New to Cancer

albmom24
albmom24 Member Posts: 2
in Breast Cancer #1
I was diagnosed with Adenocarcinoma Infiltrating Lobular Cancer Friday, April 15. Since I discovered this on my own, (mammograms do not identify this type most of the time), I have read everything I could find on the disease. I had little to no knowledge of any cancers, as it has never been an issue in my family.
I had always thought that my heart disease would be my major problem. I had a quadruple bypass 10 years ago, when I was 54. I have learned to live with that and have been in good health since the surgery.
I have my first appointment with my surgeon this afternoon. I feel so strange kind of detached I guess, like looking at someone else with this problem. I guess I am losing my mind. I go about my daily routine and all of a sudden I think about it again. Does it get any easier to accept. I am not sure that I am up to this and it seems like everything is moving in slow motion.
I am trying to be positive, but since I know it has metastasized at least to the lymph nodes, its like I am just waiting to hear even worse things.

Comments

  • roseann4
    roseann4 Member Posts: 992 Member
    #2
    Sorry to hear you have bc.
    I also had lobular bc, but it was not in my lymph nodes. How do you know it is in the nodes? Mine were biopsied during my surgery and found to be negative. Lobular is most common in older women and does not often show up in a mamo. Mine was 1.8 cm. I had a partial mastectomy and radiation. You can get through this, too. This site had been a wonderful source of information and comfort. Hugs.

    Roseann
  • Boppy_of_6
    Boppy_of_6 Member Posts: 1,138
    #3
    roseann4 said:

    Sorry to hear you have bc.
    I also had lobular bc, but it was not in my lymph nodes. How do you know it is in the nodes? Mine were biopsied during my surgery and found to be negative. Lobular is most common in older women and does not often show up in a mamo. Mine was 1.8 cm. I had a partial mastectomy and radiation. You can get through this, too. This site had been a wonderful source of information and comfort. Hugs.

    Roseann

    Welcome
    Sorry you need to be here but you have found a great source of support and info. I had a different type of BC so I am not sure I can be of much help. It is a shock to hear the words you have cancer but, we have all been there and have made it through. As we say it is doable. Keep us posted on how you are. Prayers and God Bless
    (((hugs))) Janice
  • albmom24
    albmom24 Member Posts: 2
    #4
    roseann4 said:

    Sorry to hear you have bc.
    I also had lobular bc, but it was not in my lymph nodes. How do you know it is in the nodes? Mine were biopsied during my surgery and found to be negative. Lobular is most common in older women and does not often show up in a mamo. Mine was 1.8 cm. I had a partial mastectomy and radiation. You can get through this, too. This site had been a wonderful source of information and comfort. Hugs.

    Roseann

    Nodes
    I had three needle biopsies as an outpatient last week. One was in the armpit area. That is why they said that it had metastasized.
    Thank you for responding. It is strange how even though I have all my family and friends, I feel so alone.
  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
    #5
    albmom24 said:

    Nodes
    I had three needle biopsies as an outpatient last week. One was in the armpit area. That is why they said that it had metastasized.
    Thank you for responding. It is strange how even though I have all my family and friends, I feel so alone.

    Like Teena said, you are not
    Like Teena said, you are not alone. Family and friends love you and are there for you, but most of us have learned that unless someone has been there, or is there, they don't know what you are feeling, they don't know the fear and fatigue that surrounds this lovely disease, and our friends and family just want us to get better!
    I am so thankful for this board as there is always someone posting with information that is so helpful, and when someones vents, so often they are saying exactly what you are feeling.
    I also like that there is a humorous side to so many on this board!
    My prayers are with you on your journey.
    ~Carol
  • mariam_11_09
    mariam_11_09 Member Posts: 691 Member
    #6
    Sorry about your diagnosis
    Sorry about your diagnosis however welcome to this board where you will find a great deal of support from a wonderful group of women.

    I hear what you are saying about the 'strange kind of detached' feeling. For me, initially it was very surreal. I too would go about daily life as normal then suddenly think of the cancer. Even though it was not a surprise that I had cancer, it was in some way a shock! Not sure if that makes sense. It does get easier, at least for me, once I got into all the doctor's appointments and treatment started that surreal feeling moved into 'this is just what I am doing in life right now' feeling and it has become a part of life for me. I am in my second year of treatment and am not likely to be done until the end of the year.

    I am not sure what you mean by it mestatstizing in your lymph node. I had 4 positive lymph nodes and a mass in one of them however no mass was found anywhere else in my body.

    For me, being positive does not mean excluding the reality of the situation and I did ask myself the questions - "what would it mean to me if I stage 4 cancer" or in general "what would it mean to me if such and such happened" and it helped me get in touch with what I felt around these issues. The unknown aspect of it can be very unnerving.

