Work/Co-workers/Bosses and Cancer?

dixiegirl
dixiegirl Member Posts: 1,043 Member
in Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin) #1
I got in trouble today guys. For not being 100% while I am at work and the strain it's causing for my co-workers. They would rather me stay home than to do the best I can while I am there. My timing is off. Not staying caught up and then they don't know when to help. I can barely stop crying and don't have the first idea of a clue what to do about it.

There have been so many days leading up to this that is completely overwhelming, both physically with the surgeries and recovery times and this wretched chemo from hell. Nobody does 100% with these kinds of problems do they? Am I just a weak person here? I work in Customer Service and have to talk all day on the phone, and SOUND pleasant and happy regardless how I feel inside. I feel like a schizoid from time to time LOL.

I don't know what to do, honestly. My greatest fear is being trapped in my house with nowhere to go, nothing that I will be able to do. THAT is insanity to me. I really don't want to go there quicker than I am headed. So I guess tomorrow I think I am going to go into work looking like a Stepford wife and do my best not to get myself in any deeper than I already am.

I thought my co-workers liked me, oh well maybe they just tolerate me. I don't know if I can get through a full day without the desire to strangle someone. Wish me luck.

What a nice Happy Birthday to you, huh?

Beth
Crazy sick person.

Comments

  • Buckwirth
    Buckwirth Member Posts: 1,258 Member
    #2
    Human Resources
    Is the first place you should go. They are required under the Americans with Disabilities Act to make reasonable accommodations. Your co-workers also have to refrain from creating a hostile work environment.

    HR may be able to clear the air. If not, there is always an attorney....
  • She514
    She514 Member Posts: 47
    #3
    HR
    I'm with Buckwirth on this one. I use to work in Human Resources and a hostile workplace is not tolerated. Sorry you have to endure this on top of everything else. Hugs!
    Rosie
  • allmost60
    allmost60 Member Posts: 3,178 Member
    #4
    100%?!!!
    Hi Beth,
    Are they nuts, or what..100%!!! There's no way you can be expected to work at that level of performance. I have to agree with the others, go to HR and have a sit down discussion.
    I can't imagine working during treatment, though I know many do. Let us know what happens. Hang in there..Love...Sue (FNHL-2-3A-6/10)
  • truckingalong
    truckingalong Member Posts: 445 Member
    #5
    allmost60 said:

    100%?!!!
    Hi Beth,
    Are they nuts, or what..100%!!! There's no way you can be expected to work at that level of performance. I have to agree with the others, go to HR and have a sit down discussion.
    I can't imagine working during treatment, though I know many do. Let us know what happens. Hang in there..Love...Sue (FNHL-2-3A-6/10)

    Being a Soldier at work
    Beth,

    I returned to work for the first time in 8 months last week. Needless to say, I was a wreck. I was just not with it - I realize it was not ME but my body dealing with the s**t! Yet, I felt crummy for the whole week. Today was a better day. Human Resources lady became more human and was kind enough to remind me that I need to take "baby steps" in my work.

    Looking at my co-workers, I do wonder how they feel when dealing with me. I guess it has to do with balance of dealing with this whole thing. I did shared my experiences with them and they seemed to empathize... I surely hope that your co-workers at least become more supportive as time goes along and at least for me. Most importantly, take care of yourself first then work second. I had to leave work early when I was not with it. Best to you.

    Hugs,
    Liz
  • onlytoday
    onlytoday Member Posts: 609 Member
    #6
    I'm with Buckwirth on this too
    Beth,

    Naw, you're not crazy. They are not right HR should be able to investigate and solve this for you. It's a hostile work environment and you absolutely do not have to put up with that. Good grief you have enough on your plate already without this.

    Keep your chin up and make that call.

    We are all with you.

    Love,
    Donna

    NMZ NHL stage iv 05/10 REMISSION 01/11/11
  • onlytoday
    onlytoday Member Posts: 609 Member
    #7
    I'm with Buckwirth on this too
    Beth,

    Naw, you're not crazy. They are not right HR should be able to investigate and solve this for you. It's a hostile work environment and you absolutely do not have to put up with that. Good grief you have enough on your plate already without this.

    Keep your chin up and make that call.

    We are all with you.

    Love,
    Donna

    NMZ NHL stage iv 05/10 REMISSION 01/11/11
  • onlytoday
    onlytoday Member Posts: 609 Member
    #8
    I'm with Buckwirth on this too
    Beth,

    Naw, you're not crazy. They are not right HR should be able to investigate and solve this for you. It's a hostile work environment and you absolutely do not have to put up with that. Good grief you have enough on your plate already without this.

    Keep your chin up and make that call.

    We are all with you.

    Love,
    Donna

    NMZ NHL stage iv 05/10 REMISSION 01/11/11
  • onlytoday
    onlytoday Member Posts: 609 Member
    #9
    I'm with Buckwirth on this too
    Beth,

    Naw, you're not crazy. They are not right HR should be able to investigate and solve this for you. It's a hostile work environment and you absolutely do not have to put up with that. Good grief you have enough on your plate already without this.

    Keep your chin up and make that call.

    We are all with you.

