Watching my mother cry really sucks

Lisa13Q
Lisa13Q Member Posts: 677
in Caregivers #1
I want her disappointment to be over....its not the physical pain and suffering that I am struggling with...it's her anguish....she's dying and does not want to go. She has put up a huge fight and not gotten any positive results for the effort and pain.....none. not one good CT scan.....ever.........I absolutely hate this f...ing disease....and the treatment even more.....I am praying the avastin causes her to have a stroke in the middle of the night so she's gone in peace and doesn't have to be heartbroken every day of her life and deal with what I know is coming.....i know we're supposed to "live everyday and embrace it".....no offense but what a crock......when my mother cant even walk to the bathroom, I am having trouble embracing that moment......or the fact that she is having difficulty breathing.....no joy in that either....sorry for the adolescent venting, but I am whipped......it got me.....the big C finally got to me today.....I will walk with my mother the rest of the way....but....I will NEVER EVER EVER forgive cancer for it's horribleness....and I cant wait for the day when we can annihilate this disease and I hope when we do, the cancer cells really suffer...I want them to feel immense pain the way they have made so many others........i will be there with the poison that makes the cancer wither and die.....and watch it, then bring it back a little and then douse it again....I HATE CANCER........needless to say, its been a very bad day...very bad.....

Comments

  • luz del lago
    luz del lago Member Posts: 449
    #2
    Proud of you...
    Lisa,
    I am so glad that you logged on and posted your anger, your anguish and your commitment to be a part of the movement that will some day eradicate the beast!

    I hope that physically, your mother's discomfort and pain, is being monitored. She should not be in pain. Emotionally, well, I too, watched my beloved husband fight to the end, not wanting to leave me, our children, our lives. It was heart wrenching! When the night before he passed, I told him if he was ready and the Lord was calling, to go. I would miss him beyond any words could express, but that I would be o.k., he, barely able to speak says, " I am not going anywhere, I do not want to leave you".

    I HATE CANCER, ALSO!!!!

    Did you know that right now, the politicians are being asked to pass an act that would help in earlier detection and better treatment for lung cancer? You can email your state officials letting them how important this is for the whole nation, pass the act, already!!

    I have directed much of my anger to cancer, in my beloved's case, lung cancer, and have joined several advocacy groups.

    I am so sorry that you had such a bad day. Take care of yourself.

    Hugs and wishes for a better tomorrow,

    Lucy
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #3
    luz del lago said:

    Proud of you...
    Lisa,
    I am so glad that you logged on and posted your anger, your anguish and your commitment to be a part of the movement that will some day eradicate the beast!

    I hope that physically, your mother's discomfort and pain, is being monitored. She should not be in pain. Emotionally, well, I too, watched my beloved husband fight to the end, not wanting to leave me, our children, our lives. It was heart wrenching! When the night before he passed, I told him if he was ready and the Lord was calling, to go. I would miss him beyond any words could express, but that I would be o.k., he, barely able to speak says, " I am not going anywhere, I do not want to leave you".

    I HATE CANCER, ALSO!!!!

    Did you know that right now, the politicians are being asked to pass an act that would help in earlier detection and better treatment for lung cancer? You can email your state officials letting them how important this is for the whole nation, pass the act, already!!

    I have directed much of my anger to cancer, in my beloved's case, lung cancer, and have joined several advocacy groups.

    I am so sorry that you had such a bad day. Take care of yourself.

    Hugs and wishes for a better tomorrow,

    Lucy

    I'm so sorry
    Going thru something like that is so traumatizing. I feel for you. I also HATE cancer. My dad has lung cancer he also can't breath, can't get up. He lies in bed struggling to breath.
  • luz del lago
    luz del lago Member Posts: 449
    #4
    ms.sunshine said:

    I'm so sorry
    Going thru something like that is so traumatizing. I feel for you. I also HATE cancer. My dad has lung cancer he also can't breath, can't get up. He lies in bed struggling to breath.

    Take action...
    Here it is! TAKE ACTION NOW! Lung Cancer Research Bill Introduced in the Senate & House!!!!! The Lung Cancer Mortality Reduction Act, represents continued bi-partisan and bi-cameral support for a multi-pronged federal plan that would address all aspects of lung cancer, including now a national lung cancer screening demonstration. We need to flood Congress with our messages! http://capwiz.com/lungcanceralliance/home/

    Dear friends,

    I am sure that you all are aware of this act and the important role it can play in early detection, more research and better treatments. If you have not made your voice heard yet, now is the time. A few minutes of your time can save a life!

    Best wishes,

    Lucy
  • tanker sgv
    tanker sgv Member Posts: 124 Member
    #5
    FU©K CANCER!!!!!!!
    I even got it tattooed on my arm. And venting ur anger about cancer is always healthy. I know the pain I went through it with my mom and even though her pain stopped 5months ago mine continues. If you have Facebook check out a cause I started on causes.com. its called "a ribbon for all cancers" it a site about not letting cancer win. http://www.causes.com/causes/557289-a-ribbon-for-all-cancers?recruiter_id=133078794
  • neverquit
    neverquit Member Posts: 220 Member
    #6
    Lisa. I HATE CANCER
    Lisa. I HATE CANCER TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    #7
    CANCER SUCKS!!!
    Lisa,
    My heart is breaking after reading your post. It made me remember watching my mom suffer from pancreatic cancer in 1989. They've come along way since then, but she only had one chemo treatment cause she got every side effect there was. She had so much hope that she would get better and so I never wanted to take those hopes away. She knew how much I loved her, but I only wish I would've told her what a wonderful mother she was and thank her for all that she taught me. So whatever you do, please let your mom know how much she means to you.
    I lost my husband one year ago from lung cancer. And I'm still very angry because he never deserved to die the way he did. He was only sick 2 months and hemmorraged from Avastin, so I hate that word also.
    Will they ever cure this f-----g disease??? I know they've come along way, but it seems like you hear so much about breast cancer and not enough about the rest.
    Well, I could go on but just want you to know that you have alot of friends on here whether you know it or not. We've all been through this and will be here for you anytime you need to talk to someone. Friends, Carole

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