Yes..cancer sucks...

Jesus Lisa , I am so sorry,
Jesus Lisa , I am so sorry, does this **** ever give up. I am unsure what to say , words cannot take the pain away, (( hugs)) Liz xx

Lisa13Q said:

Nothing left to say
Thanks for the nice note....we start avastin next week....we asked point blank if this is the beginning of the end and the doctor played song and dance......and said she has had people who have had great results from avastin.....so what, we chase this crap for ever until Mom dies? I'm in a bad bad mood...I knew it was going to be bad.......i hate watching my mother cry....

I'm sorry
There is nothing harder than watching your mother cry, I concur.. My mother cried the night we got the "offical" diagnosis of stage IV uterine cancer . Up till then, I can honestly say, I'd only seen her cry a few times in my whole entire life... Yes cancer sucks I concur on that as well. I can understand how angry, and frustrated and scared you must be right now. No matter how hard we brace ourselves for bad news, this kind of news hits like a sucker punch to the gut. What about pain meds? did the dr. address her pain. We didn't want song and dance, smoke and mirrors either...and at times I really felt like the emperor wasn't wearing any clothes, but at the same time,we were too scared and naive to ask the tough questions.. what if.. what if the treatment doesn't work, what's left in that wizard of oz bag.. I am thinking of you and your mom and sister and hoping for the best.. Hugs, Cindy

Lisa13Q said:

Thanks Cindy
I am soo with you...my sister and I are so different..she's like we should just live for today and be happy and I'm like "you're kidding right?"...... She told me to stop projecting!! Ok whatever...yes I'm angry....than God for this discussion board.....the only place I have to go right now.......thank God.....

cancer sucks the big one
it truely does. I am sorry for you and your family. I have also heard that avastin has had some good results. How does your mom feel right now and is she willing to try avastin? My personal self would try just about anything they have to stay alive. Hugs and prayer coming your way...val

clamryn said:

Stupid Stinkin Stuff (SSS)
Lisa, I am so sorry. I hate this. I hate the whole process. I stay away from the boards for a couple of days because I get so upset when I read someone is going through a rough time. And then I come back because this is the only place that I can vent and get mad and cry. I try not to cry in front of my children because I know they can't stand it. So I go into my room and read the boards and I cry with all of you. Please tell your mom that we all love her.
Sending lots of hugs to all of you.
Linda

Crying
This is tough...so sorry to hear of the stress everyone feels facing the unknowns of this disease.

Making a commitment to myself to NOT cry in front of my children or my parents. If I have to, I will cry in the neck of my dog or in the shower. I haven't really thought before about how much my feelings/emotions might hurt my loved ones. I'm sorry for the pain everyone feels...

Lisa....I cannot begin to
Lisa....I cannot begin to tell you how awful I feel right now. I am devistated for you and your family.

I hope I can hold it together when/if it comes to this for me. I hate the thought of seeing my husband and children cry and grieve. And my grandchildren. One of my granddaughters told me yesterday that she is "so scared" I will die. I said, "Sweetie, we all have to die." And she said she knew that, but she thinks people shouldn't have to lose their grandparents until they are really, really old. (I was afraid to ask her what number was "really, really old." I think she would probably have said forty.)

I have told my children that it won't be a sudden thing, that we will have time - probably several months. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. If I ruled the world, cancer would be the first thing to go. I know that sounds selfish, compared to world peace and genocide. But I'm not in a very benevolent mood tonight. So screw world peace, God, and just give us a cure for cancer. Please.

Carlene

Lisa,
I'm so so sorry! WHat is causing the stress fracture?!
My heart is so heavy for you and your mom.
kathleen

So sorry
This is terrible !Does your Mom have alot of pain in her back ? I am on Avastin now and the good news is that it is usually pretty easy to take. For me my arthritis is worse on it so maybe if they give her something for back pain it will help if she has any joint pain. You are such a good daughter your Mom is lucky to have you and your sister with both your different personalities. Good Luck and don't give up Avastin has helped keep the cancer at bay in alot of women.
Colleen

KarynH said:

Lisa,
I’m so sorry you and your family are going through what in the back of your mind you fear the most. As a daughter, we will trade in everything we have if only our mom could at least live a good life with this horrible hand she’s been dealt. We are so determined to find anything…..Even the slightest thing that will help. We go to bed at night with worry, wake up in the night sobbing, fighting the stress, feeling so out of control, but wake up bound and determined to keep on searching and fighting for answers that may work.

I know right now the devastation you must feel, but also want to tell you that
Avastin became the magic ticket for my mom. She is stage IV and had been on carbo/taxol and her numbers had stopped falling. They recommended adding avastin to her regimen and that was the kick in the pants that started cutting this cancer off at the knees. Please don’t throw in the towel yet.
I know this is the hardest thing ever to go through, but if you’re like me, we will gladly carry the stress and the worry if it will help our mom. This love you have for her is the greatest gift ever.

So sorry
Lisa

I can't imagine what you are going through and I hope the current situation doesn't put a permanent rift between you and your sister.

Everyone deals with grief in their own way and I think that you are probably emotionally stronger than your sister. That's why you can be angry about the bad news while your sister has to live in her "think positive" world.

As the mother of two very different daughters, nothing hurts me more than to see my "girls" at odds with each other.

I hope you and your sister can present a united front when the two of you are with your mother--I think it will help her in some small way. Forgive me for being an "armchair social worker"--I can't help it.

May God bless all of you and give you comfort during this time.

anicca said:

Lisa, I'm so sorry you've
Lisa, I'm so sorry you've gotten this awful news! I don't blame the doctor for the "song & dance" routine, because she does not want to crush all your hopes, and realistically, there is still hope. I am hoping that avastin will do for your mom what it has done for many others, and give you all more and better time together. I also would like to chime in as LaundryQueen did, that as the mother of two girls, the hardest thing is to see them fight (happens all the time, of course.) Humor your sister, if necessary, and let your mom see how good you are to each other. She will want the two of you to be able to lean on each other, so do a little song & dance and give her that.

DB

Lisa, so sorry to hear your news
My mom has gone through her taxol/carbo also and her numbers are low, but we have already been told the cancer is still there. She has debulking surgery at the end of this month, and we aren't sure how she's even going to get through that, but we do know it's coming back. It's just a matter of when...well, really it's still there. And she's thinking the surgery is going to get it all and I think she's hoping against hope that that will be the case. As for me, there's only me. My brother absolutely will NOT talk about it, does not want to know whats going on, does not want to discuss options, only wants life to go on like normal. So I'm the only one to take care of her. I want so badly to protect her, to take care of her, I wish I had a magic cure, I would give it to her. She hasn't cried once since we started down this road. Not a single time. And she ordered me not to cry. She said if I do, she will, so I can't. Makes alot of strain.

I hope the Avastin does it for your Mom. I really do. I hope she goes into remission and stays there a good long time.

I've had cancer too, breast cancer, so I know how scary it can be. I hate this D!@# disease! And I lost my dad to lung cancer, and my brother has already had cancer in his mouth, so that's every member of my immediate family. Weird isn't it?

I'm hoping for the best for you and your mother.

everywhere?
Lisa sorry the scan wasn't better. But where exactly is everywhere? Are we talking lungs, bladder and bone or are we talking multiple areas in the abdomen? We have to have hope that something will hold it off and even possibly shrink it. Keep hope. Are they thinking Avastin alone or with another agent?
XOXOXO