    Love,
    Donna

    NMZ NHL stage iv 05/10 REMISSION 01/11/11
  • vinny59
    vinny59 Member Posts: 1,036 Member
    #10
    work
    Beth, first I would talk to your HR dept., second why don't you scale your hours back a bit? you can still work I believe 32 hrs. and still recieve your benefits..... Vinny
  • Michele23
    Michele23 Member Posts: 168
    #11
    Rude People
    Gee Beth, you must work with some real creeps.I'm with you about sitting around at home.What goes around comes around not that I'm wishing cancer on anyone.I'd scale back the hrs. if possible and talk with HR.Hang in there your not crazy.Michele DX95FNHL3
  • yesyes2
    yesyes2 Member Posts: 591
    #12
    Michele23 said:

    Rude People
    Gee Beth, you must work with some real creeps.I'm with you about sitting around at home.What goes around comes around not that I'm wishing cancer on anyone.I'd scale back the hrs. if possible and talk with HR.Hang in there your not crazy.Michele DX95FNHL3

    I Agree
    Beth,

    I am in agreement that you should talk with HR. You do not need this negative energy in your life right now. I'm just blown away that your working through RICE, you poor dear must be exhausted. And I'd sure like to meet the worker that is at 100% all day everyday. As a former accounting and office manager I've never met that worker, not even me, LOL.

    Sending energy and love,
    Leslie
  • KC13167
    KC13167 Member Posts: 215
    #13
    Not crazy or weak
    You have been under such extreme pressure lately. You are a smart, wise, brave and caring woman! Share your situation with HR, laws are in place to protect us in the workplace. Your HR rep should be able to problem solve these issues with you. Shame on your supervisor for saying that you are causing strain on your co-workers, he/she needs to get a backbone and speak for him/herself. Just saying! Good luck, let us know how you work it out. Kellie
  • dixiegirl
    dixiegirl Member Posts: 1,043 Member
    #14
    KC13167 said:

    Not crazy or weak
    You have been under such extreme pressure lately. You are a smart, wise, brave and caring woman! Share your situation with HR, laws are in place to protect us in the workplace. Your HR rep should be able to problem solve these issues with you. Shame on your supervisor for saying that you are causing strain on your co-workers, he/she needs to get a backbone and speak for him/herself. Just saying! Good luck, let us know how you work it out. Kellie

    Thanks Guys
    Today was a little better, although I am sure she knows that I am still a pretty unhappy camper. I sent an email last night from home to my boss and some of my co-workers. I was not nasty, I refuse to drop to that level.

    Today my boss seemed somewhat better and only made one comment when she saw me wearing a mask due to germs. I had called HR to see if they had any. Too many people I work closely with are in contact with some extremely sick kids. I am not about to take chances. Once I explained about the possibility of a fever putting me in the hospital she understood, course I felt stupid but stupid is at least healthy and walking around right?

    I'm being very careful and found the culprit of the group. At least I know for sure who to be watching. She will not blindside me again. I really do not miss being mid twenties. She's young enough to be my kid. Enough drama.

    Take care guys, and you bet I will do what I have to should the need arise. I won't put my life at risk.


    Thanks,
    Beth
  • KC13167
    KC13167 Member Posts: 215
    #15
    dixiegirl said:

    Thanks Guys
    Today was a little better, although I am sure she knows that I am still a pretty unhappy camper. I sent an email last night from home to my boss and some of my co-workers. I was not nasty, I refuse to drop to that level.

    Today my boss seemed somewhat better and only made one comment when she saw me wearing a mask due to germs. I had called HR to see if they had any. Too many people I work closely with are in contact with some extremely sick kids. I am not about to take chances. Once I explained about the possibility of a fever putting me in the hospital she understood, course I felt stupid but stupid is at least healthy and walking around right?

    I'm being very careful and found the culprit of the group. At least I know for sure who to be watching. She will not blindside me again. I really do not miss being mid twenties. She's young enough to be my kid. Enough drama.

    Take care guys, and you bet I will do what I have to should the need arise. I won't put my life at risk.


    Thanks,
    Beth

    Be Careful!
    My company forbids us to wear masks. Some big HR, woo-haa with bird flu. Don't give them any ammunition to "get" you with, especially with a 20-something chick who's not on your side to begin with. YOU are the better person! Kellie
  • amckenney
    amckenney Member Posts: 1
    #16
    Cancer and Work
    Hi Beth,

    I'm so sorry to hear about the troubles that you have been having. Not sure if you've heard of it before or not, but I work for a non-profit called Cancer and Careers. Our mission is to educate and empower employees with cancer, and we offer a ton of resources including free publications, info on your rights, etc. (check us out at www.cancerandcareers.org).

    However I think you might want to take advantage of the career coaching on our website which we offer for free. One of our coaches could help you sort out your work situation.

    I hope this helps!

    Best,
    Alice
  • JoanieP
    JoanieP Member Posts: 573
    #17
    dixiegirl said:

    Thanks Guys
    Today was a little better, although I am sure she knows that I am still a pretty unhappy camper. I sent an email last night from home to my boss and some of my co-workers. I was not nasty, I refuse to drop to that level.

    Today my boss seemed somewhat better and only made one comment when she saw me wearing a mask due to germs. I had called HR to see if they had any. Too many people I work closely with are in contact with some extremely sick kids. I am not about to take chances. Once I explained about the possibility of a fever putting me in the hospital she understood, course I felt stupid but stupid is at least healthy and walking around right?

    I'm being very careful and found the culprit of the group. At least I know for sure who to be watching. She will not blindside me again. I really do not miss being mid twenties. She's young enough to be my kid. Enough drama.

    Take care guys, and you bet I will do what I have to should the need arise. I won't put my life at risk.


    Thanks,
    Beth

    Sorry
    I am so sorry the people at work had no empathy. You are a spunky lady. Speak to HR if you have to everytime you feel like you are being discriminated against. I had small round masks that didn't make me look like I was on the way to rob a bank. Take care and stand up for yourself. You are right. Take care and God bless you. Joanie

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