New Number
I admit it, I'm scared. It's doubled.
Leesa
Comments
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Well, crap. Don't panic yet
Well, crap. Don't panic yet (I know....easier said than done.) It's one lousy point over the "norm" - not a big deal. And it's too early to call this a trend. When is your doc going to re-test?
Leesa....don't forget that we are here for you, day or night.
I'm wearing out my Rosaries, guys. This group is due for some good news for a change.
Carlene
PS....I am scheduled for a scan on the 12th and new labs on the 14th. Yesterday I had several hours of urinary urgency - one of the very few symptoms of OC I experienced back in 2009, pre-diagnosis. My stomach has been in knots ever since. I want desperately to find out what my new number is, but at the same time, I don't want to know. I hate cancer with every fiber of my being. It's not enough that it tries to kill us, it has to torture us with dread and uncertainty, as well.0 -
LEESA & CARLENEHissy_Fitz said:Well, crap. Don't panic yet
Well, crap. Don't panic yet (I know....easier said than done.) It's one lousy point over the "norm" - not a big deal. And it's too early to call this a trend. When is your doc going to re-test?
Leesa....don't forget that we are here for you, day or night.
I'm wearing out my Rosaries, guys. This group is due for some good news for a change.
Carlene
PS....I am scheduled for a scan on the 12th and new labs on the 14th. Yesterday I had several hours of urinary urgency - one of the very few symptoms of OC I experienced back in 2009, pre-diagnosis. My stomach has been in knots ever since. I want desperately to find out what my new number is, but at the same time, I don't want to know. I hate cancer with every fiber of my being. It's not enough that it tries to kill us, it has to torture us with dread and uncertainty, as well.
Leesa:
My numbers just doubled (to 28), and a month later I had the test retaken and it went back down to 18. Could have been inflammation some where, an infection, etc. Please don't panic yet. I know how much anxiety this creates. Sending you lots of HUGS to squeeze out that anxiety!
Carlene, I know what you're feeling, too. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, but it still gnaws at us when we don't know that number, or what the deal is with pain, etc. I'm sending lots of hugs to you, too!
Monika0 -
Urinary urgency & signs of ascitesHissy_Fitz said:Well, crap. Don't panic yet
Well, crap. Don't panic yet (I know....easier said than done.) It's one lousy point over the "norm" - not a big deal. And it's too early to call this a trend. When is your doc going to re-test?
Leesa....don't forget that we are here for you, day or night.
I'm wearing out my Rosaries, guys. This group is due for some good news for a change.
Carlene
PS....I am scheduled for a scan on the 12th and new labs on the 14th. Yesterday I had several hours of urinary urgency - one of the very few symptoms of OC I experienced back in 2009, pre-diagnosis. My stomach has been in knots ever since. I want desperately to find out what my new number is, but at the same time, I don't want to know. I hate cancer with every fiber of my being. It's not enough that it tries to kill us, it has to torture us with dread and uncertainty, as well.
Leesa & Carlene
Hopefully, you have not had a sudden increase in your weight or abdominal girth (that's how I monitored the ascites when I had it). I monitor those objective signs on a regular basis.
Hoping for the best for you both.0 -
No weight gain, but I amLaundryQueen said:Urinary urgency & signs of ascites
Leesa & Carlene
Hopefully, you have not had a sudden increase in your weight or abdominal girth (that's how I monitored the ascites when I had it). I monitor those objective signs on a regular basis.
Hoping for the best for you both.
No weight gain, but I am dieting so it's hard to say. I don't have the sudden increase in girth that I had pre-diagnosis, so that's a good thing.
I can turn anything into a cancer crisis and I have no idea how to curb that.
Carlene0 -
Darnit Carlene,Hissy_Fitz said:Well, crap. Don't panic yet
Well, crap. Don't panic yet (I know....easier said than done.) It's one lousy point over the "norm" - not a big deal. And it's too early to call this a trend. When is your doc going to re-test?
Leesa....don't forget that we are here for you, day or night.
I'm wearing out my Rosaries, guys. This group is due for some good news for a change.
Carlene
PS....I am scheduled for a scan on the 12th and new labs on the 14th. Yesterday I had several hours of urinary urgency - one of the very few symptoms of OC I experienced back in 2009, pre-diagnosis. My stomach has been in knots ever since. I want desperately to find out what my new number is, but at the same time, I don't want to know. I hate cancer with every fiber of my being. It's not enough that it tries to kill us, it has to torture us with dread and uncertainty, as well.
Darnit Carlene,
You can't have a recurrence. Absolutely not! Nope, nope, nope. That is unacceptable! In fact, it's unacceptable for any of us!
