what I am feeling. You are a great daughter and Mom. Don't stop talking to her I believe somehow she will hear you. Ten months is so short thank -you for sharing your Mom with us.
    Colleen
  • kayandok
    kayandok Member Posts: 1,202 Member
    #6
    I am so sorry
    to hear this news. I seem to remember a clear PET scan a few months ago, so this news is very shocking for me. It must be even more for you. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family to day.
    Love and wram hugs,
    kathleen
  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member
    #7
    kayandok said:

    I am so sorry
    to hear this news. I seem to remember a clear PET scan a few months ago, so this news is very shocking for me. It must be even more for you. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family to day.
    Love and wram hugs,
    kathleen

    God bless you and your
    family. I am so sorry for your loss.

    Karen
  • LaundryQueen
    LaundryQueen Member Posts: 676
    #8
    kikz said:

    God bless you and your
    family. I am so sorry for your loss.

    Karen

    Saying goodbye to your mom
    It makes me sad to hear your sweet mother is gone. You may find yourself still in touch with her even though she is gone.

    I have been visited in my dreams by loved ones who passed on & it has brought me a feeling of comfort. It may be goodbye for now but not forever.
  • djinco
    djinco Member Posts: 87
    #9
    I am saddened by your loss.
    I am grateful to you for your thoughtful letter about your Mom. I can tell from your writing that she was very special to you. The photograph of the two of you together is beautiful and one that I am sure you will cherish forever. I am sorry that you had such a short time together after her diagnosis. This disease is unrelenting. Due to your family history with OVCA, I hope you will have a pelvic ultrasound each year with your check-up. Take care of yourself and blessings to you and your family.
  • azgrandma
    azgrandma Member Posts: 609 Member
    #10
    LaundryQueen said:

    Saying goodbye to your mom
    It makes me sad to hear your sweet mother is gone. You may find yourself still in touch with her even though she is gone.

    I have been visited in my dreams by loved ones who passed on & it has brought me a feeling of comfort. It may be goodbye for now but not forever.

    so sorry
    I am so sorry to hear this news
    May God send angels to comfort you honey
    Hugs Lynda
  • Mum2bellaandwilliam
    Mum2bellaandwilliam Member Posts: 412
    #11
    djinco said:

    I am saddened by your loss.
    I am grateful to you for your thoughtful letter about your Mom. I can tell from your writing that she was very special to you. The photograph of the two of you together is beautiful and one that I am sure you will cherish forever. I am sorry that you had such a short time together after her diagnosis. This disease is unrelenting. Due to your family history with OVCA, I hope you will have a pelvic ultrasound each year with your check-up. Take care of yourself and blessings to you and your family.

    My heart sunk reading you
    My heart sunk reading you post, I am so sorry. I feel your pain as a daughter watching your dear mum suffer in this way.Take comfort that she is at rest now.
    Please look after yourself and be strong for your baby, the loss of her nana is so terrible.I dread having to beak the news to my little girl , she is the same age. Big love and ((hugs)) from us xxxxx
  • srwruns
    srwruns Member Posts: 343
    #12
    Very painful. What a
    Very painful. What a special and wonderful daughter you have been.
  • lindaprocopio
    lindaprocopio Member Posts: 1,980 Member
    #13
    srwruns said:

    Very painful. What a
    Very painful. What a special and wonderful daughter you have been.

    My sincere condolences.
    I am so very sorry for your loss. I can only echo what others have said. Each of us with cancer worry more about those we will leave behind than what lies ahead for us personally. We hurt to see you hurting. Your mother would not want you to get too lost in your grief. I pray that each day your loss becomes easier to bear, until the day comes when you think of her, and smile with happy memories.
  • MK_4Dani
    MK_4Dani Member Posts: 314
    #14
    So sorry.
    Warm hugs to you. Another warrior with wings. Good bless you and your family.
    Mary
  • carolenk
    carolenk Member Posts: 907 Member
    #15
    MK_4Dani said:

    So sorry.
    Warm hugs to you. Another warrior with wings. Good bless you and your family.
    Mary

    Grandma is gone and will never be forgotten
    I am so sorry that another lovely woman has lost the fight. I know you will keep your mother's memory alive for your daughter. May neither of you ever deal with this disease again.

    I hope you find comfort wherever you can.

    Carolen
  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    #16
    carolenk said:

    Grandma is gone and will never be forgotten
    I am so sorry that another lovely woman has lost the fight. I know you will keep your mother's memory alive for your daughter. May neither of you ever deal with this disease again.

    I hope you find comfort wherever you can.

    Carolen

    Very sad news to hear
    I am so very sorry to hear of your mom's passing God bless you and your family...val
  • eward
    eward Member Posts: 210
    #17
    so sorry
    So sorry to hear this. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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