    I wish you well.
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #7
    so so sorry you are going t hrough this
    MY ONE BIG suggestion if bring 1-2 people along to your appt...it was a great help to me..(they offered and took them up on it) I remember talking about this and that...when he said survioral rate from there on it was a blur. MY friend (also BC few times) who came along was such a great help asking questions, remembering what the Dr said etc...so much to take it...so IF YOU have anyone just an extra set of ears...it's a big help or it was to ME>>>>

    I just wanted everything over asap...!

    Denise
  • NJMom10
    NJMom10 Member Posts: 176
    #8
    I felt the same way at first and it does get better
    I felt the same way you did at first. For the first few months I was kind of walking in a fog just making decisions as they came my way. I was very lucky that I got excellent recommendations for doctors and treatment centers because I was kind of just going with whatever I was told to do. I also felt very alone. I was diagnosed in September and went through chemo during the holidays...From Halloween, through Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. Because I didn't feel well and I was afraid of getting sick I stayed away from the large family parties which made me feel even more alone.

    But I wasn't alone. I hooked up with this board and asked questions and read the answers to other people's questions, some of which made me laugh out loud. My family came together for me like I never imagined they would. I went out to the Feel Better Look Great event and compared notes with other cancer patients. And after a while I started to feel better.

    You will feel better too. I guarantee it. And you are definitely not alone.
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #9
    I think
    I was walking around in a cloud for awhile after being dx since I'm the 5th in my family. I'm 62 and kinda felt like I couldn't avoid it forever. I had bilateral mastectomy, 6 rounds of chemo and 28 rads. When I was done I felt odd (detached) like I should be happy but didn't feel that way. It may take time to settle in but I want to welcome you to the site and hope you post often.
    {{hugs}} Char
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    #10
    detatched emotions
    Welcome. I actually make use of the detached feelings. I have that detachment while I am in the doctor's office. I bring my laptop computer and have all of the questions in the computer. I ask the questions and type the answers to the questions right in the office as I can type faster than I could write the answer. In this way I can keep the emotions at bay and beleive I can make better decsions and understand the doctor's answers better. Then once I get home I let the emotions take over. This seems to work well for me. I know it would not work for everyone. It also seems to copy part of my methods used durring my professional occupation, so it is sort of second nature.

    We get to this website and can sort out our emotions. We hold one another up in prayer as well. Some of the ladies get together on occasion. WE hope you will decide to spend some time on the site and let it work for you.
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    #11
    April 15 2009 is when I was DX
    I was DX with IDC and IDCS with metastasized nodes. They removed 22 nodes 2 were positive. It's really hard to keep positive when all your hearing is all this bad stuff. Once they get all the information out it will get some what better. It's really scary I know, but you will get through it. I am glad you found this site because we will help you the best we can to get through. It does get easier to accept ( well it did for me at some point ). I just knew I wanted to live and watch my grandkids grow up so I did what I had to. It was not easy in any way,but it was not horrible, but you do what you have to. It was doable.Give yourself some time here to take it all in. Then take a deep breath and then kick this cancers **** !!!!
  • BioAdoptMom
    BioAdoptMom Member Posts: 358
    #12
    Kat11 said:

    April 15 2009 is when I was DX
    I was DX with IDC and IDCS with metastasized nodes. They removed 22 nodes 2 were positive. It's really hard to keep positive when all your hearing is all this bad stuff. Once they get all the information out it will get some what better. It's really scary I know, but you will get through it. I am glad you found this site because we will help you the best we can to get through. It does get easier to accept ( well it did for me at some point ). I just knew I wanted to live and watch my grandkids grow up so I did what I had to. It was not easy in any way,but it was not horrible, but you do what you have to. It was doable.Give yourself some time here to take it all in. Then take a deep breath and then kick this cancers **** !!!!

    I'm sorry you had to join us
    I'm sorry you had to join us here, but I am sure you will find this to be a great place for support and advice!

    I am fairly new to this too and still haven't had my chemo or rads, but I can tell you based on experience so far, that once you have a plan it does get easier. It sounds like you are in the denial phase of grief and that is normal. I have been dealing with that too off and on since finding out I am having chemo. I also dealt a lot with anger, so just be prepared for that possibility.

    Please know we are here for you and will all hold your hand as you join us in going through this journey. (((((HUGS)))))

    Nancy
  • Texasgirl10
    Texasgirl10 Member Posts: 668
    #13
    BioAdoptMom said:

    I'm sorry you had to join us
    I'm sorry you had to join us here, but I am sure you will find this to be a great place for support and advice!