I'm waiting for my doctor to call me back now. Apparently, a secretary covering for the doctor's secretary faxed my results to me before the doctor saw them. (An honest error, and, in all honesty, I wanted to know as soon as possible anyway).
I'm hoping it's hernia or inflammation related and not cancer. In the meantime, the local liquor store will be getting some business from me for sure!
Cheers!
Leesa
PS: Praying really hard for everyone!0 -
Same hereLaundryQueen said:Urinary urgency & signs of ascites
Leesa & Carlene
Hopefully, you have not had a sudden increase in your weight or abdominal girth (that's how I monitored the ascites when I had it). I monitor those objective signs on a regular basis.
Hoping for the best for you both.
I also monitor how my clothing fits. No changes, but I have noticed a decreasing appetite.
I hate this every three month anxiety fest I go on!
Leesa0 -
This comment has been removed by the Moderatorleesag said:Darnit Carlene,
Darnit Carlene,
You can't have a recurrence. Absolutely not! Nope, nope, nope. That is unacceptable! In fact, it's unacceptable for any of us!
I'm waiting for my doctor to call me back now. Apparently, a secretary covering for the doctor's secretary faxed my results to me before the doctor saw them. (An honest error, and, in all honesty, I wanted to know as soon as possible anyway).
I'm hoping it's hernia or inflammation related and not cancer. In the meantime, the local liquor store will be getting some business from me for sure!
Cheers!
Leesa
PS: Praying really hard for everyone!0 -
I agree with other postersunknown said:This comment has been removed by the Moderator
Don't worry yet. WE always worry about our numbers when they go up but it can be for many other reasons. Have it retested and hopefully it will be down. Prayers and hugs coming your way..val0 -
Carlene is right that count
But it's so hard not to panic and we all do it and just can't help it. The worrying and torture is just as bad as this disease. I wish we had an instant ct/pet scan machine or a ca125 counter at home so we could check it every 5 seconds. If I had that i'd probably never leave the damn apt and faxing my doctor the results every 5 minutes to see what he thought about the results. Thank god I can have everything delivered. Could you imagine! It really is so amazing that we are always reching out for ansewrs..."what does this mean".. "what does that mean".. It's just a constant waiting game to see what the results actually mean.
I'm with you about that liqure store. Mine delivers and I only live accross the street!
Hang in there! J.0 -
Boy I hope no reacurranceHissy_Fitz said:Well, crap. Don't panic yet
Well, crap. Don't panic yet (I know....easier said than done.) It's one lousy point over the "norm" - not a big deal. And it's too early to call this a trend. When is your doc going to re-test?
Leesa....don't forget that we are here for you, day or night.
I'm wearing out my Rosaries, guys. This group is due for some good news for a change.
Carlene
PS....I am scheduled for a scan on the 12th and new labs on the 14th. Yesterday I had several hours of urinary urgency - one of the very few symptoms of OC I experienced back in 2009, pre-diagnosis. My stomach has been in knots ever since. I want desperately to find out what my new number is, but at the same time, I don't want to know. I hate cancer with every fiber of my being. It's not enough that it tries to kill us, it has to torture us with dread and uncertainty, as well.
Carlene,
I do the same as you...."It must be cancer". I want to know and then I don't want to know. I always feel a bit better when I'm actually sitting in the waiting room of the doctors office waiting for the scan and I MAKE him tell me what he saw when it's done or I won't leave. One time I was in such a panic my husband told me to go to my doctors office and sit in his waiting area to see if that helped and I had no appointment or anything..just in a panic and nothing had changed! I had no new symptoms or anything like that. I said that you just sit there because he would ask why I was there. My husband told he wouldn't even notice because there are so many people waiting to see him that there is no way he would even see me sitting there doing nothing. Good luck with the scan and labs! J.0 -
side noteleesag said:Darnit Carlene,
Darnit Carlene,
You can't have a recurrence. Absolutely not! Nope, nope, nope. That is unacceptable! In fact, it's unacceptable for any of us!
I'm waiting for my doctor to call me back now. Apparently, a secretary covering for the doctor's secretary faxed my results to me before the doctor saw them. (An honest error, and, in all honesty, I wanted to know as soon as possible anyway).
I'm hoping it's hernia or inflammation related and not cancer. In the meantime, the local liquor store will be getting some business from me for sure!
Cheers!
Leesa
PS: Praying really hard for everyone!
How long is an opened bottle of wine good for? Now that my liver enzymes are almost normal I may feel the desire to indulge again.0 -
Waiting room therapyjloe said:Boy I hope no reacurrance
Carlene,
I do the same as you...."It must be cancer". I want to know and then I don't want to know. I always feel a bit better when I'm actually sitting in the waiting room of the doctors office waiting for the scan and I MAKE him tell me what he saw when it's done or I won't leave. One time I was in such a panic my husband told me to go to my doctors office and sit in his waiting area to see if that helped and I had no appointment or anything..just in a panic and nothing had changed! I had no new symptoms or anything like that. I said that you just sit there because he would ask why I was there. My husband told he wouldn't even notice because there are so many people waiting to see him that there is no way he would even see me sitting there doing nothing. Good luck with the scan and labs! J.
jloe
Hey! I want to know if you ever DID sit in the waiting room and if it helped you calm down. Your husband is very observant and knows you so well...hahahaha!0 -
I did one time!LaundryQueen said:Waiting room therapy
jloe
Hey! I want to know if you ever DID sit in the waiting room and if it helped you calm down. Your husband is very observant and knows you so well...hahahaha!
It was after I went in the get the port flushed and found out they forgot to get a ca 125 3 weeeks before and I just lost it in front of the nurse. So I sat in his waiting room after the port just out of sight for about 2 hours on the blackberry emailing the world and never saw him. How crazy is that !!! I think my husband was glad that I waited couple of hours before I came home to drive him out of his mind LOL.0 -
Waiting room hell !!!!jloe said:Boy I hope no reacurrance
Carlene,
I do the same as you...."It must be cancer". I want to know and then I don't want to know. I always feel a bit better when I'm actually sitting in the waiting room of the doctors office waiting for the scan and I MAKE him tell me what he saw when it's done or I won't leave. One time I was in such a panic my husband told me to go to my doctors office and sit in his waiting area to see if that helped and I had no appointment or anything..just in a panic and nothing had changed! I had no new symptoms or anything like that. I said that you just sit there because he would ask why I was there. My husband told he wouldn't even notice because there are so many people waiting to see him that there is no way he would even see me sitting there doing nothing. Good luck with the scan and labs! J.
Isn't is strange but I absolutely hate being in the waiting room. I sit there and I get more and more anxious. I sit on my hands to stop me trembling, I try to look like I'm not bothered - anything to take my mind off why I am there. I even feel anxious when I walk past it on my way to my chemo clinic.
Tina xxx0 -
Numbers anxietymopar said:LEESA & CARLENE
Leesa:
My numbers just doubled (to 28), and a month later I had the test retaken and it went back down to 18. Could have been inflammation some where, an infection, etc. Please don't panic yet. I know how much anxiety this creates. Sending you lots of HUGS to squeeze out that anxiety!
Carlene, I know what you're feeling, too. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, but it still gnaws at us when we don't know that number, or what the deal is with pain, etc. I'm sending lots of hugs to you, too!
Monika
I can identify with you all. My numbers have a nasty habit of jumping up when there is no evidence on my scan to back it up. My consultant always says it is the CT scan that gives the better picture but I can't helping worrying about the rise in the numbers. I think this is why I dread the follow ups because I always expect my numbers to go up. I suppose I am getting used to it a bit now so it is not quite so scary anymore.
I do expect to always be on chemo now and have developed a new way of looking at my life. It sucks - yes, but what choice do we have?????????? Except it and try to live your life the best you can OR refuse to except it and be in a constant state of misery worrying about it. I know its not always as easy or clear cut as that (It has taken me 16 months to reach that conclusion)but now I think like that the raw fear is not there anymore and I have found some kind of peace.
Lots love to you all Tina xxxxxxxxx0 -
Ditto to everything said.kayandok said:Leesa,
I always say that "limbo" is more stressful than anything. What is your doctor's opinion about the number? Do you have any symptoms?
Take care of yourself, and keep us posted.
Hugs and prayers,
katlheen
I have to go in next week for my 3-month CA125 and am downright scared. I don't remember thinking too much about it in January. I had anxiety on Monday, felt depressed on Tuesday and Wednesday felt so exhausted I got into bed at two in the afternoon. I felt some "weirdness" in my abdomen and like Carlene started imagining the worst. If this was before ov/ca I wouldn't have given it a second thought. I have been trying to lose some weight but actually gained the last two weeks. That bothered me too. This week I lost but I my clothes feel tight. Like someone said, this disease is not only trying to kill us but it tortures us in the process. My last number was 5 and of course I was thrilled but now I'm thinking I almost wish it hadn't been so low because if it even goes up even a little, I'll panic. I tell people I live my life in 3-month increments but it is more like 2 1/2 if I'm going to start worrying two weeks before the next blood test. Sorry to ramble but I know you all understand.
Karen0
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