    I am fairly new to this too and still haven't had my chemo or rads, but I can tell you based on experience so far, that once you have a plan it does get easier. It sounds like you are in the denial phase of grief and that is normal. I have been dealing with that too off and on since finding out I am having chemo. I also dealt a lot with anger, so just be prepared for that possibility.

    Please know we are here for you and will all hold your hand as you join us in going through this journey. (((((HUGS)))))

    Nancy

    I'm sorry
    I'm sorry that you have a reason to be here. I don't have the same type of bc as you, but I certainly understand your fears and the feeling of being detached. You have come to a wonderful place for support and knowledge. Please know that you are not alone, all of your pink sisters are here and will be with you as you fight and win this courageous battle.

    Hugs and God Bless,

    Dawne
  • ladyg
    ladyg Member Posts: 1,577
    #14
    Welcome
    I am sorry you needed to find us but glad you did. I don't think that there is anyone here who had an easy time when they got the news. I know I didn't. You will find a lot of support and information here. And if you just need someone to listen we do that well too.
    Just remember you come first and you can do this.

    Hugs,
    Georgia
  • Hippiechick58
    Hippiechick58 Member Posts: 320
    #15
    ladyg said:

    Welcome
    I am sorry you needed to find us but glad you did. I don't think that there is anyone here who had an easy time when they got the news. I know I didn't. You will find a lot of support and information here. And if you just need someone to listen we do that well too.
    Just remember you come first and you can do this.

    Hugs,
    Georgia

    I can related to that
    I can related to that "detached feeling" as it occured frequently during my early days of diagnosis. I learned that for me, it was a type of "shock" to the system! Dissociation is another word for it. It resolved itself after a period of time (probably a month or so.) As I got involved in my treatment(surgery, 5 months of chemo, and now rads and Arimidex) I became myself again, though slightly diminished. I am glad you found our board, but I'm not happy that you have to be here. No one really wants to be here, but the support, caring and comraderie that you get here is unparalled. I wish you well on your journey. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Be Well,
    Dianne
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    #16
    albmom24 said:

    Nodes
    I had three needle biopsies as an outpatient last week. One was in the armpit area. That is why they said that it had metastasized.
    Thank you for responding. It is strange how even though I have all my family and friends, I feel so alone.

    Not alone
    You are not alone. You may not have any idea how many of us "sisters" are out here ... and communicating on this discussion board. You are now one of "us" ... and even though what brought us all here is breast cancer ... we have become family ... and you are not alone.

    I am 67 and was diagnosed at 64 ... had lumpectomy, chemo, radiation ... and so far so good. I can't tell you how much strength and knowledge I have gotten from this wonderful group. I couldn't have done it without them. I had a million questions ... and a million feelings I didn't know how to deal with ... but the encouragement, knowledge, support and sharing of experiences ... is totally amazing. Nothing is "off base" to write about. I've jumped on several times when I just needed to "vent" ... and within no time someone responded with the encouragement I needed. It seems like there's always someone here with just the right thing to say ... 24/7.

    Welcome to the "club" no one ever wants to join.

    hugs.

    teena
  • Marsha Mulvey
    Marsha Mulvey Member Posts: 597 Member
    #17
    Hippiechick58 said:

    I can related to that
    I can related to that "detached feeling" as it occured frequently during my early days of diagnosis. I learned that for me, it was a type of "shock" to the system! Dissociation is another word for it. It resolved itself after a period of time (probably a month or so.) As I got involved in my treatment(surgery, 5 months of chemo, and now rads and Arimidex) I became myself again, though slightly diminished. I am glad you found our board, but I'm not happy that you have to be here. No one really wants to be here, but the support, caring and comraderie that you get here is unparalled. I wish you well on your journey. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Be Well,
    Dianne

    albmom
    Hello and welcome. I think you will find this site very helpful when it comes to that "detached" feeling. I remember when I first received my diagnosis, I didn't tell anyone except the lady I worked with because I was having to miss some work due to many further tests and appointments. My family and friends didn't know until the day before I was to have surgery to implant my port.

    Like you, I felt a little isolated because there was no history of cancer (of any kind) in our family. Also, I knew very little about cancer but sought as much information as I could. I read all the publications from the ACS, from my oncologists office, and on-line. I truly believe that "knowledge is power". I commend you for trying to find out as much as you can, but at the same time would caution you to be sure that what you read applies to your specific type of cancer.

    Lobular breast cancer is not as common as ductal, but we have that in common. However, I thought that adenocarcinoma only applied to cancers in the digestive system. As for the lymph nodes (we have that in common too), try not to jump to conclusions until all the tests are done. That's when you'll know for sure what you're facing.

    Sending you best wishes. Stay hopeful and strong. God bless us all.
    Marsha

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